#reading bits

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Awww not you two being petty over this after seven years and it being the reason why your relationship was always so unsteady. My otp is so silly.

I’m trying to understand things from Fei Du’s perspective here. Because he knew Wenzhou was right. His mom took her own life, he knew that, what Fei Du really wanted was for the cops to discover the truth about his father and to take him away it’s just that he never actually said anything. I’m not gonna blame a kid for not speaking up against his abuser, of course, but without a testimony there wasn’t much to do and Fei Chengyu covered his tracks pretty well and there really wasn’t anything to find out in relation to the mom’s death because it wasn’t a murder. 

I don’t think the novel really said what happened between Fei Du and that monster after his mom was gone; maybe the little sessions in the basement stopped and maybe with Fei Du out of the house, his father didn’t have as much control over him but by then the damage was already done. And surely the manipulation and overall shady businesses didn’t stop until his accident.

I remember being angry at Luo Wenzhou the first time I read this because I thought that the mom had really been murdered and Wenzhou was at fault here, but now I know he did his job right and it really wasn’t on him that he didn’t dig up more on Fei Chengyu or Fei Du’s home life. The signs weren’t there for him to see and FD remained silent.

Of course now I love Wenzhou and I don’t think bad of him for saying this, he just wanted Fei Du to be able to let go and move on. After seven years I’d be worried too. So yeah, it wasn’t on the police, Wenzhou or the system and it wasn’t on the 14 year old kid, but Fei Du’s background will always be the most heartbreaking thing about this novel for me. And the fact that Fei Chengyu never got to answer for his crimes. That bitch.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

I love this!!!! It’s so organic and it does feel like a casual conversation between best friends who have known each other for years. You can see how close they are, and how comfortable in the way Taoran so easily dismisses Wenzhou’s flirting without feeling awkward or anything and then they end up talking about family and their expectations on them.

It did peak my interest that Wenzhou hadn’t had so much luck in the love/dating department but I guess it’s because one) his work is not an easy one and doesn’t leave much time to pursue anything serious, two)being a gay policeman in current day China must not be light and breezy and three) because he worries a bit about what people would say, not about him, but about his father, who has a high rank within the force and also, a very good reputation. Tbh I thought the man was going to be a pain in the ass or a little bit of a bitch but once I came to “know” him, I loved him because he does love and accept his son as he is and couldn’t care less about what people say. Also, he loves Fei Du

And then the 29-30 year old Captain of the Criminal Investigation Unit and confident gay, sends Fei Du a recording of that conversation. Very mature.

Also, the more you know lol I learned a man must be 22 to be able to marry legally in China, while a woman must be 20 years old. Interesting. In my country you must be 18 but if the parents give consent, you can do it at 16. Don’t know how to feel about that.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

lol and then they tell you Wenzhou hates almost every living thing and refused to keep the cat, but ended up having it for whole seven years hahaha and now he’s basically its servant

Also, why is it that everything has to be so sad once you know the whole story? I want to cry. Obviously Fei Du liked the cat and very much appreciated the gesture coming from TaoRan but he couldn’t keep it because his monster of a father would have made him kill the little kitty as one of his little disgusting classes. Ugh

Another hug for Fei Du, please. Therapy didn’t work for him. Only love and affection works. Encouraging words are great too.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

hi it’s me again lol so, I just want to say to everyone who follows me and doesn’t have any interest in danmei novels lol or in me just fangirling about this novel, feel free to block the silent reading/mo du tag. I know it can get annoying to watch a lot of one thing you simply don’t like or follow. I’m gonna be posting a fair amount about this so, you’ve been warned.

I thought Fei Du was going to be the prime suspect for the case, the first time I was reading this. I didn’t exactly wanted him to be guilty but it made sense; in my defense I knew next to nothing about him, he had spoken with the victim and even showed him the way to where he wanted to go and then, next morning, they found the guy dead. It was only natural to be suspicious.

You never know when Fei Du is lying or telling the truth at the beginning, but he does hate smoking because her mom used to do it and everything related to his mom is indeed a touchy subject for him. And for the rest of the story, whenever he wants to smoke and Fei Du is in his presence, Wenzhou thinks twice before lighting a cigarette and he never does it. 

I love this detail because it shows very early on how considerate he is towards this rich heir he thinks of as troublesome and rude. Why would be considerate of a person you supposedly dislike?

I do loved that the investigation turned to one of his partying good-for-nothing rich friends though because Fei Du came to his defense and proved his innocence providing awesome moments with LWZ like this one. Not in the name of friendship of course, but because he knew perfectly well the dude wasn’t capable of murder. Tbh the whole interrogation was amazing, the banter was fun but the best part was the tension!!! Jesus Christ.

Also, I remember reading the bit about strangling and thinking it was a weird thing to say, but everything Fei Du says has some weird in it, so I didn’t think much of it. But now that I know the whole story I see how messed up that is, I’m sad and I’d loved for someone to give Fei Du a hug in that very moment. But no hugs coming any time soon.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

lol Sherlock Holmes, young Wenzhou must’ve been hilarious

First of all, I love that TaoRan is a freaking dramatic because what person says that, stops talking long enough for the other person to have a big reaction, and then walks away like he didn’t just drop a bomb?? I love him but lol I can’t

Second, I wasn’t expecting TaoRan and Wenzhou to have that big of a connection to Fei Du. It’s one thing to be the people investigating the death of his mom, that was their job, but it’s another to have been so consumed with a case that TR basically decided to adopt the kid on the holidays. But I love it because it says so much of who TaoRan is as a person (he’s the best I love him) and what Fei Du means to him(he sees him as a younger brother which i guess made it very awkward for him when Fei Du started to flirt). And even though Fei Du might think Wenzhou doesn’t like him at all, that’s not true, because the guy worried and cared for him too, he was just embarrassed of making it obvious.

Third, I want to cry because Fei Du coming home from school and finding the corpse of his mom wasn’t the most traumatic experience of his life. It just makes me emotional because, leaving aside all romantic problems and affairs that at this point are not even there, both Wenzhou and Taoran are Fei Du’s family and the day they met him they saved him. The care they showed him made a huge difference in how he grew up, I believe. But yeah, he still was so unbelievably messed up and years of therapy didn’t help him that much (it only helps if you want to be helped and recognize you have an issue).

Anyway, with all the problems surrounding BL adaptations in c-dramaland these days, I don’t even care if they even imply some sort of romance in the live action. I would be 110% happy if they just showed me the found family dynamic. It’s all I ask for.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

(hahahahahaha he did give him a ticket. Wenzhou is so childish)

Nothing screams OTP material better than hostile behavior to cover the hard truth undeniable attraction between one another lol I'm joking, of course, but after reading the novel I kinda think that at this point in time Fei du and Wenzhou were already starting to get the hots for each other (and maybe it had been like that for a while, subconsciously of course). Also, I read many comments/reviews saying they both were in love with TaoRan, but I don’t think that was ever true. They each liked him a little, at most.

I mean, feelings and personalities aside, both are very attractive people, both are confident and shameless when it comes to pursuing others romantically, they're flirty, both are interested in men and as Wenzhou admits later in the novel, Fei Du is very much his type lmao But they have a complicated past and at this moment there are a few misunderstandings that prevent them from seeing the other person clearly. To be honest I'm not big on "enemies" to lovers or frenemies to lovers romances, but I admit they're fun and often full of sexual tension lol just like this pairing.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

With only 4 chapters in, of course I didn’t have an official opinion on Captain Luo Wenzhou, but this part here gave me an inside into his personality and the kind of person he was at work. At first I thought he only reacted strongly because TaoRan (the best friend he kinda likes) had been injured, but I know he definitely worries about every single member under his authority, equally. In fact, he often calls everyone “his” children and even brings them breakfast to work. It’s adorable.

It took me like the whole Book 1 to warm up to him and to start liking him for real lol but I adored him by the end of Book 2 and it’s fun to go back and re-read these bits now.