who tf told me it was a good idea to open up a chat with a person i had a falling out YEARS ago and who has me blocked to just type into it how much i resent the fact that thing still fucked me up when literally everyone i’ve ever known told me to just get the fuck over it two therapists told me to get the fuck over it and i KNOW i should get the fuck over it because i KNOW i’m not getting closure and it’s still driving me fucking mad
fucking hell i wish that i just idk didn’t care abt what other ppl think enough to have that nonsense under control but no here i am years later basically avoiding people because if i don’t interact first then i’m not getting backstabbed later r-i-g-h-t, then turns out there’s a perfectly sensed explanation for it and I COULD HAVE KNOWN TEN YESRS AGO AND I DIDN’t and ugh anyway sorry for this nonsense i’ll reply to dm-s soon just…. god fucking grief why am i like this