Golden Lights & Shields Chapter 8
Ikaris x Male Reader
A/N: Finally finished this chapter lol Enjoy!
Y/N’s not sure how long he sat perch on top of the crown of the Statue of Liberty. He let the cool air of tonight brush through him as he went over and over in his head on what just transpired. They broke up. Him. Ikaris. No longer together anymore.
Y/N had run and flown across all of New York to try and escape his pain, but he couldn’t. It was fresh and new, like an opened wound that would not close.
After everything they’ve been through. It was all over.
Y/N cried a few more times and finally trusted that he was composed enough to start flying again. He thought about heading to his apartment in upstate New York, but he didn’t want to be alone right now,so he went to the only two people in New York who would probably be the most sympathetic about his current situation.
Y/N knocked on the door of the apartment and waited patiently for the owner on the other side to open it. He glanced down at his feet as he waited. The sound of the door unlocking was heard as Y/N’s ears perked up as he came face to face with almost naked Bucky Barnes. He was in black boxer briefs. “Oh, hey, Y/N. What’s up?”
Any other day Y/N would have blushed at seeing Bucky like this, but tonight he was too upset. “I… Umm…” Y/N stuttered out.
Before he could finish his sentence, Steve came up behind Bucky, wrapped in a white sheet. “Who’s at the door Buck—Oh, hey, Y/N. What brings you here?”
“I-I was in the neighborhood and I…” Y/N’s voice trailed off.
Bucky noticed Y/N’s shift in moods. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
Y/N looked into Bucky’s icy blues as his eyes began to water. Bucky immediately got what was wrong as his concerned face shifted to a frown. “Y/N, did he hurt you? Did he try to force you?”
Y/N was silent as Bucky growled and turned away from the door as he stormed to his and Steve’s shared bedroom as he started putting on his suit. Steve was at the doorway wide eyed. “Buck? What are you doing?”
“What does it look like, Steve? I’m going over to that bastard’s apartment and gonna teach him to keep his hands to himself.”
Steve blocked Bucky's path. “Buck wait let’s talk—”
“—There’s nothing to talk about, Stevie,” Bucky said as he moved past Steve.
The second person to block Bucky was Y/N. His eyes were watery as he pleaded. “Don’t Bucky. Please?”
“Why shouldn't I?” Bucky demanded. “That… creep tried to hurt you! That is not okay! And I swear to everything that's good in this world if I get my hands on him—”
“—He didn’t hurt me, Bucky. At least not physically.”
“What does that mean, Y/N?”
“Can I come in?” Y/N asked. “I’ll explain everything.”
“Sure.”
Steve made tea for all of them as Y/N and Bucky sat at the kitchen table. Y/N thanked Steve for the cup as he took a sip. “So, Y/N. What’s going on with you?”
Y/N sighed. “Ikaris and I…”
“What, Y/N? You know you can tell us anything and we won’t judge you,” Steve said gently.
Y/N licked his lips as he looked at the two super-soldiers as he admitted the bitter truth. “Ikaris and I broke up.”
“Broke up? Why?”
“I came back to Ikaris’s apartment, and I told him I was tired of being cautious around him, and for him to be open with me on how he was feeling and he did. I asked him if he blamed me for what happened to his family and he said he did,” Y/N says. “That’s when I left and cried all around the city before coming here.”
Steve and Bucky were silent for a long time before Bucky placed a metal hand on Y/N’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You having to go through that.”
“Yeah, we can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now,” Steve said.
“Thank you, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, maybe Ikaris was right. I was foolish for thinking this could work between us. I’m a human–Chaos witch being and he’s an immortal synthetic being. It was only a matter of time before it came crumbling down. I’m just glad it happened after the Emergence.”
“You really believe that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Your heart really is broken, isn’t it?”
“Maybe it is, but we can’t afford to be blinded by emotions right now. The world needs us more now than ever before,” Y/N said.
“Y/N, I get you to want to ignore this pain, but if you don’t let it out, then it becomes a dangerous weapon. Especially for someone as powerful as you.” Bucky said.
“I just can’t right now, Bucky. Can we please not talk about this anymore?”
“Sure.”
“Can I stay here tonight?”
“Of course. You’re always welcome here.”
….
Y/N spent his time with Steve and Bucky and tried to ignore the pain he felt on the inside.
Y/N was training with Steve and Bucky one day against a makeshift Celestial that Tony and Bruce created. Steve thought it best to try to prepare themselves as much as they could. The robot Celestial shot repulsors out of its eyes as Steve blocked it with his new vibranium shield that Tony had made since Sam had his old one. Bucky ran and swiped at its legs with a vibranium knife, causing it to stagger a bit. The machine turned and set its sights on Y/N, as the young hero wasn’t paying attention. It charged up a blast. “Y/N, watch out!” Steve says.
The young male turns around and forms a shield just in time, but is still knocked on his ass as he falls with a grunt. The robot Celestial towers over Y/N as it prepares for another strike.
“Stop!” Y/N’s eyes flash as the machine freezes in place. Y/N stands to his feet. Steve and Bucky rush to his side. “You alright, there, kid?” Bucky asked.
“I'm fine, Bucky,” Y/N dusts off his Eternal suit.
“You sure, Y/N? I meant you fell pretty hard—”
“—I said I'm fine, Steve!” Y/N realized he just snapped at Steve. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Y/N.”
“No. No, it’s not okay. Nothing will ever be okay again. The person I gave my heart to broke it in half and I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of emotions and I… I just… I just wanna scream!!”
The robot Celestial began to glow for a moment before it spontaneously combusted into a million pieces. Y/N had unintentionally done that. His anger and sadness had been projected onto the robot and he had used his powers on it.
Y/N looked at Steve and Bucky. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Y/N. Just let it all out,” Bucky said, gently. Y/N sat on a bench, and Steve and Bucky joined him. “We’re here for you if you wanna talk about it.”
Y/N sighed. “The worst thing I can think of has already happened to me and I can’t change it. I can’t undo it. I can’t control this pain anymore and I don’t think I want to because it’s my truth.”
“What’s your truth?”
Y/N looked at Steve and Bucky. “That despite my broken heart. I’m still in love with Ikaris and I probably always will be. Does that make me pathetic?”
“Of course, it doesn't. It makes you human,” Steve said. “Do you remember what I told you after the Lagos incident?” Y/N thought back to that day. Brock Rumlow had activated a bomb to kill Steve, but Y/N and Wanda had contained the blast, but threw Rumlow into a building with Wakandan relief workers. It had been one of the worst days of his life.
“Yeah, you said after Rumlow mentioned Bucky, you felt like a sixteen-year-old kid in Brooklyn. Why sixteenth?” Y/N asked.
Steve blushed a bit. “It… It was the first time I realized that I liked Bucky as more than just a friend. It’s when I fell in love with him.”
“Aww, such a sap, Punk,” Bucky teased.
“Jerk,” Steve grumbled.
“What does this have to do with me?”
“My point is, I know exactly what you’re going through. The first time I lost Bucky on that train was the worst day of my life. My heart died that day and it hurt even worse knowing Bucky had died before I got to tell him how I felt about him,” Steve said. “Then I got him back only to lose him again, only to have him come back to me. Enduring all that pain and sadness has led us to finally be happy with each other.”
“Long story short, Y/N. Don’t wait to tell Ikaris what’s in your heart. Tell him while you can, even if you aren’t together anymore. You deserve to give yourself some closure,” Bucky said.
“What if Ikaris was the one?” Y/N asked.
“He was. And he always will be an epic love, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone you really like again,” Bucky said.
“If you never found Bucky again, Steve. Would you have moved on?” Y/N asked the blonde haired man.
“Honestly? Probably not. I mean, there was Sharon, but no. My heart will always belong to Bucky,” Steve smiled as he kissed Bucky on the cheek, causing him to blush.
Y/N nodded his head as he stood up. “Thank you both for your advice. I think I know what I have to do now.”
“Are you sure you want to do this alone?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Y/N sighed as he stood outside Ikaris’s apartment. A place that had once been so welcoming was now just a cruel reminder of their breakup. It was now or never. Y/N knocked on the door. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited in nervous anticipation for Ikaris to answer the door. He knew Ikaris was in there; he could hear his heart beating and vice versa.
The door finally opened and Ikaris came into view as Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, just like it had the first day they met in the coffee shop. Ikaris looked sad, and he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping very well. “Hi,” Y/N said.
“Hello,” Ikaris said.
“I know this might be weird, but can I come in?”
“Of course, come in.” Ikaris opened the door fully and moved to the side as Y/N passed him and walked inside the apartment. The first thing Y/N noticed was all the empty beer and whiskey bottles. Ikaris had tried to numb his pain with alcohol. Looks like YN wasn’t the only one wrecked by their breakup.
“So, what brings you by? Other than the clothes you left here,” Ikaris said as he cleaned up the empty bottles.
Y/N sat down on the couch. “I came by because there are some things that I have to tell you and I feel like if I don’t, then I’ll explode.”
Ikaris nodded his head. “Go on, tell me. I deserve whatever comes my way.”
Y/N sighed. “I think we should start with the most obvious thing. Our breakup from the other night. It’s evident that neither of us took it well.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Ikaris I… I need you to know that despite everything that’s happened, I still care about you. Hell, I might—No, I’m sure that I’m still in love with you. Maybe it's too soon.”
“You still love me?” Ikaris asked, shocked.
“Yeah, I do. And I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you. I should have let you come to me when you were ready, but I pushed and didn’t think. I was so caught up in my own self righteousness that I was dumb enough to think we weren’t going to get caught for what we did to Tiamut. That our actions wouldn’t have consequences. Because of me, Kingo, Sersi, and Phastos are being punished, and I can’t apologize enough for that. I get why you hate me. I hate myself.”
Y/N let a few tears fall down his face as he stood up. “I just wanted to let you know that, and that I never meant to hurt you, or make you question your way of life. I'll see myself out now.”
Ikaris’s heart hurt seeing Y/N walk away crying. Just like that terrible night a few days ago. He let Y/N walk out on him once. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again. “I'm an idiot.”
Y/N paused at the door and turned to look at Ikaris. His face was stained with tears. “What?”
“I said I’m an idiot,” Ikaris repeats. “I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me slip through my fingers and I’m an idiot for letting you go. I’m an idiot for blaming you for my own weakness.”
“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Ikaris. I know I messed up big time and I will spend whatever time I have left on this planet thinking about the choice I made and all the people I hurt because of it.”
“No, Y/N, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine,” Ikaris said. “I hurt you and I made you believe it was your fault, but no one is to blame but me. I do what I always do. I push the people I care most about away.”
“What do you mean?”
“When Ajak told me about the Emergence, I cut myself off from everyone and in the process I hurt Sersi in more ways than one, and now it’s too late to apologize for it,” Ikaris looked at Y/N, his blue eyes watering.
“Now I’m making that same mistake with you. I’m hurting you and pushing you away because I feel that I don’t deserve to have someone like I you in my life. Someone who’s always stood by me and believed I could do good. Now it’s too late to fix what I broke. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry I hurt you and blamed you.”
“Iceberg…” Y/N’s voice cracked as he ran to Ikaris and hugged him. The Eternal wrapped his arms around Y/N and hugged him tightly. Ikaris sighed as he felt that familiar warmth coming from Y/N. He missed that warmth. The two stayed like that for a while, but Y/N eventually let go.
“So… Where do we go from here?” Y/N asked Ikaris as he searched his piercing blue eyes for answers.
Ikaris sighed. “I don't know Duckling. For once, I feel at a loss on what to do.”
Y/N nodded his head. “I get that things won’t ever be the same between us after this, but I’m willing to try to make this work. Maybe we should start small.”
“How small?”
“Back to the start. From zero and work our way up until we can truly say we’re comfortable with each other again.”
“What if I said that I’m comfortable now?” Ikaris asked as he got closer to Y/N. He desperately wanted to kiss Y/N again. Feel his soft lips on his own.
Y/N wanted to give into the temptation. Like Eve tempting Adam with the apple, but he had to be strong. As much as he didn’t want to be. “How about this? You give me until Christmas and then we go from there. Until then, we pretend like we just met. Deal?”
Ikaris smiled. It’s the first time he’s smiled since that night. “For you, Y/N. I would wait an entire lifetime.”
Y/N smiled as well.
….
Y/N and Ikaris did start from scratch as they texted each other every day and occasionally went for walks in the park or hung out and watched movies. Slowly, but surely, they grew closer together once again. Falling into their old ways before their breakup. Though, it was the day that Y/N went to get coffee was the day Ikaris won his heart once again.
It seemed like fate was pushing them together as Y/N went to get coffee for a team meeting with the Avengers like he had last year. It was snowing gently outside and Y/N watched it with a fond sadness. Today would have been their one-year anniversary. They met in this coffee shop. If only Y/N could go back to those simpler times.
Y/N was so distracted by today that he accidentally spilled his cup of hot chocolate all over the floor. He apologized for spilling it as workers came to clean it up. Y/N sighed as he looked at the contents of his ruined drink.
“Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice you spilled your drink.” Y/N turned to see Ikaris smiling at him. He was dressed in the same jacket the first time they met. Maybe it was fate pushing them together after all.
Y/N smiled as the words rolled off his tongue like a movie. “Yeah, a real travesty. No sense crying over spilled chocolate.”
“Well, I was going to offer to buy you another cup, but it seems like you’re over it already.”
“What makes you think I’d accept your offer Mr…?” Y/N teased using the same dialogue as the first time.
“Ikaris,” Ikaris smiled.
“Just ‘Ikaris’, or do you have a last name?”
“Just Ikaris.”
“Well, ‘Just Ikaris.’ I might just take you up on that drink.”
“I was hoping for more of a date. That is, if you’re interested?”
Y/N smiled as his heart melted like it had the first time. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
Christmas came and things were starting to look up for them. Y/N decided to invite Ikaris to the Avenger’s Christmas party. And while he protested that they probably didn't want him there because of what he did to Y/N, the young Avenger convinced him to join them and convinced the others to play nice with Ikaris. For the most part, things were peaceful. Then they had run out of eggnog and Y/N volunteered to go get some more at the store on the corner of the building. Once he bundled up; he headed out into the frigid air as snow lightly fell on him.
Once he reached his intended destination, Y/N grabbed five bottles before heading to the counter to pay for them. That’s when he was caught in the middle of a robbery.
“Give me all the money in the cash register, now!” The thug demanded. His gun was raised at the poor cashier’s head and before Y/N could act, a golden light shot out and melted the gun in the thief’s hand. He and Y/N turned to see Ikaris standing there with a smug smile on his face.
“No honor among thieves? Not even during Christmas?”
“What the fuck are you, man?” The thief charged as Ikaris gently swatted him to the side and knocked him out. Ikaris turned to the cashier. “Call the police and have them come pick him up.” The cashier nodded and did as Ikaris instructed as he winked at Y/N and turned to leave.
Y/N smiled as he looked at the cashier. “What a nice guy. Am I right?”
After bringing the eggnog to the other Avengers, Y/N asked Ikaris to join him on the roof. Ikaris was waiting for him when he stepped off the elevator and opened the door to the roof. Ikaris turned to him and smiled as the snow gently fell on his head, making him look so cute and kinda hot.
“I heard a handsome stranger saved you at the store just now,” Ikaris said.
“Oh, he was handsome? Guess I really wasn’t paying attention,” Y/N teased as he walked up to Ikaris.
“So, why did you want me to come up here?” Ikaris asked him.
“I wanted to give you your Christmas present,” Y/N said as he handed Ikaris a small present.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Ikaris said.
“Trust me. You’ll like this gift.”
Ikaris tore open the small wrapping paper and opened the box to find a small letter inside of it. The Eternal grabbed the note and held it up as he read it. There were only two words written on it. Simple words that meant a turning point for both of them. It said: ‘I’m ready.’
Ikaris looked up at Y/N, shocked. He agreed to give Y/N time and now that it was Christmas, he finally had his answer. He wanted to get back together. “Does this… does this mean what I think it means?”
“You bet it does, Iceberg,” Y/N said. “Together again and this time I’m not letting you go.” Y/N leaned up and kissed Ikaris gently on the lips. It was sweet, innocent, and it was everything Ikaris wanted. Y/N was his boyfriend once again and after he gave him his own Christmas present, hopefully they would be something more.
“Come on, Duckling. You can do better than that,” Ikaris teased as he captured Y/N lips again with a more passionate kiss. Snowflakes whirled around them in the night sky of this magical holiday. They broke apart as Ikaris’s blue eyes were shining. “I have a gift for you as well.” His voice was a tad bit lower, and that sent more chills up Y/N’s spine than the cold ever could.
Ikaris pulled a ring out of his pocket and got down on one knee. Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise; he hadn't expected this. Ikaris looked totally exposed and vulnerable. His walls were down as he asked Y/N in a very shaky voice. “Y/N, Maximoff. I know that I have no right to ask this after everything that I put you through, but will you make me the happiest Eternal in the world and marry me? I’m yours, Y/N. If you’ll have me?”
“But you are allowed to live a life, you know? Go tell Sersi how you feel.” Ajak’s phantom voice echoed in his head. Only it wasn’t Sersi he had feelings for this time. It was Y/N.
Y/N was so shocked by this that he couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Technically, they had been married in Westview, but that didn’t count. That had been Wanda’s happily ever after. Y/N and Ikaris just went along for the ride. This time, it was real. This time it was Y/N’s turn to get the guy and the happy ending.
Y/N looked into Ikaris’s blue orbs, which were darting around with nervous anticipation. The youngest Maximoff broke out into a huge goofy grin, tears streaming down his face like some chick flick movie. “Yes, Iceberg. I’ll marry you.”
Ikaris smiled as tears fell from his eyes as well as he stood up and kissed Y/N. The love between the two of them was something of a fairy tale or romantic movie as they floated into the air high on their rekindled love for each other. When they finally came back down to earth, Y/N looked at Ikaris with a mischievous grin.
“You know Pietro and Wanda are gonna kill you for this, right?”
Ikaris smiled too. “Well, then I guess I’ll die a happy man then.”
When Y/N and Ikaris headed back down to the party, everyone took notice of the band on Y/N’s left hand. Needless to say, Y/N’s never heard Pietro curse so much in Sokovian as he chased after Ikaris into the cool night. Ikaris smiled to himself as he put some distance between himself and Y/N’s pissed off older brother. Years of racing Makkari kept him alive.
