Small Wonders As September meanders between the seasons, there are still small wonders to be found... #meadowbeauty #iphonemacro #rainflowers #wildflowers #smallwonders #afterthestorm #heyihadtosnapthat #pondside (at Snow Camp, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn4h_jqgHl0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k1xq85z49ty
I donât want to say goodbye, goodbye means ending.
Camellia was sat cross-legged at the riverbank. Jia resting her head in her lap, fiddling with the hem of Camelliaâs Blouse. Jia stared up at her girlfriendâs face while she looked that the stars, trembling in the night sky. The occasional breeze caught Camelliaâs hair, sending her curls bouncing side wards; annoyed sheâd shake her head pushing it back out of her face. Jia laughed, Camelliaâs exasperation was funny. She was beautiful and it filled her with so much joy.
I donât want this to end.
âStop laughing at me⌠my hair wonât cooperate okayâ Camellia complained, maybe she needed to cut it, her curls only ever seemed to grow outward and not down. Her complaint was lighthearted followed by a smile.
âYou look adorable when youâre flustered like thatâ Jia laughed, full and heartily. Camellia responded by poking Jiaâs cheek, repeatedly with just enough force to make it irritating but not painful. Jia continued to laugh trying to bat Camelliaâs prodding fingers away.
But when do I ever get what I want.
The two continued to laugh, grabbing each otherâs hands and pushing against each other. The tension in Jiaâs arms lessened for the brief second, causing Camellia to be sent flying forward by her own force. The two clutching hands rolled down the bank together, closer to the riverâs edge. Jia landed on top of Camellia, head on her chest⌠she laid there still. She could hear Camelliaâs heartbeat, her breathâs slowing after the laughter they shared, rolling down the hill. Jia closed her eyes and basked in her warmth -- she was so warm. Camellia placed a hand on Jiaâs back, in-between where her wings usually where. Jia was too tired and weak to maintain their integrity.
Maybe itâs because you were one of the first to ever see me.
Jia couldnât help but cry, she didnât want to cry. Camellia gasped at Jiaâs emotional response.
The first to ever offer me a hand and ask if I was okay,
âHey⌠are you crying? Are you okay? Well⌠obviously youâre not okay if youâre crying.â Camellia stumbled over her words, biting her lip. She was terrible at comforting people and she knew it. Camellia stroked Jiaâs head, until Jia looked up, eyes wide, full of tears. âDid you hurt yourself? Was I too rough? Iâm sorry.â
The first to ever tell me that I was important.
âI donât want to leave again⌠I hate I have to leave you like this, a year together then another apart.â Jia sobbed, she gripped Camelliaâs shoulders, her face above hers. Camellia knew how much she hated leaving, not only because she had to leave Camellia but because of why she had to leave. Jia hated being a Leannan Sidhe, she hated having to be some egotistical idiotâs muse, pandering to him⌠only to drink his blood dry when the monstrosity of his greed finally took over.
âI love you, youâll be fine.â Camellia responded, she gave a small smile and wiped a tear from Jiaâs cheek. Camellia wanted to cry too. Seeing Jia cry, so full of dread and not being able to fix it was the most excruciating thing sheâd ever experience. Camellia usually offered emotional support by offering solutions, for this there were no solutions.
âItâs not about me!â
Can that be called love at first sight? Because thatâs what Iâm going to call it.
Camellia lowered her hand at Jiaâs yell, she bit her lip harder this time. At a loss of what to say. Jia let out a shaky sigh and stopped looking Camellia in the eye for a moment.
You were beautiful.
âCamellia one day Iâm going to leave and when I come back⌠youâll have forgotten me.â Jia sniffled, her voice was low, if the two hadnât been so close Camellia wouldnât have heard her. Camellia gently grabbed Jiaâs chin and turned her to face her again.
âThat is the most absurd and impossible thing Iâve ever heard in my life⌠Iâd sooner forget my left arm than you.â Camellia was concerned, out of all the anxieties sheâd listened to from Jia⌠this had never been one of them. âDid something happen? Why an earth would you ever think that?â Jia noticed Camelliaâs eyes becoming glossy, Jia sniffed and tried to force her tears back.
You are beautiful.
I donât want it to end like this.
Jia let go of Camelliaâs shoulders, got up from on top of her and sat on the bank, she stared at the small tremors of water caused by the agitated fish. âJia, please talk to me⌠we always talk, we never leave anything unsaid.â Camellia sat up, next to her, placing her hand on top of Jiaâs. Her expression was firm and determined, partly because she was trying to figure out what could have caused Jiaâs outburst but also because she was trying to hold back her own sadness.
âI was being silly, the night air and hunger has me all dizzy. But I want to say Iâm sorry but also thank you, thank you for always being there for me but sorry for all the trouble thatâs caused you.â Jia explained, Camellia did the only thing she could think to do in that moment. She kissed her, so deeply and so urgently, although Jia kissed back Camellia could tell she was hesitant. There was something she wasnât telling her.
Camellia opened her eyes, her hands were holding Jiaâs cheeks, their noses were still pressed against each other. Jiaâs eyes were closed.
âYou donât have to thank me for being in love with you, you never have to thank someone for loving you. Iâve never expected you to be thankful, guilty or sorry for anything ever because if I didnât want to do any of this I wouldnât have done it. Things have been complicated between us but we always fix things, thereâs nothing we canât fix together. Of course, it hurts me when you leave but because I worry about you, because I want to protect you and help you solve all the problems you canât solve on your own. I feel so powerless that I canât fix this.â
But the prerequisite of a beginning is an eventual ending.
âDo you remember when I first met you, that day was almost one of the worst days of my life but then, you made it the best.â Camellia explained, Jia opened her eyes and saw now that it was Camellia who was crying. âYou always make everyday the bestâŚâ Camellia gave an awkward, laugh in-between tears and pulled away, so their faces werenât touching anymore.
She rolled up the sleeve of her blouse to reveal her forearm and the matching tattoo they had, a tulip, which was glowing a vibrant pink. Jia revealed her forearm and held it next to hers, also pink. Love, trust, safety⌠one of the most positive and beautiful of the spectrum.
Camellia had infused the ink of these tattoos with magic, so the tattoo would glow or change colour depending on the otherâs emotions. Camelliaâs signified how Jia was feeling and vice versa. Camellia beamed at Jia, Jia let out a sigh of content and she clasped Camelliaâs hand. âSo lets make a promise like we always do!â Camellia mused.
Jia felt the shudders of Camelliaâs magic in her hand, an almond branch formed where the two had been joined. Jia holding one end and Camellia holding the other. Camellia had told Jia that almond meant promises. Whenever they needed to make an important promise Camellia would make an almond branch, they would hold it together, recite the promise and then they would put it in a vase. The vase contained branches full of all the promises they made, if the promise was broken the leaves on the branch would die, if the promise was kept they would remain green. The result was an odd bundle of leafy sticks in Camelliaâs kitchen, not even one had died yet.
Even though I hate endings, it must be as beautiful as the beginning.
âJia?â
âCamellia?â
But an ending as beautiful as you when we first met?
âI promise to not forget you while youâre gone.â
Now thatâs going to be difficult.
Jia could see the pink on her arm fading.
âAnd I promise to kiss you for the longest I ever have when I get backâ Jia let go of the branch and Camellia put it in her bag to put it in the vase when she got back.
âLonger than this?â Camellia kissed Jia again, gentler this time, all Jiaâs previous hesitations dropped. The river, the ground, the night sky all faded into nothingness with this one kiss. Jia wanted to focus all her attention and remaining energy into it, so she couldnât forget it, not a single thought or sensation. So, she could vividly remember it whenever she needed to.
This kiss may be our last, but it was the best.
No one has ever seen me first, I always need to show or offer myself to them. I donât know what I did to deserve it, but you offered yourself to me instead. I didnât have to make you aware of me, you acknowledged my existence immediately. Because of this I tried so desperately to force myself into your world, a world I have no business being in. You let me in and Iâll always be thankful for that.
You wonât accept it, but my nature is a danger to you. This is me being thankful, no longer derailing your life and keeping you safe.
This was never going to go our way.
Your world is almost as lovely as you are, you deserve to live in it, not teeter on the edge of my dark and pitiful one.
Camellia unlocked the door of her cottage, her feet ached, sometimes she hated living on the outskirts of the village. Too much walking. Come to think of it she couldnât even remember why she went out in the first place.
She turned on the light, the house was silent and cold, as always. Camellia sighed, taking off her shoes. She hated coming back to nothing, no wonder she was always out, always travelling, working in some town or city far from here. Offering her services as a travelling witch, anything to not have to come back to emptiness and to be reminded of how horribly lonely she really was. How wretched, dark and pitiful her world truly was.
Her familiar Dion in the form of a cat jumped up on the kitchen counter to greet her.
âYouâve been a long time where have you been?â He asked, grooming his paws. She paused untying her boot laces for a second. Where had she been?
âWalking I guess.â She shrugged since she could think of no other explanation. She kicked her boot off and picked up Dion, making her way to her bedroom. She stopped in her tracks for a second, when she caught something odd in the corner of her eye.
A vase, full of dead almond branches. What an earth was that there for?
So, Iâm erasing myself entirely from your world and staying in my own.
Flowers in the rain... well... just before the rain to be exact!đ Shot these lovely pink flowers just before I entered the church to attend mass. #floralshotsđ¸ #rainflowers #samsungA8đ¸ (at St. Therese of the Child Jesus Parish - Dagupan City) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce8UZXJOr7yb07mk71q_v2hECn-cTzNDdAe4PY0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
