#queer kinship

[hippopopotame]

“The point for me is to create relationships based on deeper and more real notions of trust. So that love becomes defined not by sexual exclusivity, but by actual respect, concern, commitment to act with kind intentions, accountability for our actions, and a desire for mutual growth.” ― Dean Spade

[roadien60]

This morning I was thinking about contrasts. Marta supported delaying the funeral so Darío could be there, then insisted he stay at the house instead of a hotel, all in defiance of appearances and what people might say. She called him family. And it’s clear she has thought of him that way for as long as he and Pelayo were together (thinking of “Un abrazo!” passed along to him through Pelayo, on the phone) even though they never really saw each other. When he arrived at the house she greeted him with intimacy even though I’m sure they didn’t know each other well.

And then there’s Pelayo, who never once thought of Fina as anything more than a danger to him and an inconvenience to be managed. She was never his family, even though they spent time together regularly. If it had been Marta’s funeral, he probably wouldn’t have wanted her to be there. What would the optics be if she were to skip a shift at the store? None of the other dependientas get to skip work for this.

Freijero as Darío… doesn’t give us much, unfortunately. It’s clear he hates having to be the one to give Marta the truth. And he was clearly touched when Marta called him family. But I wonder if he realized in that moment—probably to the first time—that if he is Marta’s family, then Fina should have been Pelayo’s family, and by extension his own. He harmed his own family to protect his own skin.

And Darío LIKES Fina. He felt a kinship with her from the beginning. They could have become so much more to each other than they were, and they would have enjoyed it, too. And Marta and Fina would have loved nothing more.

And so Pelayo didn’t just hurt Fina and Marta, but also Darío and himself,l by shattering the possibility of something beautiful just because it was difficult.

[faye-doll]

hello tumblr nation! i'm writing a final paper about the unique queer kinship relationships that can occur in online fandom spaces. if you think that you have any experiences you could contribute to this, please fill out this form! i understand that this is very personal information, so you're welcome to stay anonymous. more info/definitions are in the form description! 🫶

https://forms.gle/QVzrDoMZvXyThPdT6

[thevelvetmenace]

Our Queer Ancestors

Ancestry is a concept that at first seems bound within a heterosexist framework. Ancestry—when understood within the confines of limited heterocentrist viewpoint—is thought to exist only within the realm of blood relation, stemming from the proliferation of the ideal family unit across time and space as parents produce children, who become adults that in turn find heterosexual partners and produce children.  This is what is understood when we speak of ancestry.  

But what of Queer Ancestry?  What of the kinships that are formed by those whose families have rejected them?  What of those families who’s bond to one another is not blood but instead a shared commitment to protect, support, and uplift one another?  Where, in the traditional family ideal, is there room for queer understandings of love and family?  Our families are not connected by some shared DNA, they are connected by a shared spirit of resistance, of a common will to life that drives us to reject the hegemonic in search of a more authentic sense of self-actualization. 

Many of our Queer Ancestors’ names have been lost to time, erased by the hegemonic power of heterohistory.  Although their names may be lost, their stories can still empower and embolden us.  By sharing their stories we carry their essence with us; they lend us their strength and their courage, their passion and their pain.  Take strength from your Queer Ancestors.  Allow them to empower you.  Allow them to lend you their spirit, and they will lift you to new heights.

[reimagining-kinship]

The new American family: trans, gender queer, nonbinary, two-spirit

As part of our series, Stonewall at 50, we hear from six people who found love and happiness – after being told they didn’t belong

Hey folks! I found this interesting article where individuals share their stories about how they found acceptance and belonging in their found families and communities.

If you have time give it a read!

[slugever]

People tended to describe their chosen families in terms that were as much about sustenance as safety. Gay families have created a cultural space in which people can love, but also fight, without expecting their chosen kin to walk away, much less go off to organize a faction.

Kath Weston, Families We Choose

[queerakinship]

[queerakinship]

Land of Gazillion Adoptees

This web site and online community is a great place for learning about adoptee culture and the intersections of adoption. This website is a place of providing news about adoption around the world as well as in the United States. While the community is heavily Asian American, it is a space for Queer and other people of color.

Gazillion Voices

This is the online magazine associated with Land of Gazillion Adoptees. This is different because this focuses on the stories and narratives of adoptees around the United States, some of whom are LGBTQ.

What Kinship is-and is Not by Marshall Sahlins

This book provides a short and digestible introduction to notions of what kinship is and is not. This was not included in my articles but is a great read.

Families we choose: Lesbians, gays, kinship. Kath Weston

This book, while lengthy, really delves into the hardships of family in the LGBTQ community. It tackles notions of losing family, and then choosing one’s own and then the sometimes return to the ‘blood’ family. I wish I analyzed this book instead.

"Building kinship and community: Relational processes of bicultural identity among adult multiracial adoptees.“ by Gina Miranda Samuels

This article is interesting in that it explores the racialization of kinship in the Black community as well as the duality of a biracial culture of being adopted.

”Contemporary adoptive kinship: a contribution to new kinship studies.“ by Janette Logan

This piece takes a look at the changing definitions of family with adoption and technology and LGBTQ couples now having children. Kinship and how they are being formed in contemporary culture is important to understanding how kinship networks are created.