#rebelyellx

[rebelyellx]

I’ve had this blog for like 13 years (I think?)- I can go back to the beginning and find a post exactly like this but: I threw away my drugs and now I’m sober and miserable but before I was high and miserable so what’s the difference? I can’t feel my feelings because I am autistic so I’ve numbed them for over half my life and I just can’t stand it anymore. I relapsed after 4 months and I’m so mad at myself but the substances are out of the house now and that makes it feel a bit easier. I just want a magic pill to make me normal and happy and functional. I’m so tired. I’ve been doing this shit for too long.

I want to be happy like people in my books are happy. I want someone to swoop in and make it all better but life isn’t like my books.

[rebelyellx]

I’ve had this blog for twelve years and life is not what I’d imagined it would be at 13

I should be in the prime of my life but I’m like…very much not and I’m just sad because I have tried so hard and ended up as wasted potential

I have two degrees in a subject I love but I’m too crippled and poor to use them and it’s upsetting

I usually try and stay busy but I’ve been so unwell recently that I just can’t and it’s A Lot

I just want to be able to see my loved ones and do nice things with them, not even doing anything extravagant but instead I am using loose change to buy noodles 🫡

To summarise: my mother said I need ozempic unprompted, I can’t fucking walk because I am prone to dislocating my knees and have torn a ligament, I can’t work a normal job and am a survival sw, my disability benefits are up for review and if I lose them I will lose my home AND my fucking brain injury has decided that now is a good time to make me sick

Life is severely unslay right now

Please excuse my once yearly vent post, mama is going through it- Send hugs and narcotics xx

[thexyoungerxpersonality]

Haydn looked around the abnormal house. These strangers had taken him and his older brother to a different place. He didn't say much about what was happening. He's just slightly confused on why it took so long to get over to this place. Which looked strange to him. He tugged onto Salem's shirt, showing his not liking of the place to him. He doesn't understand what is going on at all. He couldn't even understand what these people are saying, which is scaring him slightly.