#queue are perfect

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

Burden Noun: A load, typically a heavy one. I consider myself to be a burden on the people I love sometimes. And when I do feel that way, I tell them that I'm sorry.  I'm sorry to bother you with my problems. I'm sorry to burden you with my mess. And like good friends they tell me that I'm not burdening them. And that they're happy to help me. But the thing is, Happy or not to help, I'm still burdening them with my issues. They are still carrying a load that they did not ask for. And sure, sharing some burden is a part of friendship, But what is the weight limit? At what point will their knees shake and buckle under the pressure? My friends are already carrying the weight of their own trauma. Why would I want to add my own to what they're carrying?

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

I haven't directly thought about you in awhile. In fact, when your name came up for this challenge, I looked you up on Facebook. I saw your usual memes and some holiday pictures. I won't lie and say that I thought nice thoughts. Even though I haven't directly thought about you in awhile, You are in so much of my life still. I hear you every time I say sorry for something I don't need to. I feel you when I stop myself from anxiously shaking my leg. I hear your voice when my anxious thoughts rush through my head. I see you in the way my friend accepts love after you. Even though I haven't directly thought about you in awhile, I still think about you. I wonder if you think about me? Have you recognized your faults in what happened? Do you regret the way you treated me? Treated us? Even though I wonder these things, I know the answers. You don't think about me. And if you do, you are blaming me for things that I had no control over, Like you always did. You haven't recognized your faults because you turn everything on everyone else, Like you always did. You don't regret the way you treated me, or us, because you think that you can do no wrong, Like you always did."

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

You told me once to consider forgiving him. The anger at the thought hit me hard and fast. I could feel hot, angry tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. How? How could I possibly begin to forgive him? I can barely halfheartedly forgive myself. Which is crazy because I was a child and a victim. He was supposed to take care of us. He was supposed to be the one we could trust. But he didn't take care of us. And he broke our trust. Many negative things that have occurred can often be traced to him. And sure, we had our own level of guilt, But we were kids. And he should have known better.

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

Life with my parents Is an interesting ride. I wouldn't trade it.

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

I have a complicated relationship with sharing. Some days, I am as closed off as a conservative Christian's heaven, But other days I am the flood, destroying everything in my path with my feelings I need to find a balance with sharing, And I need to learn to share the important things.

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

You are beautiful, But I'm only afforded A brief glance of you.

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

You have taught me what love is, What love is supposed to feel like, How it feels to be truly wanted, To belong, to feel safe. And for that, even if this isn't for forever, I will always be grateful for you And the love you have given me.

@itsagoodlifepoetry

[itsagoodlifepoetry]

Here, I am quiet. There, I am loud and joyful. I need to be there.

@itsagoodlifepoetry