June of Doom 2026 Day 9- I made a mistake
The directional prompts were "Crying, Friendly fire, Broken glass"
Katsuki watches how Hitoshi throws his head back and laughs at something Kaminari said.
He would love to be there, would love to know what got that kind of reaction out of Hitoshi but he's all the way over there, across the room, and that's by design.
By Hitoshi's design.
And that's fine, it's all fine, because Katsuki knows that Hitoshi hates being overly touchy in public, but Hitoshi's definition of public and Katsuki's are very different.
Because a party at Denki's house is hardly public and all of their friends know that they are together anyway, so Katsuki doesn't understand why he can't go over there and tuck himself under Hitoshi's arm and be close.
But he doesn't, because Hitoshi is all the way across the room and therefore makes it very clear that he doesn't want the same and when he laughs again Katsuki turns around and hides himself away in the kitchen.
Like this at least the itching in his fingers stops because he can no longer see Hitoshi and the need to reach out and touch him all over lessens significantly like that and Katsuki lets out a sigh.
He's not quite drunk enough to start wondering if Hitoshi even loves him, if he even wants to be with him, but the thought is growing steadily in him and Katsuki knows that soon enough he won't even need any alcohol for that thought to invade his thoughts at any given time and he hates it.
Hitoshi is with him. They are living together. That should be enough confirmation and yet—
"Angel," Hitoshi suddenly says from very close behind him and Katsuki jumps. "You good?"
"Fine," he shortly gives back and allows himself to sway back, just for a moment, so his shoulder brushes against Hitoshi's chest and when he doesn't pull away something in Katsuki's chest settles.
Still, he can practically feel how Hitoshi musters him before he breathes out a quiet "Fine, keep your secrets, you liar," and that, too, makes Katsuki feel warm all over because Hitoshi knows him.
He knows him well enough to not fall for Katsuki's bullshit and while that is usually annoying and was downright terrifying at the beginning it's now comforting.
Hitoshi knows him. Surely that also means he loves him enough to even notice those things in the first place.
"Tell me when you're ready, yeah?" Hitoshi asks and nudges his nose against Katsuki’s cheek, before he presses a kiss to his temple, too.
And that intimacy comes so easily to him that Katsuki wonders why it's so hard for him to do it when other people are around, when anyone can see.
"Sure," he non-committally gives back and Hitoshi pinches his side for his trouble, letting Katsuki know just how believable he just was.
"Tell me when you want to ditch this place, too. I'm about peopled out," he goes on and Katsuki snorts at the phrasing of it.
"Will do," he agrees, and this, he will actually do, not like the other thing.
Because he's about to be peopled out, too, so ditching this place and going back home and potentially curling up with Hitoshi in bed is practically a siren's call right about now.
"Fifteen more minutes," Katsuki decides and Hitoshi looks relieved at that.
"Great, I can do that," he gives back, leaning in to steal one soft kiss before he smoothly steps away and brings some space between them right before Jirou enters the kitchen.
And Katsuki pushes the weight that settles over him at that to the far back of his mind.
~*~*~
Katsuki doesn't know why he says it.
Hitoshi is at the far end of the couch, his eyes glued to a book he's been obsessed with and his toes are just barely shoved under Katsuki's thigh, which is about the maximum contact he can stand for his reading sessions and Katsuki is left wondering.
They are at home. This is as private as it gets and still—Hitoshi is all the way over there.
Sure, Katsuki understands preferences and boundaries and all that shit but the nagging thought is right there.
Does he even love me? Does he want to be here?
Because sometimes, Katsuki isn't sure. Sometimes it doesn't look like it at all. Sometimes he fears Hitoshi is only with him because it's convenient and it's not as if they ever really talked about anything.
They spent a shitton of time together, they kissed, they fell into bed and somewhere along the line that turned exclusive. And then Hitoshi's lease was up and Katsuki gave him a key and suddenly all of Hitoshi's things were in his apartment and it turned into theirs but—
They never talked about it. They never gave a name to what they are and Katsuki has told Hitoshi that he loves him and Hitoshi has done the same but Katsuki keeps wondering.
He keeps wondering if Hitoshi even wants to be here, if he wants this, if he wants Katsuki and so what he says next is the absolute most stupid thing Katsuki has ever uttered out loud.
But he's watching his favourite show and the bride-to-be is losing her shit over the mess that is her wedding cake and it just blurts out of Katsuki.
"If we ever should get married, I'm going to make our wedding cake. There's no way I'm going to allow this to happen to us."
He regrets it the moment the words are out, because what the fuck.
Hitoshi probably sees him as a low-key boyfriend—if even that—and here Katsuki goes talking about potential weddings.
It's fucking stupid and it's entirely likely that he just ruined everything and—
"When," Hitoshi's deep voice cuts through his panic spiral and Katsuki whips his head around to him.
The fucker still has his eyes glued to the book in front of him as if he didn't just completely melt Katsuki's brain and so the only thing he manages to get out is a very resounding "Huuuuuuuh???"
"When," Hitoshi repeats and finally drags his eyes off the book to look at Katsuki. "There is no if or should about it. And I'm going to bake the cake, because I'm better at it anyway and you'll be to busy micro-managing everything else."
He says it as if it's a foregone conclusion. As if their marriage has always been a part of this, as if it's inevitable and unavoidable and Katsuki cannot handle any of this right now.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
So he forces his gaze away from Hitoshi and he pushes himself up, makes his unsteady legs take his weight and he picks up the empty glass from the table and he turns towards the kitchen and he sets one foot in front of the other and he makes it without face-palming into the ground and he goes to the sink and he opens the tap to refill the glass and—
"I'm sorry, I made a mistake," Hitoshi's voice suddenly rings out from behind him and Katsuki jumps about a foot into the air because he didn't even hear him get up—but really, with the rushing in his ears that was to be expected—and the glass slips from his limp fingers and shatters into a thousand pieces.
"Shit," Katsuki hisses once silence settled over the kitchen and he's about to take a big step over the shards when Hitoshi makes a panicked noise.
"Please, stay still, I'll get the broom," he says, his hands outstretched as if he wants to pick Katsuki out of the mess himself and Katsuki rolls his eyes at him.
"I'm a goddamn hero and this is just some broken glass."
"You might be a hero, but you're not Red Riot and therefore unable to protect your feet. Which are covered by nothing but thin socks, so please, can you just—"
Hitoshi gives him a pleading look and Katsuki rolls his eyes again, briefly contemplating if he can explode himself across the room and then deciding against it when he thinks about all the noise complaints that's going to get them and so instead he boosts himself up on the counter.
"There, happy?" he then asks and some of the tension leaves Hitoshi's body.
"Elated," he gives back, with a voice so flat Katsuki's lips tick upwards automatically but then he grows serious again when Hitoshi winces.
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"You sneaked up on me like a goddamn creep."
"Not that. The marriage thing. I didn't mean to scare you with that," he quietly mutters, wringing his hands in front of his body and Katsuki lets out a long breath.
"I’m not scared," he gives back and just by Hitoshi's face he can tell how much he doesn't believe him. "I'm confused."
"Confused," Hitoshi repeats as if that doesn't make any sense at all and great, they're going to talk about this now. "About what?"
Katsuki doesn't want to talk about it, not really, is scared to overthrow the balance they somehow struck but then again—Hitoshi clearly has thoughts about their marriage.
Maybe that's all the reassurance he needs to finally talk about this.
"About the fact that apparently, marriage is on the table for us. That clearly you've thought about it before and that you have opinions about it."
"You—don't want to get married?" Hitoshi carefully asks and Katsuki drags his feet up, takes some time to brush any lingering shards off his socks because he fears the immediate and resounding 'No, I do' is going to flay him wide open.
Even if Hitoshi apparently feels somewhat the same.
When Katsuki finally looks back at him, Hitoshi seems sick with nerves and the hand wringing has gone so bad that his fingers have turned white and okay, maybe Katsuki really does need to speak up here.
"I was actually wondering if you even love me," he admits and he regrets it immediately when Hitoshi goes as white as a ghost.
"What?"
"I mean—it's obvious that you care about me," Katsuki mutters, because he can hardly deny that but his friends care for him, too, and that doesn't mean shit in the romance area. "It's just—we never talked about any of this. Not the getting together part or the moving in part and I'm just wondering."
"You think I don't love you," Hitoshi says, his voice nothing but a horrified whisper in the space between them and he moves as if he's about to take a step forward and Katsuki jerks.
"Hey!" he shouts and Hitoshi rocks back on his heels, owlishly blinking at him. "You're just wearing socks, too, idiot," he tacks on and Hitoshi's gaze falls to the mess between them.
"Yeah, yeah I am, but, Kats, fuck, I—"
His words come out too fast to make much sense and normally, Katsuki would be there to squeeze his shoulders or hands to ground him, but he's all the way across the kitchen and he doesn't like it.
"Oi, troll doll!" he calls out and at least that gets Hitoshi's attention. "You gonna catch me?" Katsuki wants to know and pulls his legs up again, crouching on the counter and making his intentions very clear.
And it's a clear challenge, to which Hitoshi of course rises because his gaze goes sharp, he slightly shifts on his feet and he holds out his hands, ready as everything to catch Katsuki at any moment.
He doesn't even wait for a verbal confirmation before he tenses and pushes himself off the counter as hard as he can and he practically flies across the space, no quirk needed, and Hitoshi is there, he's right there, snatching Katsuki out of the air and twirling them to take the energy out of the movement so that neither of them end up on the floor.
"You're insane," Hitoshi mutters when he puts him down on his own two feet and Katsuki pinches him.
"And you're stupid," he gives back, but there's no heat in his voice and now there's actually no need for him to be over here anymore either, because the little stunt he just pulled clearly pulled Hitoshi out of his spiral.
Katsuki is just contemplating stepping away when Hitoshi's hands are on him, pulling him into his chest and holding on in a way that almost feels desperate.
Right. They are not done talking about this.
"Angel, I love you. I love you so much, you have to know that," Hitoshi mutters into Katsuki's hair and Katsuki would love to reassure him, would love to say 'sure' and 'yeah' and 'of course' but the words die on his tongue.
He's been having stupid thoughts for too long to lie like that.
"Do you, though?" he asks, and almost hopes the words get swallowed in Hitoshi’s shirt but when Hitoshi's grip turns painful he knows that they have been heard.
"I do. I really fucking do, shit, I'm so sorry I somehow made you think otherwise," Hitoshi rambles out and he sounds desperate enough that Katsuki almost believes him just for that, but he knows himself better than that.
He needs answers, because otherwise they'll be in the exact same situation next week.
"And are we boyfriends?"
"We are," Hitoshi immediately says. "We're boyfriends. Together. We have an anniversary and everything. We're exclusive and in a committed romantic relationship."
Katsuki slumps against him at hearing that because okay. If Hitoshi says that, then it has to be like that and he can work with this.
This is good.
"Kats, can you tell me why you think I don't love you?" Hitoshi asks after a moment and Katsuki scrunches his face because he would really rather not but he guesses it's only fair.
"You feel—distant, sometimes," Katsuki starts with. "Always, when we're out and most of the time when we're with friends and I get it, somewhat, because you said you don't want to go public and you can't with your job anyway, but with our friends? It shouldn't be too hard, right, they all know we're" —Katsuki bites back on the 'something' that tries to make its way out of his mouth because they just clarified that part— "together, so I don't get it. But here, too. You don't touch me much and you barely pay attention to me sometimes and—"
Katsuki cuts himself off there because he sounds like a needy little kid and surely that is not something Hitoshi wants to deal with in his life but all it serves to do is that Hitoshi lets out a wounded noise.
"I'm sorry. Shit, I'm so sorry," he says, over and over again until Katsuki grows tired of it and slaps his chest.
"Stop that. Either explain, or don't, but stop fucking apologising!"
"Right, yeah, you're right," Hitoshi frantically says and pushes Katsuki away, just enough to be able to look him in the face. "I haven't been socialised right," is what finally makes it out of his mouth and Katsuki blinks owlishly at him.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"That means that I never had a real family until I was fifteen. I never learned how to express my love properly and now I do it wrong."
Katsuki hits him over the head for that because how dare he even say that but it also gets him thinking.
How skittish Hitoshi had been when he first got into their class. How he knew how to bite and snark and joke around but retreated almost immediately when it got real and gentle. How Katsuki bribed him with breakfast and lunch and dinner at first, preventing him from fleeing the situation until Hitoshi stayed out of his own free will.
All of these memories—and so many more—crash over him and for a moment Katsuki can't breathe before he doubles over laughing.
"What. The fuck. Is wrong with you?" Hitoshi presses out, clearly miffed by Katsuki’s reaction and when he wants to take a step back, Katsuki's hands shoot out, tangling in his shirt.
"You're not doing it wrong," he gasps out and forces himself to breathe and to stand up and to look at Hitoshi. "You're doing it stray cat style."
Hitoshi's mouth drops open and Katsuki can tell that he wants to argue, but the words die on his tongue as he realises the truth of his statement.
"Fuck, you're so goddamn right," Hitoshi finally breathes out and drags a hand over his face.
And Katsuki—he's so enamoured by this hot mess of a man that he steps in and as soon as Hitoshi's hand has left his face peppers him with kisses.
Hitoshi isn't bad at expressing his feelings; yeah, he's bad at expressing them with touch, but he's sharing Katsuki’s space. He's sharing his interests. He's paying attention. He does show his love physically when Katsuki is the first to initiate touch, because Hitoshi is goddamn scared shitless of being pushed away, of being hurt for expressing his wants and Katsuki really should have goddamn realised that before.
"I'm sorry. I got into my own head and I'm sorry. You love me. I know that. I should have never said something."
"No, it's—on me, too," Hitoshi gets out between all these new kisses. "I thought you knew. I love you. I fucking adore you to the moon and back and you're it for me, Kats. That marriage thing? Yeah, I have it all planned out. I've been thinking about it."
"You want to marry me," Katsuki breathes out and comes to an abrupt stop, mere inches from Hitoshi's mouth.
"I'm gonna marry the fuck out of you," Hitoshi agrees and Katsuki can feel his smile. "I love you."
"Fuck, I love you, too," Katsuki breathes and brushes his lips against Hitoshi's and wonders how he could have ever thought that Hitoshi doesn't love him. "Shit this is really more about me and my own insecurities," Katsuki realises and Hitoshi snorts.
"It can be about both our things, Kats, that’s fine. And yeah, maybe you should have realised it sooner that I love you but you clearly need me to love you louder and that’s fine. I can do that."
"Louder how?" Katsuki suspiciously asks and then something hot twists in his gut when Hitoshi grins at him, his almost freakish gaze completely fixated on Katsuki as he slowly brings up Katsuki's hand to his face.
Katsuki wants to bitch and complain but then Hitoshi kisses his finger, right where a ring would go—will go if Hitoshi is to be believed—and every thought fizzled out as Katsuki goes bright red in the face.
“Louder so" Hitoshi smugly says and Katsuki thinks if he does this in front of their friends he’s going to die.
He cant wait.
And it’s really right there, it's in Hitoshi’s eyes and in his smile and in the way his hands flex on Katsuki's waist and he really was so goddamn stupid.
Hitoshi's love is so obvious.
But at least now, that they talked about it, they are on the same page—about everything—and really, what more could Katsuki wish for?
Well, maybe a ring on his finger, but he doubts that it's going to take long now. Not with the way Hitoshi's eyes sparkle and his thumb keeps moving over the as of yet unadorned space on Katsuki’s ring finger.
And Katsuki really can't wait.
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