Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
As a progressive, queer organization, our content has challenged heteronormative ideas about sex, relationships and bodies since day one. Our Sex Readiness Checklist – written by founder Heather Corinna – is one of our most widely read and shared articles and was written explicitly to include all kinds of bodies, sexualities, and genders.
As Heather writes, “One of the biggest misnomers about partnered sex is that intercourse is "all the way,” is the only “real” sex, and is some sort of final goal to sexuality, which is unfortunate and untrue. Intercourse also isn’t the only sexual activity that presents the possibility of both physical and emotional risks, negative and positive.
The idea that intercourse – especially only vaginal intercourse – is the only sexual activity anyone needs to think about being ready for can also leave many queer people out in the cold, or give the idea that the readiness (or lack thereof) of gay, lesbian or bisexual people doesn’t matter. Of course, some of all that hoopla about why genital intercourse is THE sex can have to do with the fact that it’s often where the greatest risks are taken.
Any kind of genital sex is often framed as “taking it to the next level,” even though in plenty of relationships, or for plenty of people, that may not be any sort of “next” or “higher” level at all, especially if one or both people involved really aren’t and don’t feel ready. It can be a big shocker to presume a sexual activity safe and then discover you’ve got a sexually transmitted infection, or feel some heartache from something you thought had nothing to do with your heart at all. To have any kind of sex be as good in the short and long-term as it can possibly be, anticipating, recognizing and managing realities and risks – both wanted and unwanted – is a big help. The best sex is pretty much always the sex everyone involved really wants and is earnestly ready for.“
You can read the rest of this iconic piece here!
