#rattlebones.txt

[jackalbones]

Recent God Ponderings:

Weh I don’t feel connected to most of my Beloveds, some of them I never have. I don’t know where that leaves me.

Leading to:-

Oh, you can feel unconnected to your Beloveds, and that’s normal and ok? Nice!

and

Time to EXPLORE.

Which led to:-

Is Nit not just “Opener of the Way haha what a coincidence”, but actually a mirror point for Wepwawet, a magnifying lens? Or possibly a similar energy, more constant now that Wepwawet is shifting about with all this Sed and justice business.

I feel unconnected to Bast, but what if she was a lioness? Ooo, what are these other “iru”? What about Wadjet? Wait, Wadjet can be a lioness? Wait, don’t I have a statue of Wadjet as lioness? Omg. It all makes sense.

Wait, if Hethert is his consort, Nit is his counterpart, and Wadjet is on the front of his standard, that’s three of my five Beloveds connected to Wepwawet. Welp, gotta work on the other two XD

Oh, Wenut is also very cool, and similar to Wadjet. And can be an aspect of not only Bast but of Wadjet as well. HMMM. (Shesemtet is also pretty cool looking, please send help.)

For now, I have put my Wadjet-lioness statue on my Senut shrine, where I used to have a traditional cat-Bast with sistrum. It feels better, but figuring out who exactly it really is might be a challenge. Wadjet fits but that doesn’t mean it’s her. Or just her.

We shall see. Either way, I feel reinvigorated, and more hopeful.

[jackalbones]

So, a year ago my health was a lot better. I was tired but it’s really over the past year that my major deterioration has happened. Some of my last posts involved going to Leeds for the UK KO meet. Now I’m practically housebound, and have to manage my energy carefully within the house.

I’m not feeling too negative about that right now, as my thoughts on what might be causing it have cycled around to sleep apnea, and that’s treatable. So fingers crossed in that regard.

As for an update, well, I was glancing back and actually, this post seems like an interesting place to start, and a healthy reminder for me. To go over where I’ve got with those goals:

I’ve started meditating again in the past couple of weeks, but honestly, being severely ill and having your life grind to a halt, having your life goals snatched from you, has a way of being very... grounding. I’ve made a lot of peace over the past year with things going how they need to go. I’ve got better at managing my mental health as well. The only thing that continues to frustrate me is my physical health, but I’m doing better at not getting tangled in my emotions with that too often.

Yeah I fucked this, due to health. With that said, in the new year I apparently pulled some kind of motivation out of my arse. A month or two ago I’d found the energy to move my shrine to a better spot, more accessible, and then when I started meditation a couple weeks ago I meshed it with Senut and so far so good. Touch wood.

I’ve come at this from various angles, most of which got pushed aside due to my health. But honestly the main one I keep coming back to is that I like just, being there. I like being a friendly face, I like giving advice. I feel like that is what I am supposed to do. And I’ve started doing it again, I think, in recent months. At least I hope people are getting good out of my input.

Got this done finally at least. Haven’t devoted to using it much yet, but hopefully once I’m settled in with my Senut routine it will be “safe” to.

Did this a bit. Half the reason I managed to move my Senut shrine is that there was space due to me cutting down. So that’s good.

I lost my way with Sau for a while. I couldn’t do one of the tasks at all, physically, and that discouraged me from Sau altogether. I think I’ve found a way though so I’ve started back up, though it’s still hard to find the energy and brainspace.

Still trying. Doing a little better with Serqet, at least.

Per 1, I think I am doing better at this. A lot of this is to do with priesthood, although a lot isn’t, and I think I’m doing good at actually just... existing. Striving to become better for its own sake.

I sent an email to Hemet updating her on my situation, and per that email, even if my health makes priesthood as a job inaccessible to me, I want priesthood as an ideal to be something that stays with me always.

I’m trying to be someone I’d admire. Health be damned, I think I like the progress I’m making.

[jackalbones]

So there’s this post about Hathor as energy. And it’s beautiful and I love it but it also is one of the moments that reminds me that my Hathor is not vanilla Hathor.

A word that springs to mind (probably incorrectly) when I think of Hathor-Amenti, the Hathor facet that I work with, is entropy. Where Hathor is vigour and energy and life, Hathor-Amenti is a slowing down, she is in many ways the end.

She is still joyful. Her smile still lights up the world, her laugh is like falling stars, and when music plays she twirls and her wonder invites you to join her.

But she’s softer than Hathor’s primary face. She’s a kindly hand reaching out. She’s gentle arms wrapping around. Where Hathor’s rush of zest powers you forward, Hathor-Amenti walks alongside you at a comfortable pace, and hands you water when you need to rest.

If you fly with Hathor, Hathor-Amenti is the one there when you finally land, guiding you back to your uncertain feet and on to what waits ahead.

[jackalbones]

So like, actual review of UK Gather, loosely. It was, in fact, amazeballs.

We had people from all over come, like Finland and Germany and even America (not just Hemet, either!). But not so many that it wasn’t super chill. It was so... like retreat and yet not like retreat.

The energy was like retreat. We did Weshem-Ib and Sekhmet healing ceremony, we stayed in the same hotel and had dinner together and it was lovely and felt amazing and I left feeling so ka-fed and renewed and enlivened.

But at the same time, even when all of us were in the same meeting room, conversations were relaxed, quiet, refreshing. I’m so introverted and shy and have such a hard time talking especially in crowds, but I felt empowered and able to speak. It was absolutely lovely.

We did heka exercises that varied from serious and thoughtful, to absolutely hilarious (the holy heka grenade of Heru and Set may have been created from random supermarket goods). We discussed how to feed our ka, and not eat our hearts. We discussed kingship, what it is, what it isn’t, how it works and connects in the modern world (this was deeply insightful I thought, and I came out of it feeling really untangled).

The Sekhmet Healing Ceremony was amazing for being smaller. It was the first I’ve attended where I didn’t hide (though it was a close run thing). It was powerful and emotional, and I think I’m still processing it.

And of course, for me, I think something I get out of these events that people don’t talk about, is that I come away knowing all these people so much better. Which is important especially with Hemet (who so many people, mostly new or outside of the temple may see in negative ways), but it’s also important with everybody else. We never come across as quite ourselves, I think, in text. And then we all meet each other and who we are really shines through and it’s just wonderful to have that bonding experience and that sense of who is behind the words online.

I am so looking forward to more of these events, big and small alike.

[jackalbones]

So, on Saturday, in person at the Kemetic Orthodox UK Gather, I had my two Beloved divinations done!

Nit said yes, but that I had a choice whether to accept her as a Beloved or not. She also said that she had always been there, but had chosen not to reveal herself until now. Her form is Nit-Nebthet-Seshat. I already heavily get Nebthet, and that night I got a vivid dream I'm pretty sure was Seshat making themself known, making sure I recognised them as more than just a "soft fem librarian voice" in the background.

Sobek OTOH. Sobek said he is not offering to be my Beloved at this time. He said he is here for another reason (which he wouldn't give through the divination). Hemet speculated that as he's Nit's son, that might be why, or part of why. But it's ultimately for me to discover. This doesn't really surprise me as he has been pushing me for the divination, not reassuring me that he is a Beloved.

So yeah, I am now Child of Wepwawet, Beloved of Serqet, Bast, Ra-Heruakhty, Hethert-Amenti, and Nit-Nebthet-Seshat.

My line up feels... right, at this point. You can't predict the future, but I feel content with how it is now.

Time for more Yliade art and framing, finally, when I have the cash :P Time to see if it looks good or garish/cramped behind my Senut shrine.

[jackalbones]

It was thundering (finally) on Wesir’s day, and the air was positively thrumming with energy. I practically jumped into shrine, it felt perfect for that and some magical work, in the candlelight while the storm crackled overhead.

I’m really happy with my shrine rework with the bigger statues. I’m still saving for a Sobek statue, and I’d quite like a new Ra-Heruakhty statue to go with it (you can’t see well here but everyone else is very shiny and there’s gold on everyone but Wep, except Ra who’s mostly dark bronzes and muted colours). In the meantime the current statue will do, and Sobek has a quartz crocodile. The statues will probably be the last step, after I’ve framed the art for behind the shrine and put it up.

I also need a new altar cloth, one that’s bigger and less beaten up, which I’m working on.

[jackalbones]

Y’know, a prayer I’ve loved since I saw it, is the “Prayer for Confidence” that’s in the Ancient Egyptian Prayerbook by Tamara Siuda.

Hail to you, my heart Seat of my personality Do not forsake me

-Spell 459, Coffin Texts

[jackalbones]

Hey, could you recommend any books for a beginning kemetic?

This very much depends on your interest and leanings as a Kemetic!

The Ancient Egyptian Prayerbook by Tamara L. Siuda is very good, I think. 

It has recipes for natron and kyphi (kyphi is quite involved to make, but it’s lovely if you have the resources!), a brief ritual cleansing for before entering shrine, a short daily rite (or however often you wish to perform it, daily is how it’s designed). And then it has lots of historical hymns and prayers, such as hymns to the Gods and prayers for protections and good dreams. It’s a very nice starter book and I highly recommend it. The daily ritual is technically Kemetic Orthodox in origin in case that bothers you, but it’s a charming and wonderful thing and available to the public.

Tumblr’s very own starsandepithets has a book called Adoration of the Netjeru, and the PDF copy is actually still on sale at a reduced price until the 30th of February!

This book is basically a book of hymns to a lot of different Netjeru. It’s very versatile. You can use the hymns as they are or use them as a starting point to expand upon. It’s very useful.

I’ve heard mixed things about Sharon LaBorde’s books, Following the Sun and Circle of the Sun. I haven’t personally read them. I have heard that Following the Sun for example is a good starter book in many ways, that it covers fundamentals such as Ma’at and helps you find your feet, but I’ve also heard that these books are a mixed bag in terms of historical accuracy in case that concerns you. There’s even a section on Tameran Wicca in Following the Sun according to Amazon, which would suit some people but others wouldn’t like in a Kemetic book. Sharon LaBorde is also known for letting her dislike of Kemetic Orthodoxy (which I don’t judge anybody for) seep into her Kemetic writing and vlogging, and I don’t know if that has happened in either of her books. Basically, they sound like they could be very helpful books, but go into them prepared to take the good and leave what doesn’t resonate.

If your interests lean towards more ritual devotion than a quick daily offering, I would recommend Everlasting Egypt by Richard J. Reidy.

It features rituals to something like 20? Or more Gods, all very similar but with personalised hymns and offerings. The rituals are involved and historical, but not long when you get down to it. They do involve the idea that your God resides in a naos, or shrine cabinet though, though I’m sure they could be modified to not include that.

Other than that, just go bananas with any kind of book that seems interesting academically. Egyptian Mythology: A Guide to the Gods, Goddesses, and Traditions of Ancient Egypt by Geraldine Pinch is on my wish list, as is Religion and Magic in Ancient Egypt by Rosalie David. They seem like solid places to start and I do plan to add them to my collection for my own reference and to help out friendly non-Kemetics. And for a more dictionary-like approach, you can’t go far wrong with The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt by Richard H. Wilkinson.

Followers, feel free to add to this list!