Dear Diary.
After Emma was brought back from the Ak'abians, she started a new journal. It wasn't much like a normal journal: rather than describing events, she wrote stories and poems that reflected some aspect of what she was feeling. The stories and poems often featured people she knew. Very little of it was pleasant. Quite a lot of it was pornographic. Ryan packed Emma's journals with the rest of the things she left behind, and after some internal struggle, flipped through them. He didn't do more than that for her earlier journals, but he's read the prose and poetry journal cover to cover. Repeatedly. Especially the pornographic stories that feature himself. That's what he masturbates most often to, these days. He's considered one of those fantasies for when he makes his donation for Darla's insemination (some of them, he's reread so many times that he doesn't need to anymore, he has them memorized, he's made up images for them, all he has to do is close his eyes). He thinks maybe he shouldn't, because it'd be too weird. He thinks maybe he should ask Darla, then he thinks he really shouldn't because that would be really weird. Generally, this train of thought ends with him laughing in a so-I-don't-cry way over what is and isn't weird in his life.
















