#reader has amnesia

[marianne-in-wonder1and]

Post-Overblot!Malleus Draconia with a Blind!Comatose!Amnesiac!F!Reader:

#Tags: Angst, post-overblot (not adhering to the plot of book 7), he feels guilty, you are in a coma, you have amnesia, he feels miserable, crying, recovery, you forget him, he waits for you, melancholic

Twisted Wonderland:

This isn't real. Malleus' heart is overflowing with fury at his own destiny and bitterness at the feeling of being separated from you. Why was it so, that each time he found something precious to himself, it got taken away? Such was the case with you. You found yourself in a coma. Why? All because of his own Idiocracy. Why did he allow himself to lose control and overblot, leaving you to suffer the consequences? Guilt gnaws away at his heart, leaving nothing behind except the remnants of what once used to be a blooming garden of love and hope.

You look so peaceful in your slumber. As if untouched by the wretches of time. Your skin is just as beautiful as it was the day you stopped responding to his cries. What must you have felt, unable to see anything, only hearing the angered wails of a hopeless, overblotted dragon, until even the liberty of consciousness was stolen from you. Can you hear his lamenting now?

He promised to be your eyes, yet he was the one who took away the rest of your senses, leaving you in a state of eternal slumber. Ironic, isn't it? And unlike in fairytales, where a true love's kiss awakens the prince's darling, and a happily ever after is seen, there's no fairytale, no righteous prince, nor a true love's kiss here. Such things don't exist. For beings of darkness like himself, is agony all that's left? Unspoken words, unexpressed sentiments of devotion — will he even get a chance to utter those words to you again? It doesn't help that this state of slumber cannot be reversed through magic. If it were possible, would he have not offered up all he had to the welkins?

He spends all his days by your side, holding your fragile hands to his chest, his lime eyes moistening. Suddenly, the view of your face becomes blurry. Dragons don't cry. They don't. They don't. Yet, this one finds himself weeping in misery, pressing frantic kisses to your hands with a shivering touch, uttering apologies as if they could pierce through the state of nothingness in your mind and reach your soul.

No one is allowed inside your chambers. Malleus guards it himself. Each time anyone tries to convince him to step out for a meal, or relax his mind by taking a walk, he finds his fists clenching tighter than ever and his bloodshot eyes fixing at the entrance, his teeth gritted. "Never."

The world seems to be dyed in sepia. The flowers have lost their vibrance, the rivers have become grey, and the flames have lost their hue. When he sees himself in a mirror, Malleus does not recognize the man reflected back to him. Is it the same prince, who was revered across all lands? Probably not. What's reflected is a shell of what he used to be.

So, after all this time, when he saw your eyes flutter open weakly, their familiar haziness coming to light, would he have not been ecstatic? He sat up straight, his hands grasping yours tightly in a desperate attempt to ground himself to reality. To reassure himself, from your rhythmatic pulse, that you're here.

As you sat up slowly, your hair tumbled in front. Malleus' hand shot out to adjust it behind your ear, his red-rimmed eyes taking in the sight of your confused face. You're here. You're really here. And you're awake. The wait is ov—

"... Do I know you?" With your lips curled in a sweet, sheepish smile, those words pierced through the cloud of ecstasy that had surrounded Malleus' void of a heart in an attempt to tend it. A choked sob escaped his throat as his eyes widened, his hand shooting out to gently cup your jaw. "Malleus... Malleus Draconia. Does it ring a bell?"

Your hazy gaze settled ahead of you, your lips pursed in heartbreaking concentration as you tried to remember. "Malleus...? I'm sorry, I don't really... remember." His world came crashing down, the delicate cement of hope unable to keep it up any longer. What a cruel trick fate had played. You had no recollection of Malleus. "Oh, my! Are you crying?"

His arms guided your head to his chest as he inhaled your scent deeply, his hand brushing over your hair. Please say yes. Please say that you remember. Please say that his scent made you rememb—

"I think... I think the name Malleus is a very beautiful name," you smiled up at him, "it gives me a sense of warmth. I feel like I've known you forever." Oh, Lord.

Your soft hands explored his face, gently touching his features. His nose, eyes, lips, jaw, hair. Oh, he had pointed ears and horns too! How... odd. It feels so familiar. He feels so familiar. Yet, you can't just remember how. You felt his arms tightening around you, his cheeks becoming wet again. You didn't like hearing him cry. It made a strange feeling settle at the bottom of your chest.

"Why are you crying, Mr. Malleus?" You softly smiled, your hands wiping away his tears. Malleus grasped your wrist gently, kissing your palm. "I am your boyfriend. Do you really not remember?" You gasped, your eyes widening, "you are?"

"Yes, I am. All because of me, your memories..." Malleus murmured, sinking his head onto your shoulder. Your soft hands hesitantly felt around for his head, patting it slowly as you smiled. "There, there, it's okay. I don't really remember, but I have a feeling that you were someone I treasured a lot."

Oh, look at you. Even after suffering so much, your first instinct was to offer him support and reassurance. How could he ever undo what he had done? He feels terr—

"Can you... Can you help me remember?" Your small voice reached his fae ears, his eyes fixing on your face. "I want to remember. I— I really do. I just don't know how..."

It was as if something changed. His self-hate could wait. It was far more important to first restore your memories. His hands cupped your face, his eyes shining with love. "Leave it to me. I shall make you remember every bit." You smiled brightly at him, touching his hand. "Thank you so much."

Ever since then? Malleus has been trying his best to help you remember. He sits with you all day, letting you bask in his scent to try and remind you of the way you used to steal his cloak and wear it to carry his scent with you. He gives you ice-cream with your meals to try and remind you of how you used to sneak out with him for dates at his favourite ice-cream place.

"Can I say something?" You smile at him. He pats your head — a gesture of affection, he has come to realize, is the best for now— with a smile, "go on." You shyly giggle, "I think I like your voice." Tears threaten to fill his gaze again as he looks at you, taking in your giddy expression. You sure do. "I am glad you like it." Oh, the nights you used to spend, cuddled up with him, hearing him murmur affectionate words in your ears because you loved his voice.

Other times, you request Malleus to tell you how his name is spelled. Gently taking your hand in his, Malleus would slowly write in your palm, with his finger, the letters of his name. M. A. L. L. E. U. S. Oh. It's so familiar. You love it! At your childish excitement, the lump in Malleus' throat refuses to vanish, yet he forces a chuckle out to not dampen your mood. Step by step, you can do it. You're his strong girl, aren't you?

Slowly but surely, he's working his way through. Perhaps, this is atonement for his sin. His sin of being the reason behind your suffering. He'll wait. Wait as long as you need to remember him. Wait as long as you can call him Malleus again and not Mr. Draconia. After all, it isn't easy to populate an empty garden so quickly. Just as you sow the seeds, give them what they need, and wait for them to bloom — he'll do the same for you. And perhaps, one day, the garden of his heart shall bloom with flowers again.

Thank you for reading this! It's my first time writing angst xD I hope you enjoyed it! Malleus sends you some flowers 💐 Do send requests for more! 💚

[lesbojournals]

Ichor Part Two (Stucky x Kidnapped with Amnesia!Reader)

part one here

It took time to adjust to your new setting. You continued to squint at the bright fluorescent lighting, so much so that your nurse gave you sunglasses. Your doctor, Dr. Cho was it? she kept talking to you, but it all sounded like someone was talking through a haze of jello. 

You felt your hearing come back slowly, and with the awakening out of your dissociative state, you quickly reached to take out the oxygen tube up your nose. Dr. Cho grabbed your hand gently, giving you a small smile whilst you stared at her in terror.

“It’s okay,” She promised. “Can you hear me?”

You blinked a few times and subtly nodded, enough so that Dr. Cho caught it.

“I’m glad,” She said. “That must’ve been really scary.” You said nothing in response. You’ve been taught too many times not to speak unless given permission.

Dr. Cho rubbed the back of your hand with her thumb as you both sat in silence.

“Do you want this off?” She spoke, pointing to your oxygen tube.

You just stared back blankly in response. Who knew what consequence would come from your answer?

“Do you know Leona? She told me you needed permission to speak. I need you to know those rules don’t apply here–you don’t have to listen to any nonsense like that. You can speak whenever, however you want, okay?” 

You frowned at the mention of Leona talking about you. Was that any of her business? You realized after a moment that Dr. Cho was still waiting on a response from you. You avoided eye  contact and looked at your lap, nodding. 

“I’m going to ask you some routine questions, okay?”

You nodded once again.

During the examination, your eyes drew themselves to the door, where you could make out two large silhouettes on the other side. Had they been there the whole time?

Dr. Cho noticed this, and held your hand a little tighter. “Are you ready to see them?”

You looked at her in confusion, and she seemed to pick up on this, concern drawing itself all over her face. She took her hand from yours and feverishly started to write things down in her notebook.

“Do you know who I’m talking about?”

You struggled to shake your head negatively, but did it anyways.

She sighed. “Do you recognize me?”

You averted your gaze and shook your head negatively again. Dr. Cho let out a nervous exhale.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” She firmly grabbed your hand while she spoke and let it go to exit the room. 

As the door slid open you immediately made eye contact with the men behind the door, eyes bouncing from one man to the other back and forth. You nervously looked away, trying to block out the feelings that were bubbling in your chest. What was that? You went to look back, but the door had already been closed. It felt like you were going to throw up. 

Seconds passed before the door opened again, and the two men stormed in against the wishes of Dr. Cho, who yelled, “Wait! Enough!!”

“Do you know who we are?” One of the men asked in a whisper, looking angry and defeated. He had shoulder length brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He was dressed like he was ready to go off into battle in a second.

The other man looked at you expectantly. He had dirty blonde hair that swept across his head in a clean style. His beard was full, and he also had blue eyes, but his were stormier. He was dressed in casual clothes, or clothes you noticed that you might wear for your training.

Dr. Cho chimed in. “He asked you a question, honey.” 

You looked at her, then back at the first man, then back at her. You shook your head negatively.

“You don’t…” The blonde man looked scared, which you assumed wasn’t something he felt often. “You don’t remember us?”

You gulped and fiddled with the blanket over your lap. Your mind, in an attempt to save yourself from the intense emotions in the room, focused at the task at hand. You were in a new location–Dr. Cho had told you you were saved. All you knew was living in the laboratory, so what did saved really entail? You could get this emotion out in training. Leona would rip you a new one, beating you to the ground, but it would help you forget whatever was happening at this moment.

So, in an attempt to make things better, you spoke. “When’s training?”

You hadn’t noticed that you interrupted a conversation between the two men and Dr. Cho, you must’ve dissociated. Your voice broke the conversation in whole, silence enveloping the room.

“Training?” The brunet breathed out. 

You nodded. Dr. Cho gave you a pitiful look.

“Leona told me about the training you’d have to do with each other, and so did Claire. You don’t have to do any of that here.” Dr. Cho said. 

The two men gave each other a look, and the one walked off. Dr. Cho looked at him in alarm, and sped after him, yelling at him to leave her patients alone.

The brown haired man and you stayed in the room, and you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by his presence. How did you know him? You reminded yourself that Dr. Cho said you could speak, that you could say whatever you wanted, and you tried to gather the bravery to say something to him.

“I knew you.” You said to him, getting his angry expression to turn soft. “Before.”

He sat down in the chair next to you, letting out a heavy sigh. “You did.”

It stayed quiet for the next few minutes, and you desperately searched in your brain for something, anything, that would give you a hint as to who he was. 

“What do they call you?” You asked. You knew you, Leona, and Claire all had your given name, and your laboratory name. 1, 2, and 3. You were 1, Leona was 2, and Claire was 3. Did it go this way outside of the laboratory? Did everyone have two names? You could feel in your bones that being called a number wasn’t correct. 

The man tilted his head in confusion. “My name’s Bucky.” 

“Bucky.” You repeated. 

He nodded. “Do you know your name?”

This was a trick question. It had to be. You sat there, debating what to say for a second or two. Bucky didn’t seem like the guy to be asking trick questions. But you’d heard Do you know your name? too many times before disaster. You knew the other girls likely felt the same way. 

Bucky didn’t seem patient. “Do you?”

You let out an exhale, you supposed it was time to test the legitimacy of being saved after all. “Yes.”

And so you told him your name, no number, just your pure name.

Bucky relaxed, and he sat back in his seat, refusing to take his eyes off of you.

-

Steve sped as fast as he could to Leona’s room. When the door didn’t slide open at his palm, he debated slamming the door open himself.

Dr. Cho moved in front of Steve, catching her breath from running so fast. 

“Steve,” she said. “I won’t let you harass her.” 

He shot Dr. Cho daggers. “You knew that she knows what happened to my girlfriend and you decided to keep it from me? I’ll ask her myself.”

“I refuse to let you in there, Steve.” She stood her ground, and just when Steve was about to argue further, Leona’s door opened, her angrily behind it.

She had a stupid smirk on her face, though her eyes were filled with rage. “Talking about me? You know, you could’ve just knocked.”

Steve gave Dr. Cho a glare and followed Leona into her room. 

“Leona,” Dr. Cho said. “You don’t have to have visitors if you don’t want to.”

Leona scoffed, shakily getting back into her bed. “He wants to know about number 1, who am I to deny such knowledge?”

“Number 1?” Steve questioned, folding his arms across his chest. 

Leona rolled her eyes. “Your precious girl. That was her name, y’know, back in the lab.”

Before Steve could question further, Leona turned to Dr. Cho. “You can leave us, I can handle it.”

Dr. Cho reluctantly left the room, though Steve could see her silhouette waiting in the hallway. 

Leona leaned back into her pillows, reaching for her IV to plug it back in to the tube in her arm. She sighed in relief. 

“Number 1 always gets special treatment, even here. I bet they have her on the good stuff, not this crap.” She pointed to the fluid bag. 

“Don’t call her that.” Steve demanded.

Leona seemed to find joy in Steve’s fury. “We all have numbers, she’s number 1, I’m number 2, and you heard number 3 whining on the jet.”

“What do you want to know?” She baited before Steve could argue further about the numbers.

Steve lifted his chin, attempting to be as strong as he could in his stance. “What do you know about what happened to her?”