Sunset reflections

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Sunset reflections
Unveiled Authenticity
I find a profound appreciation for the unadorned facets of life—raw emotions, unfiltered feelings, and unvarnished moments. The unguarded sharing of unrefined memories and thoughts instills in me a deep sense of gratitude. The exquisite beauty lies in those instances of vulnerability and unblemished truthfulness, a precious tapestry woven through genuine human connection.
for the twitch in my leg may be the thing which sends me to my grave. and the tremor in my limbs may be the reason I do not get to see another day.
I am going to put on my good clothes, I am going to slip quickly into the unworn special occasions dress I’ve been saving, I am going to quit on the emotional tax I’ve been paying, I am going to burn some damns lest I be damned, I am going to pull out fear by the roots and plant love in the same spot, I am going to make windows tremble blasting Red and Meth, I am going to bare some heart and admit some things.
I battled with numbness, I did. i used to dance in front of the mirror because it was the only way I knew for sure my body was moving, I used to hold back tears, I used to mask fears. I used sleep to shut out of reality when the waters got too deep. I used to say ‘i am fine’, even when I was not. I used to adhere to instruction and other presets just like a robot. I used to want to be heard, back when my view of myself was a little too blurred.
goodness! we wreck ourselves. we crumble into meaninglessness searching for the signs and waiting for readiness. all because we want to walk the line… the straight path to the dream, the estimated distance to our targeted find. beacuse deviations can come with pain and a little distraction offers no thing anyone can gain. so we pant, we chase, we plan and we pray… over and over again.
for nothing is promised, for the clock will stop ticking keeping with its own time, for these moments are fleeting, for the present is nothing ordinary. for all is willed…. for all is willed… So today and on the rest of the days… I DO.
Happy New Year!
Daring ever so steadily, - Naleli.
IN ALL HONESTY
Trial Two: sleepy bobbing head... I think i just fell out of a nightmarish dream. the brutal thrust into the time when I was just a girl chasing simplicity, an unrelenting soul wanting to escape complacency. a mission on legs with a vision on hand, a prayer in the pocket and a pen on the sleeve. just yesterday I went about town searching for a pair of white shoes: something to lighten up my walking and something to brighten up my hues. my failure in the search was much like my inability to merge the way I was with the way that I am. the thing I want most definitely exists but for the life of me I cannot find it. i got to thinking that I might be falling, because my feet never touch the ground when I am moving. falling or stalling... i wonder why my shimmer dulls if we are all made of stardust, why my fibre dies if I am eternal. as we await the late ones to help enlighten our souls, effort must be rallied to lighten our loads, to keep us immovable against the stuff which tugs at our tummies when we soar, to act as braces against the stuff which pokes at us when we're set in motion to lift and push us away from the stuff which opposes when we climb. vapours rise and condense before the heavens, easy in flow when they rise; heavy and dense as they they descend. what goes up must lift forever or eventually fall back to source,surely even our essence once recklessly lost will eventually find its way back within. hope.
IN ALL HONESTY Trial One: The time when shoes offered little grip on concrete sidewalks I walked to the side on crowded pathways to allow more room for crowds to pass me by. Lately I'd like to occupy more space in my movement. These days I’d like to claim my spot that has been treaded on and neglected on the wayside, like an abandoned child searching in the faces of strangers for a bit familiarity and aching in the stomach from a hunger for belonging. These days I run for awareness in my motions so that when the hands brush against me I may be touched and when eyes fix upon me i may be seen. It’s taken a while to understand my proclivity and now that my North Star is clear in the view I see that the things I sulked about needing never left the radius of my grasp, I am the one who did not reach out. These steps deliver me from resistance one stride on ground at a time...