'Til i forget what i felt in the first place
In which Rayla sings a lullaby, and Soren finds it oddly familiar.
Co-written and edited by the supremely talented @honeii-puff! I write the Soren POV chapters, she writes the Corvus POV chapters. Also on Ao3 and it has a playlist!
They didn’t stop until the sun had disappeared from the sky the following day and the moon was rising. Soren was exhausted, carrying a far heavier load than the others what with his bulky armor. He was grateful to sit down and catch his breath when Rayla finally called for them to stop. Even she couldn’t keep going forever.
But it was once they’d stopped that the divide between the two sides of their little makeshift camp began to feel noticeable. Soren had chosen a large tree to lean against, unclipping the sword from his belt and lying it beside him. Runaan had settled against a tree opposite him, a little ways off into the forest. Rayla and Callum were quick to fall into place beside him.
It made sense. Runaan was Rayla’s Dad, of course she wanted to spend some time with him. And it wasn’t like Callum was going to ditch his girlfriend to come and sit with Soren. But still, it hurt. Just a little bit.
Not all of them being over there and him being here, that he didn’t care about. Rayla and Callum could sit where they liked.
It was just that there was nobody to come and sit beside Soren.
He waited just until his legs had stopped burning before pushing himself to his feet and clipping his sword back to his belt.
“I’m going to go and get us some firewood.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? They might be able to see the smoke.” Rayla interjected.
“It’s going to be cold tonight.” Soren pointed out. “And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t pack a blanket.”
None of them could argue with that, so they let him wander off into the steadily darkening trees. Soren gathered wood until his arms were full and twigs were spilling out with every step. Unable to fit anymore, he found little excuse not to return to camp.
He got back to find them in a similar state as before; all huddled on one side of the small clearing, chattering amongst themselves. Callum said something that made Rayla laugh, and even coaxed a small smile out of Runaan (Soren was beginning to realize that that was as good as you were going to get with him).
“I got firewood!” he said loudly, dumping it in the middle of the clearing. They all glanced up at him as he began clearing leaves and other debris out of the way.
“Could somebody hand me those stones?” he asked, gesturing to a small pile that had collected between the roots of a nearby tree.
Runaan passed them to him without a word, one by one, and Soren used them to build a ring to contain the fire. Sitting back, he inspected his work and wiped his forehead.
“It looks really good, Soren.” Rayla said, scooting closer. It was already getting cold. “Now how do we light it?”
“Uhhh.” Soren glanced around the space, thoughtfully chewing his bottom lip. “We’ll just have to use good old fashioned camping know-how.”
“I’ve got it!” Callum said before Soren could begin. He leaned forward, reciting some gobbledygook in whatever-language and tracing a shape in the air. His fingers moved too fast for Soren to make it out, and then they were sparking. He threw the little bolts of lighting into the bundle of dry twigs Soren had gathered and they burst into flame.
“There we go. Fire handled.” Callum puffed out his chest like some sort of strutting bird.
“Is that a new spell?” Rayla asked, turning to him.
“Yep.” Callum said, settling back with his hands folded behind his head. He snapped his fingers, a few stray sparks flying into the air. “Pretty neat, huh?”
“Very.” Rayla said with a playful smile. “There’s no mage quite like you.”
“You could say-” Callum sat up abruptly, throwing her a questioning glance. “Are you making fun of me?”
Rayla rolled her eyes. “Of course not, my most talented mage. I’m being entirely serious.”
“You are teasing me.” Callum chuckled, draping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her in for a quick kiss.
Soren glanced away, feeling a little awkward as the pair of them continued teasing and making eyes at each other. His gaze met Runaan’s as the other elf also looked away, and they shared a sigh. Soren smiled.
The fire burned long into the night, well after Rayla and Callum had - thankfully - reverted to their non-flirtatious selves. They could be so embarrassing, sometimes. Soren was glad he never acted like that.
He poked the fire with a stick. It was getting late, the moon already high above them. They were all on edge, waiting for someone to come barging out of the woods and… Soren didn’t know what. Arrest them? Tell them that King Ezran was disappointed in them? That would probably be worse.
The little creature (rat? monkey? lemur?) on Rayla’s shoulder chirruped, and she lifted it up, cradling it in her arms.
“Shhh, Stella. It’s okay. Go to sleep now.”
She cleared her throat, leaning back against the fall tree beside Callum and humming a soft tune under her breath. After a moment, she began to sing. “Though the sky is dark tonight, I still shine for you, my dear.”
The moon twinkled above them, and Soren settled back against his tree, feeling his own eyes growing heavy. There was something oddly familiar and comforting about the lullaby.
“The moon is more than just her light. I am near, my love is here.” Rayla crooned.
Soren’s eyes drifted shut.
Either the room he was in was large, or he was small. Very small. A voice came to him through the foggy echoes of memory, soft and low.
“Though you feel so much alone-” Soren was vaguely aware of a hand gently stroking the hair back from his face. “Oh, my darling, do not fear.”
He tried to place the voice - the touch - to a face. But the more he clung to the dream the more it slipped away.
“Hold to what you’ve always known. I am near, my love is here.”
Soren felt his chest grow tighter, and was suddenly aware of just how little air was in his lungs. The moment began to break apart at the edges, the pieces that remained growing in clarity as he struggled to draw in a breath.
The singer’s voice broke, but she didn’t stop. “Though my face cannot be seen, the answer in your heart is clear.”
Soren drew in a shallow, heaving breath. The hand brushed the damp, sticky strands of his hair back from his forehead.
“I am the moon, the silver queen.”
The face above him swam into focus, soft and kind. Her smile was sad, but warm. The moonlight filtering through the window above Soren’s bed reflected in her eyes, making them shine just like the little silver cuffs on her horns. “I am near, my love is here.” Lissa told him.
