#rayisahuman

[violaceum-vitellina-viridis]

#40 for the wordy bitch disease bitch: write a nine-word fic (<3)

raymond i'm going to put spaghetti in your underwear oh my GOD you BRAT

i literally love you but ALSO—

jesus christ okay. this took me several hours of poking at in my head to figure out, and is OG fic instead of fanfic, but based on a much longer piece i've been considering the merits of experimenting with:

From somewhere inside the sealed tomb, a baby cries.

[normal-horoscopes]

Hey CT? I just read a long summary about what exactly Qanon is and I have two thoughts - one, we don't respect enough the time/knowledge you put into keeping up with conspiracy theories (thank you), and two, /HOLY SHIT/ (i ran out of content warning tags)

YEAP

[in-love-with-writing002]

consider: bakery Jaskel meet cute (it's Lambert's bakery ofc) where Eskel has to go "oh no i don't actually work here," bonus points if you can include Eskel having Safe Dad Energy

Awww, that is cute! and of course it’s Lambert’s bakery, haha!

—

The doorbell above the shop door rings when someone walks in, and Eskel glances up from his phone to see a man stride in carrying a thick satchel. He glances to the front counter where Lambert is absent and frowns slightly— the man might be a student, and he doesn’t want someone’s short attention span to make them impatient and leave. It’s just bad for business.

It doesn’t help that he, the man who walked in, looks adorably ruffled from the wind outside, and is rocking lightly on the balls of his feet. Eskel stealthily puts his phone away and stands, as much as one can when they’re over six-foot and large. He makes his way over to the line, where the man is wincing and switching which hand his satchel is in.

“Bloody heavy thing,” the man mutters to seemingly nobody. Eskel chuckles a little, watching him turn around abruptly. “Mother of- I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were there!”

Eskel shakes his head with a placating gesture. “No worries. That does look heavy, can I help get you to a seat while you wait?”

“Oh! Yes, please.” His eyes brighten, and he happily hands over the satchel. It’s heavier than Eskel had expected, but he doesn’t let it show, gesturing to the empty seats in the bakery. The man points to a table by the wall and Eskel carries his satchel over, setting it down on the table. “Er, sorry to bother,” the man says, sounding a little embarrassed. “Is there a bathroom here?”

“Yeah,” Eskel said. “Usually you’ve gotta buy something first, but you seem pretty intent to, right?”

He nods vigorously. “I’ve heard so many great reviews of this place, and the ambiance set up is wonderful! I plan to be here for a while, so of course I’ll buy something.”

Eskel smiles. The man is nice, which is only doing favors for his attractiveness. “There’s a key to the bathroom on the front counter,” Eskel says. “What’re you here for, if that’s not rude to ask?”

“Oh, thank you!” He says enthusiastically. “I’ve got papers to grade, and a deadline to meet. I’ve told myself I won’t head home until I finish at least one class.”

“Ah,” Eskel says. “You a teacher?”

“I earned my doctorate, thank you. Professor. Jaskier Pankratz— I teach music theory.” A music teacher, Eskel thinks as he nods. More importantly, he’d learned the man’s name. Jaskier.

“I don’t want to chat your ear off if you’re busy,” Eskel says, chuckling. “I’ll let you get settled.” He retreats and goes back to his lone seat on a couch across the room as Jaskier walks to the front counter to retrieve the key. Still no Lambert. He assumes he’s probably mixing something in the back— he considers the day for a moment before he realizes he knows exactly what’s happening. The weekly shipment delivery for the bakery arrives today, and that means Aiden is here. While Aiden is less insufferable than his brother, they’re equally infatuated— Eskel’s had to endure their flirting for months now. As sweet as they are together, there’s only so many times Eskel can hear his brother, who for the rest of his life has been a prickly fucking Bastard, unironically called “sweetheart” before he starts to question his sanity.

“Sorry to bother you when you’re clearly on break.”

Eskel snaps out of his thoughts to see Jaskier has come back from the bathroom, fidgeting a bit with his hands. It’s endearing, and it lifts Eskel from his thoughts about his idiot baby brother.

“But I—“

“Oh, I don’t work here,” Eskel says quickly. He means to say it to assure Jaskier he’s not being a bother, but Jaskier flushes a lovely shade of pink and waves his hand frantically.

“Oh! Haha, silly me, you must just be a regular! Or. Something. I’m terribly sorry. You were just so helpful, I assumed, and now I’ve gone and made things awkward—“

Eskel feels suitably cowed. He had been attempting to appease Lambert’s customer, but it had make him seem a bit like he ran the place. “N-no, that was my mistake, see my brother owns the place but he’s probably too busy flirting with the supply guy to have heard the bell, I’m so sorry, I think I overstepped—“

“Not at all, you were very polite and quite helpful, Mister, um.”

“Eskel.”

“—Eskel.” Jaskier and Eskel both seem hyper aware of how awkward they’ve both made things with this miscommunication, and there’s a heavy pause in their conversation full of tension—

And then Jaskier snickers. Eskel glances up and sees him biting his upper lip to keep it in, but he’s smiling behind it.

Eskel feels a smile trying to creep onto his own face.

“I’m going to—“

“I’ll go get my—“

They speak at the same time, and then they both grin, making eye contact where they can easily see the amusement in each other’s eyes. Jaskier hides another cute-but-slightly-hysterical giggle and turns to go back to his seat, while Eskel watches him go.

As he gets up to go find Lambert, Eskel smiles lightly to himself— maybe his brother being gone to flirt had its perks after all.

[strangehorse]

hi i'm here from your infamous boyfriend post from 2018 pls tell me you're still together bc he sounds. so good

we’re engaged, baby!! 

whenever i can’t decide between two dishes at a restaurant, he orders the other one so that if i don’t like mine i can switch with him. he’s real good.

[in-love-with-writing002]

consider: bartender!Jaskier who is utterly unfazed by odd drink orders but who still flirts with and jokes a little about Eskel's preferred fruity cocktail

Ooooo, this is fun! I wasn’t sure if I should make it Proper Shippy or if they’re just friends, so let’s see where the vibes take me!

—

“Geralt? Whiskey. Your photographer friend? Tequila. His boyfriend— well, he likes rum and Cokes but I’ll let that one slide, because if anyone drank rum straight I would be concerned. How come, Eskel, out of all the people you hang out with, you’re the only one who asks me to make you pretentious fruity cocktails?”

Jaskier smacked a hand down on a shaker to seal it and started mixing, still smack-talking Eskel.

“It’s cause I’m—“

“I swear to Melitele, if you’re about to say ‘gay,’ I will bash this shaker into your jaw. On purpose this time.”

Eskel grinned, pleasantly tipsy and on his way to getting comfortably drunk. “They taste good,” Eskel said. “What do you even do with straight spirits? I’m helping you branch out. And making sure you keep stock on hand that doesn’t have fruit flies in it.”

Jaskier scoffed indignantly. “The idea that you think Priscilla would leave her booze unchecked is frankly a little insulting.”

Eskel still caught the subtle glance into the bottle of vodka he’d added into his shaker Jaskier made. Of course, Eskel knew everything was safe. Jaskier’s manager was obsessed with keeping the place spotless— it came from working in a tattoo shop before, she always said. At least the place was cozy still. “I have to have some kind of comeback,” Eskel said, watching Jaskier strain out his drink into a glass already partially full of other ingredients. “And anyway, I think you like making cocktails. Gives you a creative outlet while you’re behind the counter. Not like I make specific requests, anyway.”

Jaskier didn’t respond as he picked up a twist of lemon he’d prepped earlier, sticking his tongue out of his mouth slightly as he positioned it over the rim of the glass. “I suppose so,” he said once he’d gotten it in place, lowering his head down to look around the cup, twisting it. The ice clinked lightly together as he inspected it, and upon his satisfied nod, he stuck a straw in and slid it towards Eskel. “Here you are. Let me know if I went too heavy on the lemon, alright? If I put in too much, next time I make it I’ll add simple syrup and the cube.”

Eskel nodded and took a sip, immediately reeling and making a face. “Holy shit,” he said, his eyes watering. “Ack, that’s sour.”

“Well obviously, you didn’t stir it.”

Once Eskel recovered from Jaskier poisoning him, he shook himself out and focused on the flavors other than the sour. It leveled off after just a few seconds, and the sweetness from the raspberry and sugar came through. He coughed a couple of times and nodded. “It’s nice though.” He stirred it with the straw and the raspberry mixed into the drink, and his next sip was much more pleasant. “Oh, that Is nice. Still got some punch though. I don’t think there’s too much lemon, but it wouldn’t hurt to add more sugar.” Eskel dipped st his drink while Jaskier helped the next customer, who ordered some ridiculous combination for a cocktail, but he made no mention of it, working on it with a smile.

“So you can be nice about weird drinks,” Eskel said once Jaskier was done, sliding back over to chat.

“Of course!” He said. “I’m a professional, after all. But his drink was hardly pretentious, really. He didn’t ask for a fancy garnish, see.” Jaskier was grinning at him, and Eskel laughed as he shook his head. “Anyway, finish your drink. I have another combination I want to try on you.”

Eskel raised his drink in a toast. “You’re the professional.”

—

I used what very limited knowledge I have of bartending to make this— I hope you like how it turned out!!

[jell-hell]

10 - word you keep using in fic?

Not to sound edgy, but probably guilt (and guilty). Also "chest". I feel a lot of things in my chest, so it's a figure I keep returning to. I also struggle with guilt, and find it an important concept to explora in my writing. Thank for the ask!!

[nanalineni]

little things that have so much Gender (in ur opinion)?

well.. rings lol

the way you decorate your bedroom

how you tuck your shirt in

how much noise you make opening and turning off a faucet (I promise you, only certain people make a lot of noise doing that)

where you choose to go in the wagon when you enter a train for commute, like whether you try to make yourself small at the end of it, whether you stay by the pole in the middle, how you grab the pole, whether you stay in front of the door etc etc

hats

how you react to gettin your head massaged

HM it’s hard to find like fun harmless little things I’m now realising many of those above are linked to how I see men occupying the public space as if they were owning it and we should let them and I :(