i chose to go with klance bc,,how could i not lol ;;
i went all out with the sad on this one and made myself sad aljsdfjlfepsgvj sorry hope you like it!
from these prompts
**** Do you know how much it hurts?
How much it hurts to have doors slammed to your face, to try and speak up but have no one listen?To be so used to silence that the sound of your own voice is unrecognisable?
Keith does.He knows what it’s like to build up walls, out of fear, out of necessity, out of both.
He knows what it’s like to be so choked up in your own emotions that the place in your chest where your heart is supposed to be disintegrates into million pieces, and you think this is it, this is the last I’ll ever feel but then each piece pulsates with unbeknown sorrow and it hurts so much more than it did before.
It took him years upon years to even realise he had surrounded himself with towering boulders, to feel the asphyxiating feeling of isolation creep up on him.
Shiro was the first one to point it out to him.
Two years his senior and his mentor in university, he was the first friend Keith had made, the first one to show him things inside his chest weren’t as put together as he willed them to be.
Soon enough there came more people, more reasons for him to start looking for a way through.
There was Pidge, a friend form the mechanical engineering course that was held in the building across Keith’s.
Then came Hunk, Pidge’s classmate and friend, and soon Keith’s too.
And then came Lance.
Lance, with a mouth that run a million times faster than Keith’s ears could carry, with eyes like sparks in the ocean and skin like molten chocolate, a grin so big it could melt sugar cubes in seconds.
Yet the minute Keith locked eyes with Lance he knew;
He knew there were walls not much different than his surrounding the boy.
It’s like looking through a distorted mirror; the reflection isn’t quite the same, but god, is it similar.
And the more he got to know Lance, the more similar he realised they were.
They were alike in the way they looked down when no one was looking at them.In the way they cowered away at the question, at the soft ‘how are you’s said in that tone that makes you wince with the sympathy it reeks.
Similar in the glances they stole to each other, their cheeks reddening when their gazes met during class.
Similar in the way they both tried to talk to one another at the same time and stopped, nudging for each other to go first before Keith, or was it Lance? Before both of them had enough and moved closer, lips touching and hands finding their way in Keith’s hair, Keith’s arms wrapping around Lance’s waist.
They were similar.
Keith just hoped those similarities wouldn’t be their downfall.
*****
It’s not that Keith was good.
He was better, that’s for sure.
Having someone that he loved, someone that loved him back; having friends he could turn to, people that cherished him as much as he cherished them, it helped, helped them both.
But that didn’t mean there weren’t bad days.
There were days when Lance wouldn’t meet his eyes, when his words were few and scarce, when Lance would force that damn smile on his lips and Keith would feel his tears swell, begging him to not force himself, not in front of Keith.
There were days when Keith would shy away from any and all contact, when he’d refuse to leave his room, when he’d bark out words like they were venom, when Lance would try and reason with him before tugging at his hair with frustration and biting back words he knew would do Keith no good, coming back with Keith’s favourite coffee and a kiss if Keith wanted it.
And there were days like this.Days where they both said a word too many, when they felt their walls crack and hurriedly tried to put them back up in fear of the unknown that resided outside them, when they wanted to help each other but couldn’t, they couldn’t help themselves either.
Today was like this.
It took Keith hours to gather up the courage to even knock on Lance’s bedroom door, his dorm room just across the hall from Keith’s.
He didn’t remember how the fight started; he knew he woke up with that familiar numbness in his chest, knowing already that the day wasn’t off to a good start.He knew that Lance’s eyes were dull when he bid him good morning with a smirk, knew their friends noticed it too, looking at them both with furrowed brows.
He knew he shouldn’t have tried to push himself, nor to push Lance.
It started off with an off-handed comment that escalated, a fight that went too far, that had Keith’s voice breaking and Lance’s eyes brimming with tears.
For hours Keith stayed hurled up in his room, the curtains shut and his head on his chin, tears falling freely in the dark, the cracks on his walls laughing at him.
“See? This is what you get when you become vulnerable. This is what you get when you don’t build us up higher” they’d scream.
Keith would think they were right; were the tears on his cheeks not proof enough?
But there was something nudging at him, something that said otherwise, a voice coloured blue and taking him back to one of his and Lance’s first conversations after they started dating.
“Do you think”, Lance asked, hand linked to Keith’s “do you think there’s a way for us to heal each other?”
Keith sighed.
“I don’t know. Do you?”
Lance smiled, head cocking.
“No. But I think we’ll be able to heal ourselves. Maybe not entirely, and maybe we’ll fall apart more times than we’d like; we’ll probably end up covered in band-aids and suture wounds and scars, but we can get through it.”
He brought their interlinked hands up and in front of Keith’s face.
“We can.”
It took every ounce of effort Keith could master to take the steps to Lance’s room.It took each ounce and more to knock on the door.
There was silence before he knocked again.
Silence again.
With a new worry in his gut, he tried the door handle, finding it unlocked.
Gently he pried the door open, calling out Lance’s name.
The sight he was greeted with was a mirror image of his own.
Lance was there, the room dimly lit by a string of fairy lights, Lance curled in the corner with his face hidden over his knees.
“Lance-“
“Get out. Get out.” He crowed, shoulders shaking.
Keith sighed, crossing his arms and shaking the thoughts out of his head.
“Look, I’m-I’m sorry.”
That made Lance look up, his baby blues hazed by the tears, reddened from crying out.
“No! No dammit, I don’t-I don’t want you to apologise you shouldn’t be apologising-“
Keith halted, letting Lance sigh and groan as he run a hand through his hair.
“We had an argument. We were both at fault, you shouldn’t be the one apologising.”
Keith closed the door behind him, coming to sit across of Lance.
“We both should be apologising.”
Lance nodded, rubbing furiously at his eyes before Keith took a hold of his hands, pulling them away from his already reddened face.
“I don’t-I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want you to feel like you need to be the one to put in all the effort while I’m here bawling my eyes out.”
“But I’m not. Remember last month? You were stressed and snapped at me and we fought then you sincerely apologised and I forgave you. Because that’s how this works.”
Lance sniffled.
“I want to help you break walls down. I don’t want to be the reason they come back.” Lance sighed.
“And so do I. I want..I want us to be okay. To help each other.”
They stayed in silence for a while, Keith’s hands gently holding Lance’s wrists, Lance’s breaths returning to normal.
“Do you think we’re only going to end up hurting one another?”
Keith thought back to that conversation, the one that brought a tender smile to his lips.
“I think we’ll fight. And we’ll make up. And sometimes we’ll fight again, but in the long run? We’ll let ourselves heal. And it won’t be ideal; but it’ll be better.”
Another beat of silence.Lance tugged his hands free, bringing them up to cup Keith’s face.
“I’m sorry too. I don’t like it when we fight.”
Keith nodded.
“Me too.”
He leaned into the touch, bringing his forehead to touch Lance’s.
“We’ll make it. We’ll pull through together, just like before.”
Lance hummed in agreement, bridging the distance to kiss Keith.
They couldn’t break each other’s walls, cure each others wounds.
But they could be there for one another as they forged hammers and tore the boulders down themselves.
And maybe, in the long run; they could work on making a bridge together.Even if they were both certain the bridge was already waiting for them to meet in the middle.
