#reader x caleb xia

[gloxym]

Can't bring myself to write things. But I did have a few ideas running around in my head. Though they're mostly my OC's in mind, they can be adjusted for some Nondescript MC/Non-MC's.

One that has been in my head was a Non-MC styled fake marriage!au with Caleb. (AFAB!reader btw sorry)

edit: Oh jeez I wrote a lot. MY BAD.

Starts off with non!mc's/your pov where you first meet Caleb. You weren't in the best situation, your parents unfortunately passed away in a car crash and you were living with your uncle for a while. It was all fine, but unfortunately he got into drinking, drugs and gambling that made living with him difficult.

He never hurt you or let harm come to you physically, he was still someone that loved you dearly, but he was pretty messed up and when he couldn't afford to keep you in school, you just stopped going. When his "friends" were over, you had to pretend to be a boy so that they wouldn't leer at you or make you feel more uncomfortable than you already were.

In order to help with making money, you took on odd jobs here and there before settling with making stuffed animals and dolls up until you were old enough to get a more secure job working at convenience store an hour away.

Your uncle gets in a particularly bad mood and sensing he was going to start getting upset over any little thing and start ranting and shouting, you leave and head to work far earlier than you needed to.

You're waiting for the store to open up, hungry and exhausted and that's when you meet Caleb. You can't help but see past the mask he wears, sensing something behind the smile he offers to you as he asks if you're alright. You notice the bags beneath his eyes, seeing more of an exhausted shell rather than the normal man he was trying to be.

But you don't say anything, you don't comment on it. You simply tell him you're just waiting for the store to open so you can start your job. He asks when it starts and you hesitate, admitting that it won't be for another couple hours. In the middle of that, your stomach rumbles, flustered with how loud it is.

He offers to feed you and you accept after some thought. At worst, you pay for yourself so you already plan on eating light and at best, you get to at least have some company when you eat.

He takes you somewhere cheap but very familiar, something that puts you at ease. He's already pulling out his card, telling you that if you had any doubts, he was willing to pay all of it before the order is even made. It's a nice gesture and so you indulge a bit.

You sit, strike up a conversation with him as you both wait for the food to arrive. It's light at first, simple things like the weather and the ambience of the restaurant, until the food arrives and you eat like you haven't had a good meal in a long time (which you haven't).

He notices, taking in your appearance and the way you carry yourself. That's when he starts to probe a little into your life, you offer answers casually because you don't really think you'd ever see him. You tell him between bites about how you've lived up until now. Your teenage years were the hardest to survive since your parents died when you were still a child. Your uncle was fine until you were about thirteen, but the lifestyle that he was living made it difficult for you.

And now you're uneducated and working just to survive and maybe help pay off some of his debts. He never asked you to, but it was something you wanted to do since you didn't really think about yourself that often. You were alive, maybe that's all you really needed to be.

Caleb doesn't really say anything after that, but after you both finish your meal, he offers something that leaves you speechless. He offers to marry you, allowing you to move out of that space and somewhere better. Even if you're fine with the way things are, he feels it'd be far better than surviving. That you'd get a chance to live and on the off chance your uncle dies, the debt collectors won't be able to come after you.

You didn't consider his lifestyle that disturbed until you realize how naive you were. Just because your uncle protected you didn't mean you were safe. Why else pretend to be a boy in the first place, right? If they found out you were a girl, they'd do something worse to you and maybe even him?

But you don't really understand why Caleb would suggest something like that. And when you ask, he only smiles. You don't really need to know the reason; he's a broken man underneath after all. No one sane enough would offer marriage to someone they just met.

And no one sane enough would accept.

You get married to him. On paper, you both are wed and the only kiss you share is in front of a judge. Your uncle is a witness and Caleb even got some random person to pretend they were related.

It's weird, but on paper you're married. You move in with him to Skyhaven. Room and board, with all the food you could ask for. You don't consummate the marriage, he never touches you like that. You both have separate bedrooms and he pays for everything you want or need.

Overtime he teaches you all the things you missed in high school. He helps you get an education and teaches you how to cook. He offers everything you could ask for, but you never step over the line, feeling like you owe him far too much for everything he's done for you.

Overtime you start learning more about the kind of person he is and the burdens he carries. You learn about a love he clings onto that fuels his desires to be better. You learn about his past and the things he's been through and the things he's done.

Overtime, without meaning to, you fall in love with everything that he is. And you selfishly hope you can keep living the little fantasy of marriage, even if you never get more than what you have.

In this AU, MC takes a couple years to accidentally find Caleb. So, this fake marriage has lasted at most 2 years, pushing 3.

When MC returns to his life, his first love, you realize that fantasy can never really last. You know how much he loves her. You know that he calls out her name when he's stuck in his nightmares. You never hated the pendant he keeps for her, the one that guides him back home. You know the meaning of keeping something that means to you so close to your heart, only offering your own wish for his safe return by adding a golden apple to go alongside it.

You never pushed him to put it there, even offering that he could just keep it in his pocket instead or have it somewhere else, but he did.

You notice he spends more time working. Late nights and early mornings. He withdraws a bit more and he's quicker to look at his phone when a notification pops up. You don't question it, it wasn't like you were in a real relationship with him, but you also can't help but feel a bit melancholic when you know that it's because of her.

He never tells you it's her, but you learned about him enough to just know.

You overhear a conversation he's having with her one night in his office, about making plans to take her to the amusement park and that he was getting a day off work to take her.

It pains you, but you try not to let it consume you. You accepted that your love was one-sided and this marriage was never meant to last. It wasn't even real to begin with, the ring on your finger is worth less than a lavish meal at a restaurant. A choice you insisted on, considering the circumstances.

You accidentally bump your head against the wall when you try to sneak away and when he catches you, you lie that your stomach was hurting. He doesn't ask if you overheard him and you don't mention it either.

The following day, when he tells you he has work, you let him leave and wait a while before following him out. You want to see with your own eyes who she is and how he is around her. Not out of spite, but to see with your very own eyes that you should stop this little fiasco and move forward.

And when you do, when you see a smile you never saw on him before and hear a laugh you never heard, you understand. You see what could be and what you're in the way of.

It breaks your heart, but you needed to see that he was never going to be yours. And that's okay.

You make it home before he does and notice you have several missed messages and calls from Caleb. He was simply asking for updates on how you were feeling, with voicemails reminding you about staying hydrated and eating light food if your stomach was hurting that much. It's sweet and you wish you didn't love him as much as you did.

You allow yourself to cry. To grieve. To accept that his happiness is far more important and perhaps the only way you can repay him for everything he's done for you.

The next morning, before he leaves for work, you ask him if you can talk. He's in a rush, but he stalls a bit when notices the tone in your voice. You can't bring yourself to tell him anything, but you do resolve yourself that you'll tell him when he has time.

A few days pass when he finally has time and you tell him that you were planning on finding work. He questions you and your sudden motivation to find work but you carefully answer them that you were noticing he was simply working more and although you were content, you felt like maybe it was time for a change of pace. You wanted to socialize more and feel a bit more independent.

You see him hesitate, but ultimately he accepts the answer and even offers to help you find work. You tell him you need to do it on your own. You have to, or else you won't feel like you've done it at all. Even if the real reason was that you were already planning to learn to do things without him in your life anymore.

And so you do. You learn how to live without him in your life. You don't ask for his help. You get an entry level job that you can take a transport service for. You learn to live as if he wasn't in your life.

You also are trying to make enough money to move out. That you know you can't stay in his home anymore. A home that never truly was yours to begin with.

You start looking for places on the sly, trying to find somewhere cheap enough to move to that was at least a decent commute. You don't find anything yet, but as you're looking, he comes home and you try to hide what you've been searching for.

He notices and asks you what you were doing and so you lie. You tell him that you were looking for some story you read but can't remember the name of. He's unconvinced, so he prods you a bit and asks if you remember anything of it.

So you tell him it was a period drama. A lovely courtesan who lost her beloved in a war and lonely duke that offers to buy out her contract. He offers her a place to stay and provides for her without ever asking anything from her. He knows he's falling in love with her and a part of him hates that she can't let go of the one she lost. But, he never pushes his love onto her, never pressures her to love him back. He already knows he can't compete with a heart that already belongs to another. He can only offer comfort so that the burden of loss doesn't consume her.

But one day, her beloved returns to her. After years of living with the Duke, she can't help but feel relief seeing him again. And the Duke lets her go, even if it hurts him. Even if it breaks his heart, he wants nothing more than for her chance to truly be happy. Because to him, love is letting go.

Caleb stays quiet for a while, your own feelings bleeding into the story more than they should have as you look into his eyes. He says that if the Duke tried to tell her his feelings, perhaps he might have gotten a different outcome.

You say that the Duke might have been afraid. That even if he loved her as much as he did, he might not have survived to hear the rejection out right.

Caleb says that he might not have been rejected. And if he was, at the very least he could say that he tried. That she might have learned that she fell in love with him if he simply confessed.

You smile, staring deep into his eyes as he watches you. You tell him that when the Duke sees how truly happy she is, confessing would only ruin it.

You both stare at each other for a while before his phone goes off and he breaks off the connection, saying he has to go back to work. He hopes you find your story before he leaves and you just sit there, trying not to let his words get to you.

You don't let yourself hope. You know what position you were in and you accept it by trying to live without him.

And you can't help but notice that he's noticing it. The day you bought a step stool so that you could reach for the stuff on the higher cabinets is the day he freezes when he sees it. You see the way his back straightens and his shoulder quakes ever so slightly. You hear the tightness in his voice as he tries to nonchalantly ask you why you bought it if he was there, but you tell him that when he's on long missions, it would be silly to ask him to take down some of the appliances you wanted to use.

You never see his face when he asks about it, but you can't help but wonder why it bothered him so much. Why your answer made his voice shake when he responded with a "that makes sense".

He asks about work over dinner. He asks how you're doing. He asks and pries a little into the life you are living without him in it and you answer honestly that it's fun. That you are happy. But you don't tell him that you don't really speak about him. That you don't involve yourself when your coworkers speak about their spouses and wish you had stories you could share.

You don't tell him that they know you're married, but that you don't talk about it. That they ask if you have any pictures and you answer that you don't really take them. That they gossip if you're actually married behind your back.

You don't tell him that it's better for you to pretend he's not really in your life when you're at work than feel the longing of what could be and what isn't.

You know he spends more time with her than you. You know that they're meant to be and you hope that you can make enough to move out and finally divorce him so that he could be happy.

But you can't understand why he hasn't mentioned anything about divorcing. You wonder if it's guilt. You wonder if it's shame that holds him back?

But you don't ask. You never ask. If it means you can linger in his life just a little longer, then you don't bring it up.

You spend time with him one weekend. It's just the two of you and you're doing domestic things. Shopping for groceries or eating at the few restaurants that Skyhaven has. You enjoy your time with him as you settle on the couch and watch some drama that looked mildly interesting.

His phone goes off and you watch him frown before telling you that he'll be a few hours but he'll return. You don't question him but just before he's out the door, he turns to you and tells you to wait up for him. He will be back.

And you do. But he never comes back and you're not feeling well. You realize that you might have been sick without realizing it, confusing the symptoms with allergies or potentially something questionable you ate. Perhaps a few things that didn't mix well.

You're puking in the toilet, feeling like death. You can't even get up and so you pull the towels together to make a make-shift bed because getting up seems impossible. And still he doesn't return.

By early morning, you're well enough to get up but barely. You're hobbling around and finding your phone to call emergency services. You're taken to the hospital to get treated for food poisoning. Whatever you ate just didn't really agree with you at all and you're relieved.

Caleb was called and he rushed to your side, wearing last night's clothes, looking disheveled and worn out, but impossibly worried. You don't question why he was gone for so long. You don't question the perfume on his clothes nor stains on his shirt from runny mascara. You're just surprised he was there, apologizing for not coming back sooner and frustrated that you didn't call.

You don't say much, just sheepishly tell him that you're fine. And it almost looks like he wants you to say more. To question him. To make him tell you where he was and be angry. But you don't. You just hold his hand and rest in the hospital bed before they release you.

He doesn't leave your side when he takes you home. He carries you inside and makes you comfortable on the couch. He fusses over you, spoon feeding you and provides care. You think it's too much, but when you open your mouth to tell him that, he shoots you a look that stops your voice.

He doesn't say anything about the towels in the bathroom. He doesn't say anything about how you didn't message or call him. He simply stays with you and for the first time in years, you sleep in his embrace as he holds you close.

After several days, you're all better and getting ready for work, he asks you why you didn't call. You tell him that you just thought he was really busy since he said he was returning but didn't. That whatever he was dealing with was important.

He whispers so softly that you almost miss it, but he says "it wasn't" and like before, you pretend you didn't hear it. You don't question it and you simply continue to get ready for work.

Time passes and you're sure you have enough money to move out. There's a place that isn't the greatest, older and worn with most of the modern luxuries you've grown accustomed to non-existent, but it's close enough to a place you can transfer to.

You were close enough to leaving the fantasy behind.

You were about ready to say goodbye.

A little party for the new year arrives and you tell him that you'll be staying late for it. He asks if you're not spending the new year with him and you tell him that you are, but the party was early because they were taking a week off to celebrate.

Caleb asks if you're allowed guests and you hesitate. You tell him you can bring someone, but you thought he was going to be busy with work so you didn't ask.

The hurt in his eyes makes you ask if he'd like to go with you. That if he really isn't busy, you'd like for him to go with you. It'd be a chance to see all your coworkers and see your place of work.

On the day of, you're trying not to feel too guilty when all your coworkers fawn over him and ask him a bunch of questions. Questions that were a bit too revealing on how you "lived your life" at work.

He doesn't really question you, but you can see the way his jaw is set as he answers them. You can see the pain and disappointment he's hiding when they say they weren't even convinced you were married.

As you both dance, his grip is firm but not painful as he looks down at you. You avoid his gaze, continuing to dance with him for a few more songs before you finally hear him ask why you never mentioned him.

You tell him that you did, but he scoffs and says that the most you've ever said was that you were married. You wince but ask him if he told anyone at the Fleet about you and he stops dancing. You peek up at him, seeing how clouded his eyes were, how somber his expression turns.

He admits he hadn't really and you nod your head.

You don't call him out on it. You don't hold it over his head. You don't defend yourself.

You just let it be.

You both go home and sit in the silence of a fake marriage.

You celebrate the new year together when it arrives and shortly after, he's off on a two week long mission for the Fleet.

You take the chance to pack your things, setting up your transfer to the other place and begin to move.

You leave the divorce papers on his desk, along with the ring and a note explaining everything and wishing him the best life.

You leave your phone behind and with one final look, you leave his place.

It was your final goodbye to him.

Now, his POV. [gonna pretend he has the necklace and that MC didn't]

For Caleb, it was hell. Having lost everything he held dear, the only tether to his life was the necklace MC gave him. He was grateful that he kept her from dying in that explosion, but it was still hell living his life without her.

It was the only way to protect her and help her escape EVER. But he was miserable. Completely. Utterly.

He had a terrible nightmare that consumed his very mind, he didn't sleep. He couldn't. Not when it was so vivid in his mind. So on a mission, he was tired, but still trying to survive.

It was early morning, his small attempts of sleep barely covering the insomnia that weighed on his bones. He goes for walk to get some fresh air and clear his mind and that's when he sees you.

For a brief moment, he almost mistakes you as MC before realizing that you were not her. You didn't really look like her at all, but the way you looked so tired and exhausted made him feel like he wanted to reach out to you like all the times he used to do for her.

So he reaches out. He talks to you and sees someone similar to him. Someone that is just surviving with the hand they've been dealt with. And he offers to buy you something to eat when he hears how hungry you sound.

Maybe it's just the protective instinct he grew up with, but he wants to ease your burden, even just a little, by offering you a meal. He knows you're wary of him but he's already paying for it so that you don't think he'll stiff you.

He keeps the conversation light, but he can't help but notice the details of someone that is struggling with their life. He can see the way the light doesn't really quite hit your eyes as you smile like someone that forgot how to.

And when you eat, he feels the pain in his chest. He sees just how much you've been without. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's because he sees how much you're suffering and hiding it away like he is. Maybe because you remind him of MC in a way.

He asks about your life and feels a sick sense of dread as you explain your situation. Even if nothing has happened to you now, it doesn't mean that nothing ever will. That something won't go wrong and you'll be left to fend for yourself.

So he offers to marry you. To help you in your situation.

He knows it's completely irrational and insane, but right now he's not quite all there. In fact, he probably never was.

But you accept it.

You both weren't all there in the head.

On the day you got married, you had insisted on a prenup. He told you he didn't need one, but you insisted it was to protect him. You were willing to marry him and accept his help, but you wanted to make sure he was also secured. You were the one that got the most out of the deal anyway.

The kiss, the only kiss he ever shared with you, left an impression on him. He almost wanted to do it again.

He doesn't touch you intimately. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable and even more so, he doesn't quite know how to avoid feeling guilty.

He provides everything for you. He does it to make your life a little easier. He wants you to feel like you deserve this chance to be happy, even though you try your best not to disturb his space so much.

He teaches you all the things he can. He studies with you and helps you get something so that you don't feel like you've fallen so far behind.

Caleb knows he's using you to fill the void in his heart. He knows he's trying to replace the loss. But he also can't help but enjoy your presence in his life.

Overtime he learns more about you. He learns your likes and dislikes, learns more about the way you are with your responses. He sees the similarities you share with MC but also the differences that make you your own person.

Overtime he learns to confide in you. Learns to show you more of himself that he hides. He realizes that you're a comfort that wouldn't judge him for the way he is. You don't even flinch when he tells you about MC.

And a small part of him wishes you did.

When you offered him the golden apple charm, just your way of wishing him a safe return as well, he hesitated only when you told him he didn't have to wear it. That it could just be somewhere. You were far too considerate, he thought. He put it on the necklace because he wanted to keep you close to his heart.

He finds himself looking at it more than the one MC gave him before he leaves.

[time skip part]

When MC returns back into his life, Caleb doesn't even know how to feel. He's elated, sure, and he's so damn happy that she's back. He feels the love he felt before resurfacing as he embraces her. He's so damn happy.

But when she confesses how much she missed him and that she loves him, his heart... stops.

When she leans in to kiss him, he dodges it and pushes her back. He doesn't really know why. It was everything he ever wanted and yet as he looks into her eyes, he can't help but think of you.

But he doesn't even if it's love he feels or just... responsibility. He took you in and helped you. He's married to you. He can't just... kiss another woman. That wouldn't be right. That's all it is, isn't it?

He explains to MC that he's married. He doesn't quite know how to react to the pain her eyes so he blurts out that it's a fake marriage. He confesses that he only married you to help you out of your situation.

But then he lies. He lies on your family's name that they set rules in place because it was so sudden and they didn't believe you two were really in love. He lies that they were the reason he couldn't kiss her. That he can't be with her the way they want.

She starts to get angry and he swears that it's only temporary. That you were not to blame, it was just the circumstances that made it difficult for the both of you.

He makes the mistake of giving MC false hope. But is it really false if he loves her? Right? It's not... the marriage isn't real.

Even if he wears the ring, even beneath the gloves. Even if he sees you wear it, despite telling you you didn't have to when you were at home.

Even if he thought about gifting you something far better than that cheap one he let you talk him into getting.

But it's all about just being responsible, right?

He doesn't talk to you about it. He's feeling so guilty about explaining her back in his life. He feels ashamed that he lies to you about working late when really, he's with MC. He doesn't know what he's chasing by being with her, but he just feels like he's supposed to be with her.

It's what he's wanted for so long.

And you weren't actually in a relationship, so it wasn't cheating.

Caleb doesn't know why the thought makes his chest hurt so much.

He knows you suspect something, but the one thing he can say he doesn't like about you is that you never call him out on it. You don't speak up. You don't say anything, you just pretend not to notice. You let him keep his secrets.

Almost like you don't actually care.

And it hurts.

When he's making plans with MC to take her to the amusement park, he hears you. He tells her he'll call her back and goes out to check on you. You make an excuse and once again, you do not call him out on it. You don't make it known that you overheard him and he almost wants you to. He needs you to. But you don't.

Even when he leaves, you just wish him a good day and see him off. Even as he spends time with MC at the amusement park and it's fun, really, he can't help but wonder how you're doing. He messages you but you don't answer. He calls but you don't pick up. He checks your phone's location and it's still at home. You just weren't answering.

It worries him but he knows you're probably just tired. But he swears that he thinks he sees someone that looks like you at the amusement park.

He gets home and doesn't hear you cry, but when he checks on you in your bedroom, he wonders quietly about the tear stains on your face.

He wonders what you want to talk to him about the next day, his mind consumed with all the possibilities of what you want to talk about.

But work gets hectic and he's trying to stop MC from making a fuss at the Fleet. He feels guilty that he's making you wait so long to tell him something, but he feels a sense of relief that he can put it off if it's something bad.

When he finally gets a breather and you tell him about getting a job, his heart drops. So many questions. So many accusations sit on his tongue. He feels a sense of dread washing over him but he holds himself steady. Your answers are hard to poke holes in and he doesn't really try to. It sounded like you really wanted to have more independence and he can't help but feel like he's losing something he never wanted to lose.

Any offer he throws your way gets rejected. You make your resume. You find your job. You don't even ask him to take you to work or to pick you up. Not that he could, with how early he leaves and how late he arrives, but you don't even consider it.

You don't even ask him for help in the kitchen anymore. To do laundry. To help you tidy up.

And it's hurting him. It's hurting him in a way he can't fathom. He feels like it's his responsibility as your husband to be there for you and yet you're not letting him fulfill it. You're not letting him in anymore. You're pushing him out...

And he hates it.

So he tries to be there for MC. He tries to fall into place with the role he used to be in. He tries to be there for her in the way she wishes for him to be but he refuses to do more. He holds her but that's as far as it ever goes. He knows she wants to kiss him but he doesn't want to.

He doesn't know why.

He catches you being shifty when he comes home, your laptop as you try to appear casual. When he asks you why, you tell him something about the story you apparently were trying to find.

But the more he hears you explain it, he can't help but feel how similar their situation was. How this Duke was you and he was the Courtesan. Even if the roles were reversed in the technical details.

So he asks why the Duke wouldn't try to confess. He wonders if maybe you confessed... if you had feelings for him, it would make his own feelings easier to come to terms with.

But the Duke never does. And neither do you.

The courtesan never learns if her previous love was the one she truly wanted or was she simply chasing a memory that was long gone.

MC calls and he walks away.

Caleb is stuck with a choice he doesn't know where to lean to. But he can see that you're not allowing him into your life like he used to. He sees how much you're doing things on your own and you don't look at him when you want or need something.

He feels you pulling away and he can't bring himself to reach out to you anymore. He doesn't even know if it's all in his head or if you're really trying to move on.

And yet, when he gets home, a little earlier than normal since MC isn't trying to drag him around somewhere, his heart shatters at what he sees in the kitchen.

To anyone else, they'd see a step stool. To anyone else, it was just a little thing to help you reach slightly higher than normal. Anyone could have one.

But all the years he's known you, been with you and heard you ask him to reach for something without hesitation, you never thought about getting one. Until today.

Until you were starting to pull away.

He isn't even sure he's breathing right now, his heart rate spiking as the blood rushes to his ears. It's so offensive right now, he wants to break it. He wants to throw it out the window. He wants to turn around and demand why you need it so badly.

He wants to collapse at your feet and ask the question he so badly wants to avoid. But he doesn't. He tries to talk calmly, tries to swallow the lump in his throat as to why you got it.

And god help him, you answer in a way he can't even refute. So he accepts it, cursing himself for the way his voice betrays him. His eyes sting but he doesn't let you see. He just pushes it away with his foot and begins cooking, needing the distraction.

He pries into your work life, wondering if you were at least doing well. He tries to learn more in the answers you give him, to see if he's on your mind at the very least while you're there. You message him sparingly, but then again, you never bombarded him in the past either.

You don't really give anything away and he can't find anything to comment on. He also doesn't have the right to. Not when he is living a lie with MC.

Not when he's lying to her to begin with.

He finally gets a breather after grueling work hours and dealing with his strange situation with MC. He gets to spend time with you. He finally gets to cling to the small moments he gets to share with you as you spend the day together.

It feels nice and comforting, but he almost wonders what it'd be like to hold your hand. You've held it before, but the intimacy of the way you took his mechanical hand in yours the first day you saw it made him wish he could feel the warmth.

He couldn't feel a damn thing when you examined his arm. Couldn't feel the way your fingertips brushed against the metal and wires. Couldn't feel the way you interlaced your fingers with his.

He never touched you, never had an intimate moment with anyone really, but that day he felt something sinful in his chest. He felt embarrassed and shy when you looked at him as you held it.

He feels his hand twitching, wanting to reach over to you now that you both were sitting so close yet so damn far. He inched his hand closer, feeling the light brush of your pinky before his phone went off.

Caleb wished it didn't. It was MC. She wanted him for something and he couldn't quite say no. So he left, but he promised you that he'd be back. That he wasn't going to let this be something that was going to keep him from you.

How wrong he was. MC was in a pickle with some wanderers and he aided her the best he could. It was easy clean up, really, but it was what came after that made it hard.

She was emotional, wishing he was able to be with her. How hard it's been on her and she wished he could just divorce you so they could be together.

And for some reason, that word was the one thing that broke him.

He was cruel to lead her on. He was cruel to let MC think that she had a chance. He wasn't sure if he loved you fully, but he wanted to try.

So he confessed his sins. He finally told her everything and how he felt. It was hell and it was long. She was in denial at first and then she was angry. She pounded his chest and called him a liar. She told him that he was awful for making her believe there was a chance.

And he stayed with her. It was the least he could do as she cried all the pain and sorrow he caused her.

He tries to text you an apology, but he wonders if you'll even see it.

By morning, he's exhausted and so is MC. She's finally asleep and he leaves quietly. He barely makes his way to Skyhaven when his phone goes off. It's a number he doesn't quite recognize, but when he answers, it's someone else on the line asking for him. He's your emergency contact and they were wondering if he could make it.

He's terrified at what could have happened, rushing to the hospital in Skyhaven. His mind races with all the possibilities of what could happen, but the nurses tell him that you were just really sick from something you might have eaten.

And there you are, tired but seemingly doing well. He's by your side, apologizing for not being there. He's angry that you didn't call him when you first started feeling sick. But like always... you don't say anything.

He knows you see how he looks, how his shirt is stained and how MC's perfume clings to his clothes, but you don't say anything about it. You just stay silent on the matter. And god... why don't you say anything?

Something. Anything at all! But you don't.

Even when he takes you home, you don't call him out on it. Even when he cleans you up and takes care of you, you don't even mention why he was late. It's like you don't want him around. It's like you don't even need him.

And it hurts. He goes to shower and clean himself off and notices the way you must've slept in the bathroom. He can't help but feel guilty and horrible that he left you alone when you were so vulnerable. He can't help but feel angry that you're not even trying to rely on him anymore. That you're trying to live your life... like he wasn't going to be in it.

When he sees you, he doesn't know what to really say. You look so sick and a bit miserable, so he reaches for you. He doesn't care how he's never quite held you before, he just pulls you in close to let you rest on him.

And for once, he's really happy he gets to hold you in his arms as you sleep. For once, he presses his head into your hair, letting his tears fall as he prays quietly for you not to leave him.

Once you're better, all the dread and anxiety finally compels him to ask why you didn't call him. And you answer in a way that hurts. You always do. You tell him you didn't think it was necessary. That he was doing something important when he didn't come back.

And it was, just not in the way you thought. But at the end of it... it wasn't. It never truly was that important. It would never have been if he had just been honest with MC from the beginning. If he had simply confessed instead of lying to her.

After weeks of dealing with the Fleet and MC's venting, albeit justified, anger, she finally accepts that he probably was a changed man. And he was. And she wasn't that hurt anymore by it, because a small part of her knew that he wouldn't ever feel the same.

It was cathartic to finally let her go.

Finally he could move forward with his feelings and hopefully... hopefully still have time. Even if he wasn't entirely sure of himself, he still wanted to try.

When you tell him about the party your company was having, he was hopeful that you were going to invite him. But, when you didn't, he couldn't help but feel hurt by it. He couldn't mask the pain that you really were keeping him away.

When you offer, if he's willing, he accepts. Even if it's pity, he'll go with you. He'll show you that he's there for you.

The day of the party was... quite heartbreaking. He had no idea what kind of life you were living at work, but hearing how little you spoke of him and how much you kept secret... he couldn't really tell if he was angry or just tired.

You didn't look at him at all when you danced. So many questions. So many times he wanted you to look him in the eyes and at least say something about it. He had so much to say but not a word left his mouth as you both danced for far too many songs.

Finally, when it all became too much, he just needed to hear from you. He needed to know why.

And you shot back at him if anyone knew about you.

Caleb couldn't answer. In fact... he couldn't say anything at all. As much as he accused you of technically hiding him, he did the same. Hell, it was worse. No one outside of MC knew he was even married.

And how much of a hypocrite was he to feel upset when he did the exact same thing to you?

You didn't say anything.

And for once he was grateful you didn't.

There was so much going through his head. So much regret, anger, pain and humiliation. He couldn't even look at you without wanting to turn back time and announce to everyone he was married.

He was ashamed. Burdened with the guilt that he was just a coward.

When New Year finally rolled around, he vowed to do better. To be better. He was going to change and be the man you deserved. You deserve the best version of him and he would make sure of it.

But life was funny. He was forced to leave you for a mission that took him away for a couple weeks.

And yet for some reason... he really felt like he shouldn't go. Not with the way you looked at him as he got ready to leave. Not with the way you told him to have a safe trip.

He couldn't get the way you looked at him when he left. Those two weeks were hell if he had ever been in it. He was miserable, on edge and had far too many close calls for his liking.

But as the days got closer to coming home, the more he hoped he didn't.

Not because he wanted to stay away from you, but because he was scared of what he was praying wouldn't happen.

Your messages stopped altogether on the final day. He didn't even know why it frightened him so much, but by the time he got home, his worst fears came true.

You were gone.

And sitting on his desk were the divorce papers, your ring beside it and a note beneath.

He sobbed. For the first time since he left MC the day of the explosion, he broke down into fits of hysteria. He shouted and cursed the world. He begged the gods that didn't hear his prayers. He thought he had time. He thought he was going to be better.

He hoped you'd let him.

But here was the proof that he was too late.

After hours of crying, his voice hoarse and his eyes burning, he finally read your letter. He read every line over and over again, wishing he could stop you from writing it. But the one line he clung to, the one line that gave him hope was the way you told him that you loved him.

You wished him a happy life with the person he loved.

And by fucking God, he took that as a challenge.

He will have his happy life with the person he loved.

And you were just going to have to accept it.

All of him. And he wasn't going to let you get away.

there's more but I'm... tired. But it's a happy ending. also, again, my bad. Didn't mean for it to get this long lol.