#quasipresent (le queue)

[quasiwhitegirl]

adventures in cooking with my mother, p2

Me: Okay so I put the mince in, what do I do now?

Mum: Kill yourself.

[quasiwhitegirl]

quasiwhitegirl:

quasiwhitegirl:

quasiwhitegirl:

it’s 7.30am on the morning of the apocalypse and I’m not dead yet

it’s 2pm on the afternoon of the apocalypse and I’m still not dead yet

it's 11pm on the night of the apocalypse and I'm still not dead yet

well that was anticlimatic

[quasiwhitegirl]

pet peeves: people who say "I don't bite"

so do you swallow all your food whole or

[quasiwhitegirl]

Telemarketer: Are you the owner of the house?

Mum: No, I'm just a slave here.

Telemarketer: ..I beg your pardon?