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My friend inspiring her friends to "Love Yourself"

hey tumblr, i ve seen something lately in this site that is really pissing me off

i understand that no one has a happy life and that when you feel like crap its the worst because IT was like this for me too, but

let me tell you something ive realized these last few days

and why i realized this.

please, it will be really important if you read it. keep in mind the warnings, tho.

so hey, heres the thing. before friday night, i used to think my life sucked hairy balls.

i would be constantly depressed and sad. i wouldnt accept anyones love because ive been deceived so many times i just couldnt trust anymore, so i was incredibly lonely.

since im a little overweight, my self-esteem was on the ground. and my parents werent rly nice parents, my friends werent really good friends, etc, etc stuff you go through when you are just starting your social life, right?

i have paranoia, so all these stuff would just be worst and worst and it would depress me even more but...

now i couldnt care less.

lets see: on friday night i had an accident. i lost tons of blood. i was pretty close to death. i almost died, truth be told, i saw the fucking lights. but i survived.

yay? no, fucking i wish i hadnt survived, because i lost half of my upper lip and completely lost the left corner of my mouth. beyond other stuff, of course, but this is the worst.

i lost half of my fucking face, and if it wasnt enough the fact that my mouth and jaw are completely disfigured, and that i will never have again the face i had until fridays night, my face,

the worst of all is, definitely, the life im living right now.

this life, you see, really sucks. im not saying my life sucks more than yours, or anything, but.

because of the blood loss, i am completely weak. i cant get up of bed without passing out. i can only get out of my house to go the hospital, with my dad or my grandma taking care of me, of course.

i cant move my mouth at all. i can barely speak. letters like "b" or "p" are so painful i have to pronounce "g" or "t" instead.

i cant eat solids, everything i eat needs to be processed and i can only eat it with a straw. this makes my recovery even slower, because i cant eat anything like meat.

i cant smoke, which is fucking HELL to me, because you can tell how anxious im constantly feeling, and i cant fucking smoke.

i cant take a bath by myself, because im so drugged with painkillers its difficult for me to move my arms, and of course how weak i am makes it dangerous.

everyone looks at me with pity, some people even cry, and i have to stay strong because i dont want them to feel bad for me either. im not that kind of person.

i cant even laugh. so when people say "cheer up!" i literally cant. its not like i feel like smiling. but if i did, i wouldnt be able to.

whats my point?

i used to think, just like you do now, that my life sucked.

but my life was perfect.

i know how much hurts having depression. having stupid parents. idiotic friends. being fat. being ugly. i know that.

but let me tell you something, when people say 'at least you've got good health' they are not saying just because.

its because not having money or having a fight with someone you love even if its hard, you can still solve it.

but something like this... cant be solved.

so all i ask you is to stop. stop feeling like youre worthless. stop wanting to take your life.

everything can be solved. everything. just think harder and try.

or forget about it.

you are not worthless.

your life is not meaningless.

dont wait until you lose what you have to fight.

stand. you hate your house? leave. had a fight with someone you love? talk to them. lost someone you love? think about how theyd feel if they knew you were depressed over them.

life is too beautiful to stop fighting.

before, i stopped fighting.

and now i wish i could be back in time, fighting for that life.

but now im going to fight for this life. if I can fight. if people with cancer. with HIV, with ELA, with any desease you imagine can fight, why cant you?

just think about it.

i wish someone told me this before.

thats why im telling you.

dont give up. :)

#tw: deppression #read ok #ok #tw: disfiguration #????

read please

ok. i need u my mom took my computer because i was really being I. i was sad on my work ( i really dont like it) and other things... and now i have two options: a) continue being me, and not have my computer or b) "become" happy and having my computer what would you do?

#text post #read ok #its so important for me #about me #nadia #flipenddo

#ooc #read ok

so my parent's made a good point.

they said all i do is sit on tumblr. everyday. which i know i do cuz i'm lazy. but my grades are really suffering & i'm trying to get more active to lose weight and feel better and shit and this isn't helping. i really want to be happy again and although you all make me really happy, i just can't spend so much time on here anymore. therefore, i'll be offline a lot more. message me if you read this and would possibly like to help w/ my blog since it's so time consuming.

#read ok