I Read This, and You Should, Too.
Seriously, if you haven’t read @bendingsignpost‘s talk series, you’re missing out. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1380490
Every now and then, I read something that inspires me to haul out Ye Olde (only 2 years old?!?!) Laptop and write something up. This is one of those times.
Earlier this year, I had the absolute pleasure of discovering @bendingsignpost on AO3. As I always do when I find an author I like, I proceeded to binge all of their (I’m not sure of their pronoun preference) Supernatural works. (They also write Sherlock and Detroit: Become Human, but I’m not familiar with those.) I spent a very enjoyable week or so of my maternity leave engrossed in all of the worlds they had created. Cinderwings was a wonderful retelling of the Cinderella tale I have heard, and Bed of Stone was the work that drew me in. Truly, read those as well. Read of of it. But first, read talk.
The first installment is Four Letter Word for Intercourse. Don’t let the title fool you, this has nothing to do with a crossword puzzle. (ssshhh, I spent the entire fic waiting for a crossword scene/joke that never came.) Join us as we watch Dean come to grips not only with being a thirty-something college freshman, but with his own bisexuality. Come for the smut, but stay for the intelligent, compassionate, realistic look into a journey that many of us have taken at some point in our lives.
The final installment in talk is A Little Anal. At this point, you should be aware of the double-meanings in the titles. (Quiet, I just now got the whole meaning.) Don’t get me wrong, I very much loved everything about this piece. It’s a perfect way to close out this little world. What really got me, though, was the way that mental illness was handled. Too often in today’s world, those of us with mental illness are regarded as “cute,” “quirky,” or “eccentric.” Don’t get me wrong, we can be those things, but that’s just the tip of our iceberg. Our daily struggles are minimized, and we’re made to feel like we should just “get over it.” It’s considered “cool” to be depressed, anxious, hyper-sexual, etc. We’re shown characters dealing with medication, but we’re never shown the side-effects. If we are, it’s something simple like sleepiness or dizziness, lessened appetite. We’re told that if one med doesn’t work, we can just try another one, and it will be fine.
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t always work that way.
Instead of just glossing over this, Ben gave a very accurate account of what it’s like to be in a sexual relationship with a partner you love, and yet have no physical desire for sex. Or to want it, but not be able to perform. Since this is a Destiel fic, there is of course a happy ending. Dean is a supportive, loving partner. It’s a lot of “how can I help, what can I do,” instead of “what’s wrong with you, why don’t you want me?” We see Cas struggle to communicate his needs and fears, without him being written as “less” simply because he’s dealing with anxiety.
That is what I loved about this series. I loved that it was accurate. I loved that instead of painting these two characters we all love with a one-size-fits-all brush of anxiety and self-loathing, we get two very different experiences. I love that they weren’t weak just because they were struggling. Their relationship wasn’t perfect. They had to work for what they had.
And that, my friends, is why this series is going to be in my Top Ten, probably forever. Read it. You won’t be disappointed.
