one. rear view by zayntwo. dil se re from dil sethree. state of grace by taylor swiftfour. no tellin by drakefive. worship by years and yearssix. disturbia by rihannaseven. bound 2 by kanye westeight. mr brightside by the killersnine. call your girlfriend by robynten. la camisa negra by juanes
send me a “hey” and i will put my itunes on shuffle and give you a 10 song playlist
general notes; this dumb idea spawned from something else entirely, and i just had to write it. i haven’t written anything this long in a while so i sincerely hope it doesn’t suck.
Tanya stood in her gallery, surveying the artwork before frowning. She thought she’d already asked the maintenance to fix the flickering lights in one corner of the display and they said that they had, so why was this light still flickering? She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. The migraine medication remained in her bag untouched, despite having been prescribed it nearly a month ago. It didn’t matter that the doctor would be mad, would look at her with those pitiful eyes as she slid Tanya a name of a well-known psychiatrist. She exhaled, finally opening her eyes. There was work to be done.
The clicking of her heels echoed in the gallery, as she opened the blinds and flipping the sign on the door to OPEN. Most days she could rarely believe that she had her own gallery. It had been a dream that she had willingly let go of when she was due to be married to Aarav Roy – the only man she’d ever loved. Even now if she shut her eyes, the only face that appeared in front of Tanya was him. The ring he’d given her she still wore, maybe not on her finger anymore but in a slim silver chain as a pendant. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone but having the ring so close to her heart, constantly slamming against her chest made her feel as if she was still close to Aarav. Tanya’s hand reached up to clutch at the ring, a certain warmth seemed to spread through her – a warmth she only associated with Aarav. Her gaze fell to the window, to the rain pouring outside; its relentless pitter patter reverberated against the roof and even the windows.
Perhaps that was why she was clinging to the memory of Aarav today; days like this had always been his favorite. In fact, he’d asked her out on a day like this. Of course the rain in Delhi was much more torrential, with the ability of destroying everything in its path. A sardonic smile upturned the corner of her lips: no wonder Aarav liked the rain so much, he too was torrential, and he’d destroyed her. She remembered seeing him outside her uncle’s halwai shop, a windcheater over his head which did nothing to stop the rain considering he was drenched. She’d been working a shift, ladling various sweets and delicacies into boxes for impatient customers. There were beads of sweat forming at her forehead, which she used her forearm to wipe away. Her dupatta had been knotted across her body, the tiny red bindi determinedly stuck to her forehead. There was a wild look in her eyes as she tried to balance tasks that were clearly meant for multiple people. When she saw Aarav however, she smiled and looked back at her masi, eyes asking for permission to go see the boy.
The smile only grew when the woman nodded with a roll of her eyes and Tanya undid the dupatta, tossing it carelessly on her side. She reached into the display, grabbing a plate of moong dal pakoras with the famed pudina chutney that her uncle’s shop was known for. Her eyebrows furrowed when he nodded to one of the few tables that were covered by an umbrella. Tanya could see him mouthing something to her and so covering the plate with her hand, Tanya rushed over to where he was.
“Yeh li jiye Aarav ji,” Tanya teased, handing him the plate. “Fresh, just for you.” What she wouldn’t tell him was that she’d made them this time and hidden underneath the full sleeve of her kameez was a nasty burn she’d gotten from the hot oil while frying the pakoras.
“I want something else from you today. Karogi? Mere liye?” There was a sort of vulnerable look in his eyes, one that Tanya had never seen before; one that made her heart race faster than she ever imagined it could. Her resting pulse probably sounded like a drum solo or the dhol that would play in the streets during Lohri.
“What happened?”
“Go out with me.”
Tanya nearly spit out the pakora she’d been eating, “What?”
“Go out with me. For dinner.”
She hesitated; her heart was urging her on, telling her to say yes. How many times had she dreamed that he would come by the shop, and instead of asking for pakoras – he would finally ask her these same words he was saying now? Of course, in her head he said I love you before any of that, but this was a close equivalent. “Yes.”
If only Tanya had known that he would burst out into the biggest grin she’d ever seen: eyes all scrunched up and a crooked smile that had stolen her heart. She wouldn’t have hesitated for that millisecond. Of course if she knew then what she knew now, as she stood alone in an art gallery in Mumbai – Tanya wouldn’t have said yes either.
She heard footsteps echo around the gallery and turned; the force with which she was knocked out of her memory left her slightly breathless. A kind of breathlessness she only ever felt around Aarav. Of course Tanya had never imagined that she would come face to face with the same man who had plagued her thoughts, her memories ever since she’d left Delhi for Mumbai.
He looked much more different than she remembered; for starters there was the scruffy look he seemed to be pulling off with ease. Tanya had never really seen messy stubble on Aarav before, or even the floppy hair he was now sporting, strands falling constantly in his hair that he pushed back by tossing his head back. He was dressed differently too: a simple plaid shirt, scruffy, ripped jeans and a jacket bunched up in his hand. There was a large, oversized backpack she could spot peeking out from behind him, stuffed to the brim with god only knew what. His eyes were red, as if he hadn’t slept for hours and it didn’t slip Tanya that he was now wearing silver studs in his ear as opposed to the black ones he was always sporting when they had been together. And there was the hint of the tattoo on his forearm, peeking out from the rolled up sleeves.
“Hey stranger.” Aarav gave her a lopsided smile, one he knew she could never resist and gave a little wave.
God, it had taken her two words from him for her knees to go weak again and it took all the energy in Tanya to not smile back, to not fall back into their routine. “What are you doing here?” Her voice was harsh, choked even as she forced the words out of her mouth, her fists clenched. “Who even told you I was here?” Then the most important question, the one that was eating her away slowly. “Why are you here?”
Her pained voice pierced through the silence, through the distance between them as he stood at Point A in the gallery and she in Point B. All it would take to get to him would be a few steps, a few steps and another one of his smiles before she realized that he was the destination. He wasn’t just some point on the map, he had always ben the destination.
Aarav shrugged, his hands in his pockets as he walked around the gallery. There was an aura to him, one that had never been there before and one that someone could only acquire after spending so much time by themselves. Or if you were Aarav? Knowing how much of an effect he had on the girl in front of him. To Tanya of course, he struck her as a douchebag, or perhaps even too mellow. She wanted to scream at him, to force him to answer her question. And yet she didn’t.
He pulled out the newspaper from his bag, and Tanya detected that it seemed wrinkled, but at the same time perfect in its creasing. It was how she knew he’d picked it up at the airport. Aarav waved the paper in front of her, Tanya’s own picture glaring back up at her. “I thought you said you didn’t want this job? That you were happy to stay with me in Delhi?”
“Things change Aarav,” Tanya squeaked; her throat was already dry. She could focus on nothing but how close he was to her, how she could smell the hint of Fahrenheit wafting off him: a gift she’d got him on their second year anniversary.
In no time, Aarav had her pressed against the wall so tightly that he could hear her heart thumping in her chest; it beat so loudly, so clearly that he knew he already had his answer. She wouldn’t look at him however, her gaze on her floor instead. His fingers hooked under her chin as he forced her to look up at him. Another lopsided smile, a shake of his head. “Come on shona, who are you trying to fool? You know,” his voice lowered to a whisper, lips at her ear. “You know you’ll always be mine.”
She’d almost agreed, almost said yes and given in. “You’re insane,” Tanya let out, her voice ragged as she shoved him away. “Why now?” She let the words ring through the room before continuing, “Why do you suddenly remember that I exist? You seemed to have forgotten this fact when it was our wedding day!” Even mentioning it made Tanya feel as if she’d been punched in the gut, all the air forced out of her.
Aarav only frowned at that, hoping she’d forgotten, hoping that her anger had subsided over the two years since it had happened. He had obviously been wrong. “Shona I…” He broke off, unsure of what exactly he could tell her, what would mend her still broken heart. He obviously could not tell her that he had taken off to discover himself, that he had been fine up until the day of the wedding when the panic had suddenly kicked in. It gnawed at him, as did the insecurity – the insecurity that he wasn’t good enough for her. But things were different now, and he was here. He still loved her. That should have been enough.
Perhaps it was this reasoning that forced his hand as he surged forward, trapping the girl he loved against the wall once more. His one hand pressed against the wall next to her head as Aarav looked into Tanya’s eyes, searching for the love that he had always found, a weight lifting off his shoulders when it was still there. Of course the engagement ring glinting against her shirt should have given it off better than anything else. He heard her breath hitch, and leaned in – his lips against hers.
Tanya too kissed him back, already lost in him, already making excuses for him; he was back now. That was what mattered. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even closer and only pulled away once they were pressed for air. She looked at him with that dazed look in her eyes, lips swollen and hair mussed.
“There’s your answer,” Aarav whispered, leaning in to kiss her again.
Once you get this, list five things that make you happy and put it in the ask box of the last ten people in your activity. <3
1) Food. As a kid, my preference lied heavily towards savoury snacks; didn’t have much of a sweet tooth but now I literally love everything!
2) Music. I enjoy almost every kind! If I’m upset, I like listening to upbeat music - usually in a language I don’t understand.
3) Good conversations with strangers. For example, today the guy that was serving me at the till was the sweetest and most chatty person ever! I only had one product to buy, but we ended up talking nonsense for long after we were done 😅 it really lifted my mood 🌸
4) My best friends. I love how we can share anything at all with each other - even the most embarrassing of things. The feeling of being able to be 100% myself around them makes me happyyy!
yes tanya can use chopsticks! but she doesn’t use it the proper way, as long as she can get the noodles from her bowl to her mouth and look poised while doing it she doesn’t care.
what do they do when they can’t sleep:
usually tanya can’t sleep when she has a big idea so she ends up in her studio, trying to paint it. otherwise she’ll just curl up closer to aarav so that his arms are around her.
what would they impulse buy at the grocery store:
juice boxes and rice crackers. she has to buy them.
what order do they wash things in the shower:
hair, body, face
what’s their coffee order:
either a salted caramel mocha, or plain black coffee.
what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone:
she has the usual social media apps but also a few music apps, netflix, online shopping apps (a lot of those) and she has a coloring book app.
how do they act around children:
tanya absolutely adores children, and children adore her back.
what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on:
well considering that she’ll watch pretty much anything anyways, i’ll go with her guilty pleasure. tanya’s favorite guilty pleasure show is ‘say yes to the dress.’
kabir:
can they use chopsticks:
kabir can, it would be a little embarrassing if he didn’t especially considering he always took his dates back home in Cali to Shunji, what he proclaims is the best sushi restaurant in all of LA.
what do they do when they can’t sleep:
he usually gets out of bed and heads to the balcony for a quick smoke. the nicotine calms his nerves enough for him to go back to sleep but when that doesn’t work, kabir decides on a night time run.
what would they impulse buy at the grocery store:
well he can’t exactly go grocery shopping himself so he asks the help to always bring back packets of sunflower seeds and kurkure (he loves them even if his trainer chews him out for it)
what order do they wash things in the shower:
face and then everything else.
what’s their coffee order:
(it’s girly but) a grande, iced, vanilla latte with soy milk.
what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone:
he just has the social media apps on his phone, saavn, a few healthy eating and calorie tracking apps, and the kindle app.
how do they act around children:
kabir likes children, as long as they are not his.
what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on:
when nothing he wants to watch is on, kabir will turn to the history channel and watch some war documentary.
radha:
can they use chopsticks:
no radha cannot unfortunately, she uses forks and purposely avoids the chopsticks.
what do they do when they can’t sleep:
she only moves closer to krish, sharing her blankets with him. his arms around her seem to lull her back to sleep with ease.
what would they impulse buy at the grocery store:
chips, especially sour cream and cheese flavored chips.
what order do they wash things in the shower:
hair face and then body.
what’s their coffee order:
espresso
what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone:
social media apps, and photography apps.
how do they act around children:
considering that radha has a son and now a daughter on the way, she especially loves children but mostly her own because they are well behaved and not at all bratty like the other kids.
what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on:
would it be awful if i said krish’s old movies? yes? yes. she watches reality tv because even if she hates it, at least its entertaining.
*drops in* This is a positivity message reminding you that you're awesome! Keep smiling, keep your chin up, and remember to be kind! Keep the love going and send this to whomever you wish! (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。♥
*replies three months later because i suck* love uuu
Tag a quality blog, You’re it! Quality doesn’t means that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how many followers you have. Send this to 15 blogs who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them ♡♡♡
