#recommendedbooksof2019

[authorralph]

Marriage Beyond the Changing Times

There was a time when marriage meant a lifetime commitment to someone. There was a time when divorce was the exception and not the rule. There was a time when real men stepped up to the plate and provided for the family no matter how young or uneducated he was. There was a time when women tended to the needs of the family first and foremost. Those times seem so long ago. There is the obvious need to make changes according to the demands of the times. Women now are inclined to work just as much as men, but that still doesn’t make them half the housewives and mothers they are. It just means they have more to take care of. But let us not deny that times have ushered in short-span marriages, some lasting only days and, worse, hours. Some rush into marriage only to end in divorce a short time after. There was a time when whirlwind romances were romantic. Now, they mostly end in a divorce. Why? Change is as constant as the ever-shifting sky. Why did marriages last in the past and they usually don’t these days? Can we, as a society, change the bad and keep the good? Can we change in order to become better people? What is so different about love in the past and love in the present? The more we advance in our understanding of the universe, the more we gain knowledge, the more we should know how to value people who truly matter to us. The more our inventions connect us, the more we should strengthen our relations. What is technology for if it cannot foster better relationships, if it will only take us apart? To advance is to be better. Why is the opposite happening to the very core of the family? Why are marriages falling apart? Love is the catalyst that moves our relationships. The Bible says, God is love, therefore when we follow God,  He directs our affairs. Beyond the wedding day is a lifetime that should be spent together as one husband and wife, one unit in society. Beyond the vows is the commitment to be there for each other through thick or thin.   Read the full article

[authorralph]

Family

An African proverb says, “A family tie is like a tree, it can bend but it cannot break.” How true! Some things never change no matter how fast the world rotates on its axis, no matter how rushed our days are. The culture of digital nomadism has been emphasized by technological progress. The world has gotten smaller and smaller so much so that news from one corner of the world has lightning-fast tendency to be made known to other corners, and jet-setting is no longer just for the rich. While technology allows us to span the world quicker, it also has the power to tear us apart. Perhaps it’s safe to say there has never been so much restlessness in people than in our present time. Everybody just has to go somewhere, even if the end goal is only to gain approval from loyal followers online. This tears families apart. This tests shakes friendships to the core. Families and meaningful relationships suffer due to the effects of technology. It is disheartening to see how many have forgotten that the family is the basic unit of society. There are familial bonds that are ignored and unappreciated, but a family is a family no matter what. Beyond differences of opinion, the tie that holds together the family can never be broken. We may dislike members of our family, but in spite of ourselves, a family is a family. What can a family do then to protect its tie? If we all remember that beyond our individuality all of us are special and important members of a society, we would be better off. If we remember that beyond our dreams and ambitions there is a greater plan, we will be better off. If we remember the persons who are responsible for our present, the father and mother or the guardian who sacrificed something for our sake, we will be better off. We cannot choose our family, but we can choose how to be a family. Read the full article

[authorralph]

Teaching Kindness

Billions of dollars are spent on education in America. We put a premium on the quality of education we can afford for our children. Yet education is not a guarantee that a child will do well in life. In fact, the best kind of education is not the education from within the classroom. The most important kind of education is the education at home, the education that teaches a child kindness and respect. Although math, languages, science, history, and art are important factors of our day-to-day life, they are not as important as humility, respect, and kindness. These are the first lessons that should be grilled into our children if we want them to be the best version of themselves. Education alone does not make a man kind and respectful. Some educated men are worse than the uneducated ones. Some educated men and women become greedy and selfish industry tycoons. Of course, not every educated man turns out that way, but money, status, and power oftentimes push people away from the real important things in life like family and faith. Children are like sponges. They easily absorb whatever is poured on them. Give them love and appreciation, and they reflect those back. Raise them in negativity and they spread the same to others. Children who grow up in abusive environments reflect those abuse and sometimes bully others to assert themselves. But children who are raised in love and positivity give the very same to others. Hence, when they receive the most important education at home, the more teachable and coachable they become in and out of the classroom, the better off they are in life. Teaching kindness simply means showing it. You can’t teach calm and scream at every time you get frustrated. When you want to teach patience, you have to be, first and foremost, patient yourself. When you want to children to love others, you have to first let them feel loved. Example, after all, is the best teacher in life. Read the full article

[authorralph]

Beyond Parenthood

The roles parents play in the lives of their children are unlimited; meaning, the roles are not limited by time, place, or anything else. Once a person becomes a parent, he or she has gained a responsibility that will last a lifetime. Parents are the first teachers of their child. They are the role models. They are the living examples of what is and is not good behaviors. Parents are the source of a child’s confidence, faith, and courage. When a child knows that his or her parents have faith in what he or she can do, there is security in the child’s life. When he or she is taught and shown the importance of faith, he or she will most likely live in faith. Raising a child goes beyond the basic necessities of a tiny human, like food, clothing, shelter, and education. Raising a child means more than providing for his or her material needs. The needs that are far more important to a child’s well-being are not material things. Every child—actually, every person big or small—has emotional needs that are more pressing than physical needs. We all long for a friend, a companion, or a confidante. A child is no exception. He or she needs love, attention, security. Every parent must extend his or her patience, understanding, and kindness. It is not easy to be a child. To want something and be denied, to wonder about something and receive no explanation are not easy. Hence beyond parenthood, there is the responsibility to be there for a child in whatever way is necessary. One cannot be a parent all the time. Sometimes a parent has to be counsellor, sometimes a friend. Beyond parenthood, a parent still has to be there for his or her child. A parent has to pave the way for the child to follow whether that way is toward a dream, a goal, or toward the most beautiful destination of all—Christ. Read the full article

[authorralph]

The Joy Beyond the Material World

The pull of capitalism is strong wherever we go. Young and old, rich and poor, men and women—all of us need and want material things. Capitalism is quick to feed our needs and most especially our wants, so much so that there are those who have hoarding habits, impulse buying, and even kleptomania (or just plain theft), not to mention credit card debts or debts in general. Materialism is so widespread that it has become our way of life. The pursuit of happiness is now synonymous to the latest gadget, the trendiest clothing and fashion accessories, the grandest vacation, the most number of likes in social media platforms, among many others. Simplicity is now hard to come by. Aside from all these, we are in a constant rush. Twenty-four hours is not enough anymore. Whenever possible, we’ll take on more and more tasks in order to make more and more money. Rest is a vague concept, and sleep is not of prime importance anymore. This is the material world that we live in today. Materialism is not inherently evil. Nothing is wrong about needing and wanting things. After all, we are in a physical world. However, the moment we allow materialism to rule us, that is a different story altogether. It takes us away from simplicity and removes joy and tranquility from our lives. Abundance is a wonderful blessing, but it does not mean materialism. One can be blessed abundantly and still live a simple and contented life. One can have so much yet remain humble. Beyond materialism is a better way of living, one not ruled by spur-of-the moment buys or influenced by the Joneses. Beyond the physical world and every little thing we value so much is one simple truth: all of these do not last forever, even us. The moment we realize that life is not about the properties, power, or fame will be the moment we set ourselves free to pursue the things that truly matter, like family, friendship, kindness, etc. These are what matters the most beyond the material world Read the full article

[authorralph]

What Matters Most

Much has been said about what should and should not matter to us, about how we should and should not be. Society has imposed its standards on us, and we believe it is necessary to catch up so we don’t get left behind. There are things, however, that we should prioritize over others. These are the things that define who we are as people. We put so much importance on the things that should matter to us, but oftentimes, these are the things that don’t last long. We value power over people. We emphasize material possessions more than real connections. Such are the realities of living today. We often forget about the things that should matter more than anything else: family and friends, faith in God, and the right values, like courage, hard work, and kindness. Sometimes we say “I love you” to other people but don’t mean it. We say “I love you” out of habit. We forget that beyond those words are the actions that matter more, like forgiving, paying attention, caring, sharing, and being kind. It doesn’t matter how often you say “I love you.” Words alone don’t mean much. When we focus on things that truly matter, we go beyond the usual and become better versions of who we are. When we genuinely care about others, we make a difference in other people’s lives. It doesn’t matter whether what we do affects one or two people or maybe a whole community. When we go beyond words and beyond our self-focus, every effort counts, big or small. In the end, our standards of living today will be our undoing in the future. They will be the demise of real, honest friendships. They will challenge the family as the basic unit of the community. They will hurt us and hurt those people that should mean the world to us. Before it’s too late, here’s hoping we will realize our mistakes and go beyond the usual instant gratification we subscribe to. More than anything else, let your “I love you” truly reach the heart of others and, more importantly, your own. Read the full article

[authorralph]

What Matters Most

Much has been said about what should and should not matter to us, about how we should and should not be. Society has imposed its standards on us, and we believe it is necessary to catch up so we don’t get left behind. There are things, however, that we should prioritize over others. These are the things that define who we are as people. We put so much importance on the things that should matter to us, but oftentimes, these are the things that don’t last long. We value power over people. We emphasize material possessions more than real connections. Such are the realities of living today. We often forget about the things that should matter more than anything else: family and friends, faith in God, and the right values, like courage, hard work, and kindness. Sometimes we say “I love you” to other people but don’t mean it. We say “I love you” out of habit. We forget that beyond those words are the actions that matter more, like forgiving, paying attention, caring, sharing, and being kind. It doesn’t matter how often you say “I love you.” Words alone don’t mean much. When we focus on things that truly matter, we go beyond the usual and become better versions of who we are. When we genuinely care about others, we make a difference in other people’s lives. It doesn’t matter whether what we do affects one or two people or maybe a whole community. When we go beyond words and beyond our self-focus, every effort counts, big or small. In the end, our standards of living today will be our undoing in the future. They will be the demise of real, honest friendships. They will challenge the family as the basic unit of the community. They will hurt us and hurt those people that should mean the world to us. Before it’s too late, here’s hoping we will realize our mistakes and go beyond the usual instant gratification we subscribe to. More than anything else, let your “I love you” truly reach the heart of others and, more importantly, your own. Read the full article

[authorralph]

Sharing Love and Blessings

Blessings come in different shapes and sizes. Sharing them to others is an integral part of life. it doesn’t matter what you share or how much you share as long as you share with an open heart. Everybody needs a helping hand every now and then. Time and compassion are wonderful blessings we can share with friends, family members, or neighbors who badly need them. Sometimes, we need someone to talk to so we can unburden ourselves. Sometimes, we need someone to look after our kids while we rest and recover from a stressful day or from an illness. Sometimes we need to run an errand and need someone to feed the kids. Hence, time can be a blessing to others. Money too is a blessing. It is not the root of all evil. It’s loving it that makes it evil. Imagine the many people you can bless when you share your financial blessings. Sharing doesn’t mean though that you have to give out wads of cash. Sometimes buying someone a meal or a cup of coffee is enough to bless you and the person you are sharing with. Sometimes, helping a kid with school supplies is enough sharing. Sometimes buying a less-fortunate neighbor his or her groceries is enough sharing. Sometimes, sharing one’s talent is enough. Perhaps an officemate needs his or her car to be fixed but he or she cannot afford a mechanic. Stepping in to help is enough sharing of talent. Sometimes a community or organization needs help to raise funds. Volunteering is sharing. Sometimes singing to the elderlies or telling them stories or listening to theirs is enough sharing of time and talent. In other words, there are many things we can share and countless way to share if we truly find it in our hearts to be a joy and blessing to others. Expensive gifts will be appreciated, but every gift that comes from the heart is enough blessing. Most important of all, when we share, we do not only become a blessing to others, but we received way more blessings in return. Such is the law of giving. When you do good, it will return to you a hundredfold. Sharing is beyond “I love you.” Read the full article