@autumnmobile12 is coming in with another *breathtaking* fanart piece for Rain. Once again, I am floored. It’s gorgeous and fits the fic so well! She can capture a vibe like no other, and I am incredibly in awe and appreciative that this series is resonating with her (and so many others). 😭 It’s the last thing I expected.
I’ll embed this in the chapter shortly. So, below is a little treat:
⛔ CW: Explicit Sexual Content (Masturbation), Trauma, Grief, Dissociation, Toxic Past Relationships, Body Memory, Sensory Flashback, Reference to Past Non-Con Dynamics, Maladaptive Coping, Self-Destruction, Heavy Emotional Themes, No Comfort
haunted!Hawks
Keigo tries to quiet the memories Dabi left behind, but the rain brings everything back.
A Rain snippet. (163 words) (read the oneshot here)
He traced it with his thumb slowly, the rough callus of his thumb dragged over the scar, dulled but not entirely bereft of sensation—a reminder that he was still capable of feeling. Some days, the scar felt like a malignant blight, threatening to consume him until, finally, what was left of him was trapped within biomass that resembled his skin. Others—normal and removed from the tone of 1980s dystopian anime—felt like a map of the battles he fought in the war, a catalogue of choices made.
A huffed laugh escaped his lips.
“Pretty bird,” Dabi’s rasp had once whispered against the shell of his ear.
“Pretty bird,” the voice rasped now, echoing in his own subconscious.
Once a source of validation and passion, the phrase now closed around his throat. Suffocating. A memory of blue flame and the warmth that came with it. A heat that spread from his fingertips, up his forearms, traced down his spine, and eventually, settled into his abdomen.
Summary: No fear is irrational to those who have to face it! Sometimes you have someone to help you through it and sometimes you face it alone. But no one will know how strong you are until you find yourself facing your fear. Sophie found that out in the sweetest way when she faced with her worst fear.
Pairing: Rain x Sophie (oc)
Phobia: Aquaphobia: Fear of water
Support My Work!
She was raised being a shy girl no one really could get close to because of her timid nature. It didn't mean she didn't care about other people; it just meant that growing up she was sheltered a lot as a kid. While being the youngest daughter in her family her parents made sure not to make the same mistakes they did with her older sister Abby and thus she involuntarily became the naive shy girl people picked on because of her lack of experience. She imagined if her parents could see her now they'd be disapproving all around of her lifestyle. Ever since she came to join the Clergy out of curiosity she'd opened up and made some friends; not many but enough that it made her life feel a little more full. Her golden goose was somehow catching the eye of one of Papa's ghouls. A choice for many reasons her parents wouldn't have approved of. So what would they say if they saw her lying in bed right now with a man she wasn't married to? Flip out and lock her in her gilded cage no doubt.
But she was learning not to care what other people thought; so what if she was cuddled up beneath piles of blankets and pillows with a man she wasn't married to? Did it honestly matter? Even if they weren't married it wasn't as if they were sleeping together in 'that' way!
Sophie's eyes roamed Rain's unmasked features as it lay inches away from her; oh yeah, her parents would freak out if she knew she had this sort of relationship with a man that she was not legally bonded to - they'd probably dig their own graves if they knew he wasn't even human. But did she care? Of course not. Rain may not be human but he sure did act more like one than her parents half the time; at least he could be talked to and listened to her.
Sophie smiled and reached up from beneath the warmth of the blanket to brush a dark strand of hair that was hanging in his face to better examine his features; smiling when she heard his little sleepy purr at the faint contact and burrowed closer to her. He was so sweet. Maybe not as shy and timid as her but if it wasn't for him she'd probably never had the courage to break out of her shell a little more day by day.
"What's the smile for?" Rain's voice mumbled without even looking at her and Sophie pulled her hand away quickly with a blush of embarrassment at being caught.
The water ghoul sought that retreating hand and placed it back on his face; placing a little kiss on her palm as his liquid blue eyes peeked open from beneath thick lashes to peer at her. At her expression, his lips curled up lazily and a long finger tapped her nose playfully.
"Nothing...it's nothing," Sophie replied shyly burying her face into the pillow trying to hide.
the ghoul gave a little hum and pulled her closer by her waist and cuddled her to his chest; nuzzling his nose against her temple content to just hold her. He never made her tell him things if she didn't want it - it was an easy relationship and for once Sophie felt seen and heard...cared for in a way no one had made her feel in a long long time.
"You're just pretty when you sleep." she finally piped up as she idly played with the ends of his wavy hair around his pointed ears; fascinated by their shape as she traced the pointed corner.
Rain let out a little chitter sound and smiled at her. "Pretty huh?"
Sophie blushed again and huffed closing her eyes while tucking her head beneath his chin; listening to his heartbeat beneath his white T-shirt. It was nice not having to be up for anything today - although she probably had to but she knew if she tried to leave Rain would just cling harder and warn anybody else away. Sister Imperator learned real quick despite some of the ghouls being even-tempered part of their decompression time involved stealing away their significant others...she didn't want to step between that; not out of moral respect but because she learned when the ghouls started showing their interest in some of the sisters it was for her own health not to withhold them from the ghouls (even before the ghouls had put claim to them). That lesson was learned when Dewdrop caused just a fit he was snapping at every sibling until Lily was called to leave her shop to calm the ghoul down.
"What's on your mind?" Sophie blinked back to reality and shrugged a shoulder.
"Just thinking about something," she murmured with a smile. "Just happy not to have to do chores today."
Rain snickered as he realized what she was talking about. "Ah, I see." he his voice was tinged with amusement.
"Hey, did you have anything planned for today? Or are we going to lay here all day?" Sophie suddenly piped up; her head raising to look up at the water ghoul who looked like he was falling back asleep.
"Hmm? Oh, no not really." he replied with a yawn before peeking his eyes open again. "Did you have any ideas?"
Sophie pursed her lips and sat up in bed; tugging the shirt she was wearing - one of his, over her knees as she did. "I was thinking...if you weren't too tired we could go on a picnic today! It's nice outside and I have been practicing cooking while you were away." she offered biting her lip as she glanced at him hopefully.
Rain sat up with her and ruffled his hair a bit before resting his head on her shoulder; long arms wrapping around her waist as he snuggled into her and she leaned back against the pillows to allow Rain to rest against her chest; smiling when he began purring like a little cat as he nuzzled into her.
"That sounds nice. Maybe we can invite Mountain and Avery too?"
"Oh. Well, I was thinking Mountain had something planned already for Avery. I wouldn't want to disturb them from their first day back together." she said thoughtfully. "But we can if you'd like the company?"
"Oh no, lilypad I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't want you all to myself!" Rain's head popped up and his eyes grew big. "I'd love to steal you away for a picnic!" he smiled at her and Sophie blushed with a smile on her face.
"Okay!"
"How about we go to the pond and do some swimming! I've missed the water." Rain added but when he looked back at Sophie her expression had fallen into one of nervousness.
"Hey....what is it?" Rain sat up and sat cross-legged beside her.
Sophie rubbed her face trying to smooth away the expression that made Rain worried and instead shot him a sheepish smile but wouldn't look him in the eyes; instead letting them focus on the soft fabric of his blanket in her lap.
"I..." she swallowed squeezing her eyes closed as she prepared herself for judgment. "I...I'm afraid of the water, Rain."
How stupid was that? Being afraid of water when she was dating a water ghoul! When she was younger she had nearly drowned in the lake on vacation when she was 8 and she'd never really recovered from that event. She could still shower just fine and she didn't mind rainstorms but when it came to bodies of water that submerged her made her panic.
"You're afraid of the water?" Rain repeated slowly and Sophie felt the tall tale signs of tears stinging behind her closed eyelids as she nodded.
"I know it's stupid and I probably should have told you sooner since you're a water ghoul and everything...water is part of your world and I'm just-"
A finger pressed to her rambling lips and she opened her eyes to look at Rain. He had a determined look on his face that softened as he studied her expression.
"Sophie..." he murmured rubbing her cheek. "It's okay if you're afraid of water, lilypad. It doesn't make me love you any less," he reassured her before reaching over to pull her up into his lap.
"But...I'd like it if you'd let me help you with your fears," he added after a moment.
Sophie's eyes widened when she realized what he'd met. "Rain I-" she felt her hands tremble thinking of getting in the water.
"Will you let me love?" he asked pressing his forehead against hers. "Will you let me help you face your fears?"
He was so sweet. But she was afraid that her fear of water was too big for him to tackle. But he wanted to try and she couldn't deny him that much. So she gave him a tiny nod and hugged his neck.
"It might be a big ask Rain..." she mumbled
"I'm up for a challenge." he shot her a little smile as he nudged her nose with his before placing a little kiss on the tip. "Why don't you get our picnic ready okay? I'll join you in the courtyard in a little bit." he offered.
Sophie nodded before climbing out of the bed and gathering her clothes together that she'd folded and sat on his desk the night before. She paused at the door as she opened it to leave before she looked back with a worried look on her face.
"Rain...a-are you sure about this?" she asked biting her lip.
The water ghoul smiled her a grin. "Only if you are."
She nodded after a moment of thinking it over before she slipped out the door wondering if she had just made a big mistake agreeing to this.
~
She wasn't sure about this but she'd promised Rain he could try and so she kept to her word. After an hour or so she'd met Rain in the courtyard as promised; holding onto a picnic blanket and a basket filled with goodies while he carried a bag filled with towels and a...pool noodle over his shoulder? It was actually an adorable image; especially since he'd wore nothing but a T-shirt and some swimming trunks instead of the usual black ghoul attire completed by a mask.
This made her feel a little better at his comfort around her; she too had taken the extra step into putting on something she could wear. It wasn't a swimsuit as she didn't go in a body of water deep enough to swim because of her phobia but she had borrowed a pair of shorts and a tank top to wear to go swimming in at least.
The walk to the pond was short and the setup was even shorter as they sat down on the picnic blanket with all the food surrounding them. Rain didn't eat much - the flick of his tail expressing his silent excitement to go swimming. Sophie was nervous and nibbled on her food; thankful that Rain didn't rush her and instead told her all about what had happened on tour while he was away. She'd listened intently giving him her full attention - finding that his stories helped distract her from the task ahead.
But before she knew it she was done with her food and Rain took notice of this as he finally looked over at her. His face softened a bit as he held up a hand.
"You ready lilypad?" he asked softly and Sophie tried to buy a little more time by putting items away so no bugs would get to their food.
"We don't have to do it if you don't want to honey you know I won't pressure-" Rain watched her movements but the sister shook her head quickly stopping him.
"It's okay...I have to face it, Rain...and if I'm going to do it...I want to do it with you." the girl replied taking a breath.
Rain seemed pleased by this answer as he rose from the blanket and held his hand out to her again which she took with a glance of trepidation at the water's edge that was just a few feet away from where they had been sitting.
She allowed her lover to pull her towards the water but stopped at its edge looking at the murky depths ahead of her and swallowing the panic starting to rise in her throat.
"Want me to get the pool noodle?" Rain offered from his spot knee-deep in the water.
She thought about it. Should she? He wouldn't blame her if she said yes. But could she trust an inanimate object to keep her safe if something happened? No, of course not. So she shook her head.
"No...Just...just you." she finally puffed out a breath.
Rain purred at this; happy she felt confident enough to allow him to help her through this. So he grabbed her hand and slowly led he one step and then another into the water; keenly watching for signs of panic as the water rose to her ankles, calves, and then paused at her knees - allowing her to take in the feel of the water. He loved the water - any sort of water. Whether it was a shower, a bathtub, or the pond. It was his element after all. He was keen to dive in and explore but not now; not when he had something more important that needed his attention, like his girlfriend who was afraid of water.
"You okay so far?" he asked squeezing her hand.
Sophie's eyes were closed tightly as she tried to breathe; the scent of the murky water was overpowering as much as the sound of water lapping at the bank causing a shiver of dread to roll up her spine but Rain's hand was warm and steady in hers reminding her she wasn't alone. So she braved it and gave him a nod signaling him she was okay.
And so he pressed on. Grabbing her other hand and slowly coaxed her deeper until the water reached her waist; her tanktop floating around her waist in the water causing a whimper to escape her tightly pressed lips from the feel of the water beyond the barrier of cloth.
"It's okay. You're doing so good, love. Almost there. Want to go a little further?" Rain asked studying her face not wanting to push her too far too quickly.
Sophie's hands didn't let go of him but instead left his hands to slither up his arms until she was gripping his shoulders for solid stability. She nodded with jerky movements; clearly not comfortable but to stubborn to back out now.
"Alright." Rain gripped her waist and took a few steps backward until the ground vanished from beneath his feet - pulling her with him. The minute the mushy ground beneath her vanished she let out a yelp and latched around his neck to hold on so she didn't drown as she felt the water reach up her chest and shoulders.
The water ghoul wrapped his arms around her waist and held her securely against him as he idly kicked the water to stay afloat; it was no hard feat for a water ghoul as the familiar feel of his webbed toes helping him tread the water even with the weight of another hanging off of him.
"It's alright, Soph. I got you. Breathe honey I'm right here." Rain murmured softly as he pressed a kiss to her head.
"Don't let me go Rain...please don't let me drown!"
The male chuckled against her hair and squeezed her as he swam a little further from the bank. "Never, lilypad. I got you. You're safe." he promised.
Sophie clung to him like her life depended on it; feeling more like a dead weight than anything else but her boyfriend had no problem with keeping her afloat. Despite the coolness of the water his body was solid and just slightly warmer than the water itself giving her a sense of stability as she dared to open her eyes a bit to look around.
They were a good swim from the shore bank so if anything were to happen she wouldn't be able to swim back so her life was literally in the hands of the water ghoul.
"How does it feel?" Rain asked craning his head to look at her face as he idly swam around in circles.
"I-I don't know...okay, I guess?" Sophie mumbled watching as the light reflected on the water's surface. "the reflections are pretty..."
he laughed nodding idly along. "Yeah they are." he agreed. "Think you'd like to try to keep yourself afloat or do you need a minute to get comfortable?" he added idly rubbing her sides comfortingly.
"No!" her grip tightened in a panic at the thought of not having him to support her.
"Shh... it's okay." Rain chittered softly. "That's alright. Maybe another time. Take all the time you need."
He idly swam around with her clinging to him like a little koala in the water but he could tell after some time her body was less rigid than before and her eyes were soft as she watched the water as they swam. She was relaxing and getting comfortable; a good sign for Rain. But he wouldn't push too far today so instead he tapped her leg to gain her attention.
"You ready to head back to land?" he asked studying the water the light was swimming over her features from the reflection of sunlight from the water's surface.
Sophie hummed softly and nuzzled into his neck. "No...Can we stay like this awhile longer?" she murmured a bit bashful now feeling a blush heat her cheeks.
"Water is not too scary now is it?" Rain laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close.
"Oh, it's terrifying!" Sophie was quick to disagree before her expression softened into a smile. "But...I-I supposed it's not half bad when you're here with me." she confessed - daring to let go with one arm in favor of dragging her hand through the water.
Rain felt a spark of appreciation for the girl; so scared but yet so brave to face it. He reached up to tip her head towards him and press a sweet kiss to her lips. "That makes me happy." he said softly nuzzling against her cheek.
"My strong brave girl."
Sophie flushed and buried her face against his neck but her lips were curved up into a smile as she let Rain hold her and the water lull her. They stayed like that for a few more hours until the sun was starting to set and Sophie's fingertips looked like prunes before Rain finally swam them back to shore. They lay out there to dry on the blanket while lying under the fading light and the beginning of the stars until the chilling air of night began to make Sophie shiver.
"Hey, how about we go inside and take a bath to warm up before a movie night hmm?" Rain asked
Sophie smiled up at him from where she lay beside him and nodded. "Yeah...I'd like that." she finally agreed.
As they began to pack up and start their walk back towards the abbey and ghouls wing Sophie couldn't help but hug his arm close to her and smile up at him with a soft look of adoration.
"Hey Rain?" she spoke up.
"Yes, droplet?"
"Thank you for today. It...It meant a lot to me. For what you did for me today." she confessed
Rain looked down at her and his lips curled into the sweetest smile ever as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Anytime, my love."
Title: Rain
Word count: 1,638
Genre: Romance, Angst, Tragedy (?)
Status: WIP
Part: one, two
---
It was the same as this very day, raining hard, the roads are dark even though it’s just as early as 10:30 in the morning due to the heavy rain clouds that are blocking the sun. A boy, wearing a worn out plaid shirt is running towards a waiting shed, to wait for the bus, which passes by this very shed at exactly 10:45.
Judging from his attire and a bulky book about engineering and mechanics, he’s an engineering student. An almost wet one, considering his broken umbrella which probably was not broken when he left his home but due to today’s strong winds ruined it for him along the way.
He obviously looks distressed. Of course who wouldn’t after getting your expensive engineering book wet because your umbrella chose the right time to get folded and bent because of a simple gust of wind? Not to mention the book is not his, he just borrowed the thing from the library and he’s half a day past the deadline in returning it.
What a time to be alive.
Not to mention the income he gets from his part-time job is not enough for him to last a month, and looking at the book’s condition, he’ll be obliged to pay for the damage and even if he begged for the librarian, he doubts he’ll forgive him after violating the library policy and to top it off with a damaged good.
Now he’s having problems thinking about his next course of action. Staying away from the library is not a choice, since they can easily page him through the campus’ intercom, or call him directly, since the library has the privilege to access their student’s data base to record all the books they checked-in and out, as well as their log-in information. It is also handy when situations like these happen but for him right now, he really wished it’s not.
Although he did apply for another part-time, he doubts that’ll solve his problem at all. He applied because he needs to increase his monthly budget, because really, coming from a poor family from the country and moving in the city by yourself for college is something they can’t afford. He had to have a job to support himself because he don’t want to burden his parents any more than this.
He’ll have an interview by 12 noon and he really needs this job so he might as well come in early and study on the way there than stay at home and do his business there and risk the possibility of arriving late (traffics are common in the way there and he really don’t want to get in one when he have so little time left).
10:35 AM. His watch says. He sighs from his nose and looks at the way where his bus is supposed to come from and he visibly jumps.
Right beside him, is a girl---she’s dripping wet---but that’s not the case---she’s bloody, blood so thick, he have no idea where it comes from really, but its smeared mostly on her face, it’s so thick, again he notices, and it’s not drying yet maybe because of the rain or maybe it’s just recent, the blood is sticking on her hair and its making her hair stick to her face, and it gives her an eerie look, and he swore he felt his heart jump out of his heart upon sighting her---how come he never noticed her when he arrived here? That’s just really impossible because of the blood---!
He doesn’t know what made him do it but he did anyway.
“Are you okay?!” He screamed at her direction. He’s not sure if he screamed because he’s worried or scared or just so she can hear him clearly because of the rain, or maybe all of them.
The girl did not pay him any attention though.
He’s really worried, if you want to know.
10:43 AM. She’s still not responding and there’s blood on her; thick, thick blood and he have no idea where it even came from and oh my God now that he’s looking at her more closely her clothes are torn---her sleeves are loose as if someone pulled on the fabric too hard, the strap of her bra is already down by her upper arm and it also looks too loose and the blood on her shorts, its scaring him more now. Oh my God please no, he’s chanting, praying in his head, please just this once he hopes he’s wrong. There must be some other explanation as to why she’s looking like this, right?
10:45 AM. His bus is finally here.
He looks at the girl.
Then at the bus.
The next one comes at 11:15 and that’s not really convenient because of the traffic now and his interview is at exactly 12. His employer will definitely not hire him anymore. First impressions are important after all.
He thinks, he thinks, he thinks.
He silently apologizes for the girl because he has his own life to take care of right now. He chooses the bus.
Or so his mind told him.
10:50 AM. The bus leaves.
He’s still in the shed.
There goes his life now, he mulls over.
He looks at her again, notices how she tries to warm herself by crossing her arms over her chest, and rubs the both sides of her arms by her palms.
She’s not going to get any warmer like that, he thinks.
He pulls out his jacket from his bag, its thick, for fighting off the cold at days like these (and also the air-conditioning set up in max in their lecture halls). He throws it around her shoulders and notices her not give any signs of surprise or any response for that matter.
He taps her cautiously on the shoulder, because if his deductions are right, then she might curl up on herself because of a touch, but she didn’t when he did, and that’s saying something.
“It’s cold out here. If you want, I can help you clean up. That’s the least I can do and nothing more. I swear.” He stutters at first, but he made sure not to at the end. He can’t stutter at the end, and he said it firmly.
The girl nods timidly as she wraps herself tighter on his jacket.
He started pulling her along back to his apartment (apologizing because they are getting wet, because his umbrella is broken and now the book is wet again and he really don’t care anymore) by the sleeve of his jacket. He’s still cautious in touching her, he wants to help, not worsen her.
---
He unlocks his door, enters first and waits for her to get in herself. He’s not saying anything other than apologizing for the mess because hi s small table is filled with papers, papers, papers and some emptied cup noodles. He had exams for the last week and today is his rest day which explains why he’s just about to return the book to the library this afternoon, after his job interview, which won’t be happening anymore and he don’t blame the girl, it’s all on his, really.
He never bothered locking the door and he heads straight into his room, digs into the boxes that he never bothered to open all because he don’t have much space in his apartment. Actually he only have a bedroom, living room and a small bathroom---he’s lucky enough to get a bathroom and a living room (!) judging from his low, low budget.
“Aha!” He exclaims in triumph after a minute of digging into the first box because he immediately found what he’s looking for without bothering to open the other three and runs back to the living room.
He sees the girl sitting by the table, looking at him expectantly, his jacket securely wrapped around her----she really is cold.
He looks at her again, fast, because he don’t want to make her uncomfortable as much as possible.
“Um…” he starts.
She looked more ragged than he thought, despite the jacket that’s supposed to hide the rest of her clothes from him (the jacket is up to her thighs).
“Maybe you want to take a bath first…?” He cautiously asks, then adds a quick “I’ll lend you some clean clothes, though their kind of big---shirt and pants! Also a clean towel, and I’ll leave! I’ll be back after thirty minutes though---I’ll leave the door open! I’ll be outside the building so call me out if something happens! And don’t worry about someone entering, no one locks their doors her e anyway---its burglar free!” and runs back to his room to look for a shirt and some clean, decent pants (he wears his pants for three to four days because wearing them once sounds too conservative for him, his only explanation is that “no one goes out of their way to smell someone’s pants anyway”), which luckily he have three right now.
He picks his most comfortable (favorite) shirt and pants and a belt, just in case, also a towel, fresh from the laundry.
He runs back to the living room and shoves the papers and cups away from the table, who cares if his papers will all get mixed up, this is more important at the moment. He stacks the items in front of her and tells her to head to the bathroom.
After a quick direction from him about how it works, he ran out of his apartment before the girl got the chance to go to the bathroom. She must see him leave the premises before she heads to the bathroom is what he thinks.
