historic wins
actor!eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
content: mentions of implied SA/uncomfortable agent, nothing else too serious. reader has anxiety before performing, eren being sick in love, baddie moment
an: when I tell you writing this chapter took ten years of my life, it really did. i literally had the worst day ever regardless BUT i regurgitated out and i can't tell if i hate it bc my mood is bad or bc its actually bad if its bad let all just collectively close our eyes please bc it ACTUALLY gave me a tension headache FDSFDSF
previous chapter
--
You knock on the door, the stress sitting on your shoulders, as you hear rustling behind the frame. When it swings open, you’re met with Marco and Reiner answering the doors, the two of them swiftly pulling you in and slamming the door shut behind you.
“Did anyone see you when you came in?” Reiner asks, his hand still pulling you up the stairs.
“No. Was-is there someone there or-”
“Paparazzi. They’ve been swarming since yesterday, we've barely been able to leave as it is.” Marco responds.
They drag you up the stairs and both push open the first white door open. You’re met with five pairs of eyes staring you down. Eren, Connie, Mikasa, Ymir, and Historia - who looks downright horrible.
You figured it was bad. You had seen the headlines on your way down - saying Historia was canceled, her trending on Twitter, her socials getting blocked. And you always thought that situations like this were sensationalized when you weren't famous, something horrible to go through. But it’s worse than you expected.
She looks sick.
Her complexion is pale green, her eyes rimmed red, and her hair is tangled into such a mess at the top of her head that it’s making your stomach turn.
The Historia you know - glimmering blue eyes, soft blow-dried hair - is no comparison to the downright ghost you’re looking at now. And the worst part of it all is her expression.
Broken. Defeated. Crushed.
You walk forward, opening your arms for her to sink into, and she immediately breaks out into sobs. She’s crying into your shoulder, her salty tears making a home against your skin and her cries so loud they're giving you goosebumps. You can see the rest of them behind you - Mikasa and Ymir sharing a knowing look - as Historia lets go and crawls back into the middle of her bed.
You take a seat next to Eren on the floor, the two of you crisscrossed against her pale pink walls. He links his hand with yours as you plop your head onto his shoulder.
“Is that everyone?”
“Yeah, Hisu. The rest of them couldn’t get off and Levi and Hange are on their way now.” Ymir responds, her hands making small circles into her back.
“Okay. I-I appreciate you coming, even when everyone hates me right now.”
“We could never hate you, Hisu. Ever.” Eren responds the tone definitive, angry, and firm. It only occurs to you now that you’ve never really seen Eren like this - his shoulders tensed up, the look in his eyes burning hot instead of softly warm.
“I know, I just-”
“No one could ever make us change our mind about you, Historia. The shit they’re saying doesn’t even sound like you. Why would you randomly fire your agent when you’ve literally loved him for years?” Reiner responds.
Historia’s face pales at the mention of her agent, the reaction catching all of you off guard. Eren pulls his arm around your shoulder as you both slump farther down the wall, the anticipation, the anxiety of what Historia’s about to say so palpable it makes your throat dry.
“I did fire my agent.” Historia chokes out.
You remember her agent well, from when you met him at the season two premiere. He was a tall guy, with chocolate brown hair and a fair amount of wrinkles. He couldn’t be much older than your own parents, but he was always the biggest supporter of Historia. The first person in line to brag about her, about how amazing her career has been, how many credits she has for how old she is.
“Why?” Connie asks.
Historia takes a deep breath, her head in her hands and her voice shaky as she starts explaining.
“I was set to act in Endless Love, that big movie being produced at the end of winter. I had gotten the lead role and I found out on my birthday, while I was still filming that limited series. I-I threw a big party to celebrate the fact that I was turning eighteen, that I was getting my dream roles, that my work was finally coming to fruition and-”
She pauses, leaning back on her bed as she screeches it out of her voice. And what she says hangs in the air, making your head feel like solid metal.
“The party ended and he was…congratulating me on everything. And I told him that I appreciated everything he had done for me, how far he had helped me come. And when-when I said that, he said…if I was really grateful, I’d give him a kiss.”
You pause, the implication sticking in your mind. Eren had hinted it to you before. That people in the industry take advantage, that they’re so powerful, so successful that it makes them feel entitled, deserving of whatever it is they please.
“I fired him. He went on Twitter, made a few tweets about my character when the news broke and you know how he is. They’re-they’re dragging my name through the mud. Calling me spoiled, that I paid to get the roles that I had, calling me names, sending me death threats and I-”
“You don’t have to worry about that. Levi and Hange will be here any minute and you know they’ve had their fair share of this. Hange especially and they’ll know what to do and-” Ymir starts.
“This is career-ruining. I didn’t do anything- anything at fucking all and my career is over if I tell the truth. I have to stay quiet, put my head down, and take it all if I still want to do this and I do.”
You all sit quietly, head down as she pants, the words angrily spilling out of her mouth. The words hang in the air, the silence deafening. Because what do you even say to that?
Can you really compromise your own feelings for the sake of your career? Your art?
“Okay, Historia. Let’s talk, just us, okay?”
You all turn your heads to find Levi and Hange leaning against the doorframes, Erwin standing at the back too. You all stand up, Historia running first to Hange and the rest of you following suit. You and Eren reach for Levi first, squeezing him way too hard. Levi ruffles both of your hair as you look up at him, a soft smile pressed against his face.
“Okay, run off. Let us talk to Historia first, okay?”
You both nod, letting go of Levi as you walk down the hall.
“Levi?”
“Hm, Y/N?”
“I missed you.”
“Don’t be corny, brat.” Levi responds, glaring at you. You smile back and he most definitely murmurs something that sounds like I miss you too as you and Eren walk out.
-
The lot of you settle for milling around the kitchen, Mikasa talking Ymir down from her hill of rage in the back. You can’t help but watch Eren in the back corner, leaning against the counter with his eyes fixed on the outside.
There’s a group of stormy, angry-looking gray clouds simmering in the air above, the grass outside lush and green. It’s positively gloomy, the weather matching the storm brewing in all of your heads.
Eren flicks his eyes over at you, making a gesture for the two of you to go outside. You nod, setting down your phone as you walk over to him, the two of you sliding open the side door and walking out onto the pavement. Historia’s house opens up onto a nice green field, surrounded by lush, flowery hills.
He’s walking faster than you, his long legs carrying him to the closest slope. When the breeze picks up, it’s moving through your hair strongly and sending a shiver down your spine with it.
“Are you cold?”
“Just a little, Eren. I didn’t realize it would be this cold outside.”
He immediately shrugs off his dark green hoodie, the one you’ve seen a hundred times, and yanks it over your head. He’s placing it over your head haphazardly and you can hear him laughing at your protests.
“You know, you could have at least aimed for my head when you yanked it on me.”
“Be quiet. Let’s sit.”
He plops down onto the grass, lying flat against the flowers as you join him. You’re both watching the clouds swirl above, the blades of grass whistling in the wind against your hands.
“This is lying down, Eren.”
“Oh, shut up. Do you always have to talk back?”
You turn your head to the side, looking into his eyes.
“Maybe a little bit.”
He rolls his eyes, turning his head back to the sky. You can tell he’s more tense than usual, his jaw clenched against his skull and his eyebrows knit in irritation.
“Are you okay, Eren? You've seemed off today and-”
“Quit asking me that!”
You’re thrown off by the immediate rejection, the tone in his voice so angry it nearly makes you flinch. You can feel your skin burning - in embarrassment and humiliation for asking him something stupid-
His hand comes down on yours, squeezing three times, as he shifts over to face you. You follow suit, the two of you lying on your sides, face to face with your interlocked hands in between you.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I-I’m not mad at you. Marco and Connie, they’ve just been asking all day and I’m okay and it’s just getting tiring to-”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I-I can never be mad at you, I just-just got frustrated for a second, but never at you.”
You lift your hand, placing it on his ice-cold cheek, and squeeze once.
“It’s okay, Eren. I know,” you whisper.
He gives you a smile, closing his eyes as he leans his head against the flowers. They’re pale yellow and you silently wonder if they’re as soft as Eren’s skin feels under your hand.
“I’m not okay, Y/N.” he whispers.
“Want to tell me about it?”
“I-I have a brother.”
“Zeke. I remember, Eren.”
“We-we don’t really get along anymore, but I loved him when I was a kid. He was always so cool - driving me around in his car to get ice cream, teaching me tricks on all the video games I used to play, and acting in all these really cool shows. But, he-he”
You place a hand on his shoulder, moving it back and forth and trying your best to comfort him into talking. Eren was always the worst with words.
“He had a scandal like this. And then he started talking to all these big producers, acting differently all of a sudden. He stopped talking to me all together after it all happened and only to my parents when he needed something. Even to this day, he’s come back from what happened but he was never the same. And I-”
“That’s not going to happen to Historia, Eren. Don’t think like that.”
He leans forward, dragging you into his embrace, as he digs his face into the crook of your neck. You bring your hands up, dragging him through the tresses of his brown hair as he squeezes harder.
“It just-I got iced out by him. I wanted to be around him, wanted to be him and he just stopped talking to me all together. I loved him so much and I-
“Eren. Historia loves you. She’s not going to ice you or any of us out from this because she’s not like that. None of us will. And maybe your brother had a reason for what he did.”
You and Eren stay like that for a few minutes, the words hanging in the air between you. You can feel your chest stinging at Eren’s words, his stress from the situation making more sense now. You curse the fact that Eren might have been dealing with something like death threats, people spewing hatred before he was old enough to even understand what it meant.
“Hey. You’re supposed to be on my side, Y/N.”
“This is being on your side. Sometimes that means being a devil's advocate a little bit, Eren.”
He rolls his eyes as he readjusts and you can’t help but stare at them. His eyes. Bottle green, with specks of darker shades in the middle. Like a clear ocean or a shiny gem, glittering even in the dull light of the clouds.
“What are you thinking, Y/N?”
“Your eyes have lots of colors, Eren. Pretty greens.”
“Pretty?”
“Pretty.”
He smiles, bringing a hand up to your cheek, his thumb tracing the shape of your lips. You can feel your body burning at the touch, at his eyes, at his smell all over you.
“Eren. What are you do-”
“Do you ever think about how we live in a fishbowl?”
“A fishbowl?”
“Like an aquarium. We’re fish on display, that everyone gets to point at and laugh at and enjoy. And then one day, when they don’t like us, they put their rods out and wring us out.”
“I guess, Eren. Why do you-”
“I like being a fish with you.”
You lean back, squinting your eyes at him.
“You like being a fish with me?”
“I just mean- that I- I like”
“You think I smell like a fish, Eren.”
“What? I didn’t say that- oh my god, I just meant that we’re two fishes swimming together and-”
“The plural of fish is fish. Not fishes.”
Eren rolls his eyes, getting up off the grass to tackle you in the grass, pinning you down by your arms to hover over you. He’s smirking at you, his lips only a few feet from yours.
“You’re annoying, Y/N. I was trying to be cute.”
“Let me go. Is this how you treat your fellow fish?”
“Shut up. We’re not fish together anymore because you’re rude.”
He gets up off of you, plopping back into the grass next to you. You’re both laughing, your cheeks hurting from smiling so hard and the blood rushing to your head.
“I’m just teasing, Eren. The whole fish thing is cute.”
“Now you’re just saying that so I’ll stop being mad at you.”
“Hey! I get what you’re saying. It’s like…we’re fish. People stare and talk and whatever and it sucks. And no one really understands what it’s like to be a fish, even when they’re staring at us through the glass, but you do. They’ll always be something between us and them, but you and I are always on the same side. We-we have each other.”
He smiles, bringing his hand back up on the back of your neck and pulling you closer to his face. When he talks, he whispers, the breath tickling your skin.
“So if you got the fish thing why were you giving me so much attitude about it?”
“I have to keep you in line, Eren. You can’t have all the cards.”
“I don’t even have one, Y/N. Not even one when it comes to you.”
He smiles, his eyes shut as he leans forward to press his lips to yours. But before he can, his phone starts buzzing behind him and he leans back, the two of you awkwardly scrambling off of each other.
The moment passed.
“Reiner. This better be something fucking good.”
“What? Okay, we’re coming back now. Oh my god.”
Eren stands up, holding out a hand to you. You place your hand in his and he nearly yanks you up, the two of you running downhill back to the house.
“What-what happened?”
“The TV awards. They announced the nominations.”
-
When you both run back in, Reiner and Marco immediately drag you to the center couch, next to Historia who's crying puddles and Ymir who's holding her like there’s no tomorrow.
“Hisu got a nomination. Despite this shit.” Reiner says, smiling.
You and Eren smile at each other too, piling onto Ymir and Historia, and squeezing hard. A win.
When the program starts again, you’re all staring intently at the screen, you and Eren anxiously fumbling with each other’s hands as you wait for it. They’ve announced almost all of them, except the major acting ones which are the only ones you and Eren could really be nominated for.
“Speaking of historic nominations, lead actor for hit series Attack on Titan, Eren Jaeger, has garnered three nominations - including a major six category for Actor in a Lead Role. He is the youngest person to be nominated for this award.”
You turn your head, squeezing the entire circulation out of Eren’s hand as the realization sinks in. Actor in a Lead Role. Like Eren’s lifelong dream, Actor in a Lead Role. You reach forward, tangling your arms around his neck as Reiner and Mikasa pile on too, the three of you nearly strangling him by the way you’re shaking him.
“Okay, okay let me go. You’re going to kill me before I can even go to the show and lose.”
“Shut up. You’re so winning.”
He rolls his eyes at you both keep watching the lady, announcing the costume design and casting awards.
“And finally, our record-breaking announcement. Lead actress for the hit series Attack on Titan, Y/N L/N, has broken history by being our most nominated actress in Institute history. Including nominations for the ensemble cast, she has garnered five nominations, including two major six categories for Actress in a Lead Role and Breakout Actress. She is the first non-SHWA affiliated actress and the youngest to ever do so.”
Eren drops the remote and turns to you, cupping your face in his hands and dragging your face as close as he can to his.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You-you’re insane. You just-”
He nearly leans forward, pressing your lips together for the second time in the past twenty minutes, but Marco and Mikasa cut him off before you can, the two of them jostling you from his embrace to squish you in a hug. You give Eren an apologetic look, which he shakes his head at.
They’re all squishing you so hard - Levi and Hange pressing kisses to the top of your head and Historia squeezing the life out of all of you - but all you can think about is one thing. Eren, standing a few feet away from you, smiling at you like you’re the sun.
It only occurs to you then and there.
That you’re in love with Eren Jaeger.
-
You guys leave on your press tour two weeks later, meeting up in New York. You have a full day of interviews for the pre-awards show the day before and then you’re all going to fly out to Los Angeles together and attend the awards.
Not only are you nominated for six awards - which you still haven’t wrapped your head around - you’re also performing at the show. Your agent had reached out to you a few days after the nominations list went out and mentioned that you were listed to perform at the show.
You hacked it out with Eren. You’d play the piano and perform New Year’s Day, the song you wrote together last year on your birthday, and be done with it. It’s the song you have the most practice working on since the rest of your songs are half-baked.
But now that you’re doing press, you barely have any time to practice - being stuck between interviews all day. You shake the thought from your head as you and Eren clip your microphone jacks to each other’s shirts before walking onto the stage and standing in view.
“My name is Eren Jaeger and I’m one of the leads of Attack on Titan.”
“My name is Y/N L/N and I’m the other lead of Attack on Titan. We’re going to be taking a Friendship Test today!”
Around halfway through the interview, the crew brings you and Eren little notepads and pens, instructing you guys to compliment each other. You scribble a few thoughts down as you and Eren stand on the stage, now facing each other.
“Okay, you first, Eren.”
Eren flips the notepad in his hands, awkwardly fumbling with his fingers when he does. When he looks up, his green eyes are awkwardly meeting yours.
“Jeez, Eren. I didn’t realize it would be this hard for you to compliment me.”
“Shut up. I was just thinking about how to start.”
“More like thinking of what to say.”
“Be quiet.”
“Okay, okay. Compliment me, Jaeger.”
He rolls his eyes, giving you a smile as he runs his eyes over the notepad. He seems much more at ease now, the awkwardness from before coming off in waves.
“Y/N. I am the most stubborn person on the planet. Which only speaks volumes about how patient, understanding, and compassionate you really are for being my best friend.”
You can feel your throat getting dry and your eyes welling with tears at literally the first sentence, taken aback by how sincere Eren’s being. The soft eyes, the one he only reserves for when he’s lying down on hills or writing songs with you on the piano are out in the flesh, and they’re making your heart pound so much you’re sweating under the lights.
“You’ve always been able to sense my feelings - my happiness, my frustrations, my pain - without me having to tell you. And you always, always know how to say the right thing to bring me back down to Earth from it all. You make me a better person and I love you for it.”
You can feel the tears streaming down your eyes as reach up to wipe your tears away, knowing you’re smudging the makeup your team spent hours on.
“You’re not terrible to look at either.”
He smiles into the camera on the side and you can feel the tears spilling from your eyes, your nose filling with snot.
“Eren.”
“Told you it was good.”
“Shut up. That was so sweet, I didn’t even know you knew half of those words, let alone what they mean.”
Eren reaches forward, rolling his eyes at you as he squishes your cheeks.
“I literally just called you the best person I know and you’re still being annoying?”
“Yes. It’s a full-time job.”
He turns to the camera, moving your squished face towards the camera with him.
“Do you guys see what I have to deal with? My girl is literally the most stubborn person on the planet.”
“Didn’t you call me infinitely patient five seconds ago?”
You both stand back on your marks as you wipe your tears, reaching forward to hold Eren’s hand. You squeeze three times, which he returns with another three squeezes, before you take your own notepad and read your compliment out to Eren.
“Eren. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for you. Not only because you took a chance on me after our first screen test, but every other hiccup along the way was only something I could swallow because of you. You-your steadfast determination and belief in me is something so inspiring, so warm unlike anything else. You’ve always been a safe place for me, somewhere I can always run to when I need someone. I’m so glad we can always be fish together.”
Eren smiles at the fish line, leaning forward to crush you in a hug. You can smell the clean laundry smell on his shirt, breathing it in as you soak in Eren’s embrace around you.
“Hey Y/N.”
“Hey Eren.”
“I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Eren.”
After the interview is over, you and Eren are stuck on this stage for another hour before the rest of the cast comes to do another interview. You both stay in the back, near the snack table and run through the song again.
“Eren.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t know why I got signed up to perform at this thing. I-I don’t think I’m ready to perform this song yet.”
“You are. New Year’s Day is a great song and you’re an amazing singer. Plus, the person you wrote the song about is really attractive, so that helps your case too.”
You reach forward to flick his cheek.
“Shut up. New Year’s Day is not about you.”
“I’m literally your inspiration. You literally wrote a love song about me.”
“You wish, Eren.”
“I don’t have to. I can see it written all over your face, sweetheart.”
“Sweetheart? When did you become so cocky?”
“When did you become so beautiful?”
“Eren.”
“Y/N.”
You’re both cut off by one of the crew members, a shorter, older woman standing near the table with her eyes fixed on you. She smiles when you guys both turn towards her, extending her out.
“Hi. My name is Le-”
“Leila. I remember. You helped us fix the microphone packs before we started!” you respond.
“Oh. Yes, Leila. I can’t believe you remembered that. I-I was going to ask you for a favor if that’s okay.”
“Sure. We’d love to help however we can.”
“My daughter. She’s a really, really big fan of the show. I was wondering if we could take a picture together so we could send it to her.”
You smile, gesturing to Eren to stand up with you as you take a picture with her. You and Eren are both taller than her so you put your hands around her shoulders and muster the biggest smiles you can for the picture.
“Are you sure you didn’t want us to make a video of us saying hi to her or anything? Or maybe call her if she’s free? If there’s a paper here we can sign something as well or anything you want.” you ask.
“Oh, I couldn’t impose. You guys have been so kind already and-”
“Nonsense. Eren and I are just going to sit here and I’d really love to help make her day. You work so hard day and night on these sets for us and make sure everything works by the time we get here and we really, really appreciate it.”
You and Eren end up filming a video for her daughter since she’s already asleep so you can’t call her, and you and Eren also sign a few posters for her to take home to her daughter.
“Y/N. Just so you know, you’re amazing. My daughter was so inspired when you signed yourself up to perform at the awards show after you openly talked about how nervous it makes you. You actually gave her the courage to sign up for a dance team at her school and she actually made it on the team now. My point is you’re a big inspiration to everyone and the strides you’re making for all of us don’t go unnoticed.”
She gives you both one last hug as she runs off back to the other side of the set, giving you a smile as she leaves. Eren brings his hand around your shoulder, leaning forward as he smiles at you.
“You hear that, Y/N? You’re an inspiration.”
“It’s weird to hear that, Eren. I remember being that kid watching Hange win on the screen when I was little. And if I win-”
“When. When you win.”
“If I win, it’s weird to think that I could be that for someone else.”
“You’ve always been that way. People are just noticing it now.”
“Do you have to sign yourself up to sing for the awards, by the way? Because…I never even told my agent that I had written a song. She just told me that I would be performing and then I started prepping.”
“Yeah. You have to send a demo for them to accept the performance.”
You lean back, even more confused than you were before. There’s no demo of New Year’s Day. How could they accept your performance if there’s no record of you singing it? How could they even know you wrote a song when the only person who knows you even finished it was Eren?
Eren.
“What did you do?”
“Hm?”
“You did something, Eren. What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Eren.”
“Maybe, I took the sheet music and recorded a demo of me singing it. And convinced them that it would sound even better when you did it, because it’s your song.”
You smack him across the shoulder.
“You signed me up to sing the song? In public, on live television?”
“The song is good. You’re a phenomenal singer. And you can’t become a triple threat unless people hear you sing.”
-
You stand on the other side of the curtain, shiny and gold, as you readjust your dress one last time. You take a deep breath as you give a smile to Marco and Jean, who are right behind you, squeezing your arms.
“You’re good. You look great and you’re going to kill it tonight. And Eren just walked out on the carpet so he’ll be right there.” Marco says, smiling brightly at you.
You nod, giving the two of them a smile back, as you part the curtains and walk out onto the red carpet. You can feel your ankles shaking from the heels you were wearing, making sure to walk slowly so they didn’t tangle with the long, purple billowing fabric of your dress. As you turn to the right, you’re immediately blinded by the flashing lights and the sound of screaming from the photographers on the other side of the red carpet.
The lights are so blinding that you can feel yourself squinting, trying your hardest to muster a smile with your eyes closed. You can already feel the embarrassment coming on from how these pictures are going to trend later, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Put these on.”
You turn to the left to see Eren, his hair messily styled to perfection. He’s holding up sunglasses, a matching pair in his hand as well. You both place them on your nose, garnering a big amount of cheers from the paparazzi as you both pose together, Eren’s hand around your waist.
“How did you know?” you whisper under your breath.
“You can barely handle Armin’s Polaroid. You get used to the flashes, but the first time it’s hard to adjust. And this is a big night, so I had to make sure I had a contingency plan.” he says.
“Always thinking ahead, huh?”
“Only for you, sweetheart.”
All you can think about is the awards, the performance, and the anxiety building in your stomach with every passing second. You force a smile as you both walk down the carpet, stopping every few seconds to take pictures and smile. At one point, Eren stands in front of you in the camera, blocking the view.
“What a picture, Eren. You really want them to get a shot of your ass?”
“No. Your dress. It’s kind of sliding off the side.”
You look down, realizing that in all the movement and sweating you’re doing under the lights, that one of the clasps keeping the fabric in place came undone. You quickly tuck the clasp back together and look up to shoot Eren a smile.
“Thanks. You just saved me from flashing everyone on the carpet.”
“That doesn’t sound too horrible, doll.”
You and Eren turn around to find Sukuna and Nobara standing at your side, the two of them wrapping their arms around you and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. Eren immediately yanks Sukuna off, his arm stiff around Sukuna’s shoulder.
“You never get less annoying, do you?” Eren asks.
“Not really, no.”
“You look really pretty, Y/N. We’re really rooting for you, we want you to win.” Nobara says, her hands squeezing yours.
“Don’t get your hopes up. These types of things are kind of a long shot, Kugi.”
“We know. Doesn’t stop me from rooting for you though.”
You smile, leaning to take a picture with her before the four of you walk off to the side, continuing your conversation.
“Where are Yuu and Maki? I haven’t seen them since they started dating and stopped responding to my texts.”
Sukuna and Nobara share an awkward look, leaning forward to whisper in your's and Eren’s ears.
“They broke up. Well, just wait. You know the mess they're in is going to find its way to the tabloids somehow.”
You and Eren cringe as you share a look, thinking about Historia’s scandal from a few weeks ago. You can’t imagine how much worse it must be when it involves the two of them. The intimate details of their relationship being on display.
“You look pretty, doll. Way more confident and self-assured than you were when I met you. It suits you.”
Eren slithers his hand around your waist, the grip firm, as he responds to Sukuna.
“She’s always been like that.”
“Okay, Eren. Pipe down. I’m not about to be swapping saliva with your girl anytime soon. Though you might want to get a move on that, everyone’s going to have their eyes on your girl by the end of the night.” Sukuna says, smirking at Eren.
“You sound disgusting, Sukuna. Like a pervert.” Nobara says, rolling her eyes at him.
“That’s what happened with Yuuta and Maki. Everyone went all gaga for Yuuta after the movie dropped. And after she sings too, Eren’s going to fight to stay afloat over here.”
“Ignore him, Eren. His neurons are decaying as we speak.” Nobara responds, giving Eren a smile.
“I’m well aware,” Eren says, giving the two of them a smile as they walk away.
As Sukuna walks away, Eren only tightens his grip on your waist, literally seething with anger as he turns to you. You can tell he’s burning, that he’s jealous or aggravated like he always is when Sukuna's around, and you put a hand on his shoulder.
“I hate that guy. So much, Y/N.”
“You know he just says that because you’re easy to piss off right?”
“Are you really taking his side?”
“I’m just saying. You give him a lot to work with when you react like that. You should try to be zen. Like a flower.”
"I'm so zen right now."
"There's a vein on your forehead that's pulsating from how hard you're clenching your jaw, Eren. You're more of a cactus than a pretty flower."
Eren rolls his eyes as he drags you into the auditorium, the two of you taking your seats at the front.
-
Five awards later - two of which you won - and you’re standing behind the stage ready to puke. You choked out your best acceptance speech when you won Breakout Actress, spilling tears as you spoke, and luckily enough the other award was one you and Eren won together. He carried most of your speech together, though Eren spent most of it raving about you.
Reiner’s still on stage, doing his acceptance speech for Breakout Actor and you’re ready to annihilate yourself. When you came back out after winning your award, getting ready for the performance, you received the worst news possible.
You have to play the piano while you sing. You have to play the piano while you sing because the pianist you’ve been practicing with has food poisoning.
You lie down flat on the ground, the silver dress you just put on, feeling heavy against your skin, weighing you down.
“Are you okay? Y/N, you’ll be fine, it's just a piano.”
Marco brings his hands to the side of your face, lifting your head so he can rest it on his lap. You’re totally aware of the fact that Marco’s sitting on this disgusting floor with you, in his expensive ass outfit, because you’re having a meltdown. You make a mental note to thank him for it later.
“Oh my fucking god, Y/N. Can you believe it? We’re literally breakout stars.”
You look up at Reiner, now having come off the stage with his shiny silver trophy in hand and a huge smile on his face. You give him a weak smile back, the pressure in your head only getting more intense when you realize it’s your turn. Reiner nearly cringes at the sight of you, which you ignore as you flutter your eyes shut. After the ad break, they’re going to roll out a shiny black piano you're expected to play.
“Get Eren.” Marco says and Reiner gives a swift nod. Reiner leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, whispering good luck, before he runs off into the background.
Not even thirty seconds later, you’re met with Eren, a third person now sitting on the dirty floor with you with the softest expression on his face. He’s taken both of your hands, pressing your knuckles to his lips as he presses a kiss onto them both.
“You okay?”
“The pianist. Has food poisoning. I have to play the New Year’s Day piano, Eren.”
“You have magic hands. You can do it.” he whispers.
You can feel Marco’s hands in your hair, fixing away the flyaways as you look up at him. Marco nods too and you can feel yourself feeling dizzy.
“I can’t do it. I can’t sing for the first time and play the piano. I-I can’t do this.”
"Y/N. Come on. You can do this."
You can feel the tears burning in your eyes when you meet Eren's bottle green ones, washed over in concern. And you know that it's just a piano, that it's juat a crowd, and that it's a song that you've sang a million times. But the anxiety is as big as a balloon, ready to burst into something ugly the second you walk out there under the lights.
Eren frowns as he looks over at the piano, getting rolled out onto the stage, and the crew awkwardly looking at you splayed out on the ground. They're pointing at their watches, signaling that if you're going to perform, you're going to do it now. And Eren can't let you choke, not when it's this important. So he does the only thing he can think of.
“I’ll play the piano."
You sit up and put your hands on his shoulders, squeezing hard on the fabric of his suit.
"Huh?"
"I'll sit at the bench with you. Play it for you so you can focus on singing."
“Really, Eren?” you whisper.
“Can’t do anything without me, can you?”
You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek, his face immediately turning pink at the sensation. He holds his hand out and helps you up, his hands leaning forward to fix the folds of your dress. You both stand on the side of the curtains and you’re nearly positive you’re cutting off circulation to both Marco and Eren’s hands as you wait for your cue.
When you and Eren walk out, taking your seats on the piano bench and adjusting the microphones, you stare at the crowd. There’s a light flashing on you and Eren that’s partially obstructing your vision. You’re staring out at them - two hundred faces you don’t know and half a million watching at home.
Don’t choke. Don’t choke. Don’t choke.
It’s only then that Eren stops playing the piano, his hand on his shoulder shaking you. And then you realize now that he had started. Meaning he had played the entire intro waiting for you to sing and you didn’t. That you blanked on stage. He places his hand on your chin, lightly guiding your face to look at his.
“It's okay. Just you and me. Like we did on set okay?”
You nod and Eren starts playing the piano again. And before you know it, you’ve choked out the last lyric, and Eren’s holding your hand as you both bow on the stage. You see people cheering, standing up out of their seats as you walk off and you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. When you get off into the curtains, they immediately start yank the microphones off of you two as you reach forward for Eren’s hand.
“I-I blacked out. Was it bad?”
“It was amazing. You’re amazing. You-you’re”
Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer like he can’t get enough of you.
When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other, foreheads pressed together.
“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit murder.”
“You want me so bad,” you say, sarcastically.
“Obviously.”
You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there are like seven people who just watched you suck face in public. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard.
“I love you guys.”
“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.
“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure out whatever is going on, without Connie and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.”
“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch.
“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.”
You both laugh, smiling at Marco and then each other. Levi and Mikasa call you from the other side of backstage, gesturing for you to come over to watch the video of the performance. You give Marco and Eren a smile before you run off to where they’re standing.
“Told you she liked you, Eren,” Marco says, elbowing him in the side.
“I love her,” Eren responds, watching Mikasa and Levi crush you in a hug as you all hunch over the video of you and Eren performing.
Marco smiles, giving Eren a pat on the back before he walks off to join you. Eren stays, trying to commit the memory to mind. You in a sparkly, silver dress looking at him like he's the sun.
Eren Jaeger is in love with you.
-
Two afterparties later and you and Eren are in a disgusting tattoo parlor down the street.
“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this, Eren.”
Eren smiles as he presses a kiss to your cheek, the two of you leaning through the little prints in the binder. You’re getting matching tattoos.
“I can be very persuasive.”
“Uh-huh. More like hypnotic. I’m half convinced you have me under some spell right now.”
“You pick what we do. Whatever you want, I’ll get it tattooed.”
“We should do something special, Eren. Like something that has significance to us.”
Eren smiles, lifting your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles again before he responds.
“Okay, okay. Let’s do fish.”
You smile, nodding at him.
“Koi fish. Like from that show, the Last Airbender. One fish is the ocean and the other one is the moon” you say.
“I call the ocean, Y/N.”
“What? I wanted to be the ocean.”
“No. That doesn’t fit.”
“Why not?”
“Because the moon pulls on the ocean. The waves in the ocean, objectively the best part, don’t exist without the moon. I’m the ocean. You’re my moon.”
You smile, leaning forward to kiss Eren before you tell the artist the design you two want. And when the two of you walk out, matching sore arms from the ink, you can’t help but wonder how you ever got so lucky in the first place.
A few years down the line, you stare at Eren's blocked contact and think back to that moment. The two of you running down the streets, bathed in dim lamplight laughing into the night. Matching tattoos, a confession on the tips of your tongues like you're two soulmates destined to be together.
You wonder where it got so fucked up between the two of you in the first place.
--
next part linked here
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