and ever sir lancelot wept

echo, they/them, 24. arthuriana and misc. i do art, expect pin-ups and spicy content. dw and gallifrey audios stuff @narvin, nsfw blog @lancelotism [commissions open] [pins stickers prints]

[evardstentacles]

fuck everything. whats the media people ASSUME youre into. what are people surprised that you havent watched/played/whatever

[happybunnykat]

What if I start a trend called "No one nuts November" where everyone writes about their favorite characters having bad sex that sucks and isn't fun.

[happybunnykat]

Okay so I made a list of 30 (well, 29 actually) prompts I am releasing into the wild. The point of this is that at least one of the participants are not having a good time.

It has 30 prompts for November but feel free to write and post whenever, but please add the tag #No one nuts November or #NoonenutsNovember wherever you post. You do not have to @ or credit this blog if you use any of these prompts.

(Text version under the cut)

1. Safeword

2. Sub/dom drop

3. Loosing intrest halfway through

4. Trying something that doesn't work

5. Medical emergency (bonus points: it happens during bondage)

6. Bad/failed orgasm

7. Should have safeworded

8. "Wait, it's not supposed to hurt?"

9. "Let's never try that again."

10. Sex so bad they break up after

11. Realistic shower sex

12. Incompatible kinks

13. Threw up on that thang

14. Can't get hard/wet/aroused

15. Says wrong persons name during sex

16: ugly crying/overwhelmed

17: "I remembered you being better at this"/"I'm not impressed."/"I've had better."/"You're not hung chill"

18: Allergic reaction/cut off circulation

19. Dirty talk/degradation gets too real

20. Ignored/missed a safeword

21. Random horny confession that kills the mood for the other person/people

22. "No really, that's not going to fit."

23. Fire alarm goes off/interrupted by a third party

24. Pushing themselves into sex they aren't ready for

25. Sex toy gets stuck

26. Only one person having fun/agreeing to boring sex

27. Couple brings in a bad 3rd

28. Sex in a bad location

29. Sex so bad it kills you/one of the participants dies

30. Free day

[johnnycrass]

clap if you're a black hole of a person and have never been satisfied

[meanbuddhist]

ran out of things to run to or away from. what now

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[innerchildabortionclinic]

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

[gawayne]

Plinko Gold Rewards has been up in my spam box for years you wish you were me

[gawayne]

galahad

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Props to Murderbot for both having the most grammatically ambiguous common pronouns and not allowing anyone to use its name. MB was like “if you absolutely must talk about me in any capacity I’m going to make that as difficult as possible for you” and I respect that.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I started to watch an interesting-looking video about fight scenes in murderbot the other day#and the dude said ‘murderbot himself’ ten seconds in#I jumped back TWICE to check that this dude had just truly blatantly said that utter nonsense and not just ‘themself’ poorly pronounced#then closed the heck out of that video#‘themself’ would still have been wrong#but a slight effort would have been made#I’m still mad about this#how do you make a video about murderbot and understand it so poorly??? 

This one time I heard someone be like “Martha Wells should assign Murderbot a gender since it’s becoming so human” and my incandescent rage was halted only by my brain bluescreening as I tried to figure out which completely wrong part of that statement made me the angriest.

[iphigenesis]

in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)

[mathematikerin-freyja]

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

[the-punforgiven]

[enbyfication]

im not saying we shouldn't be calling out hypocrisy but i do think it's important to be aware of what i call the Two Different Guys Fallacy. and that's that whenever you're thinking to yourself, oh how come X group claim they want this thing but also support that other incompatible thing. take a moment to stop and consider whether it could just be Two Different Guys that think each thing

[judasisgayriot]

DJ dubcon hopes everyone in the club is having a good time tonight but he’s not going to check

[dykerikki]

crawls out of my hole that resembles the grave but isnt. #myholethatresemblesthegravebutisnt

[glitterypopcorn]

that? oh thats the mysterious bruise i got thursday , #mybruise

[actualized-animal]

Did You Learn?

you can lie on the floor in your home and the Soft Baby who lives there will approach you. this will increase your chance of contact with Nose Wet by 75%