#readmore again

[shenkodrabbles]

A Toast to the Future

For femshepfit, who wanted some fluff for her Jane Shepard! Inspired by her headcanon that Shepard's father brought her grilled cheese and tomato soup when she was sick. 

Jane sighed, pushing yet another stack of papers to the side even as she moved another one took their place. She glanced at the clock. 23h00. It had been a long night already, and she was far from done. 

It was over a year after the Reaper War. Her injuries had kept her off the front lines of the recovery effort, but she refused to be useless. And if that meant paperwork, so be it. 

Not that it was nearly as fulfilling as the heat of the battlefield. 

She missed it. Being the galaxy's hero, bane to Cerberus and the Reapers, unvanquished in a fight. Though she supposed it was hard to be bitter when she was, despite everything, alive. And, more importantly, so was Kaidan. And, at last, they were together. 

As if summoned by her thoughts, the door to their small office kicked open, with Kaidan following it in, carrying a plate. "Hey," he said with a smile, carefully balancing the plate on a tall stack of papers before bending over to give her a quick kiss. "I brought you something to eat, since you never came and got dinner."

"Thanks," she replied gratefully, her stomach growling in recognition of the missed meal. "I guess I kind of forgot." She reached up for the plate, pausing when she saw what he had made her. "Grilled cheese?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Is that okay?" 

She hesitated. "I haven't had one since I was a kid. My dad used to make them for me a lot. Back on Mindoir, whenever I was sick, he'd surprise me with a grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup and an old movie. There was this one we used to watch a lot...Star Wars. He was always really into those old Earth movies." Her smile was wistful, and she picked at the bread sadly. 

Kaidan rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. Jane rarely talked about Mindoir or her family, and he was intrigued with this little insight into who she used to be. "Do you think about them often?" he asked softly.

"Every day." He could hear the tears in her voice, though with years of practice none of them fall from watery eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, resting on the edge of her chair. "I didn't mean to make you upset."

She shook her head. "No, don't be. It's...it's nice to talk about them." Kaidan moved to sit on the small couch in the corner, gesturing for her to join him. She glanced at the stacks of paperwork still waiting to be finished, and decided it wouldn't kill Hackett to wait another day. 

"It's strange," she continued, now ensconced in his arms, "I've lived longer without them now than I did with them. But I don't miss them any less."

He nuzzled into her shoulder. "I don't think we ever stop missing the people we truly love." He paused, trailing his thumb over her jaw. "I know I never stopped missing you. Not one minute of one day, for two years." 

She laughed slightly, though without much humor. "Loves kind of a bitch, isn't it?" 

He nodded, but wrapped his arm around her tighter. "It's worth it, though. I've never doubted that."

She kissed him softly, then reached for the plate again. She tore the sandwich in two, pressing one half into his hand with a smile. Holding her own half out to him, as if to make a toast, she said, "Well, here's to new beginnings. To remembering the past without letting it hinder our futures. And to a life that we get to build together."

"I can eat to that," he said with a chuckle as he tapped his sandwich into hers. 

She took a bite, catching his hand with a squeeze as she did. "It's a damn good sandwich."

He grinned. "It's a damn good future, too"