#randompandemic rambles

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Steam sale is killing me... now I bought dishonored and transistor too... welp...

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On my way home from Download Festival and it was incredible!!!! More tomorrow, I am knackered...

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Things to notice when replaying Awakening for the first time after Inquisition and for the first time as a Warden Queen:

1) Cullen’s voice coming out of Ander’s mouth is very strange...

2) I am your Maker amn QUEEN show some bloody respect!!!

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My Knight’s Tale AU will now also be on AO3!

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my Dropbox won’t sync and i am hyperventilating because I did so much editing on my Knight’s Tale AU and if I don’t get that synced I can’t post it today and i really wanted to aw maaaaan!!!

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I am proofreading the chapter of my Knight’s Tale AU where Cullen, Dorian and Krem meet Varric (aka Chaucer) and it is the best thing ever! I will post chapter two later tonight, so look out for that (no Varric in that one yet, but Samson and an honorary mention of The Iron Bull and Wynne :D )

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Just went through the Dark Ritual and... oh God... it always gets to me! 

It was tough enough for Zura and Alistair, but Zura is by nature cooler and as a mage, she approached it as a just ritual and was able to be relatively detached from the whole idea emotionally. She never took it personal and she would literally do anything to protect Alistair (I don’t want to think about the wrath of Zura Amell if I had left Alistair in the Fade in Inquisition...)

But Joahna! Joahna is all emotions, and she is all emotions about this ritual. She pretty much cried while explaining it all to Alistair and because he gets angry she almost looses it, she was almost about to call the whole thing off. Because what if Alistair hates her after this? What if he will never look at her the same way after she suggested that, because it means she must have agreed to Morrigan, agreed to talk to him about it, which means she actually entertained the idea first and how can he look at her the same after that? And she is actually almost angry at him for going along with it, although they BOTH know it’s the only way they both come out of this alive because just Riordan is a very slim line of defense against an Archdemon.

Then once they agree and tell Morrigan to go through with it, she puts on a super brave face - for him, mostly, because inside she is dying - when she watches him leave with Morrigan to do the deed. But once he’s out of the room, you bet she cries herself to sleep while he is gone.

Not just because it’s the love of her life sleeping with her best friend, but also because of the child that will produce. A child she knows she and Alistair will never have together and there will one day be a kid jumping around Thedas who will be Alistair’s but not her’s and that is killing her inside, because she always wanted children and always wanted her nephew Oren to play with her future children, and she wanted her children to have crazy loving grandparents. Joahna may be fierce as hell, a true Ferelden dog lord who loves her country like crazy and stops at nothing to protect Ferelden, and she always had the ambition to become Queen and always knew she would be damn good at it. But she wanted everything that came along with that, including raising a royal heir just like her mother raised her - a child ready to rule, prepared to watch over Ferelden just as she was. And when the Dark Ritual happens, it all pulls hard to port that she’ll never have that. Queen or not, she will never have a child, and most importantly she will never be able to give her child that family that was stolen from her, and in that night before the battle, and she might even loose Alistair after this, and the thought tears her apart.

So what I am saying is that thinking about all that has to go on with her through the entire thing and the way her voice cracks when she explains the ritual to Alistair and to watch how repulsed he is by her even suggesting it, it just pulls my heartstrings and I cry with her! 

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because I saw all the hype those past few days and because Steam has been waving the sale in my face... I have now purchased Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas... Will I regret this? Will it take over my life? I do LOVE my post-apocalyptic scenarios, I am a sucker for that stuff...