So You Want To Record a Podfic?
So Les Mis Podfic Week ( @lesmispodficweek ) is coming up in June and in order for us to maximize the amount of amazing podfic for this fandom, I thought I’d make a tutorial for anyone out there who thought about making podfic, but then looked and said “well this is rather terrifying” and ran in the other direction.
I’m here to make recording podfic easy peasy lemon squeezy. Mostly so you can make the amazing authors you’re reading for squee with delight.
This post is going to just be about setting up to record podfic, we’ll handle the mess of actually recording and editing later. (and if you’ve been around the block before, I’ve hidden some trade secrets in here for all interested parties)
So to start out you’re going to need 4 things:
A microphone
A free piece of software called Audacity
A super awesome amazing fanfiction to record
A bunch of big blankets and chairs.
Let’s tackle these one by one below the cut. (and we’ll do a summary at the end)
MICROPHONE
Please, for the love of all that is holy, get a microphone.
If you do one thing for me, it will be going outside (scary, I know) and retrieving a microphone. It can be a:
Beautiful, expensive Blue Snowball or Blue Yeti
A cheap, less than $25CAN microphone from Walmart
That USB Microphone that came with your Xbox or Playstation so you could play Rock Band when you were 9
Hell, at worst, use the microphone on your smartphone.
But please, PLEASE do not use your laptop microphone. It sucks. No matter what computer you have, IT IS THE WORST.
“But Amanda, I sound okay on Skype and Discord, do I really need…”
YES. YES YOU DO.
When you record sound using your laptop microphone… it also picks up all those lovely little sounds happening inside your computer that you can’t hear. And it’s nigh impossible to edit them out. I want to hear you reading, not your computer. So PLEASE get some kind of microphone.
Ideally, you want a microphone that has a USB on one end. That’s going to be the easiest way to do this.
“But Amanda! My microphone has a 3.5mm Headphone jack on the end!”
That’s alright. There should be a microphone port on your laptop next to where you plug in your headphones. If there isn’t, record into an app on your smartphone/tablet and then download it to your computer.
“But Amanda! There’s some port on the end that’s not a USB and it’s not a headphone jack…”
Props to you for finding a fancy professional microphone! But, you’re going to need an adapter. Most music stores sell them.
“But Amanda! Can’t I just use the microphone on my headphones?”
You know, I’ve never actually tried this. If anyone can get it to work, please let me know and I'll link how to do it here. (You might be able to record this way using an app on a smartphone/tablet.)
AUDACITY
So now that I made you go spend money on a microphone, I’m damn well NOT going to make you spend money on software. Enter a free, open-source, lovely program called Audacity. Think of Audacity like the cheap grocery stores of the world. Everything is the same (mostly) as the big, fancy, grocery stores, but you get everything for cheaper because the store doesn’t look pretty.
Audacity looks intimidating and terrifying, but we’re here to help. You can make Audacity your bitch.
But first you need to install it. Or… you need to install two parts of it.
The actual program
A piece of extra software that will let you import and export MP3s (called Lame)
There are a dozen tutorials on how to install this software so I’m just going to link them here:
DOWNLOAD AUDACITY HERE: https://www.audacityteam.org/ DOWNLOAD LAME (the software that lets you use MP3s) HERE: https://lame.buanzo.org/#lamewindl
INSTRUCTIONS TO INSTALL BOTH (for WINDOWS): https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_and_updating_audacity_on_windows.html
INSTRUCTIONS TO INSTALL BOTH (for MAC): https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_and_updating_audacity_on_mac_os_x.html
Note: If you also want to work with WMAs, then you may also need to download another piece of software called FFmpeg. The installation instructions above cover that as well.
Okay, now that you installed those, did you restart your computer? Audacity won’t link up the two pieces of software if you don’t. Go do that and come back.
PICKING A FIC
Look, I know that 60k slow burn, fake dating AU owns a small part of your soul. I get it. I’ve been there.
This is not the fic you want to pick for your first podfic. Trust me when I say pick something short.
One-shots in the 3k-5k range are a good first project. It’ll give you more than enough audio to practice your editing skills, and shouldn’t take you much longer than a couple hours to record.
More importantly, it should edit down to something about 30 min. long, which is an easily listenable length for most people.
“But Amanda! I reaaaaaaalllly like this one fic and…”
Live your dreams, kid. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Another thing you have to do is ask the author if you have permission to make a podfic of their work. Some authors don’t like it, and others will be absolutely thrilled. In the case of Les Mis Podfic Week, everyone on the list has granted permission, so you’re good on that front.
BLANKETS AND CHAIRS
Time to get comfy, yo. Put on some PJs. Drag out some pillows. And then box the whole thing in with the best damn blanket barricade fort you’ve ever built.
(has anyone else noticed that Courf just hands Gavroche a gun in this scene? OMG)
And then christen the barricade fort by reciting the recording cardinal rule:
THOU SHALT RECORD GOOD AUDIO.
No amount of editing or fancy software can fix audio that was bad in the first place, so nest yourself into an environment that’s as close to perfect as you can get.
Building a blanket fort is a cheap way to build a (mostly) soundproof space. The blankets are soft and will absorb harsh sounds, but also insulate the space from outside.
You could create a blanket fort one of two ways:
The classic tables, chairs and blankets method
Throwing a comforter over your head while you record
One of these ways looks more like a barricade. Just saying.
If you’re blankets don’t quite reach the ground it’s okay. Just make the side you’re speaking towards longer than the side towards your back (this will also help to ventilate the fort, which will probably get hella warm).
Then climb in your fort, set up your computer and plug in your microphone.
Now sit for a full minute in quiet meditation and just listen.
You’re listening for anything that would interrupt your revolution you would consider loud and annoying while you were making a very important phone call.
Are there windows open? Can you hear the outside world? Close them. We are going to a world of pure imagination, we don’t want the real world.
Is the fan on your computer being unbelievably loud at this, the one time you need it to be quiet? Close some of the things you have open and see if it calms down. If not, move the microphone to the opposite side of your computer from the fan, and pull it as far away from your computer as you can. I like to stick my computer outside the blanket fort and the microphone inside on one of the chairs.
Can you hear other people in the house? Ask them to be quiet while you record, or move to a part of the house where you can’t hear them.
Is the air/heart in your house very loud? Mine is SO LOUD. It’s like a vacuum cleaner, I swear. Turn it off.
Basically, you’re looking to eliminate any sound you have control over.
Now you’re ready to record. We’ll deal with how to do this in another how-to, but some things to consider:
Be very still. Your microphone will pick up you shuffling. Get comfy or pause to shift and then continue reading. You can always cut out the shuffling parts in editing.
Take breaks. Stretch. I like to do this every time there’s a page break.
Bring a drink. Your voice is gonna go wonky with all that chatter. Enjolras is gonna be a word that gets harder and harder to say. Feuilly’s just gonna be hard right from the start.
Watch your microphone cord. If your microphone is handheld, the shifting of the cord as you speak will also be picked up by the microphone.
Consider duct taping handheld microphones to lamps. No, I’m not kidding. Duct tape your microphone to a lamp. Got one of those articulated lamps like in the Pixar logo? Look at that, you’ve basically got a professional microphone stand. AND IT’S ALSO A LAMP.
Don’t read straight into your microphone. Hold it/set it up a couple of inches to the left or right of where you’re speaking towards. This will stop you from popping your P-s and spitting your S-es
NOW LOOK AT YOU!
You’re practically a professional already.
So let’s say the recording cardinal rule together.
Thou shalt record good audio by:
Using a real microphone. NOT YOUR LAPTOP MICROPHONE.
Downloading and installing Audacity. And the extra bit that lets you use MP3s.
Picking a fic to read that’s around 3k.
Building a badass blanket fort and eliminating ambient noise.
If you have any questions or are really stuck on something, you can reach out and message me. Also, if this tutorial was helpful to you, tag me in whatever you make! I want to hear how awesome you sound.
You got this, kid. Now go out there and tell the world’s stories.
(also <3 to @mysunfreckle for helping me format this in a way that was actually readable)
