#ratherlikeaspokesperson

[divinethief]

[Text] So as it turns out, I still don't quite experience the passage of time the human way. And my dog stole my phone. How is David?

[txt] Unholy buggering fuck, where've you been old man? I was worried! Davie's fine, growing like a little sapling.

[txt] Come over, bring my nephew, explain yourself, have some coffee?

[bloodyhardtoarchive]

ratherlikeaspokesperson started following you

[There's no way to make a book moving on its own look inconspicuous, but he tries.]

[weeklyworldnews]

ratherlikeaspokesperson replied to your post:#I’m going to play this at your funeral#Kali will...

*muffled sound of Metatron’s longsuffering sigh*

Admit it. You'd cry.

[weeklyworldnews]

"I had to get close to you somehow."

So that was it.

Gabriel wasn't sure what cut deeper, the fact that this had been coming all along or that he had let himself get stupid enough to be surprised. He should have known better.

Steeling himself for what came next--and it was deja-vu for sure, because only one brother would be leaving, he knew--he asked just one question. "Was it me or them?"

[weeklyworldnews]

#*stares directly into the camera with a long suffering look*

[weeklyworldnews]

  "Jerkoff made a whole book for his fake? See, now it’s personal. More than it was, I mean. And the end game—isn’t it obvious? The angels are gonna follow whatever general shows up first, and there”s only one archangel who’s got a knack for faking death and dodging the radar. Guess who.”

[ratherlikeaspokesperson-deactiv]

He shook his head. “No, I don’t know what he did, but whatever it was, it was potent enough to put another book in the library of lives…just be thankful the information wasn’t mixed up with yours.” He rubbed his eyes. “Right, so he wants more powerful piece on the board. That’s all I’m getting from this. Thank Father he doesn’t know you’re actually alive.” The Metatron hesitated. “I take that back. If he’d known, he would have confronted you by now, and you would have locked him in a perpetual loop of horror for even trying. At least half of our problems solved in one finger snap.”

[weeklyworldnews]

"No kidding. Bad enough he made himself a bootleg." Gabriel snorted. "Maybe I should take a page from his book--literally. Hunt his ass down and show him what a real trickster can do."

[weeklyworldnews]

[How I play Gabriel, summed up in one gif:

That's it, that's weeklyworldnews.]

[weeklyworldnews]

All of them for ratherlikeaspokesperson (whose mun is too lazy to log onto that account sorry)

Send ✉ for an 2 AM text

[text] if i got bored and opened a portal to a hellish dimension at stonehenge

[text] how disappointed would  you be

[text] hypothetically

Send ✘ for an unsent text

[text] can't be homesick if it's changed [deleted]

Send ☠ for a threatening message

[text] don't make that face

[text] so help me dad i will let shakti fingerpaint your sweatervest collection

[text] the whole thing

Send ❤ for a lusty/loving/affectionate message

[text] i'm glad you're here

Send ♣ for a drunk message

[text] i may or may not have been competing with dionysus again

[text] either way you should come check

[text] this is either williamsburg or i'm in the wrong century