ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ — ᴀ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ
Pairings ⋆˚࿔ᝰ.ᐟ > Neteyam x F! Human Reader
Summary ⋆˚࿔ᝰ.ᐟ > You grew up as a human on Pandora and learned to accept it, even if it meant leaving your home and Neteyam behind.
CW ⋆˚࿔ᝰ.ᐟ > Angst, heartbreak, separation — no comfort.
WC ⋆˚࿔ᝰ.ᐟ > 1.1k (short)
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You were on Pandora, just like your cousin Spider.
But you two weren’t the same.
You were both human — but you carried your humanity in a different way.
Every moment with the People made you remember who you really were. No matter how many years you trained. No matter how good you got at speaking their language. No matter how many times you wore the beads and painted your skin to honor Eywa.
You would never be one of them.
When you were a kid, that truth hurt.
It wasn’t a physical pain, it was something quieter. The feeling of being in a world built around togetherness, but knowing you’d never fully fit in. You lived surrounded by “one,” but you’d always be separate.
You watched your closest friends, your siblings in everything but blood connect with their ikran, talk to the forest like it was alive, move through the trees like the wind.
You watched them belong.
And you smiled.
Because loving them meant accepting that you’d never be part of that.
Over time, the pain faded. At eighteen, you didn’t resent it anymore. You saw the harm your kind had done. You understood why trust was so hard to build. Why the past kept coming back.
You accepted that you’d never really be Na’vi.
And strangely, that acceptance brought something else.
Distance.
You started to pull away, not because you wanted to, but because you knew you couldn’t stay forever. You couldn’t grow old under these trees. You couldn’t build a life that was fully tied to this place.
Every morning, your heart ached for the forest.
But wanting something isn’t the same as belonging to it.
So you decided it was better to leave before matters got too deep.
Sometimes, though, the acceptance would break. Tears would come without you meaning to cry. Not because you hated who you were but because you wished, just once, that you were someone else.
You wanted to be somewhere where you weren’t just tolerated.
But where you were chosen.
And so, distance became your answer.
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You grew up with the Sullys—next to Spider.
And with Neteyam.
From childhood, the two of you were always together. Hunting. Training. Laughing in places where there was no worry yet.
He never looked at you like you didn’t belong.
He looked at you like you were right where you should be.
You remember holding up a little fish, smiling big.
"Look, Nete! I caught one!"
His eyes lit up with pride. "You're getting better."
You laughed so hard your stomach hurt.
You remember getting caught stealing fruit from the kitchen.
"It was my fault, sir," Neteyam said, straight-faced but his mouth was twitching.
"It was ours," you said fast.
Jake sighed, already giving up. "At least wait until I'm gone before you start laughing."
You didn't.
Later, when you were older
"You're too fast now," you panted, chasing him through the trees. "I remember when I could run faster than you."
He looked back, his smile familiar and warm.
"Those days are gone."
Those days were gone.
Because somewhere along the way, what grew between you wasn't simple anymore.
It was steady.
Silent.
Real.
“I love you,” he’d say each morning before training, pressing his lips softly to your temple.
He once made you a beaded necklace, carefully tying it around your neck.
“I made this for you.”
You ran your fingers over the design. “It’s perfect.”
“You are,” he said, his voice low against your back as his hands followed the patterns on your waist.
It wasn’t loud. Not dramatic.
Just… yours.
And that scared you.
Because deep down, you already knew you wouldn’t stay.
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He noticed the distance before you even said anything.
Neteyam always saw things.
That’s why you ended up in the forest that afternoon, where the air between you felt thick.
He took your wrist gently, not roughly, pulling you off the path.
“What’s going on, ma sevin?” he asked quietly.
The name hurt more than it helped.
“Don’t call me that,” you said softly.
His eyebrows knitted together. “Then tell me what changed.”
You sighed.
“You know I can’t stay…”
Silence.
"What about us?" he asked, more gently now.
You looked into his eyes. "That's why."
He stepped closer. "Do you still think you don't belong here?"
"I do," you said firmly. "And loving you doesn't change that."
His jaw tightened, but his voice stayed calm. "This is your home."
"It was," you said softly. "But I can't build a life here."
His hand covered yours where it rested on his chest.
"You already have."
Your throat tightened.
"I can't give you what you deserve."
"I decide what I deserve."
"You deserve someone who can stand by you without doubt. Someone who can share your bond. Someone who won't make the clan think of war when they see her."
His breath caught.
"I'd give anything," he said.
"I won't let you."
For the first time, emotion showed in his face.
"Do you think I haven't thought about this?" he asked quietly. "Do you think I don't know what you are?"
The words hurt, not mean, just true.
“I know what you are,” he said. “And I choose you.”
Tears made your vision blurry.
“I know what I am,” you whispered. “And I don’t want to spend my life feeling like I’m not good enough next to you.”
His voice got softer.
“You’re not less.”
“But I’d feel it. Every day.”
A silence hung between you.
You stepped closer and rested your forehead on his chest.
“I love you too much to be the reason you make such a sacrifice”
His arms wrapped around you, strong and shaking.
“I thought time would change your mind,” he said softly into your hair.
“It never was going to,” you said.
That was the hardest truth of all.
You held each other longer than you should have.
Because both of you knew this wasn’t about anger.
It was over.
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That night, you said goodbye under the excuse of a chance beyond the forest.
The clan gave their blessings.
And behind them, Neteyam stayed put.
He didn’t move toward you.
He didn’t call your name.
He just looked at you—steady, proud, devastated.
For a second, you almost gave in.
But you didn’t.
You looked away.
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Years went by.
You kept going.
He did too.
The forest moved on without you.
And somewhere under its trees, a son of the Omatikaya carried a quiet love he never said out loud again.
As for you,
You never forgot who you were.
But sometimes, when the night was quiet,
you wondered what you might have been.
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