#ragnarok hate

[sweetdreamr]

if everyone in ragnarok had been in character

*Surtur scene*

Thor: Wait, is this a thing I do? Talk to myself? Have I always done this? It seems rather unhealthy.

Peter Parker: WOW, that’s judgey.

************************* *The Tragedy of Loki scene*

Loki as Odin, lounging around eating grapes: And that, my subjects, is how a total dipshit would impersonate me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have actual ruling to do.

**************************

*Tragedy of Loki Part 2*

Thor: Nothing will stop Mjolnir, even your face.

Loki as Odin: That would be terrifying if I didn’t know how to do this *fucking vanishes*

Thor: Fuck, I forgot he can do that.

**********************

Sidewalk scene:

*portal opens up underneath Loki*

Loki: *turns into a bird and flies above said portal*

Dr. Strange: Fuck, I forgot he can do that.

***********************

*Odin’s death scene*

Odin: I love you, my sons.

Thor: ....are you telling me, Father, that you made no plans in the event of your death? Which was inevitable, because as you yourself once said, “We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die.”????

Odin: *fucks off into glitter no that is seriously what happened*

Thor: That’s very pretty, Father, but I’m still angry.

Loki: Now I’m REALLY not sorry I sent him to Shady Pines.

**************************

*after elevator scene*

Thor: Hey, what’s that on your back?

Loki: Oh come on, that’s the oldest trick in the---

Thor: Never mind, it’s just your hair. *picks it off Loki’s shoulder*

Loki: For a moment I thought you were going to attach an obedience disc to my back and leave me convulsing for the Grandmaster to find and presumably melt.

Thor: That greatly offends me! Only a complete ass would do such a thing! The only way it could be worse is if I made a self-aggrandizing speech about heroism and change while engaging in an act of torture!

Loki: That would indeed be nonsensical. Nearly as bad as me plotting to betray you for mere coin. And confessing to it, before I am safely out of the way of your inevitable counterattack.

*both stare at the camera like on The Office*

**************************

*Hulk turns back into Bruce*

Bruce Banner: *completely freaking the fuck out* Wait, what do you mean I’ve been murdering slaves for the past to years? The whole reason I left Earth was to keep from hurting anyone else! Are we going to address this at all? At any point? Ever?

Thor: No, apparently we are to engage in ten minutes’ worth of jokes about the anal cavity of one called the Devil.

Bruce: .....wHAT?

****************************

*after being promoted to Executioner* Skurge: Um, my queen?

Hela: Yes?

Skurge: Why does the Goddess of Death need an Executioner? I mean, you can pretty much kill with a touch, right? You rule over the realm of the dead?

Hela: ...you know what? I’m honestly not sure.

Skurge: I mean, if having a fuckton of swords makes you the Goddess of Death, does that mean that if I  go to CostCo and get a cartload of drain cleaner, I’m the God of Death?

Hela: .....

*********************************

*Surtur destroys Asgard*

Korg: Whoops there goes your foundation.

Asgardians: Who the fuck is this asshole can we just grieve for our entire civilization in peace for ten seconds

[dhufflebee]

OH did you dislike Thor ragnarok too?? I felt like I was the only one. Everybody seemed to love it so much and think it was the best thing ever and I.... uh didn’t really like it ¯\_(ツ)_/ most of the jokes fell flat I mean- at least to me they did

oh yeah,, the more time passes and the more i think and read about it, the more i hate the movie and everyone involved in writing&directing it.

i mean, visually it was fine - cool even - but i really can’t excuse the atrocious way it was written in terms of character development, and i mean every single character. the new people fell flat; lady sif and the warriors three (the protagonist’s closest friends!) were offed without a reason, an explanation or even a line; thor and bruce were turned into a joke, and not even a funny one; whereas loki was treated like garbage and maliciously twisted into a whiny buffoon. most of all i can’t stand the infuriating arrogance of t*ika w*ititi who repeatedly admitted to not caring one ounce about either the story or the characters or the continuity, only focusing on cheap gags and meaningless and badly-done supposedly gotcha! moments.the (shakespearean) depth of the characters and relationships of the thor-verse that had been built since branagh’s thor and all through the dark world and the avengers movies was thrown out of the window, because some dude felt the inexplicable need to make a comic book movie without even reading the related comic books beforehand, turning some of the finest written characters of the mcu into man-children just for the sake of it.

i hate what they’ve turned these characters i love into, and i hate that we’re forced to have this horrid version of them shoved down our throats from now on. i just hate it. i miss the shakespearean complexity, i miss everyone that was forgotten or killed and that we’ll never have a chance to see again. i miss tom hiddleston acting his heart out and laying his soul bare to material that actually made sense and had depth.it pains me to say it but i’ve come to realize that i’m glad loki so heart-wrenchingly sacrificed himself in infinity war, because it means that(fingers crossed) the movies won’t be able to ruin him for me anymore. i just hope the tv show will do him justice - and i mean it in a kenneth branagh/joss whedon well written way.

[aurora-nerin]

Ragnarok stan: But... You can't NOT like Ragnarok, it's funny and smart and... The bifrost scene!

Me: I like it, in gifs

Ragnarok stan: What???

Me: Yes, I like it when there's no stupid plot and stupid dialogue.

[philosopherking1887]

In case you were wondering why I've been so bad about reading and/or writing fic lately, and instead have mostly been reblogging shitposts and liveblogging my rewatch of “Buffy” and “Angel,” with some occasional MCU-directed salt mixed in (and now Tumblr-directed salt; I started writing this post before the apocalypse), it's because I am So Done with Marvel.

I no longer accept either Ragnarok or Infinity War as canon. I will not read fics that take them as canon -- not even fix-it fics. (Or your super-dark rage fics, @illwynd. Do-overs are fair game, though, so @foundlingmother is in luck.) I regret that I wrote a few fics assuming Ragnarok as canon, before I realized what a horror show it is.

My imagination is firmly ensconced in my alternate universe in which Guillermo del Toro wrote and directed Ragnarok and Joss Whedon wrote and directed Infinity War (and its sequel/second part, as needed). Maybe Guillermo recast Charlie Hunnam as Thor once Hemsworth decided he was tired of pretending to be a dramatic actor, or maybe Hunnam was cast as Thor from the outset. (Part of the reason that Hemsworth was cast is that Whedon put in a good word for him, having worked with him on The Cabin in the Woods. Even the best creators make mistakes; Michelle Trachtenberg wasn't great as Dawn, either.) I'm not sure who wrote Civil War, but it wasn't those dimwitted hacks Markus and McFeely. Maybe it was Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tancharoen; they did a good job dealing with the moral quandaries of the Accords on “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Or hell, maybe it was Aaron Sorkin. This is my fantasy world. Go big or go home, amirite?

I'm not going to try to write any of these versions because I'm not Guillermo del Toro, Joss or Jed Whedon, or Aaron Sorkin. I have only very vague ideas of what these movies would be like. Maybe I've frozen time at the point where all of the writers/directors have been announced but the movies haven't come out. Maybe we have some stills. Hela actually has half a face and it looks awesome. Loki and Thanos have some meaningful interactions. Josh Brolin is very excited about all of their scenes and the fraught history revealed between them.

I'm not sure what stage of grief this is. The obvious choice would be Denial, but I think Denial was actually before I figured out just how terrible TR was (and was still writing fics acknowledging it). I've definitely been in Anger for most of the time since then, so I guess this must be some weird form of Bargaining? Like, in my mind I'm trying to trade the canon we have for the canon we should have had.

[sweetdreamr]

when i hear someone say taika waititi writes thor and loki really well

[sweetdreamr]

when thor actually fucking tortured loki in ragnarok:

[aurora-nerin]

"Thor: Ragnarok," but every time you wish you could punch Taika Waititi for ruining Thor franchise, it gets faster.

[sweetdreamr]

One GOOD thing about Thor: Ragnarok

I’m working on a potential graphic novel project featuring Norse mythology with a heavy emphasis on Loki’s family. I was afraid to do it for a long time, bc I didn’t think I’d be able to write Loki well.

After the character assassination fuckfest that was Thor: Ragnarok, however, I realized that there’s no possible way I could mess up any worse than that.