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I am forever trapped. You put me here. I was fine until you robbed me of my future. You disregarded my feelings and only concentrated on your own. Did I ever matter? Our baby didn’t matter. I never saw how callous you could be. I will never recover from this. STOP calling me. STOP apologizing. No matter what you did this will NEVER be made right. You should have thought before you acted. I will not help you. Even if I could I wouldn’t. The betrayal in your actions runs so deep.
I feel like Alice. The pain keeps rising and overflowing. I am drowning in despair. I am afraid that I will be washed away with emotion. Dark, cold emotion. I want to strangle you. I won’t do it but my hands have the strongest urge to squeeze your neck until your head pops. I am so mad at you. I am so mad at you. The past few weeks have been like a hell. I am burning up like a mad man, lunatic dying to be set free. I am not sure how long I will be trapped in this prison. No one has a key.
The inside of me rolls around in my stomach. I can’t stop thinking about how the dark doesn’t envelope you the way it does me. You left a message last night. I listened to it but I wasn’t hearing what you were saying. It was all a big blur of noise. You have become to me a nothing. I am hoping soon that you will get the hint. STOP CALLING!! It hurts so much what you did. What have you done? What did you do to my life? Selfish, selfish woman. How could you throw it all away like this? I am in turmoil.
So, we are meeting tonight. It’s been a week. This is what happens to my heart when I get a call from you. This is what happens when I anticipate how our time together will go. Lately, I am filled with anxiety. You keep disappearing. You seem to be drifting. Is that fair? I tried to reach out to you and you brushed me off. Are you really with him? You mentioned things were different for you. I can feel you changing.
Walking home from work and saw this near that place that we go to eat. I thought that maybe the art will still be here long after we are done with each other. It made me sad but happy at the same time. Where did you go today? You said the doctor and that you needed to rest.
