#queerdybbuk

[hannalell]

queerdybbuk are you visiting home

[morguelefey]

queerdybbuk then again, since i've been in the boat of identity crisis, "can i even BE a lesbian if i'm nb-genderfluid-woman, depending on the dissociation/day? am i lying to myself? can i be attracted to nb ppl if i'm a lesbian? i h8 all men, which is the only thing i'm set in stone on. i prefer women, but...eh i'll call it even so i dont hurt expectations since i only care for sexual reasons anyway, and call it bi" for like, a year i will stop projecting my insecurities onto a good post XD

[wearyewe]

queerdybbuk replied to your post:

not comparable bc I’m not transethnic but it seems similar to what leads to my grandparents incessantly defending the antisemitism of my non-Jewish fam and notably complimenting me on features that seem more “aryan”, & it all comes from self hatred

No I think it is comparable, because like you said it comes from the same place. It’s just different flavors of self-hatred and antisemitism. I used to get “oh Alexis it’s okay; you aren’t REALLY jewish” all the time from friends in high school and it took me awhile to realize what they were really saying.

[wearyewe]

queerdybbuk replied to your post:queerdybbuk She has a lot of internalized…

That’s terrible, like simultaneously scary for her and objectifying/invalidating for you. My mother has this weird superpower where she can id the children of Jewish immigrants, and I think that gives them away is a particular kind of anxiety.

Yeah, she has a lot of anxiety of wanting/needing to assimilate as much as she can, but still “remain Jewish.” Silly example is that she chastises me for using Yiddish but then also chastises me for saying things like “Oh good lord” because they’re so “goyische.” And hearing stories of antisemitism from her childhood, I can’t say that her desire is that surprising.

I’m still not sure if it’s more upsetting to me that she feels that way or that I have to deal with the fallout of her feeling that way (of course, both is always an option).

[wearyewe]

queerdybbuk She has a lot of internalized antisemitism and ethnocentrism (amongst other isms) being the daughter of turn of the century Ashkie and Litvak immigrants. It's super painful for me, especially because it's pointless to try to talk with her about it. It always ends up in an argument with me being called oversensitive or silly. AND it ends with her quasi-fetishizing my genetics as an adoptee, which is suuuuper fun and not at all objectifying. And makes me feel like I'm not a "real" Jew or a "real" child, all at the same time. 

[wearyewe]

queerdybbuk

replied to your post

“I’m just not going to respond to that post anymore. I’m not going to...”

I wonder at what point it's just derailing since I've not seen succinct critiques, not to mention the MENA Christians reblogging it without criticism.

mideast-nrthafrica-cntrlasia had a good critique, although it wasn't so much a critique as much as an addition. (And I'm wondering if what they're talking about isn't White supremacy as much as Arab supremacy backed in part by White supremacists/nationalists, but I could be wrong.) 

But that's...that's about it. Everything is just curses and "not all Christians" and "but there are POC Christians too!" Which while true (that there ARE POC Christians who truly believe in Christianity), I think the pertinent questions are WHY and FROM WHERE did their Christian faith come? Was it indigenous to the region/culture, was it a choice to convert into, or was it convert or die/be expelled via colonialism? And again, I think it's super obvious which that post is talking about.

[wearyewe]

Ugh....you people!!!! If you all knew how much of a loser I really was in real life... I love you all.

[wearyewe]

queerdybbuk BTW, what the hell happened today? Someone's sending MoTs shower anons? JFC.