i’ve been getting a lot of new followers on this blog lately, to whom i say, Welcome! -- especially if you’re a new fan of Good Omens! whether the tv show brought you in, or the book, or even the radio show, i hope you’re having a gay old time exploring all the wonderful content this fandom has churned out over the decades :)
i’ve finally gotten around to updating this blog’s little blurb thing so that it better reflects what i do with this blog these days. i don’t produce much original content anymore, but i continue to reblog GO meta and other content that i believe could be valuable to fic writers.
in the past, i made posts compiling collections of quotes from the Good Omens novel. i’ve finally added links to all those posts and some of my other original posts on my about page. i’m also pasting them below for ease:
Ghost Omens? Spirits and Possession
Crowley's Place in Hell's Hierarchy
Hellish Bureaucracy
Hell's and Heaven's Agents (are Crowley and Aziraphale the only ones on earth??)
What's in a Name? (arguing that names hold power in Good Omens)
Powers in Good Omens, Part 1: Angels and Demons
Powers in Good Omens, Part 2: The Antichrist
Powers in Good Omens, Part 3: The Horsepeople and Worldly Powers
Other Original Posts
Crowley's empathy for humanity vs. Hastur's and Ligur's cruelty
Do demons reproduce??
Re-stocking Aziraphale's bookshop
Genderfluid Aziraphale?
There are aliens in Good Omens. But are aliens natural to the GO universe?
Is it God or Death feeding the ducks near the book's end?
This is the second of three posts collecting all quotations that pertain to powers displayed by the characters of Good Omens. The first is here and discusses angels and demons (mainly Aziraphale and Crowley). This post discusses the powers evinced by the antichrist. The final post will discuss those of the horsepeople, various humans, and the Earth itself.
One of my main hopes for these posts is to make it easy for fic writers to understand how powers work in Good Omens.
I’ll provide brief commentary on some of the quotations, but feel free to add your own analyses!
Powers evinced by the Antichrist, Adam
The antichrist can manipulate the world and its objects, often unconsciously:
"Two-headed calves, signs in the sky, geese flying backwards, showers of fish. That sort of thing. The presence of the Antichrist affects the natural operation of causality" (p. 47) (Aziraphale talking about phenomena they can expect now that Armageddon is nigh)
"By now he should be trying to warp the world around him to his own desires, shaping it into his own image, that kind of stuff. Well, not actually trying. He'll do it without even knowing it" (p. 70)
" 'Something or someone loves this place. Loves every inch of it so powerfully that it shields and protects it. A deep-down, huge, fierce love. How can anything bad start here? How can the end of the world start in a place like this? ...It's a kids' paradise'" (Anathema speaking, p. 229)
Adam’s love for Tadfield is what keeps it so ideal -- the weather is always perfect, and it’s a safe little bubble from the rest of the world’s troubles and changes
"The Tadfield area didn't only have the kind of weather you could set your calendar by, it was also remarkably resistant to change. No one seemed to build new houses there. The population didn't seem to move much. There seemed to be more woods and hedges than you'd normally expect these days" (p. 226)
Lifts the gate at the airbase, no problem (p. 345)
The grand showoff with Satan never happens because Adam alters the world:
“He moved one hand around in a blurred half circle.... / Aziraphale and Crowley felt the world change. / There was no noise. There were no cracks. There was just that where there had been the beginnings of a volcano of Satanic power, there was just clearing smoke, and a car drawing slowly to a halt, its engine loud in the evening hush.” (p. 372)
Adam seems to possess some manner of charisma that other people react to, whether they realize it or not:
"The Them fell silent. Adam was always worth listening to. Deep in their hearts, the Them knew that they weren't a gang of four. They were a gang of three, which belonged to Adam. But if you wanted excitement, and interest, and crowded days, then every Then would prize a lowly position in Adam's gang above leadership in any other gang elsewhere" (pp. 133-134).
"Definitely something strange. A sort of laid-back intensity. You started to feel that if he was around, then everyone else, even the landscape, was just background" (p. 144)
Adam's aura is too big for Anathema to see, "for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can't see England" (p. 150)
Beyond charisma, Adam can control human beings’ actions -- he grows especially capable of doing so as Armageddon draws nearer:
"They could no more not follow Adam than fly; to try to resist the force marching them forward would simply result in multiply broken legs, and they'd still have to march" (p. 230)
He can make the Them do whatever he wants; he commands them to freeze and they become utterly immobile (p. 311)
“ ‘Go to sleep,’ said Adam. ‘You just go to sleep. All you soldiers here go to sleep. Then you won’t get hurt. You all just go to sleep now.’ / The lieutenant stared at him, his eyes trying to focus. Then he pitched forward.” (p. 348)
“ ‘Get them,’ said Adam, quietly. The slouch and slur was gone from his voice. It had strange harmonics. No one human could disobey a voice like that” (p. 354)
He is protected from other supernatural beings as well as from humans:
"'He won't show up. Not to us. Protective camouflage. He won't even know it, but his powers will keep him from occult forces'" (p. 111).
"If Anathema had been in full control of her own mind at that moment -- and no one around Adam was ever in full control of his or her own mind -- she'd have noticed that whenever she tried to think about him beyond a superficial level her thoughts slipped away like a duck off water" (p. 144)
The power that shields him makes it hard for Aziraphale to record his parents' number: "At the third name it broke its point. / 'Ah,' said Aziraphale...'I think that's the one'" (p. 177)
He seems to have grown into his powers; as Armageddon nears, they grow stronger:
"Subtle hints had not worked, however" (p. 136) -- Adam wants to borrow a "Spanish" sword, and doesn't unconsciously use his powers to just take it -- is this because they are not strong enough yet?
Parents telling him of Father Christmas: "If Adam had been in full possession of his powers in those days, the Youngs' Christmas would have been spoiled by the discovery of a dead fat man upside down in their central heating duct" (p. 147)
His imagination fuels his powers:
On human faith: "It may be worth noting that most human beings can rarely raise more than .3 of an alp (30 centi-alps). Adam believed things on a scale ranging from 2 through to 15,640 Everests" (p. 148 -- in a footnote)
Anathema's stories act as a catalyst to Adam initiating the strange happenings of the apocalypse: "He'd been starved of anything more occult than a Harvest Festival. Her words poured into his mind like water into a quire of blotting paper" (p. 147)
After reading about whales, rainforests, etc., his imagination effects these things
Creates new rainforests in South America (p. 230)
"He liked Anathema. ...when Adam liked someone he wanted to make them happy. / He wondered how he could make Anathema happy" (p. 149) -- this wish kickstarts all events -- to please her, the nuclear power station is emptied, energy replaced with a lemon drop, that night (p. 151)
After reading about UFOs being "g'lactic policemen," such UFOs show up and interrogate Newt (pp. 161, 203)
Gets Atlantis to rise up (pp. 163, 169)
After reading about Tibetan tunnels spanning the world, such tunnels come into existence (pp. 170, 208)
With Adam’s lead, the Them are able to use a sword, scales, and a crown made of twigs and string to destroy the Horsepeople (p. 355)
He possesses some sort of Insight into people’s psyches, has the power to create and to make things never have existed at all:
Power to create: "Don't worry about [your parents]," said Adam loftily. "I can make some new ones. There won't be any of this being in bed by half past nine, either" (p. 231)
“Adam turned and appeared to notice [Aziraphale and Crowley] for the first time. Crowley was not used to people identifying him so readily, but Adam stared at him as though Crowley’s entire life history was pasted inside the back of his skull and he, Adam, was reading it. For an instant he knew real terror. He’d always thought the sort he’d felt before was the genuine article, but that was mere abject fear beside this new sensation. Those Below could make you cease to exist by, well, hurting you in unbearable amounts, but this boy could not only make you cease to exist merely by thinking about it, but probably could arrange matters so that you had never existed at all” (p. 359)
Adam can see Aziraphale’s spirit possessing Tracy, and is able to return Aziraphale to a body of his own: “Adam’s gaze swept to Aziraphale. / ‘’Scuse me, why’re you two people?; said Adam. / ‘Well,’ said Aziraphale, ‘it’s a long—’ / ‘It’s not right, being two people,’ said Adam. ‘I reckon you’d better go back to being two sep’rate people.’ / There were no showy special effects. There was just Aziraphale, sitting next to Madame Tracy” (p. 359-360)
Speaking to Aziraphale and Crowley: “I know all about you two. Don’t you worry.” (p. 367)
Adam promises Aziraphale and Crowley that he won’t let anything bad happen to them -- and so it is.
He also can bring people back into existence: Adam brings Lisa Morrow, the telephone salesperson, back to life: she was killed by Hastur, but calls Anathema Device’s cottage the Sunday after Armageddon’t (p. 380)
Adam returns Aziraphale’s shop and Crowley’s Bentley back into existence, though the shop has some new books (p. 387)
As Armageddon nears, Adam’s selfhood seems to battle with powers beyond even him for control; he wins out, but it is a struggle:
"Something was happening inside his head. It was aching. Thoughts were arriving there without him having to think them. Something was saying, You can do something, Adam Young. You can make it all better. You can do anything you want. ...That's what you're here for. To make it all better" (p. 222)
"There was a shadow over the whole world. Storm clouds were building up in the north, the sunlight glowing yellow off them as though the sky had been painted by an enthusiastic amateur. / 'Seems to me it ought to be rolled up and started all over again,' said Adam. / That hadn't sounded like Adam's voice" (p. 223)
He doesn't seem fully in control of the power that moves through him: "Adam wasn't thinking at all. Something had opened in his mind and was aflame" (p. 231)
“ ‘I’m thinking,’ said Adam. / It was hard. The bit of his mind that he knew as himself was still there, but it was trying to stay afloat on a fountain of tumultuous darkness” (344)
Here is the passage in which his human selfhood wins out over whatever it was battling:
His body jerked. His head was thrown back. He raised his arms and pounded the sky with his fists.
His face twisted. The chalk floor cracked under his sneakers.
Adam opened his mouth and screamed. It was a sound that a mere mortal throat should not have been able to utter; it wound out of the quarry, mingled with the storm, caused the clouds to curdle into new and unpleasant shapes.
It went on and on.
It resounded around the universe, which is a good deal smaller than physicists believe. It rattled the celestial spheres.
It spoke of loss, and did not stop for a very long time.
And then it did.
Adam’s head tilted down again. His eyes opened.
Whatever had been standing in the old quarry before, Adam Young was standing there now. A more knowledgeable Adam Young, but Adam Young nevertheless. Possibly more of Adam Young than there had ever been before. (p. 312)
Adam has the power to wipe people’s memories:
“There’s been too much messin’ around anyway. But it seems to me everyone’s goin’ to be a lot happier if they forget about this. Not actually forget, just not remember exactly. An’ then we can go home” (p. 367)
Newt’s memory: “He’d never forget Saturday as long as he lived, if only he could remember what it was he wasn’t meant to forget” (p. 380)
Finally, there is the question about whether or not Adam kept his powers. The last few pages hint that he does indeed, though he is more careful with them now that he is aware of them. The passage in question also provides interesting insight into how he uses his powers:
Adam looked around, carefully. Then, even more carefully, he looked Up, and Down. And then Inside.
Then…
And now there was a large hole in the hedge—large enough for a dog to run through, and for a boy to squeeze through after him. And it was a hole that had always been there. (pp. 396-397)
As to whether he uses them after that summer is up in the air. We can trust, however, that the changes he’s wrought will last: Aziraphale and Crowley are safe as he promised; the world does not come to an end any time soon; and the Them are happy being carefree, fun-loving kids getting into trouble in non-supernatural-related ways.
I want to present a collection of all quotations I found in Good Omens that pertain to the powers displayed by its characters. This post will focus on powers evinced by Aziraphale, Crowley, and Hastur and Ligur; later on a second post will explore the powers of the horsepeople, humans, the antichrist and the Earth itself.
One of my main hopes for this post is to make it easy for fic writers to understand how powers work in Good Omens.
I’ll provide brief commentary on some of the quotations, but feel free to add your own analyses!
Powers evinced by Crowley
In many instances, Crowley’s powers are accompanied by hand movements. Do his powers require gestures? Or does it just make them come more easily? ...Or does he make them simply because of his flair for the dramatic?
Crowley "made a complicated gesture" and transforms the engine of a police car into something strange (p. 17)
Crowley "waved a hand vaguely towards the Bentley. The lights went out" (p. 26)
"Crowley glared at a long metallic streak on the Bentley's glossy paintwork and dimple in the bumper. The dimple popped back into shape. [Anathema’s] pain healed" (p. 92). (not a gesture, but a look)
"He snapped his fingers. She settled back in her chair, her face becoming a blank and amiable mask. / 'There was no need for that,' said Aziraphale. / ... / 'Sometimes the old ways are the best,' said Crowley" (p. 108)
This passage is not only an instance of a gesture Crowley uses but also his ability to manipulate people’s minds -- he can wipe or alter their memories, alter emotions, etc.
Stops himself from catching fire in Az’s burning shop: "his left trouser leg began to smolder; he stopped it with a glance" (p. 263)
Note that not all instances of Crowley’s powers come with gestures or other uses of body language, however -- instances of accidental or absentminded use of powers are also portrayed:
Crowley causes a duck to sink, presumably by mistake and without a hand movement, and says "Sorry, I was forgetting myself" (p. 45) -- it returns to the surface with no recorded gesture from him
Many instance of power in Good Omens involve a supernatural being’s expectations -- if such a being expects something to be a certain way or do a certain thing, it tends to comply:
"He checked his watch. It had never occurred to Crowley to change its battery, which had rotted away three years previously, but it still kept perfect time" (p. 77)
"It was perfectly possible to do ninety miles an hour down Oxford Street. You just arranged matters so that no one was in the way" (p. 87).
“There were double yellow no-parking lines in the narrow road outside Aziraphale's bookshop, but they obediently rolled back on themselves when the Bentley pulled in to the curb" (p. 114)
Crowley’s fridge's food never "went off," and it never needs to be defrosted or even plugged in (p. 247)
[The jeep] had a cassette player. This wasn’t general issue, even for American military vehicles, but Crowley automatically assumed that all vehicles he drove would have cassette players and therefore this one did, within seconds of his getting in” (p. 376)
Wishing and willing are also common phrases for power usage in the book:
Crowley tends to "wish" his clothes "into being from raw firmament" and Aziraphale finds this doesn't fit "moral standards" (p. 103)
Side note: why would doing this break with morality? Because he should be helping out a human clothing seller by buying from them instead? Or because creating something from nothing is God’s job, not an angel’s?
And of course we need a section for passages about the Bentley and how Crowley’s powers affect it:
The Bentley does not need Crowley to steer or even pay attention to get where he wants it to get; he reads in the driver’s seat “while the Bentley’s gearstick shifted itself down to third and the car accelerated around a fruit lorry” (p. 279)
The best theory regarding the Bentley that I can come up with is that it has a direct link into Crowley’s mind; for instance, as soon as the demon realizes he needs to head to Tadfield “the car change[s] direction suddenly” (p. 279) without any mention of him telling it to do so—it just knows that that is what he now wants. …This may have interesting implications for its tendency to play nothing but Queen…
Crowley has the power to hold the flaming Bentley together, fighting off the complete destruction that the M25 Odegra is trying to inflict on it (p. 309). However, doing so takes a toll, so his powers can sap his energy and do have limits:
“It should have fallen apart miles back. It was the effort of holding it together that was causing Crowley to grit his teeth, and the biospacial feedback that was causing the bright red eyes. That and the effort of having to remember not to start breathing” (p. 315)
“He wasn’t feeling very well. For the last thirty miles he had been imagining a ton of burning metal, rubber, and leather was a fully functioning automobile, and the Bentley had been resisting him fiercely. …Beside him the remains of the Bentley dropped suddenly onto its distorted wheel rims as he stopped imagining it had tires.” (p. 345)
Crowley seems to have a link into humans’ desires / emotions / thoughts:
He turns everyone's paintball guns at the combat course a real gun: " 'I don't see why you're so shocked,' said Crowley. 'He wanted a real gun. Every desire in his head was for a real gun'" (p. 105)
“He took a Jeep. No one stopped them.” -- Humans tend to do what Crowley expects them to do, or keep out of his way
Some miscellaneous quotations regarding Crowley’s powers:
Apparently Crowley is not limited to demonic expression of power: he is able to perform both "a quick temptation" AND "a standard brief moment of divine ecstasy" (p. 44); it is implied that Aziraphale can also do both.
Why is that if they have no free will? Their powers must be more or less the same, just utilized differently, yes? They are after all both "angel stock" (p. 44)
"[Crowley] toyed with the idea of a hurricane as an effective and incredibly stylish way of disposing of the queue of nannies that would certainly form" (p. 66) -- if he can cause a hurricane, he’s pretty darn powerful indeed.
After transforming into something maggot-covered, "Crowley restored himself to his favorite shape. / 'I hate having to do that,' he murmured. 'I'm always afraid I'll forget how to change back. And it can ruin a good suit'" (p. 102)
Is it really possible for him to forget, or is this simply a human-like insecurity he possesses?
“The right place was Tadfield. He was certain of that; partly from the book, partly from some other sense: in Crowley’s mental map of the world, Tadfield was throbbing like a migraine.” (p. 304)
Powers evinced by Aziraphale
Of course there are similarities between what Aziraphale does and Crowley does, but I’ve gathered all his power usages anyhow as they may help fic writers.
Aziraphale also sometimes uses gestures or expressions to prompt his powers:
"Aziraphale blinked. / A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle..." (p. 78)
"With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out" (p. 79)
He also uses words sometimes:
" 'Let there be light,' said Aziraphale. A pale blue glow filled the lane'" (p. 91)
" 'No bones broken.' It was a statement, not a hope; there had been a minor fracture, but Aziraphale couldn't resist an opportunity to do good" (p. 92)
"'In thirty seconds you will wake up,' said Aziraphale, to the entranced ex-nun. 'And you will have had a lovely dream about whatever you like best...'" (p. 110)
Also shows how he too can influence humans’ minds
Gets in touch with heaven with a chalk circle, candles, passages from the Cabala, and "the Words" (p. 241)
A ritualistic bit of power usage
Aziraphale can manipulate humans to the point that he can even possess them
As with Madame Tracy
It seems they retain their consciousness and ability to speak -- he shares the body with them, rather than taking it over utterly (p. 272)
Side note: I find it an interesting writer's choice to show the angel do the possessing, rather than the demon
His powers are often referred to as miracles:
About a stain, Crowley tells Az to "miracle it away" (p. 103)
Police are coming bc of gunshots: "'Stop them,' said Crowley. 'We need more time!' / 'Any more miracles and we'll really start getting noticed by Up There,' said Aziraphale. 'If you really want Gabriel or someone wondering why forty policemen have gone to sleep..." (p. 110)
Miscellaneous:
"Although Aziraphale was capable of doing things that could make the entire Magic Circle hand in their wands, he never applied what might be called his intrinsic powers to the practice of slight-of-hand conjuring" (p. 76)
Fixes a bicycle -- overdoes it: "Anathema was staring at her bicycle. She was almost certain it hadn't had a little saddlebag with a puncture repair kit when she set out" (p. 92)
Makes a motorbike that usually goes at the most 15 mph go at least 200 and fly while it does so (p. 319)
One of the most alarming demonstrations of power in the book is when Aziraphale makes a person vanish (makes me think of that Anthony boy in The Twilght Zone
Aziraphale snaps his fingers (or rather, Madame Tracy’s) and the sergeant at the airbase disappears. Crowley’s commentary makes it clear that he has this power as well; when Aziraphale worries that the man might have been sent somewhere dreadful, Crowley replies: “You just send ’em. Best not to worry about where they go” (p. 346).
Powers evinced by Hastur and Ligur
Hastur and Ligur arrive at Crowley's flat in a car that must be an illusion, poorly made -- wheels don't go round, aren't attached (p. 251)
Hastur dissolves the plastic of Crowley's mister "like rice paper" (254)
"Abandon[ing] their physical bodies...is a picnic for a demon. Demons aren't bound by the laws of physics. ...For those of Angel stock or demon breed, size, and shape, and composition, are simply options" (p. 257)
Hastur transforms into a hoard of maggots (p. 306)
Now that the obligatory cliché title is out of the way: names hold particular power in Good Omens. Some characters shy away from their given names and make new ones for themselves, like Crowley and Pepper. Some revel in their names, like Anathema. The naming of a being can affect its very core, as with the hellhound-turned-mutt Dog. Names in this novel have the power to define and the power to shape.
I decided to collect all pertinent instances of names and naming I could find in Good Omens and present them in a post.
Crawly is a certain demon’s original name, but he decides that it “was not him” and makes himself a new one. It is notable that he gives himself not only one name but a whole set, as is the human custom in the society he’s settled into: Anthony J. Crowley. A respectable name for the respectable human he tries to be.
Aziraphale, whose name is suitably angelic, uses pseudonyms to blend in a bit with humanity. Examples in the book include A. Ziraphale and Mr. Fell (p. 76). (And Madame Tracy calls him Mr. Aziraphale.) It is interesting to note that while Crowley changes his name permanently and has picked one that fits into humanity’s format, Aziraphale clearly prefers to go by his original name, and any pseudonyms he uses are based off this name – he’s clearly attached to it, possibly in an effort to maintain his angelic ties and/or appearances.
Edit: I forgot to mention the irony that one of Aziraphale’s names is Fell – doesn’t really fit an angel who has managed not to fall
Anathema was named by her mother, who thought it was a “lovely name for a girl” (p. 35). In a book all about turning religion (mainly Christianity) on its head, this is a significant name, and really befits a witch quite well. We can also think of her as sort of fated to be named Anathema, since Agnes Nutter wrote about her centuries previously in her book of prophecies (p. 36).
The commentary on surnames like Device and Nutter is also significant – these names take on meaning based on the inventions or personalities of their owners. [ableism in the name Nutter, sorry]
The four horsepeople’s names – War, Famine, Pollution, Death (and the retired Pestilence) – are of course significant, describing their functions on Earth.
The four human motorists who tag along with the horsepeople for a while also take a great stock in names, coming up with ones to describe themselves like “Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager” (pp. 284-285).
The Them are given their group title by the people they annoy, and it fits them well (p. 129).
On Wensley: “It was widely believed that he had once been christened Jeremy, but no one ever used the name, not even his parents, who called him Youngster. They did this in the subconscious hope that he might take the hint; Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of forty seven” (p. 129).
Pepper’s given first names are Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, having been named by her mother while she was living a hippy-like existence (p. 131). It is implied that some of Pepper’s fierceness comes from her need to protect herself from being teased for her name: “There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild,” and Pepper chooses to fight anyone who dares to laugh (p. 131).
I honestly don’t have anything to say about Brian’s name, it seems pretty nondescript – anyone have anything?
Adam is named by his (human) father with the assistance of a Satanic Nun, who was aiming for a suitably hellish name but couldn’t persuade Mr. Young to go with Damian or anything of that sort and so has to settle with a human known primarily for Falling. She notes that a name like Adam is “safe enough” (p. 40), but I’m not sure it is – if names have the power to shape in this book, naming the Antichrist after the first human is absolutely significant: the first Adam had a clean slate, a chance to make his own choices, his own mistakes. Christians often call Jesus the “second Adam,” so in this world I would say Adam Young is the third – not bound to any fate as both Heaven and Hell expect of him, but free to choose his own way. And he chooses Earth (fitting with the Hebrew wordplay for earth, adamah).
Quote that goes along with the previous: “That young Adam’s full of the Old Adam” (p. 143).
Dog’s name, simple as it is, is one of the most concrete examples in the book of the power of names. Crowley explains the importance of the name that the antichrist will give to the hellhound sent to him: “He’s supposed to name it himself. It’s very important that he names it himself. It gives it its purpose. It’ll be Killer, or Terror, or Stalks-by-Night, I expect” (p. 71) and “If he does name it, we’ve lost. He’ll have all his powers and Armageddon is just around the corner” (pp. 71-72).
Before Dog is named thus by Adam, he is described in the way one would expect a hellhound to be: “It was already growling, and the growl was a low, rumbling snarl of spring-coiled menace, the sort of growl that starts at the back of someone’s throat and ends up in someone else's” (p. 80).
Dog is aware of the importance of this event: “The hound waited. This was the moment. The Naming. This would give it its purpose, its function, its identity. … ‘I’ll call him Dog,’ said his Master, positively. 'It saves a lot of trouble, a name like that'” (p. 83)
When Adam names the hellhound, he is transformed utterly and permanently, physically and substantially: he shrinks down into a tiny little mutt, “brilliantly intelligent” and with “one funny ear that always looks inside out” (p. 83). His personality changes too: “Strange, though. It had always wanted to jump up at people, but, now, it realized against all expectation it wanted to wag its tail at the same time” (p. 84)
Dog adapts to his name and new role, and he absolutely does not want to go back to being a hellhound: “Just when I was getting the hang of rats [Dog thought]. Just when I’d nearly sorted out that bloody German Shepherd across the road. Now He’s going to end it and I’ll be back with the ole glowin’ eyes and chasin’ lost souls. What’s the sense in that? They don’t fight back, and there’s no taste to 'em…”
Finally, the names of Heaven and Hell themselves seem to carry power – both Aziraphale and Crowley avoid using them whenever possible:
“Any more miracles and we’ll really start getting noticed by Up There,” Aziraphale says (p. 110); and Crowley calls both Satan and God simply He/Him instead of saying their names (pp. 369, 375).
Is this a sort of Voldemort thing – say the name and they’ll listen in?
Are there any other names you would consider significant in Good Omens, or other roles you think names play?
I’ve posted about Hell’s ranking system, so now it’s time to discuss what Good Omens says about how Hell is run. Most of the book sets it up more like a bureaucracy than what one might traditionally think of Hell, but some hellish attributes are still alluded to -- think of The Office meeting Dante’s Inferno. Here are all the quotations I gathered that offer some insight into the inner workings of Hell, be it wacky or horrific or a mix of the two. (Heaven’s setup is also briefly explored near the end of this post.)
(Inefficient) Bureaucratic Features:
Hell uses a system of commendations to reward demons for a bad job well done (pp. 16, 38, and more)
Reports are filed in Hell: Crowley is “aware of the things that could happen if Hastur turned in an unfavorable report” (p. 21)
Hell must have one of those suggestion box things (and they usually ignore the suggestions): “Using electronics as a means of communication had been his idea and Below had, for once, taken it up” (p. 22)
Terms like “agent” and “superiors” are used (p. 43)
“The Authorities” don't care which demon does the work as long as it gets done (p. 44)
“You could never be certain when you were dealing with the bureaucrats of Hell. It was always possible that they had sent a gerbil instead of a dog"” (p. 77)
Is divided into various departments: “Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: 'Learn, guys'” (p. 247)
There is a body called the “Dark Council” (pp. 255, 307).
Crowley views being a demon like a necessary job: “Now, as Crowley would be the first to protest, most demons weren't deep down evil. In the great cosmic game they felt they occupied the same position as tax inspectors -- an unpopular job, maybe, but essential to the overall operation of the whole thing” (p. 253).
More Sinister Features
There are hellhounds in use, and human souls being tortured: “[Dog] had attempted to reduce [a cat] to cowering jelly by means of the usual glowing stare and deep-throated growl, which had always worked on the damned in the past” (p. 141).
There are much worse punishments in store for demons who fail at their job than just being fired -- Hastur does not look forward to “the prospect of having to report back to Hell, and having to explain...why he was not accompanied by Crowley. …On the plus side, however, at least he knew what Aziraphale’s message was. The knowledge could probably buy him his continued existence” (307)
Crowley is promised a particularly unpleasant punishment for screwing up the whole antichrist thing, being assured that his torture will be “A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE FOR ALL THE DAMNED OF HELL, CROWLEY. BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW RACKED WITH TORMENT, NO MATTER WHAT AGONIES THE LOWEST OF THE DAMNED ARE SUFFERING, CROWLEY, YOU WILL HAVE IT WORSE”
All of this does raise the question of who “invented” bureaucracy -- did Hell develop it over millennia and then decide it was a great (Bad) thing to spring on humans? Or did Hell run by other modes before humans developed bureaucracy and then adopted it? After all, humans are the more creative beings. OR I suppose each could have developed the concept separately.
Heaven also seems to be run as a bureaucracy, so perhaps they are the originators of the concept:
Heaven also uses a commendation system (p. 142)
God has a spokesperson, Metatron (p. 142)
And then there’s this passage referring to both Heaven and Hell:
Crowley gave [Aziraphale] a sideways look.
“Your people been in touch?” he said.
“No. Yours?”
“No.”
“I think they’re pretending it didn’t happen.”
“Mine too, I suppose. That’s bureaucracy for you.” (p. 387)
From all of these quotations combined, I would conclude that for humans, Hell is indeed the, y’know, hellish place of torment we see traditionally depicted, while for demons, it’s just a boring day at your standard ill-functioning office -- unless you screw up your job, of course. And I do wonder what happens to an angel who messes up one too many times...
