Alex Quackity X F! Reader angst
Prompt: you meet your ex boyfriend Alex at a bar accidentally.
Guys I didn't proof read this so excuse mistakes 🙏🏻
Also requests are open so feel free to ask anything!
"Are you ready yet?" Your friend Hadleigh asks as soon as she comes over, sitting down on your bed.
"Yeah just gotta do my eyeliner- I SWEAR whenever I need it to look good it looks like shit" You say sat down with a mirror in front of you taking out your eyeliner from your beauty case, earning a chuckle from the both of you.
You and Hadleigh have known each other for a long time, actually since middle school and you've been through everything together, from making slimes together to rolling up joints or getting black out drunk together.
"Nevermind it actually... Does it look good? Do they look like twins or cousins?" You ask turning around.
"It's good! Don't try to re-do it, it's perfect this way, also you probably won't have time to, Micheal is almost here"
"Great then" You answer back before getting up to put some essentials in your purse and when Micheal, a friend of Hadleigh, honks to let y'all know he's outside, you actually don't make him wait.
"Incredible! Hadleigh's on time!" He says as you two open the back door to his car getting a few laughs from the other two friends of their.
"Yeah shut the fuck up usually we're late because she is slow" Hadleigh says smirking at you.
Once you finally get to the bar, you don't really expect anything out of the ordinary, just some friends of Micheal, and Hadleigh also didn't know them so you wouldn't stand out as an outsider too much.
But as soon as the dread of seeing your ex boyfriend sat at a table sets in, you suddenly don't care about being perceived as an outsider that much anymore, which gives some kind of relief.
Until other people from his table start waving at Micheal and their other two friends that rode with you and Hadleigh here.
As you make your way towards the table your heartbeat increases and you just look back at Hadleigh with a mortified look on your face.
"It's going to be fine the rest of them probably don't even know you, I don't think he'd tell them about you"
"I guess... But still what the fuck am I supposed to do just ignore him or try to chit chat..." But your worried whispers get interrupted once the attention turns to you two.
"So this is Hadleigh..." As Micheal introduces you, y'all all sit down, obviously you and Hadleigh sit next to each other, and your heart skips a beat when you realize that opposite to you is seated Alex.
As some of the people at the table ask a few questions to you and Hadleigh, Alex silently listens to the conversation, or maybe not as he already knows everything there is to know about the two of you: Hadleigh is your loyal best friend, prom queen of senior year and top notch theatre kid, and you are his ex girlfriend, bitter to look at and someone he tried so hard to forget.
What went down isn't necessarily hard to explain: in highschool you got assigned a project with Alex and afterwards started hanging, it wasn't long until you started making moves at him and you two were friends with benefits long before you two actually got together. You hadn't planned to get with him for starters because he was too sweet and a loser, which is just the formula that makes a male manipulator from what you've learnt from your past experiences, but after he kept that persona up for months you thought that maybe he wasn't like them other boys.
And he wasn't. But you weren't that same lover girl anymore, that was never appreciated and honestly, at a subconscious level, you felt like it was maybe even right to be the asshole for one time.
And so came to be the arguments about the stupidest things.
"Why the fuck were you talking to that bitch? You know how I feel about Sarah- oh my god it's like you don't even care about the things I've told you about" You almost shouted at his face.
"I'm telling you she just asked for the homework I didn't mean to-" And he tried so hard to de-escalate the situation but you just wouldn't listen.
"Oh yeah of course!" And then you went on and on about the same stupid argument you knew was futile until you left leaving him a mess. And feeling like it was his fault.
Or maybe when he'd be the one to 'start' an argument.
"I don't get why you have to get mad at me, it's not that I don't wanna go out, I'm telling you my mom won't let me"
"That's the same lame fucking excuse you use every time. I just want to see my boyfriend but god forbid his bitch of a mother won't let him! I bet it's because she doesn't fucking like my ass! What have I even done to her?" You angryly speak to your phone.
And when he tried explaining to you that it was nothing personal you'd just sigh and mumble something and hang up, then ignore his calls and texts.
You were draining him and you knew it, and yet you couldn't be bothered to feel bad.
Obviously it was you who broke up with him, after all it wasn't the first time you've done this, only this time it was going to be permanent and you knew it.
You had gotten in a big fight with your parents, were failing a few classes and just had a major falling out with a friend and the stress was simply taking over you... Until you shut down, finally taking a look at how you've been self sabotaging every aspect of your life and sometimes the lifes of the people around you.
And when Alex and you went out, you just dropped the bomb on him.
This time he was the hysterical one.
"Don't say that! You always say that and it always ends up being a lie so just be honest now and spare me!" He said, his voice trembling being the only audible thing during the night.
You shifted around on the bench that you two were sitting on to better look at him.
"It's nothing you've done Alex!" You raised your voice, shutting him up and you sighed "I'm trying to get one thing across and it's that I'm a bad person towards you, Alex."
The silence filled the air for just one moment before you spoke up again.
"And I want to say that I'm sorry, I know what I was doing, I know I was wrong and I know that if I really wanted to I could've been different. But I wasn't, for various reasons, but not because of you, it's not your fault I've acted this way and it's not your fault I'm leaving you
And I'm leaving you because I'm too ashamed and proud to fix this, I need to let you go and work on myself and I cannot do that if I also need to fix us. I just can't and I'm sorry and-"
For the first time you were the one to stop mid sentence to hold back tears "And as for you, I hope that tonight I gave you the answers to the countless questions you'll ask yourself."
You had gotten up and said "You're a sweet person, Alex, don't change because of me, you just got unlucky ending up with me and when you'll find the right person your gentle personality will be rewarded."
You have no idea what happened to him after that, usually he'd text you after you had broken up with him, but not this time, and it was a relief, hoping he'd finally understood that it's better this way.
And here you are sitting in front of him, changed, grown.
And here he is changed, grown.
The table is filled with different people having different conversations and you occasionally look over at Hadleigh that gives you a little smile each time to calm yourself down, almost reminding you that you're not that person anymore.
But that doesn't necessarily mean you don't feel like shit for what you've done.
As Hadleigh chit chats with some guy sitting next to Alex, you sometimes glance over at him, honestly you don't even know if you're doing so to see if he also tries to steal glances at you or if you're reliving that whole period of your life each time you notice the little moles on his face that you love so much.
When he chimes in, his voice is the loudest to your ears even tho he still speaks in that same calm tone. Your body shuts down for a second, you don't know if it's your heart that skipped a beat or if you're about to throw up.
You're basically sweating- melting at the unreal situation that's playing out in front of you but it's only when your eyes meet Alex's and you finally acknowledge each other for the first time tonight that you can feel your consciousness getting pulled to the back of your mind.
It lasted maybe two or three seconds, but your guys' slightly glossy eyes speak volumes to the other.
As you lean back in your seat, getting overwhelmed by the living reminder of your mistakes, you turn to Hadleigh and somehow manage to blurt out some words.
"Wanna go out for a smoke?"
When she turns around to face you she doesn't really feel like it, but seeing your eyeliner melting off at the edges of your eyes is enough for her to immediately get up.
"Sure! Guys we'll be back in a few we're going out for a smoke break"
You basically rush her to the smoking area and light up a cigarette.
"Dude I cannot be in there" You say pacing back and forth.
"Girl it's ok" She says gabbing you by both your shoulders "Listen up: you're seeing this from your point of view, the way I'm seeing this is that he is completely calm and doesn't seem upset or uncomfortable"
"Yeah, it's been a couple of years, he's over all of that"
"Ok..." You chat a bit while finishing your cigarettes before walking back in.
The night goes on normally, everyone talks and is having fun, you get to hear Alex's laugh but you two don't directly speak to each other, and you're too afraid to start a conversation with him.
The fact that now you are the one scared to talk to him is almost funny, this train of thought of yours gets interrupted when some of the party, including Hadleigh, that did ask if it's okay to leave you alone here, goes to grab another drink for everyone and only few of you are left.
The part of the table where you and Alex are is silent, but not necessarily uncomfortably silent, more of a mutual understanding silent.
"Mh?" You say making sure he's talking to you.
"How... I'm sorry this is stupid" He says looking away.
"Oh no! I've been good- I've been better... It's not stupid I just wasn't sure you were speaking to me..."
He slowly and carefully looks back at you, both his eyes gloomy again.
"I've... Gotten better over time, now I uhh... I've been pursuing my Twitch career- I don't know if you remember-"
"Of course I remember! How's that going?" You say smiling at him as he struggles to find the right words and a shy smile also creeps on his lips.
"It's been good... Really good..."
He starts rambling about Twitch and YouTube, and you listen intently as if you don't already know he's become successful, he did pop up on your social media a few times before.
You get slightly interrupted by the others who came back with your drinks, Hadleigh hands you your Sex on The Beach and smiles at you.
"Thanks" You say before turning back to Alex with a bigger smile than you wanted to admit.
"How's your uhm, job?" He asks awkwardly, as he's being careful with his words you hope it's not because he's still afraid of your old outbursts but rather doesn't quite know how to handle the new situation just like you.
You answer his question and from then on you chit chat a bit, for the first time you match his calm way of doing and the conversation seems to come to an end too soon.
You all head out, everyone talking a bit before inevitably leaving.
And while you're standing next to Hadleigh, not really tuning into her conversation with Micheal, you once again steal glances at Alex.
You once again get nervous when you notice him walking up to you.
You turn around completely leaving behind the rest of the party, anyway neither of you know what to say.
The silence hangs over you before you take a deep breath and decide it's time.
It was physically hard, bringing everything back with words.
You both speak up at the same time only to interrupt each other "Oh sorry, you go" you say "I just- I was hurt... Not only because you left... But what you said to me, that night, it helped... And, from what I can tell by talking to you tonight, it was genuine, the things you told me...
I'm glad you were honest with me in the end"
"I guess that was the only way I could've showed you that I cared about you, but I- it didn't excuse what I did, it didn't make it right, and I want you to know that I'm sorry I put you through that"
"Girl are you ready to go?" You turn around to see Hadleigh waving for you to head back to the car with her.
"Yeah, I'm coming..." You say before turning back around to Alex.
You open your mouth to say something like bye or goodbye or see ya but nothing comes out and it's so pathetic but so real at the same time and Alex sees this, he sees you being at a loss for words for him for the first time.
Without warning he slowly embraces you into a hug, and you hug him back, it doesn't last long and when you split he mumbles bye to you.
"Bye, it was nice seeing you" and without waiting for a response you smile at him, turn on your heels and leave him behind.