"Customer" at Work Tried to Quick-Change Me Yesterday
The good news: it didn't work, because, hilariously, he tried to scam the one sales associate at the store who has been befuddled by a quick-change artist before and now keeps her guard up at all times.
Here's the full version of the story, including how I knew that the asshole was trying to scam me.
So, I was at the register, and I saw these two guys walk into together. I smiled and greeted them, they smiled back and greeted me, then headed over to the "Dollar Deal" section of the store...which is about 10 feet from the register, which is turn is about 30 feet from the door. I was checking someone else out, and they stood near the Dollar Deal section until the other person left. Since there was no one else there, I smiled and say to them, "Are y'all finding everything okay?" Guy1 quickly grabed two little crappy knick-knacks (a two-pack of cat toys and some Halloween window decorations) and he and his buddy laid them down on the counter.
Red Flag #1: The guys did not actually do any "shopping." They went straight to the cheapest section of the store and, when there weren't any other customers as the counter, they grabbed two random items and made a beeline for the register. Now, it's not incredibly uncommon for people to walk in, head straight for one department because they only need one thing, and then come back to check out...but that's if someone is buying something very specific (i.e., a heat lamp for their terrarium; a bag of dog food). It's extremely uncommon for people to just hit up the Dollar Deal Section (not even the clearance rack, where we have good stuff on sale) and then be done for the day.
I started ringing them up and Guy1 suddenly became very chatty. He asked me how I'm doing, if I'm having a good day, how much longer I have in my shift, how late is the store open, how long have I been working here, and do I like working here, because it seems like it would be fun to work in a pet store but maybe not. And am I just a cashier, or "have they promoted to you manager yet?" (Laughter) Oh, and if I'm a cashier, do I also have to do stuff like cleaning, because that would really suck and I guess your manager just thinks he can make you do everything, huh? I conversed with him, all smiles and good customer service, while I rang up his stuff. His total was $2.17. As he continued to talk to me and Guy2 (at this point I'm barely even listening), he handed me a $50 bill.
Red Flag #2: Guy would not shut up when I was ringing up his items, and he was being way too buddy-buddy with me. Again, this in itself is not completely unheard of; in this job, people love to tell me about their pets or ask what kind of pets I have or if I'm in school. But it was the way he was asking--a lot of distinctly different questions with no real segue, rapid-fire, and like he wanted me to feel like we were cool with each other even though we were total strangers. I got the very distinct impression that he was just trying to get me to focus on talking to him instead of what I was doing.
Red Flag #3: He handed me a large bill to pay for a very small amount. Like everything else, this one by itself is not necessarily indicate of ulterior motives; every so often, I'll have someone pay for something that's ~$18 with a 50 and be embarrassed like, "I'm sorry, that's the smallest bill I have," or "Can you break this for me?" But usually people at least acknowledge that they're asking me to make a lot of change, they don't just hand me a large bill. Nor do they pay such a tiny amount with such a large amount.
As I've previously emphasized, none of the aforementioned red flags, by itself, are cause for concern. However, the fact that all three were piled on together, and the guy was taking each one to extremes, and the fact that he was just in general giving off a very sketchy vibe? Thought blaring on the loudspeaker in my brain: "THIS GUY IS PROBABLY TRYING TO QUICK CHANGE YOU. PROCEED WITH CAUTION."
And that's precisely what I did. I accepted the $50, laid it horizontally in the register so it was very obviously the bill he gave me, made the change...and then counted it out to him: "Okay, your change is $47.83. Here's 20...40...45...46...47...and here's 25, 50, 75, 80, 81-82-83 cents. Alrighty!"
Then, Guy1 did exactly what I thought that he was going to do next: He got a bewildered expression on his face and said, "Wait, 47 bucks? How much did I give you?"
I said sweetly, "You gave me $50, sir. See?" And I showed him the $50 that was still laying horizontally in the drawer.
Guy1 shook his head, all embarrassed, and said, "Crap, I meant to give you a five! Sorry, I was talking to my cousin and I got distracted! Look, I need my 50 back, 'cause once you break that a large bill, all you've got are a ton of small bills." He got a bunch of singles out (putting them down so fast that I couldn't count them) and laid them with his change, and pushed the stack of bills toward me. "Here's $50, I just need that bill I gave you back." He then set down another dollar. "Oh, and while you've got the register open, can you give me four quarters for a dollar?"
BLOOD-RED FUCKING FLAG #4: After I made change for the large bill, he suddenly changed his mind and wanted to pay with small bill, and then he also wanted me to do something else entirely unrelated to the transaction at hand "while [I've] got the register open." To anyone reading this who doesn't get why this is such a huge deal: this is the textbook example of how a quick-change scam begins. Like, if you don't know what a quick-change scam is and you do research, this is the example that 99% of sources will tell you about. Because when that whole nonsense starts and money starts changing hands off the books and you're trying to do more than one thing at once, that's when it gets very confusing and the cashier is extremely vulnerable.
Suddenly the loudspeaker in my head was blaring, "THIS GUY IS DEFINITELY TRYING TO QUICK-CHANGE YOU. ABORT, ABORT, ABORT." And even though on the outside, I was staying very calm and friendly, my heart was actually racing and I could feel the adrenaline pumping, because Jesus Christ, there's a guy trying to rip me off standing right in front of me, and I know what he's up to but he doesn't realize that I know, and I have to keep my cool if I want to come out on top...and of course, there's a small part of me that's a bit worried about my safety, because while I'm stronger than I look, I'm dealing with two very large, tough-looking men right now, and I'm by myself. In retrospect, I seriously doubt that those two would have tried to hurt me, but at the time, I was very intimidated.
So I did what I always told myself I would do if I found myself in that situation again: I put on a face of mock-sympathy, and said simply, "I'm sorry, sir, but the store policy is that I have to give you the change that the computer says and nothing else." And while it's true that I myself am not allowed to make change for people who want to break bills (a manger has to do it), that bit about having to do what the computer says it bullshit.
I hoped that the guy would back down but that was wishful thinking, of course. He said, "No, I don't need any more change or anything. I just want you to give me back my 50, since I really need it back." He pointed to the stack of bills on the counter. "Here's $50. Just gimme back my 50 and we'll be even."
I just repeated what I'd said earlier, apologizing, but it's store policy, my hands are tied.
The guy exhaled and said, "No, look, lemme explain this." He then 'explained' to me what he needed done, in a way that was extremely complicated and I can't even being to recall so I could relay it to y'all reading this.
I said (again), "Sir, I understand, but I'm not allowed to do that. Would you like to speak to my manager? Maybe she can do something I can't."
Now, quick change artists often run away with their tails between their legs at the mention of a manger because they don't want to get caught, but this guy was really persistent. He said with a bit of annoyance: "Well, okay, you can call your manager, but I don't see why you have to bother her. I just need you to give me my $50 bill back."
I think he thought I was bluffing, like he could guilt me into not calling her. He was totally wrong; I replied, "Okay, well, let's talk to my manager and see what she says," then got on the P.A. system and paged her to the front. While we waited, the guy kept asking me to just give him his 50 back and he's not trying to cause trouble, why is this such a huge ordeal?
My manger (Tanya) got to the front in a few seconds, and I said to her, "Hey, Tanya, this customer meant to pay me with a five but he gave me a 50. Now he wants his 50 back I'm kinda confused. Can you help us out, here?" I tried to phrase it in a way to signal to her that I thought that the guy was trying to quick-change me without the guy knowing. Tanya then proceeded to do exactly what I knew she was going to do: she shut down the register and started counting it down.
The guy immediately realized what she was doing and said, "No, wait, you don't have to count the register! I seriously just want my 50 back! I paid with a 50, here's $50, I just want to swap for it!"
Tanya said calmly, "I understand, sir. But it's company policy that if there's any confusion at the register, the first step is to count the drawer to make sure that everything's in order. Then we'll sort this mess out." She then told me to go to the other register and help another customer who had just walked up and needed to be rung up, which I did because I really wanted to get away from those guys.
I don't know how the matter was finally put to rest; whether the guy actually got his 50 back or if Tanya just told him to take a hike. All I know is that when I saw those two walk out the door, I finished up with customer I was helping, walked over to Tanya, and said flatly, "Pretty sure that guy was trying to quick-change me."
Tanya smirked and said, "Yep, I'm pretty sure he was, too." By this time, one of my other co-workers had seen the commotion and came over to see what was going on, so I told both of them the full story, with Tanya laughing and agreeing when I pointed out all the red flags that I'd noticed, and her confirming with me that I had handled the situation exactly how one should when something like this happens. And apparently while she was counting down the drawer, the guy kept shoving the stack of bills at her and talking to her, saying that he was sorry that he was causing trouble and do we really have go through all this; can't you just give me my 50 back? In other words...he was trying to distract her while she was counting, just as he'd tried to distract me.
I got to go on my lunch break after that (good thing, too, since I was still feeling kinda jittery and needed to take some time to chill), and when I came back, my other co-worker was waiting for me and wanted to hear the full story, specifically, "How did you know he was trying to scam you?" I told her everything I've just written here, and she admired how I'd handled it, admitting that while she would have loved to watch all of this unfold, she was glad that it was me and not her in the situation, since she "probably would have just given him the 50 back; and then who knows what else he would have tried?"
On my second week of working at the store (which was about five months ago), to make a long story short, a quick-change artist scammed me out of $10 by confusing me with the no-wait-I-have-a-small-bill bit, snapping at me, and accusing me of being rude and unhelpful until I was so frazzled that I was very eager for him to leave and believed him when he said that I'd shortchanged him. Right after it happened, I was mad at myself for falling for the scam, but I was also angry that no one had prepared me for a situation like that and I hadn't had a clue what to do. Our training modules see fit to explain to us what to do in the case of an armed robbery, but absolutely no mention is made about quick-change artists...which, statistically speaking, a cashier is far more likely to face!
So, whenever I'm training a newbie on the register, I always find time to tell them that story so that they can learn from my mistake. But the good news is that now, I have another story to tell them: one wherein I see the scam coming, anticipate what the scammer's going to do, keep a clear head, don't back down, and turn the situation over to the manager if the would-be scammer won't give up...basically, I follow protocol and we all live happily ever after.
I probably won't ever see those people again; they'd have to be complete idiots to try to pull that stunt again at the same store. But there will be others like them, and I probably won't ever escape from that sort as long as I'm working in retail. So I'm relaying this story (including a clear guide of what to be wary of) to my co-workers and to Tumblr. If one person reads this and it helps them spot a quick-changer, it'll have been worth the time it took to type this out.
