Letter No. 11
March 8th, 2008
I have decided to create a pillow book. At first I had wrongfully associated a pillow book with erotica. It’s nothing of the sort. Well it could be, actually, if you lead a highly eroticized life, I guess. In my case, my pillow book will consist on a series of hand-made journals in which I will have all sorts of mementos, photographs and souvenirs I have collected all of my life. From here on I shall record my life through graphic journals for as long as I have strength in my heart and courage in my soul. My room has a huge trunk, which had remained unorganized for many, many years, a decade perhaps. I used to throw things inside without carefully noticing what they were. I had commemorative magazines. I kept, for example, the special edition of Spanish magazine HOLA which was dedicated to the wedding of Prince Charles with Diana Spencer, dated July 1981. I also had all of my birthday cards since I was 9. I had all my souvenirs from my numerous trips to Europe when I was in college. I found several unfinished journals which I had started—and left half way—from when I was a teenager. I even came across several of my early poetry, when I still wrote in Spanish. Hidden among it all I unearthed a few pictures of my two boyfriends. Most of all there are photographs from when I was a newborn all the way to my late 20s. To tell you the truth I really don’t know what has really inspired me to put my life together this way. It is something that I feel the urge to do, however long it will take to complete. Anais Nin kept a journal all of her life. Her most intimate thoughts and ventures are now considered literary classics. I am not yet Anais Nin, but I do think that in every woman there is a treasure to be found. I have had a very fruitful life. In more ways than one, my life is only starting. Remember what I have said, my life started all over again after having met you, loved you and lost you. However, if I do look back I can see a wonderful ordeal of experiences and very touching, dear moments. I want to record these moments forever, so that, someday, my legacy can be complete. I may not be a mother myself, but there will be mothers in the world as long as there are women. I want to journal my life for every woman who has loved passionately as I have. May my life serve as inspiration to countless daughters. With my writings, God’s willing, I shall recreate as much of your life as I know how. Your memory will live for always too. I shall then become a journalist. Whatever happens along the way, I will leave pebbles on the road so the world can find me—and remember me. I love you always.
