Stay With Me (Octavio 'Octane' Silva x GN Reader)
Author's Note: Something I wrote late at night, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it. Much love <3
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1186
‘What are we?’ I thought as Octavio and I laid on his sofa at his place with my back pressing against his front, not paying any attention to the movie we were watching.
I glanced over to him, no goggles or mask on, just him. He is so handsome, strong and unique in a certain way, even though some people think he’s not so good looking, I always thought that he was, but obviously, there’s more to him than just looks. His personality is so fascinating, carefree, funny, always ready to go, he’s crazy but in a good way, he makes you want to do things you never imagined, like jumping off a high cliff, but it’s OK because he’s there, he makes sure you’re safe and sound. Or at least he makes it sound like that.
Is that what attracted me to him? Or maybe it was his jokes? No. I think it was the way he looked at me that night, smiled and welcomed me into the games, introducing me to everyone, making me feel right at home.
Perhaps, with all this speculation, that’s why a few weeks later when celebrating a duos win with Octavio, and with a few drinks (way too many), I ended up naked in his bed.
At first, I made nothing of it, we’re young, we were having fun, and it happened, plus Octane made it clear that he wasn’t looking for a commitment nor relationship, saying that that night was one of the best rushes he’s ever had, and with that, I thought that was the end of it. But it wasn’t.
Throughout the next few weeks, our late-night visits became more recurrent, when it was once a week it became five or six times a week. I was starting to stay for longer runs, instead of the first times where I would only stay for a couple of hours, we were starting to share meals (premade mostly or order in, but still), having sort of deep talks about family, life, tastes and other stuff as well.
I didn’t mind this change, I was enjoying the company, the food, the sex mostly, but I was also realising that I was fooling myself, by pretending that we were more than friends, that we were a weird couple of some sorts. I keep living a lie by agreeing to whatever this is with Silva, and sometimes I wonder what he feels, like today.
He offered to watch one of my favourite movies, something he hates because it implies sitting still for at least an hour and a half, Octavio barely stands still for 30 seconds, what exactly is the deal here? Is he doing this because of me, or because he has run out of crazy stunts to do? I really want to know, but every time I try to approach this change, Octavio simply dodges the question or talks about something completely different.
I have asked Ajay about this since they’re like a family and I know I can trust her, but she said that’s just the way Silva is and told me not to worry about it. So, here we are, me thinking about all of this and Octane simply resting against me like nothing has changed.
“Hey, compadre” Octavio’s voice brought me back to the present time “Movie’s over. This stuff is boring, but I get why you like it.”
“Is that so, Tavi?” I smiled while getting up, stretching my arms.
Octavio sat up on his sofa and watched me fetch my belongings. I put on my jacket and I started to check if I had everything in my pockets when suddenly I felt a pull on my sleeve. I looked up and saw Octavio looking at me with a puzzled expression.
“¿Que pasa?” I've learned a couple of sentences in Spanish within the amount of time I spent with Silva, watching his games and telenovelas.
“Quédate conmigo” Octavio said slowly.
I tilted my head in confusion, trying to remember what those words meant.
“Quédate conmigo, por favor, cariño” He asked again.
Cariño, that was an endearment term, I knew that it meant honey or sweetheart, and the realisation made my heart race a bit. He was asking for something important. Seeing that I was having trouble translating his words, Octavio's pull on my sleeve grew stronger and pulled me towards him a little.
Suddenly, I realised that he wanted me to stay, or at least I thought it was that.
“You want me to stay the night?” I asked in a quiet voice, afraid I was wrong and crossing some line that I shouldn’t be crossing.
I stared at him, unsure what to do because I never stayed the night, usually, I was gone after a few hours. Plus, he’s never asked so directly for me to stay. Octavio simply looked back at me, waiting. He looked sad, I mean, Octane’s usually a carefree guy, always with a grin on his face, planning the next big stunt, but right now he just looks down and worried. The expression on his face was close to longing for something or someone like he was asking for attention.
That reminded me of the day I asked him about his family, he didn’t really want to talk about them, but he said his father was rather strict, always busy with the company, not really paying attention to his son, plus he was demanding, wanted Octavio to became someone he was not, therefore, there wasn’t a lot of love and affection involved in his childhood.
There was Ajay, of course, but it seemed like it wasn’t the same thing. Maybe he wanted more, more attention, more kindness, more love, I wasn’t sure, I know that he’s not good at expressing himself in those ways, not that he’s afraid of telling me how he feels, but maybe it’s because it’s something new to him and Octane’s not sure how to express it, this is the way he found it was the best way.
I smiled and nodded as well, relief was written across Octane’s face as he sat back on the sofa, pulling me towards him. I took off my jacket and sat on his lap, Octavio's grin grew wider as I leaned in for a kiss, he grabbed my thigh with one hand and held my face with the other.
Perhaps no words are needed between us, for as much that I would like to make things clear, maybe letting things happen at their time it’s the best option, figure it out as we go, it won’t rush us into something nor it will hurt us, I’ll just see what happens. I can’t tell what Octane is feeling, I can’t ask directly either, so I’ll wait, I got plenty of time to figure things out, but right now, all I want is to enjoy his company and the fact that he went this way to ask me to stay and he is holding me tight.
“Gracias, cariño” he whispered against my lips.
“Anytime, Tavi” I kissed him.
