i feel like i’m in this new stage rn where im rediscovering my relationship to tickling, as that can totally change as you go through life and when you get a long-term partner and for many other reasons or self-discovery journeys.
i almost feel like i’m realizing i’m a lot more lee than i thought, like by default i prefer to be a lee, BUT when im closer to someone THATS what triggers my ler side to open up. having a relationship of sorts even just a friendship is what makes me wanna ler because of the bond, because im making someone i care about happy and go fucking crazy. i am definitely a switch, but way more on the lee and of the spectrum than i thought and realizing too my demisexuality is much more a part of my relationship to tickling than i thought, especially for my ler side.
i think transitioning to a guy made me feel some shame? or dysphoria? or embarrassment? around my lee side so i fronted, tried to mask it a lot more, and pushed myself to be more dominant/ler more often even when i wasn’t fully feeling it. but lately ive been stopping that, and i don’t think it makes me any less switchy because believe meeeee i am a chaotic ass and even sometimes sadistic switch, but i think ive suppressed how big my lee side is for a while due to above reasons so im just letting myself lean into it a bit more 🙈
