#r.o.

[missrobinswritings]

I'm gonna feel alone forever, but I'm getting used to the thought. Except late at night, so maybe I'm not.

“feb. 15th (alone forever)” by Hobo Johnson

[missrobinswritings]

He was unattainable, but my brain was never able to convince my heart of that until it was too late.

Excerpt from “Loving Isn’t Easy”

[missrobinswritings]

I can’t tell you verbally or even text you it so I’ll put it here for the world to see but with no name attached.

God, do I love you. There was something different about you when we first met. You didn’t even mean to be, right?

You hardly knew me yet you wanted to take care of me. You hardly knew me yet you cared so much.

My mind is jumbled trying to put this down on paper but I swear I’m trying to tell you. Because I love you.

I wish you would let me help when you’re feeling down because you’ve helped me so many times before but that’s your decision, and that’s okay just please know I’m here for you.

You helped me when I was ill. You were actually worried, right?

You made sure to be there when I left him, even if it was only for the first night. Everyone else left, but I knew you still cared.

You probably do it for everyone, but you make me feel so damn special. I don’t care how much shit you’ve done to me, or how many times my dumb ass has cried over you. I love you.

I don’t know if this is supposed to make me feel better or if it’s just me hoping one day you’ll see this but it needs to get out and I need you to know.

R, if you find this, it’s for you from me and most of these are probably about you.

God, do I love you.

if only you knew how much you meant to me

[missrobinswritings]

It was a mistake to get close to you. But, damn, you are by far my favorite mistake.

you told me I’d regret my decision when we first met.

[missrobinswritings]

Dear R.O.,

Today’s the first day I really thought about you. I thought about the way things used to be between us. I’m not sure if it’s hurt that I feel though. I’m not even sure if I’m upset.

I feel like maybe I should be, or maybe just the fact that I have every right to be upset with you is enough. But it’s your words that keep ricocheting off the inside of my skull. It’s nothing you would remember though. It’s just some of the little things that kept me going.

“I want to see you. I want to see how you look in the morning, your hair a mess, your eyes barely open. I want to see you cry. I want to see you smile. I want to get to know you better, and that’s the only way I know how.” I hadn’t thought about that for a month. Not until today.

I was so overjoyed at the time. It felt like there was finally a small chance that you did love me back. Now? Now I just feel kind of sick. Sure, hearing your name still gives me a handful of butterflies. But, God, what I wouldn’t do to have back the little bit of me you stole.

Of course, the part where you break my heart and someone else manages to break my heart a few weeks later isn’t your fault. I suppose that’s something I’m most bitter about. Maybe you should have stayed around a bit longer –– pulled harder at my heart. Sure I’d be a little more insane than I already am, but maybe I’d only have to go through the heartbreak once.

I did love you. I really, really did love you. I loved everything about you. I suppose a small part of me still does. But you were such a prick.

September 9th, 2018 @ 12:30AM

Excerpt from "Broken Love Letters” ~ Miss Robin

[missrobinswritings]

“I always loved to hear you laugh. You rarely did it, too, so the fact that you always laughed when you were with me made it that much more special. It was like you were actually happy for once, and I’m glad I got to be a part of it.”

for after I’m gone

[missrobinswritings]

I really do love you. I don't know how else to convince you. I love you.

my last attempt at telling you I love you

[missrobinswritings]

sometimes I wonder, do you think of me? even if we’re not talking, even if you’re mad at me?

do you think of me, when there’s nothing else to think of? when you need someone to talk to? when you want someone?

sometimes I wonder, am I even on your mind? am I significant to you? am I important to you?

you mean the world to me and it worries me to think maybe, just maybe you don’t ever think of me.

and maybe, just maybe, I have to learn to be okay with that.

you’re all I can think about