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the thing about qui gon and rael is that like. rael thinks qui gon is the version of him who didn't fail, right? qui gon was the one who didn't have to kill his padawan in the end. qui gon was the one who didn't fuck up in a way that unmade him. and qui gon knows that. qui gon believes that. qui gon thinks that all that's standing between him and the utter destruction of what's left of rael is the bare fact that he wasn't the one to physically kill his padawan. rael for qui gon is a version of himself that he hates. and that's something he can't ever acknowledge

#something something golden child complex #at least the fuck up gets to admit there's something wrong with the system and they got screwed up because of it #you don't because the only thing keeping you together is the system #your entire identity is invested in it. and if you lose that then you're unmade #like. the daddy issues of it all #because the ways they construct the ways they relate to the world are purely through rules #rael in how he bucks them and qui gon in how he obeys them (not necessarily jedi rules. but HIS version of jedi rules)#and dooku being... dooku.#dooku being strict and unforgiving and doing it because he cares about his padawans! that's how he knows how to love!#he loves by pushing and pushing and pushing until the thing he loves is how he thinks it should be #you grow up with that and you start to have a voice in your head that's always telling you how you messed up again #and it starts out sounding like your master and then it just sounds like you #and suddenly you're middle aged and the man in front of you is everything the voice inside your head hates (and you know you ARE the man in #of you. you know the only thing separating you two is luck) so what can you do but despise him a little bit. almost as much as you envy him #what can you do but try to convince yourself it wasn't luck you escaped his fate. what can you do but try to convince yourself that you got #out because you're better #quirael #star wars #rael averross #qui gon jinn

Qui-Gon gets a shirt from Rael that says "Sexy Bitch" on it in sparkly pink cursive. He hides it away because he can't just throw out a gift, but he refuses to wear it.

At one point, he is forced to do so anyway for Laundry Reasons, only to find that SOMEONE went in and painstakingly hand-embroidered a solid red line through "Sexy" so that it's clearly meant to be just "Bitch."

(Sexy can still be seen, of course, because it's much more mean if onlookers know that someone has deliberately declared Qui-Gon to be Not Sexy, and just A Bitch.)

He still has to wear it in public. People take photos.

#it was Obi-Wan in a fit of pique of course #qui gon jinn #rael averross #quirael #pranks #sort of #novelty shirts #star wars #sw legends #Phoenix Talks

“Why did you ask for me?” Qui-Gon yelled after him. “So I could save you?”

His former friend chuckled. It broke Qui-Gon’s heart but he was used to being disappointed by Rael. He was used to disappointing him too.

“Who knows!” Rael said. “You certainly couldn’t.”

“How could you ask this of me?!” Qui-Gon asked. His misery bled into his voice but Rael just continued walking.

“Rael,” Qui-Gon said, pleaded, begged. “Don’t leave the Jedi because I was an idiot. Don’t let me ruin this for you.”

The deep, cynical laugh that left Rael’s throat hurt like getting impaled by a lightsaber.

“Your Padawan is still alive, my friend,” Rael said. “Start there.”

#star wars #Quirael #wip #Rael Averross #qui gon jinn #Angst

me: haha rael with dick piercings sexy

my brain: qui-gon plays with those with his tongue

me:

#help #spicy txt #quirael

QuiRael

what if the most irritating man you’ve ever met sublimated all his grief and guilt into being As Correct As Possible and what if the most pathetic man you’ve ever met sublimated all his grief and guilt into being As Slutty As Possible. and btw what if they also had similar generational trauma with a complete inability to even begin to approach it. and also they want to fuck. that’s quirael

#needless to say I think it’s hilarious #quirael #ask game responses #phoenixyfriend #star wars

did rael and qui gon fuck

yes

yes (this time with tongue)

Voting ended onMar 6, 2023

#polls #quirael #technically I guess #star wars

Rael wears Qui-Gon's shirts specifically because they're way too long so Everyone Knows

he thinks it makes him look a little sexy a little dangerous but in reality he looks like a victorian child in a nightgown. all he’s missing is a cap some slippers and a lamp

#star wars #asks #phoenixyfriend #rael averross #quirael

qui gon/rael, sith au (for one or both of them)?

[Give me a pairing and a word/phrase, and I'll write you a drabble]

Qui-Gon's eyes burn an acrid yellow, the color of sulfur, and the touch of them is caustic on Rael's skin.

"This isn't you," Rael says. It sounds brave, sounds true, sounds like everything Rael has always pretended to be and always fallen short of in the end, but it's not. It's not anything but denial, and that—that Rael has always excelled at.

Qui-Gon doesn't speak, but he doesn’t have to. He's always been good at ferreting out exactly what Rael was thinking before he knew it himself, at laying all of Rael out on display painfully and exactly, and the fact that he's being careful about it now—gentle, even though it's the last thing Rael deserves—just makes the agony of it worse.

This isn't Qui-Gon, Rael wants to think, but it's him in all the ways that matter any more. This isn't Qui-Gon, Rael wants to think, but the burning irises don't belie the laugh lines around his eyes, and the frown lines around his mouth, and the smell of green, growing things that seems to be ever present around him. This isn't Qui-Gon, Rael wants to think, but it is.

Like he can hear Rael's thoughts, see every decision laid out like clockwork, Qui-Gon breathes in, then out, and speaks.

"The Jedi took my padawan from me," he hisses, and his eyes burn brighter still, "the same way they took yours." He stretches out a hand, palms still covered in lightsaber callouses, nails still clipped short and square. "Join me," he says, and it sounds like the crackle of a pyre and the burn of smoke in Rael's lungs. "Join me, and make them pay."