A taste of his own medicine
Criston Cole (House of the Dragon) & male reader omorashi.
Summary: Criston makes new rules where it's nearly impossible for knights to relieve themselves. The reader makes sure he regrets it.
"Y/n."
I turned when I heard Criston Cole saying my name. I fought every urge to look displeased by his presence. Everyone, myself included, was pissed off at him.
"Yes?"
"Fetch me some water will you, boy?"
"Right away ser." I smiled as I turned to walk off, having already planned what I was going to go.
Because Criston didn't do his job, we all got punished for it. Breaks for knights or Kingsguards were nearly impossible. Men would stand in line for the bathrooms for up to an hour.
But Cole? I had never witnessed him in such a situation. That needed to change.
I went back to my room and grabbed some dandelions I had saved for this very purpose. It's something I had heard of people doing, putting them in someone's water to make them have to piss more. I knew Cole had to oversee training today which meant he couldn't leave. Perfect.
I smiled at the thought of Cole squirming, about to wet himself like almost everyone, myself included, had at some point.
I hurriedly brought back the pitcher of water to Cole. "Here you go."
"Are you ready to oversee training with me?"
I tried not to sound too excited but I was more than ready. "Whenever you are Ser." I said with a smile as I followed him. He had been on a mission earlier so I noticed him drinking quite a bit.
When we got to the training grounds, I started to notice that Cole looked somewhat uncomfortable. I couldn't resist the urge to ask him about it.
"Is everything alright Cole?" I asked innocently.
"It's been a long day, y/n. I had to investigate these men who were said to be spies for the blacks. Turns out the claims were false so it was a huge waste of my time."
"It's hot too." I commented, knowing that would mean he needed to drink more.
"Indeed." As if he read my mind, he took a long drink from the cup I brought him. "A poor day for training if you ask me."
He finished the rest of the water in one drink and I smiled to myself. In an hour, training would pause so everyone could get a break but that would mean he had to wait in line just like everyone else. InU the entire time I had been a Kingsguard, I had never seen him desperate for a piss. Not yet anyway.
I didn't feel the slightest bit bad that I was likely going to humiliate him. This entire situation was due to his negligence anyways. I heard a few rumors stating he was in the company of Alicent that night prince Jaeherys was murdered.
Did I believe it? Absolutely.
I continued to watch the men training below me when out of the corner of my eye I noticed Criston was starting to appear rather uncomfortable. I had heard that dandelions caused an urgency to piss but I had never witnessed it first hand.
I was starting to feel excited at the thought of watching him suffer like we had all been forced to. If the gods were on my side today, maybe he would piss himself in front of all the other knights.
"Are you feeling alright?" I couldn't help but ask when I noticed he was starting to move around moreso than usual.
"I'm fine, y/n. Why?" He looked at me like he had been caught. My suspicions were confirmed.
"You just seem a bit distracted today." I shrugged it off and sat down, noticing that he was starting to sweat already.
"I'm a bit...unwell." Criston shifted his weight slightly, looking visibly uncomfortable. He looked down at the privys kept near the training area but there was already a long line.
I imagined he was weighing the pros and cons of getting in line now or trying to hold it for another hour when training ended.
"Perhaps something to drink would help?" I innocently offered.
He shut that down almost instantly and shook his head. "I appreciate the offer but I'm fine."
I made sure he could see me when I took a drink of water. He hurriedly looked away and shifted once again.
"Why don't you sit?"
Criston did so but I noticed the way he flinched when he initially sat down. He immediately crossed his legs in a way that wouldn't draw suspicion from anyone else but I knew exactly what was going on.
He continued to fidget and I swore I heard him gasp at some point.
By now training was nearly over so I knew he would probably be too proud to dismiss himself now and look as desperate as he clearly was.
I turned away and smiled. This is exactly what he deserved. He deserved to wet himself as he had forced most of- if not all of us to do so.
"I'll return shortly." Cole abruptly stood up and started hastily walking away towards the palace. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to see him crumble, I followed behind him.
I made sure I was quiet so he didn't see or hear me. As soon as he thought he was alone, he hunched over and tried to grab between his legs but his armor prevented him from doing so.
The nearest place he could relieve himself was still a long walk away so I started to doubt he was going to make it.
He groaned audibly and started walking faster, almost making it halfway across the room before he stopped in his tracks.
Even as far away as I was, I could hear the sound of piss hitting his armor full force. There was nothing he could do to stop it, even as he fell to his knees and tried frantically to stop the flow but to no avail.
He sat there, puddle spreading around him while he audibly sighed in relief.
I turned when I heard the sound of the doors opening. Then I realized something...training had ended. They were all about to see Cole sitting on the ground in a puddle of his own piss.
He quickly stood back up and stepped away from the puddle he made but it was obvious what had transpired while they were training.
"Serves you right." One of the men towards the back shouted.
"Yeah, how does it feel pretty boy?" Another man called.
It wasn't long before they were all hurling insults at him.
I turned away to head back to my room. I needed to make sure and keep dandelions with me at all time if I ever needed them again.
After that, the rules about taking breaks were lightened tremendously, making it easier for us all to go when we needed to.















