#queer minister

[questioningchristianqueer]

I kinda wish I wasn’t....

I kinda wish I wasn’t queer.

I wish my faith didn’t seem to come up against my sexuality.

I wish I could be in ministry without my sexuality mattering.

I wish I didn’t feel so broken and shameful.

I wish I wasn’t so alone.

I wish I didn’t come out. And get into ministry. And passionately hold faith.

[questioningchristianqueer]

I’ve been on tumblr for a year now. I started this page to be able to question and reflect on my faith and sexuality. I think I thought it would be easier than it has been. I thought I’d have figured it out after a few weeks. I thought when I started the account I was basically okay. Turns out I have so far to go to be ready to accept myself and reconcile my faith and sexuality. Onwards to tomorrow I guess. Thankful for the community that has reached out here.

[questioningchristianqueer]

I work for an organisation of bigots

So I had my district meeting yesterday wth all the people that do the job I do in the area.

One of them bought up how one of their students it’s transitioning and how hard it is for them to see this girl as a boy. I kept correcting pronouns and the conversation went on. Everyone expressed the unfortunate behaviour of sexuality and gender in schools and expressed that in their opinion no one actually wanted gender neutral and space for sexuality.

I spoke up and said that we teach about consent and being yourself and being in control of your body and yet these people aren’t respecting that. I also said it was a respect thing to call someone by the pronouns they wanted like using someone’s name.

I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t already quit I would have been put on notice for speaking out yesterday. It’s just not okay. These people are supposed to be Christians and pastoral carer.

[questioningchristianqueer]

This week, in conversation with my friend, we basically decided to flirt and connect personally again. I still love her but she needed space because of life. I am so happy.

I’m a little nervous that I’m gonna get hurt, it’s a little messy and the boundaries are a little blurry.

But how much trouble can we really get in when we live in different states?

[questioningchristianqueer]

I frequently test the water with my mum about LGBTIQ things. I want to come out to her but I don’t want to disappoint her.

I mentioned last night that for my birthday today I was going to dinner with friends and most of the people were gay. I said out of 9 I think there were 2 straight people. And she was like well you and one other? Surely there is more.

I was like what if I was gay? She as like no, you’re not. That’s not what to tell me before your birthday.

I guess she isn’t quite there yet. I’ll wait another while and try again.

[questioningchristianqueer]

Pray this week!

The UCA in SA is meeting to vote on if they should stop doing SSM.

It’s a really frustrating clause in the constitution that will cause a lot of hurt and pain.

Please pray that not enough people vote to stop it and that the UCgAys will feel safe and included in the church.

[questioningchristianqueer]

Today at school some students were bullying some other students about their sexuality.

The PE teacher who is a young male, was on behaviour management and he was so direct, telling the bullies that actually it’s not okay to question and pick on people about sexuality and that maybe 10 years ago they would have been able to get away with it, but we had come a long way and if they had a problem with someone’s sexuality now they needed to keep it to themselves because it was their issue to sort out.

It was really beautiful and I think the best thing was chatting to the PE teacher later and him saying he would have bullied kids back in his day but now realised it’s dumb and not okay and that he would advocate for safety of all students.

In a week where the sexuality of students and staff seems to be in the media and matter to some people. This conversation gave me hope. I’m a queer chaplain in a public school but not out and I can be fired by the organisation that employs me for my sexuality if they knew, but my school values me and their students regardless of our sexuality. And staff and others are willing to stand up to eliminate bullying based on sexuality.

[questioningchristianqueer]

I’m starting to be true to myself and opening up to that reality in public. This is me with a pride rainbow bandana, heading out to a church social justice conference. Is it a bold statement? I don’t know but I feel good. I feel like me.