#rebellerose

[rebellerose]

I won't allow for people to destroy the equilibrium I'm trying to create in my life

Rebellerose

[rebellerose]

I'm a slave to the emotions that I'm feeling for you My mind is screaming all its logic to me but the whispers from my heart are much louder

Rebellerose

[maghrabiyya]

rebellerose replied to your post: all these jobs want fun energetic talk...

Being an extrovert doesn’t always make life easy. Social anxiety does suck but you don’t have to be bubbly. There are ways to make it easier to deal with. Think about the things that make your comfortable with people

no, but it certainly helps

thanks tho friend.

[rebellerose]

I love you, and I mean that with every breath in my body

Rebellerose

[rebellerose]

3:3:14 Perdue It's funny how just of few seconds of your good company can just change my mood so abruptly I could be thinking the worst about you, the very worst, but then..when you come and you are sweet or you try to humor me, all the negativity and "hate" just seems to melt away in that moment Words cannot describe how I feel about you It's like I'm floating, because I've just gotten the best news of my life and I'm so happy I want to cry A feeling like I'm some kind of hippie fairy or what ever wandering in my happy place...a beautiful meadow Oh how meadows make me so happy Just walking through the fields with my fingers running through the grassy grains Happy like an innocent child you make me Not sex, not desire just not lust But pure and innocent happiness of a child It's like the feeling in between like and love... Not only lust, it's a separate feeling from that I've never felt like this before So much emotion towards a human being I did not think I could have so much more towards someone besides my mother It's just a blast of unbearable anger/hate/HURT in my heart sometimes And it hurts soo bad, I don't know if anything has ever hurt so bad But when I'm happy with you, I cannot help but smile and keep stealing glances at you Giggling to myself like a little girl I can't even help myself sometimes Why do you make me so happy sometimes? And why the fuck do you piss me off?? And it's like you know what you're doing but I helplessly fall pray to you all the time What hurts is when you make me feel special, and then you go and do the same to someone else What do you want from me? Please tell me Bad or good If it's bad, at least I'll know At least I won't be stuck in this "tug of war" between "yea I can tell he really does like me" and "no, no, no he's just wasting my time" I'm just tired and honestly at this moment I don't even want anything from you anymore I just want to be released from all the strong emotions and feelings that are just killing me inside

Rebellerose

[rebellerose]

3:4:14 Oh my God It feels like I'm crumbling into pieces Like my heart has just burst end into flames, turned into brick, and crumbled That's what I want him to do Freeze and get frost bite, freeze to death Come back alive, crumble into a billion pieces Burn, burn and feel the scorching fire, light you up into ashes And Repeat Just die would you Please just die What have I done to myself? You've done so good for so long Kia How did you slip? This pain is unbearable If I could just fall into a deep sleep taking me back into time where it's just begun I'd end it there, I'd end him there How can one human being make you feel so much hate and hurt? How? Why? Why couldn't it be the way it was in my dreams? Why couldn't you just be ready and embrace all that I can give to you? You're still just a boy What the fuck do you want? Why the fuck would you, how could you do this to me? Why couldn't you just be direct and let me know from where you knew how I felt about you Now I'm a mess, and I don't know how to get myself together I hate you, I hate you more than anything I love you I love you so much Why did it have to happen like this? Why couldn't you just love me back?

Rebellerose

[rebellerose]

3:16:14 What do you want? What do you mean? What do you want from me? I want you. I want you to be "mine." Not only sexually but much more than that. As my boyfriend and even more. (Pause) Why? Because I like the way that you think. You're an intelligent guy. The way that you think about, life, people and a lot of other things, is just much different from the way a lot of people of today think. Our thoughts on life are almost the same. And I love that because I don't often meet people with those kind of thoughts. I guess that's the main reason but definitely not the only reason. So what else? I know that you're a kind person. I've seen your different acts of kindness and I love that Also what I love is the fact that you find interest in things most people don't. Things I find interesting. I really admire that. You are open minded (for the most part). I say that because your thoughts or what you've told me about the way you think all girls are is just false. I know you say that it's from experience and experience is the best teacher but you haven't experienced enough. Because if you did you wouldn't think that way. I feel like you're too smart to think that all girls are the same way. You're way too smart to believe that. But I don't know maybe it's just with some circumstances. But no one proved me wrong You haven't even given that chance yet. You haven't even given me that chance. You've based your judgement off of assumptions. Just because you think it and it seems likely to be true does not mean that it's true. Just because we see each other all the time and we've had our "relationship" does not mean that you know me. You don't, there's no possible way that you could because all you is assume. And then you believe that you're right all the time when you're not. You don't know anything about me. You haven't even tried to. When we talk, it's about you really. All you do is talk about yourself for the most part. You don't show interest at all when it comes to what I think, or my life, or whatever. And i just listen to you. I listen to you and I observe you. It's why I can say that I know you. At least much more than you do of me. So why don't you talk then You have to show interest. If you don't I can't talk about myself. That's not how I am. I only share my life and thoughts to those who show interest. But you haven't and that is why you don't know shit about me. But you believe you do based off of assumptions.

Rebellerose

[rebellerose]

3:16:14 C'mon (Tries to initiate sex) I can't Why Because as much as I want to, it's only a small part of what I want from you. And you can't give me all that I want from you for what ever reason. Don't try to act like you didn't before It doesn't matter I've realized how much it's hurting me that I keep giving myself to you when it's just not enough at all. And it hurts a lot so please just stop

Rebellerose