World Ego Awareness Day (WEAD), observed annually on May 11th, is a global initiative established in 2018 to raise awareness about the negative impacts of egoism, narcissism, and unchecked ego on individuals and society. It aims to promote mindfulness, humility, and self-reflection to reduce human suffering caused by, as explained on the Ego Awareness Movement site -
Idk if I am but i might be 🇮🇹 idk atp but i told my counsellor abt my e*tung and I’m slowly getting better can you make a fic w Kimi antonelli abt reader w an ed and helping her during a race weekend because when I’m nervous I can’t eat xx grazie amore btw I loooovveee ur fics
Hey! First of all, I'm so so proud of you for opening up and speaking about it and making the progress, even if it's slowly, it's still something! you're still getting better everyday, even if it's baby steps, they're still steps x
I have emoji anons: 🪩 🇮🇹 🇬🇧. I think one person has both 🇮🇹 🇬🇧 and I know who they are so I'll just give them 🇬🇧 so I differentiate you guys.
Enjoy the fic! if there is anything you didn't like about part, just put another request in and I'm happy to write another one!
Pairings: KA12 x gf!reader
Warnings: ED, recovery
WC: 1.3K
If anyone is struggling, my DMs are always open but please always talk to someone. I will link some resources at the end!
Library // Join the taglist!
The first thing Kimi noticed wasn't that you looked tired.
It wasn't the fain shadows beneath your eyes, or the way your shoulders seemed a little tighter than they had been when you'd landed on Thursday afternoon. It wasn't even that you'd been unusually quiet during breakfast, answering his questions with absent-minded smiled before looking back out over the paddock through the glass windows of the Mercedes hospitality suite.
It was the cup of tea.
Still full.
Completely untouched.
He'd learned, over the two years you'd been together, that the little things usually told him more than the obvious ones ever could.
'You've gone cold," he said softly as he sat beside you.
You blinked, turning towards him.
"Hm?"
"The tea."
"Oh."
You looked down at the mug as though. you'd forgotten it existed.
"I didn't realise."
"You haven't touched it."
A small shrug lifted one shoulder.
"I've been distracted."
Kimi nodded, accepting the answer for what it was instead of questioning it. Around the two of you, engineers drifted in and out with laptops tucked under their arms while mechanics laughed over coffee before heading to the garage. Somewhere downstairs, tyres were already being wheeled through the paddock.
Race weekends always had their own rhythm.
Normally you loved it.
Normally you were in the garage with your camera before the first practice session recording a vlog for YouTube, chatting with mechanics, joking with team members who had become close friends over the years.
Today you simply watched everyone else move.
"You slept badly," Kimi observed.
"A little."
"And you've been anxious since yesterday."
This time you didn't answer.
That silence was the answer alone.
He reached across the table, threading his fingers through yours without another word. His thumb rubbed slow circles across the back of your hand.
"I'll bw alright," you murmured eventually.
"I know."
"You don't have to worry."
"I'm always going to worry a little."
Your lips curved into a tiny smile.
"I know."
The waitress arrived a few moments later with small fresh pastries, fruit and yoghurt.
Kimi thanked her.
You thanked her too.
Neither of you reached for anything.
He noticed your eyes flick over the plate before settling back on your tea.
Your jaw tightened.
The familiar look settled across your face.
Kimi had seen it before.
Not once.
Not twice.
Dozens of times.
Whenever your anxiety climbed high enough, your appetite disappeared entirely.
It wasn't stubbornness.
It wasn't dieting.
It wasn't something you chose.
Your stomach simply closed itself off, leaving you feeling nauseous at the mere thought of eating.
The first time he'd witnessed it had been during your first travelling together. You'd made it all the way to Sunday afternoon in Singapore before admitting you'd barely eaten since Friday morning.
He had never forgotten that expression.
Nor had he forgotten promising himself that he would never become another person telling you to 'just eat'.
Instead, he'd asked what helped.
You'd admitted you didn't really know.
So together, over months rather than days, you'd started figuring it out.
Small portions.
Plain food.
No pressure.
No guilt if you couldn't manage it.
Sometimes it worked.
Sometimes it didn't.
This weekend, judging by the untouched breakfast in front of you, wasn't going to one of the easy ones.
Kimi picked up a pastry while continuing a conversation about the weather forecast as though nothing unusual was happening.
Rain was possible on Sunday.
The wind had shifted overnight.
The track temperature was expected to climb during qualifying.
He wasn't talking because the weather interested him.
He was talking because silence gave your anxiety too much room to grow.
Eventually he broke the pastry in half and placed a half on your plate.
No comment.
No expectation.
Simply there.
You stared at it for several seconds.
"I don't think I can."
"I know."
"I'm not hungry."
"I know."
"My stomach feels..."
"Tight?"
You nodded.
"And if I try to eat it feels like I'll be sick."
"I know that feeling."
"You don't."
"No," he corrected gently. "I don't know exactly how it feels. But I know that's what it feels like for you."
You shoulders loosened slightly.
Being understood, even imperfectly, always seemed to help.
"I hate this."
"I know."
"I feel ridiculous."
Kimi shook his head immediately.
"I've never thought that."
"But everyone else just..."
"They don't matter."
You looked at him.
"They're not living in your body."
The words settled somewhere deep inside your chest.
He wasn't trying to convince you that eating was easy.
He wasn't pretending your anxiety could be solved by positive thinking.
He was simply sitting beside you in it.
After another minute you reached for the pastry.
Your hand trembled.
Kimi deliberately looked away, asking one go the engineers a question about the morning briefing as though he hadn't noticed.
You appreciated that.
You hated feeling watched.
The first bite was tiny.
Barely enough to count.
It still made your stomach twist.
You swallowed hard before setting the pastry back down.
"I'm done."
Kimi looked back.
"You managed one bite."
"It doesn't feel like enough."
"It doesn't have to be."
You frowned.
"I mean that."
His voice remained calm.
"Today isn't about finishing breakfast. Today is about giving your body something."
You stared at the pastry.
It feels like falling.
He squeezed you knee beneath the table.
"I don't measure success by how much you eat."
"What do you measure it by?"
"The fact you keep trying."
Something in your throat tightened.
Most people saw an untouched plate.
Kimi saw the effort it took to pick up the fork in the first place.
That difference meant everything.
The morning passed in its usual blur of meetings and garage visits. Kimi became absorbed with engineers discussing tyre degradation while you wandered slowly through the paddock with your camera hanging from your shoulder.
You took photographs because the routine was comforting.
Focus.
Adjust.
Click.
Repeat.
For a little while, the anxiety faded into the background.
Until you realised your hands were beginning to shake again.
You hadn't eaten anything else.
You'd barely touched your water bottle.
The familiar dizziness crept in quietly.
You sat on an empty equipment case behind the garage, pressing your palms together to stop them trembling.
"I wondered where you'd disappeared to."
"I needed five minutes."
"Okay."
You leaned your head against him.
"I tried."
"I know."
"I wanted to eat more."
"I know."
"But every time I looked at it..."
"You felt sick."
You laughed weakly.
"You know me too well."
"I've had a lot of practice."
For several minutes neither of you spoke.
Cars screamed down the pit lane.
Mechanics hurried past carrying equipment.
The enter paddock moved around the two of you.
Kimi reached into his bag.
"I brought something."
You gave him a suspicious look.
"If it's another lecture..."
"It's not."
He held out a small packet of plain crackers.
"They've helped before."
You looked at them.
"I don't know if I can."
"You don't have to decide now."
He placed them beside you instead of into your hand.
"They'll still be there in ten minutes."
You smiled faintly.
"You always make it feel less impossible."
He kissed your forehead.
"I can't fix it."
"I know."
"But I can sit with you for the rest of the afternoon."
The words stayed with you for the rest of the afternoon.
Not because they made the anxiety disappear.
It didn't.
Recovery wasn't like that.
There would be weekends where breakfast remained untouched.
Weekends where two crackers felt like climbing a mountain.
There would be tears in total rooms after qualifying, moments of frustration when your body refused to cooperate, and mornings where Kimi quietly replace your cold cup of tea with a hot one simply because he knew the gesture mattered.
Neither of you expected miracles anymore.
You had learned to celebrate the smallest victories.
One bite.
One sip.
One step at a time.
And somehow, with Kimi beside you, those tiny victories slowly began to add up to something that looked a little more like hope.
Links to help:
Beating eating disorders (UK)
NHS - has info on treatment, getting help and signs of ED
hey all !! normally i wouldn't engage in something like this on my blog, but considering that it's happening to a friend of mine, i felt i had an obligation to speak out. sorry for clogging up the tags/interrupting your scrolling 😭
tldr: @/hxveneru has stolen the works of my good friend @lowkeyren not once, but twice and is deleting any comments calling them out.
edit: they've changed their user to @/yneri; if you've blocked them already, this doesn't really matter bc they're still blocked :) reminder to not engage with them, they're just looking for attention. block and ignore!
i know. fun stuff. proof is under the cut.
please note that i'm doing this of my own accord, and the only involvement ren has had in this post is me asking for permission to post it since, well, it's an issue mainly affecting her.
also i should say beforehand but. don't ??? send them death threats please 😭 we are better than that. i'm mainly making this to spread awareness about the issue :)
reblogs are appreciated to spread awareness.
first stolen work is ren's oneshot "drunk words, sober thoughts!" for aventurine here.
as you can see, it was posted on June 15th, a little over two months before hxveneru posted their own oneshot.
for reference. hxveneru is a new blog and all of their posts are in the month of september, proven here via their archive.
and here's the two oneshots side by side, with ren's on the left and the stolen one on the right.
notice how the oneshots are exactly word-for-word except for the title and synopsis? even the author's note is exactly the same. obviously i can't fit the whole thing here, but this should be enough.
honestly it's. i have to laugh at the audacity to just copy and paste like hello???
and here's the second work that was copied, with hxveneru's "diff scenarios w hsr men" taking from drabbles from two of ren's works.
these are the two fics that were stolen from, with their dates attached. both are posted far before september. links are here and here if you want to double check..
now let's look at the drabbles that were - once again, copy and pasted. first is blade's, again with ren on the left and the stolen one on the right (ren's is circled bc they didn't take the hcs part).
and here is the sunday drabble that was stolen.
so far, those are the only works posted on their blog. i was also informed that they had apparently stolen from @/exuvianen's post here but deleted it, but since said post is deleted, we don't have evidence for that so take it with a grain of salt.
but yeah! just wanted to let yall know out there, especially since the plagiarized works have already gained some traction and have 100+ notes on them. i've talked about them vaguely on my blog before, so if this sounds familiar, yeah this is them.
plagiarism is shitty, i shouldn't have to say that. it is not that hard to just write your own stuff. i know validation and publicity make you feel good, but stealing someone else's hard work is not the way to go. writers already have enough to deal with. just don't do it. what's the point of getting validation if it's not even your work?
again, don't send death threats, please. that's a bit far, and they likely won't even do anything since the plagiarizer has already been called out before and this was their response.
not a single ounce of remorse or shame. people have gotten way too comfortable on here.
also "who the hell is ren anyway" bestie you blocked her 😭😭 and ignored her ask to you. that's why ren can't dm her to sort it out privately btw, in case you were wondering.
anyways! that's all i have to say, thanks for sticking around this long and have a great rest of your day. hxveneru if you see this. hi ig ?? id say smth to you but i doubt you'd take it seriously so i won't <3
