I'm considering cooking up an au called third time's the charm
Like Alastor had three husbands in life
Three men of various Problems to our poor trans man deer boy
Alastor isn't Out yet here
First Husband is basically Bill Cipher from that one ask I sent a while ago if you remember, but instead of it ending up as partners in crime and with Bill killing him, Bill had asked Alastor to marry him so he could get more inheritance from his family. They're old pals from childhood, and as much of a menace as Bill was, Alastor could usually keep him in check, both of them being rage baiting menaces to each other and keeping the other entertained. They worked well together to charm people on stage as a pair of performers, and Alastor slowly started to rise in stardom from his voice and charisma while Bill was pushed to the side on the piano be cause he came off to the public as *too much,* which he couldn't bring himself to allow. He ends up going manic and trying to sabotage Alastor's fledgling career by trying to damage his voice "by tragic accident," but he ends up killing himself by accident in a twist of fate. Alastor was devastated because to him it came out of nowhere, his best friend in the whole world, even closer to him than Mimzy, suddenly tried to hurt him in the middle of a show and then died because of it, it was a sudden and flashy death involving Bill's other friends, aka the budding cult/pyramid scheme he was trying to start.
After Bill's death his parents ensured Alastor's birth name and reputation would be smeared beyond recognition so Alastor changed himself up and got a new name and changed his hair and attire, focusing purely on radio so people wouldn't need to see his face and know who he was.
Second Husband (I call him Discount Facillier from Disney princess and the frog) proposed this marriage as a mutually beneficial agreement to get each other out of poverty by being business partners who share each other's financial burdens and lifts the other up. He practiced voodoo too but instead of being a white witch like Alastor, who sold protective charms, good luck talismans, and herbal remedies on the side of his Radio Host job, he practiced black magic and scammed people into giving up their souls, feeding them to his Friends On The Other Side. They lived together but slept in separate beds, until one fateful day during (what is the correct spelling of Mardi gras) where they got too drunk on moonshine and tumbled to bed together. Alastor had been so excited for his baby he'd been delirious with Joy. Husband 2 was not, and eventually did something Alastor couldn't forgive, but Alastor couldn't kill him for it despite the heartbreak, pain, and sorrow until the ritual Husband 2 prepared for ultimate power or whatever backfired on him because one of the core components was a sacrificed infant and he'd used one of his and Alastor's newborn twins.
Alastor gained the ability to sin, demonic shadowy powers, and his only living child now possessed a newly sentient shadow that they can swap places with.
Alastor kept his heart and mind extra guarded after that, he'd fallen for that scam of a marriage because he'd still been heartbroken by what his old friend tried to do to him and he's been so lonely and desperate for companionship after the whole mess that he'd accepted the first seemingly friendly hand held out to him.
The Third Husband is Guy Winters and he's the actually decent man that Alastor learns to love, and eventually sells his soul for, to heal him of his incurable Mold. Alastor stipulated in the Deal that Guy had to heal and survive long enough to raise their kid to adulthood, because Guy adores Alastor and Alastor's child and their weirdly sentient shadow.
Ooh I love this but also poor Alastor!
I like the idea that Alastor ended up able to sin not by making that deal but by breaking up a ritual, his light powers versus faux!cilier's dark ones - ooh, what if his friend on the other side was Roo/Rosie/Lilith/whoever? And Alastor interfering in that ritual got their attention, and that's why he was eventually able to contact Rosie and get Guy healed - I'm so happy he venetually meets guy and finds someone who will genuinely love him and is a good person! Fuck you Bill and faux!cilier! (Also faux!cilier was okay with the seperate beds but he did want Alastor, and not just for money and his power with white magic - so it wasn't a complete accident, and he sort of figured Alasto would accept it becoming a proper marriage after he got pregnant. He was happy when he found out it was twins. One to sacrifice, and one to baby trap his wife with.
Needless to say it backfired immensely!
You know what would be hilarious? Two things.
One, Alastor lives a bit longer, and sees Vincent Whittman on tv/meets him - and immediately clocks him as the same as Bill and absolutely the one who murdered the people above him to get those jobs. Alastor also either gets him caught, or reads him for filth and tells him it will never be enough and he's going to be stupid and get himself killed. Or both! And he out serial killers him while he's at it. Obsession activated.
And two, either Bill doing it to Vox or Vox doing it to Bill when they die and go to hell - I like the idea of Vox doing it to him and it working and HE gets some how damaged and can't perform anymore so he learns what it was like and this is what he was going to do to his best friend/wife/love of his life. Regret and suffer, fucker!
And Vox steals his television show, and sets his eyes on the most powerful sinner, the biggest entertainer, the Radio Demon, and he CANNOT kill him or ruin him or steal his listeners or his place argh!!!
So he tries to manipulate him instead and oh. Oh he knows that smile. And Alastor turns to him and says 'really, Vincent? You haven't changed a bit. Still so pathetic and jealous and unable to stand on your own.'
Alastor is the exact same as in canon except he wears his wedding ring.
