#random irl post

[fangirleaconmigo]

I went to the book club tonight at the local wine bar. Remember when I talked about how weird and right wing my town is? Well I’ve gone a few times now and there’s a guy there that I was like…this is my kind of person. He is into sci-fi fantasy too and seemed feminist and smart and funny. I was so happy to meet him plus he was cute.

I was like wait, shit, am I gonna hit on a man? In this economy? (Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve done that? 😅) but I rly liked him so look I’m technically bi and I’m ready. (I should make a t-shirt that says that)

And we talked a bunch more tonight and turns out he is quite gay and the good thing about being bi and me is like … that is just as good. We will not be fucking, but you will be coming to game night and it will be glorious.

[penumbramewtwos]

Exotic cereals in an international store ^^

I want to try lucky charms!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa

[silver-san-arts]

Well would you look at this. A belated birthday/Christmas gift from my parents. Seems like I got better refernece material now for future art.

[lowkey-loki245]

... fuck, I'm shipping some gay elves. Whatever, they're cute.

[fangirleaconmigo]

Just so you all know, ya girl is being very brave tonight.

I have always wanted to learn to play DND. Always. But I’ve never had anyone to teach me. I’ve never known anyone who plays locally.

There have been times when really lovely people have offered to teach me online, but I just have this mental block learning things remotely. I want to learn in real life.

But I recently saw that a local geek group is holding sessions to teach people. So I’m going to a meet up with COMPLETE STRANGERS (at a pizza shop) on our local Geek group on meetup. I went on the rsvp tab and saw it’s all men, so I almost cancelled. Pls do not judge me for that.

But I gathered my strength and I’m still going because I’m very brave and because hey there’s a slight chance they aren’t all cishet boys who are gonna be very annoyed by the way I fandom.

I’m wearing my Michonne t shirt and my witcher necklace. Here we go. I might make some local nerd friends.

(My friends are all so lovely but none of them are nerds to the degree that I am and I also have always wanted local nerds)

I’M GONNA FINALLY LEARN TO PLAY DND FOLKS

[fangirleaconmigo]

So I’ve been a bit absent. Putting a ‘read more’ because shit in my life has gotten very real very quickly.

One of my younger sisters went to urgent care with stomach discomfort last Tuesday. It turned out that she had a huge mass in her pelvis, (18x25 cm) and our lives were plunged into a black hole of fear.

In the past week/weekend, she’s gotten blood tests and referrals for more scans. Every test result is more ominous and terrifying than the last. It is definitely ovarian cancer and she will need a major surgery and we don’t know what else.

In one day, I moved her completely into my house. She gave notice on hers. We are trying to find foster care for her cats while she is in treatment because she can’t care for them during, and neither can I.

We still haven’t had a proper prognosis and treatment plan. That will be today, I hope. I am about to drive her to her first actual appointment with a real oncologist.

It’s early and I’m lying awake in my bed. I haven’t slept much in the past weeks. I go to sleep googling ovarian cancer, and I wake up and google ovarian cancer, and I feel like an entire house is crushing me. I can barely breathe. I have to go fetal position for a few minutes sometimes during the day to get through it.

We need some hope today. We need some good news. We need, at the very minimum, a plan for her care. Something to focus on.

Please keep us in your thoughts and send us some love and good will. She is either in shock or being very brave but she could get hopeful, or devastating news today (or more terrifying limbo) and I don’t know where that will leave us.

I won’t try to tell you how much my sister means to me. But I will say that we grew up together in an isolated family with shitty, monstrous, abusive parents and it fused us together in profound ways. I raised her to the extent that a child can raise another child. (It’s like that John Mulaney joke where he said his babysitter was so young, it was like a horse caring for a dog lol)

We are both super sci-fi fantasy nerds. I watch tv with her probably three to four nights a week, and we can talk for LITERAL HOURS about the intricacies of the writing and the characters on the various franchises. We usually agree, but we probably woke the neighbors with our argument about who the best Doctor Who companion was.

We work at the same hospital and share an office one day a week, and the people in the hall probably hear our elaborate Star Wars or MCU theories.

I know better than to get her started about certain things, but no matter what I do, every Thanksgiving she gives an entire speech about how the LOTR movie adaptations failed Gimli, son of Gloin.

We’ve been to Supernatural cons (we’ve both written SPN fic), and SDCC together many times. Actually, we went to ECCC together this year, so @spacecores and @roguepyrola met her and can attest to the fact that she is a mouthy, down to earth, absolutely brilliant, funny, foul mouthed, nerdy ass bitch.

I NEED HER, ok, I FUCKIN NEED HER.

So if you meditate, pray, send intentions, I don’t care what it is, I need it today. Her appointment is in about three hours and we need some hope.

Thanks for reading, friends. ♥️ I know this isn’t fandom related but we’re all real life human beings here with real lives, and that’s what is happening in mine.

[fangirleaconmigo]

So two years ago or so I was like “I’m gonna learn to draw.” And I posted about it on here.

But guys. It’s hard 😅. I was trying to learn to draw people and my body proportions were so crazy. And what I wanted was to sit on my bed or couch and night and just fiddle around and do it to relax. But it was like I had to watch a two hour video each time just to do all the math to get proportion close to right. And I couldn’t just draw through it. It made me crazy seeing the results.

But babes. I don’t wanna watch a video every time I draw. But I also couldn’t just let my drawings me what they were.

But I’ve come back to try again with two ideas.

1) Trace until I can do it from muscle memory.

So I bought a cheap lightbox and printed a bunch of stuff: free activity sheets, anatomy studies, and portraits of lots of people whose faces I enjoy.

And I’m just gonna sit around and trace for fun while I watch tv or listen to books.

And 2)

Do this with friends.

I have a friend who is a fantastic artist, like she did this for school and her home is full of beautiful paintings she did herself. And she said she really really misses doing art with people.

So after work on Saturdays I’m just swinging by her place and playing.

First she’s teaching me watercolor. Here’s my first two “lessons” (us eating goodies playing around with paint and shooting the shit).

I named my chameleon Boop. My friend says I’m a natural and I’m sure she’s totally unbiased. Ha.

[fangirleaconmigo]

My birthday is Tuesday so I've taken Mon and Tues off and I am DETERMINED to spend three days (Sun Mon Tues) JUST writing and doing art.

I solemnly swear that I will not work in my yard or spend all day cleaning. I will not do any favors or give any rides.

For three days I will relax goddamnit. I will just be creative and have a good time. I will write, draw, paint, and take naps and walks with my dogs.

I will tell everyone I am busy and make no plans and maybe get a bit of mental health back for my birthday. Weeeee