A thousand thanks to @lairofsentinel and @alcassin to help me complete these lists!
I am finally putting all the games I know with same sex/queer romances. Mainly, I am focusing on non-dating games, so games that are about a specific plot, adventures, other non-romantic events but that do have romance options in them.
Recommended: Are all games that I played personally and that have full romance.
Informational: Games I know have romance, but I have not played personally or I could not confirm there was enough romantic content, or games where the romantic content is minimal (ex. Fable)
The lists are divided (linked) in:
RPGS (ex. BG3, DA:O, DO2 etc.), in total 39 games are currently added in this list
Visual novels that do not focus around dating (ex. Solstice, Loren etc.) but that still have romantic options/romantic storylines, currently 10 games in the list
Life simulators or walking simulators (ex. Stardew Valley), currently 7 games in the list
Others, currently 7 games in the list. Others are all games that did not end up in the above categories (ex. hack and slash games like Hades, puzzle games like Newfound courage)
There is also a category for dating sim visual novels. Here I will only add games I played and enjoyed given that it is usually pretty easy to find queer visual novels.
If there is a "what to expect" summary from this blog (a lot written by lairofsentinel!!) I also linked that!