Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Warnings: does a handsy Jasper need a warning?
Notes: oh my god it’s been so long, I’ve been eating myself up over not posting. I’ve been working myself to death, but I’ve finally got a long weekend off and so I used it to get back to what makes me happy - this story! Omg I hope you guys love it🥹 I also have to go through and update my taglist later tonight, so bear with me on that until I add it!
Word Count: 1500
Series Masterlist
• April 3rd, 2006 • Forks HS •
Reader
Tingly.
That’s the state of my body this morning, the state of my mind.
Not only am I riding an emotional high from our conversation this weekend, but my dream last night… Good lord, that dream.
I can feel the echoes of his fingers on my skin, the coolness of his lips, the wet trail they would’ve left behind… the solid weight of what surely his body would feel like, pressed against mine. I can imagine all of what it would be like vividly, to be under him, to get carried away, to just explore-
“You alright, darlin’?”
His voice jolts me from the day dreaming stare I had on the locker before me, caught red handed. To make matters worse, that deep southern tenor questioned me inches from my ear, causing a blush to heat my cheeks to an almost uncomfortable degree.
“Perfectly fine, why?” I immediately busy myself within my locker so that I don’t have to face him right away.
“You do remember that I can feel you, right?” His voice is low and his hands find my hips tenderly, but the air changes around us.
My heart rate skyrockets, this is dangerous. His fingers flex against me and the death grip I have on this book in my hands turns my knuckles white.
“Jasper-” his name is a whispered warning, but also a plea.
“I know.” Instantly a cooling, soothing balm blankets our tension and I release the tightness in my chest. Leaning backwards into him I just feel tired all of a sudden, like I had run a marathon. “Let’s get out of here.”
His request sounds more like a demand and I twist in his arms, “Is that a good idea?”
“Darlin’, I don’t have many of those these days.” His mouth quirks up in a lopsided grin as he shoves all of my school supplies back in my locker, shutting it and tugging me along behind him towards the student parking lot.
Jasper
Something is on her mind, something dangerous. Something I absolutely want to know, something I’m not sure I have the strength for, but I can’t help it - it’s her.
I’ve never been more thankful for an overcast day with no rain: perfect motorcycle weather. Come to think of it, my sister had a knowing look in her eyes as my siblings all piled into their respective vehicles as I straddled my bike this morning. A decision that currently led me to now: Y/n and I leaving school before midday.
Those thoughts I interrupted earlier have her quiet, but her emotions are raging and it is driving me insane. Curiosity, need, nervousness - a dangerous concoction begging to overtake my rational mind. Separating myself from her feelings is almost impossible at this point, she is so well ingrained in me.
Finally arriving at my thankfully empty home, I shut my motorcycle off and offer a steady hand to help her dismount. Swinging my own leg over, I turn towards her and lean against it, observing her for a moment with crossed arms.
“What?” She makes eye contact as she struggles with the chin strap of my helmet.
Grabbing the helmet by the chin piece, I gently tug her forward between my legs, “Tell me.” I lace the command with neediness to encourage her to be pliant.
And judging by the way her lips part behind the dark visor, the immediate dilation of her eyes, and the weight of her hands settling on my thighs gently, I might’ve laid it on a little too thick.
Chuckling, I free her from my helmet and riding jacket. By the time I finish, she seems to snap from the daze and her hands clench on top of my legs.
“Not fair, Hale.” Feisty this morning.
I lean forward towards her ear with a grin as I stand from my bike to put away the gear, “All’s fair in love and war, sweetheart.”
Reaching to swat my chest, I grab her hand gently before she could injure herself.
Pausing as I hang my jacket up, her teasing response sends excitement through me, “Two can play at that game, baby.”
Stepping into my room, I realize too late what has her curiosity: my desk. Well, the art that occupies every inch, my art.
“What is all this?” Leafing through pencil sketches of my favorite hunting spots and pen etchings of my family at random moments, she gets to the important ones hidden below. Her breathing hitches and I know she’s found them, the ones of her.
Some are in pencil, some are in random felt-tip pens, but my favorites? Those are charcoal. A decently basic medium, but I feel like it captures so much more than anything else ever could. Maybe it’s because I use my fingers to smudge and shape her perfect curves and lines, but it radiates emotion in sweeping gestures and subtle shading - something that’s hard to capture with anything else.
“There’s-” awe, shock, surprise, they all shuffle through her and I’m on edge, waiting to hear her thoughts. “There’s so many…”
I watch her carefully examine each one and I smile when she chuckles at a few - some of her at school, some of her here in my home, moments I not only committed to memory, but to paper.
“Now you know what I do with my free time.” I smile through the minuscule anxiety that bubbles up at her seeing my secret hobby. Everyone in my family knows I draw, but they haven’t seen my drawings.
“Jasper…” I can tell she’s getting emotional, but a part of me is excited for her to see my innermost thoughts on paper, to see herself through my eyes - the unaltered beauty she contains.
“You haven’t even seen the ones I cherish the most.” Opening a familiar sketchbook buried under many other drawings, I reveal my favorites. “The very first ones.”
Her breath hitches, running a reverent finger down the first page. It’s the very first moment I saw her, crouched, scooping up papers on her first day of high school in Forks - absolutely radiant.
“You were a vision that day. A beautiful tornado that wrecked my world, I tried to capture every detail from memory because I never want to forget-”
Her hand finding my cheek breaks me from my explanation and my eyes find her watery ones, mouth open, searching for words clearly hard to get out, “Jasper…”
“I love you.” My confession steals her breath completely this time, the first time I’ve uttered these words aloud and it feels absolutely right. “I’ve loved you since the moment you hit me with that door. I knew I was absolutely ruined for anyone else and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Tilting her chin up with the tip of my finger as it wobbles at my confession, I smile, “Say something, darlin’.”
“I love you, too.” Now it’s my turn to go wholly still. “I knew from the moment I saw you I’d never be the same, I was yours-”
I couldn’t wait another second, I closed the minuscule gap between our mouths to seal these confessions. I love her and she loves me. Me.
Tilting her head back slightly as I cradle her, I take my cue to deepen the kiss, to pull her closer carefully. Groaning into her mouth, fuck I can’t get enough of her. Trailing kisses down her jawline as she tips her head to the side for much needed air, her gasps drive me to lift her onto my desk.
“Jaz…” her breathy plea of my nickname freezes me, panic seizing my actions.
“I am a gentleman, but only just barely.” My voice is gravel in my own ears, breathed down the slender column of her throat.
A shiver from her causes me to clench my jaw and attempt to gather myself.
“Maybe I don’t want a gentleman right now.” Her whisper damns me, it fucking sets me on fire.
A slamming door downstairs straightens my spine and my hands abandon the exploration of her. Fuck, my family’s timing couldn’t be better, but also worse.
“Honey, we’re home!” Emmett’s booming voice echoes up the stairs and immediately I know he knows, he can probably smell it.
Huffing, I help her regain her footing and straighten her clothes from the rumpled mess my hands made of it. I also take half a thought to smooth her arousal, a damn shame-but a necessity if we’re to face my siblings for the rest of the evening.
“Fucking Emmett.” Her frustration draws a chuckle from me as we make our way downstairs.
“I heard that!” My brother’s response causes her to roll her eyes at me playfully and I shake my head, my heart weighing much fuller in my chest as she plucks its invisible strings with her shit-eating grin.
⤖ genre: fluff, smut, angst, gardener!jeongguk x rich!reader, okay but jeongguk isn't really a gardener like that but you'll see, kinda slow burn but not really
⤖ pairing: jeongguk x female reader
⤖ rating: 18+
⤖ warnings: explicit language, sexual content
summary: jeongguk is just a normal dude with a simple routine. wake up, go to the gym, work his job as a waiter at this posh upscale restaurant in the heart of gangnam before coming home to a night full of video games and ramen (it's delicious and cheap). that routine gets disrupted when he accidentally taps the back of an expensive sports car of one of the richest men in south korea. considering he's broke, he couldn't afford to pay for the damages so the man makes a deal with him by offering him to work at his house as one of the gardeners. jeongguk takes it but wasn't prepared to meet this beautiful young woman who's constantly lounging by the pool, you, the rich man's daughter.
author's note: if you would like to be added to the taglist, pls send me an ask!
Summary: You’re still upset by the heartbreaking news you’ve received and accidentally snap at your family.
a/n: this will be the final part of this series, but not to worry! i’ve been writing more for bounty hunter!reader x din and i’m excited to tell you i’ve got a new series coming! thanks for the support! let me know what you think, please, i am BEGGING you.
sehnsucht (n): the inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what, a yearning for far, familiar, non-earthy land one can identify as one’s home.
Din calls your name as you walk in front of him. You don’t want to talk to him. You don’t want to argue. You don’t want to fight. So you just take a deep breath and walk faster, hoping to get to the ship before it starts raining.
“Please–” He tries to reason with you. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Din convinced you to go to one doctor’s appointment in Napater, a very rich planet that has the best doctors in the galaxy. You were hesitant, you didn’t want to at first, but he said he wanted to be with you this time. You felt guilty for not taking him on the first appointment back in Serenno, so you agreed.
But you didn’t think it’d be harder than the first time. You had to put yourself through the same exams you did in Serenno, only to hear the exact same words from the doctor. The chances of you getting pregnant were less than one percent. Din asked about other alternatives and the doctor explained all of them, but they were too expensive and you didn’t have enough credits for the treatments and procedures.
He calls your name once more and you take another deep breath, feeling the tears sting your eyes.
“What?! Isn’t this what you wanted?!” You snap, turning your heels and looking at him. “Do you believe me now?!”
“Cyare–”
“Don’t Cyare me!” You interrupt him, raising a hand as he reaches for you. Hot tears stream down your face as you look at him. “I didn’t want to come here.”
He knows. He knows you’re still upset about it and he knows doing that procedure once more was hard for you. Maybe he was selfish to have brought you here, but he just wanted to understand. He wanted to be there for you.
Din follows you in silence, heart heavy. When the ship comes to view, you start to feel the drops of rain on your hot skin. Swallowing the tears, you wait for Din to lower the ramp to the hull of the ship; anxious for your kid’s embrace, the only thing that could stop you from crying at the moment, you power walk inside towards the small compartment that the Child would usually be hidden in the rare times you left without him. As you press the button, you see him still napping, just like you left him.
“Hi, baby.” Your voice is soft as you pick him up, a small whimper comes out from his mouth, and he opens his eyes, looking at you with sleepy big orbits. “Did you have a good nap?”
You hear Din closing the hatch behind you and calling your name once more; you close your eyes, bringing the child closer to you, touching your forehead with his. He gives you a small whimper and moves in your arms, trying to free himself of the bundle of blankets that wrapped him like a burrito. Once he’s free, after your help, he stretches and yawn, wrapping his little arms around your neck. Turning around to face Din, you see him staring at you both and you start to feel guilty for snapping at him.
The Child looks at Din and smiles, stretching his arms towards him. The Mandalorian approaches you and takes him in his arms and you watch as he gives his dad a hug, just like he did with you.
“I believed you the first time,” Din says, his voice soft over the modulator. Sighing, you close your eyes, shaking your head. “I just–”
“Just drop it, Din.” You interrupt him before he can explain himself; tears burn your eyes again and you try to hold them in and shake your head, heading to the cockpit. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Sweet–”
“Just fucking drop it! This is already hard enough to me, okay, I don’t wanna fucking talk about it!”
You raise your voice, but immediately regret it. The Child gets startled by your voice and frowns at you, his ears flopping downwards and his big eyes watering. Shit. You realize your mistake and quickly try to fix it, in vain.
“I’m sorry, Mommy’s sorry.” You try to hold him, but he buries his little face on Din’s chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”
He starts crying loudly and you drop your arms on your side, feeling… Well, feeling everything. Sadness, anger, hopelessness. You realize you’re not mad at Din for making you go to Napater, but at yourself. You feel like it’s all your fault, because there’s something wrong with you that keeps you from having children the conventional way. And deep down, way deep down inside you, you had a little bit of hope the doctor seen in Serenno was wrong. You had a tiny bit of hope that you were normal, that you were okay. But it was shattered.
Less than one percent.
Din takes your hand, pulling you out of your mind and squeezes, giving you an assuring nod. Tears start falling from your eyes, but before you can apologize he walks past you towards the cockpit.
…
Laying down on the bed in your quarters, the one you share with Din, you face the cold metal wall this time. It’s been hours since Napater and he hasn’t talked to you ever since your outburst. How could he, if every time he tried, you pushed him away? He was giving you the space you wanted, but you started to feel so alone in his absence.
Guilt is your own personal hell. It’s starting to eat you on the inside, leaving you tired. You’re tired of crying, you’re tired of feeling helpless, you’re tired of laying down. You wish you were in the cockpit, with the kid and Din, laughing and talking like you always did. Tears spill from your eyes for what it feels the millionth time.
It’s the shuffling of sheets you hear first, and then you feel a very light weight on your shoulder behind you. Lying on your back, you turn your head to see the kid sitting on the bed, staring curiously at you.
“Hey, green bean,” You whisper to him and he smiles at you, throwing his little body at you and hugging your neck as much as he could with those tiny, tiny arms. Maker, he’s so small and cute and adorable and he’s probably already forgotten you raised your voice in his presence. Sniffing, you lay your palm on his back, pulling him closer to you. When you speak, your voice is nothing but a whisper, so small you know only he can hear it, even though you’re alone in the room. “I’m sorry I yelled, okay? Mommy’s so sorry, can you forgive me?”
A small sob escapes from your lips when you feel his little head nodding against you, indicating he fully understood you. All this fuss about the infertility news, the sadness and the argument with Din, you ended up forgetting you already have the most precious baby in the whole galaxy. How could you? The most adorable creature in the world, the most rare, exquisite bundle of joy. And he was yours. Yours and Din’s. You’ve got everything you need right in front of you.
“I love you so much,” You whisper to him. “So, so much.”
This is the scene Din finds when he enters the quarters, looking for the Child that escaped his supervising a few minutes ago: you holding the kid like if you life depended on it, him holding you back like if he knew. He approaches you both with the intention of taking the kid to give you space, but you take him by surprise as you open your eyes to look at him.
“Sorry, I–”
“Let him stay,” You ask him. “Please.”
He looks at you and considers for a moment, then nods. His eyes linger on you for a moment before turning around to leave. Your voice stops his movements before he could reach the door.
“Stay with us?”
It’s soft, so soft and inviting. Memories from when he was just falling in love with you hit him like a train, memories he would never forget. It takes him back to the night you first asked him to lay with you. It was a cold night and you had caught a strong flu, one that were taking you longer to recover. You were freezing, even though you were burning up with fever. With that soft, inviting voice you asked him to stay.
“The ship…” He trails off and you give him a disappointed look. You know he never sleeps when the ship is in hyperspace. It’s too dangerous.
“Oh.”
“We’re almost there,” He promises.
“Where?”
He hesitates before answering. “Sorgan.”
…
You haven’t been to Sorgan in so long you’d almost forgotten how hot the days are. As soon as you left the ship, you felt the hot breeze on your face and almost groaned. Din said you all needed a break and decided to say for a couple of days in the forgotten planet. You didn’t complain, you actually agreed you needed a break from the Razor Crest and the bounty hunting life you both had. So he rented a small apartment room in an Inn for all of you to stay. It wasn’t much bigger than the Razor Crest but it was something. It had a small dining room, with a table and a separated room with a bed.
And, of course, the Child was ecstatic. During the first day, you both stopped by the small village you once had helped. He was so happy to see his old friends, now a little more grown up than before, you could cry when you saw the smile on his little face.
It was good to see everyone again. Especially Cara. You’ve grown found of the woman during your days in Sorgan, when training the people from the village. It was someone to relate to. The day you arrived, you spent a night at the cantina, just drinking and talking and laughing. Din was there too, but he wasn’t there. He was quiet and barely talked to you, only responding to Cara’s comments and questions. It made your heart ache, as if he didn’t want to be there.
Tonight, it’s just you and Cara. Claiming he was taking the Child to the village, he told you to have fun. So you came down to the establishment to have a couple of drinks with her.
“You’re my friend right?” Cara asks, after taking a sip from her drink. You nod, bringing your cup to your lips. “You’d tell me if something happened to you, right?”
Your eyes meet hers, a frown between your brows as you set your cup down.
“What, you don’t think I’ve noticed?” She laughs. “When I first met you, the only time he wasn’t near you was… Never. Now he barely talks to you.”
Swallowing, you tear your gaze away from her and look at your unfinished drink, considering telling her the truth. A silent pause follows the moment until she calls your name, worry in her voice when you shake your head.
“What’s wrong?” Cara insists.
“We, uh…” You exhale deeply. “We were trying for another baby.”
“Oh?” She raises her eyebrows slightly, in surprise.
“Yeah, but it turns out that I can’t.” Saying it without choking on your tears is weird. Maybe it’s the alcohol.
“What do you mean?”
“Doctor said the chances of me getting pregnant are less than one percent.” You say, shrugging a bit. “And I guess, I’ve been… distant after that.” You continue. “Back in Napater, we had an argument– Well, I... yelled at him and…”
You trailed off, feeling Cara’s hand on your shoulder. Tears are in your eyes, and you don’t bother to hold them in; you’re so tired of crying.
“I just– I feel guilty, you know?” Your voice cracks. “He really wanted another kid.”
“Well, there are treatments for this kind of problem, right?” She tried to comfort you.
You shake your head. “We don’t have enough credits.” A beat in silence hangs heavy in the air as you finish your drink.
“You can always… Steal another baby,” Cara shrugs. “You’re an expert on that.”
A laugh escapes your mouth, your shoulders shaking with it. “I guess you’re not wrong.”
She smiles at you, nodding.
“Listen,” She says, turning her body to face you and you do the same. “You know him better than I do, but what I know, ever since I first saw him with you, is that he loves you very much. It’s ridiculous, anyone can see how much that buckethead adores you.” You grin, timidly, looking away for a moment. “Be honest with him. Tell him you feel the way you feel.”
Cara’s simple advice makes you realize that maybe you weren’t completely honest with Din. Maybe it wasn’t fair of you to hide your feelings and your sadness and then lash out at him like you did.
You sigh, nodding at her. “You going soft on me, Carasynthia?”
She lets out a laugh and finishes her drink. “Fucking never.”
Laughing you smile at her, thankful you met her tonight. Cara was never one for being soft and understanding, but she was a good friend. A friend you’re grateful for.
…
It’s dark when you go back to the inn, the sun long gone before you even left the cantina. When you enter the small room, you see Din sitting on the table working on cleaning his blasters.
“You’re back already,” You say as you close the door behind you. He tilts his helmet towards you and nods. “Where’s the green bean?”
“I let him spend the night,” He says, voice raspy, altered by the modulator.
“Oh.” You stand by the door, awkwardly waiting for him to make the next move.
“He’ll be alright. Omera will take care of him.” He stands up from his chair. “How’s Cara?”
This is the most he’s talked to you ever since you got here, so you enjoy the most you can. “She’s good. Said she missed you tonight.”
A modulated chuckle echoes the place and you feel the corners of your lips curve into a small smile. When you speak, your voice is just a whisper, almost inaudible.
“I missed you too.”
Din doesn’t respond and the smile falls from your face almost as quick as he looks away from you.
“I brought you dinner,” He says, walking towards the bedroom. “I’m going to lie down.”
You don’t feel like eating at the moment, your stomach twisting in anxiety as you look at the food that’s set on the table. But you do sit down and eat the food he brought you, thankful for it. After, you discard the leftovers, and turn off the lights, stalking after him to the bedroom.
When you enter the small bedroom, you see him lying on his side, facing the wall. You try to be as silent as possible when you change your clothes, even though you know he’s still awake. His back faces you as you lie down and you stare at his hair, a brown mess of locks, fighting the urge to run your fingers through them. The bed isn’t bigger than yours at the ship and you’re so close, but still you fight every fiber in your body to not touch him.
“Din,” You whisper in the dark, after a moment in silence. He hums in response, his voice indicating he’s wide awake. You hesitate, suddenly feeling a little anxious. It’s ridiculous, you think, why are you so nervous to tell him that you’re sorry? You’ve been with him for years, saying sorry wasn’t a new thing in your relationship. “I– I’m sorry.”
Din doesn’t speak for a moment and then rolls over on the bed to face you. His eyes are warm and he’s so close you can feel when he takes a deep breath.
“Why are you apologizing, sweet girl?” His voice is soft, so soft it makes you wanna cry.
“Because I was a bitch,” You answer, looking away from him. “And– And you’re not talking not me because I yelled–”
His hand touches your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin and you stop talking when he gives you a soft look.
“I just thought you wanted space, my love.”
“I thought so, too.” Your voice is small, but he hears you just fine.
Din moves his hand to the back of your neck and kisses you tenderly. When he pulls back, the words spill out of your mouth.
“I haven’t been honest with you.” You look at him as he waits for you to continue. “When we went to Napater, I had a little bit of hope, and then–” You exhale. “And then it was shattered. You kept asking the doctor about alternatives and treatments and I just kept asking myself– What’s the point? We don’t have money, we can barely survive with the kid, and– And I feel guilty, okay? For snapping at you, for making the kid cry, for– Not being able to–”
“Come here.” He pulls you closer to him and you bury your face on his shoulder, only noticing the tears spilling from your eyes as your skin makes contact with the fabric of his shirt. His voice sounds choked as he speaks. “Please don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault.”
His hand cradles the back of your hair as the other is hooked on your lower back, keeping your body glued to his.
“It’s not your fault,” He repeats, whispering in your ear. You nod onto him and sniff, pulling away and trying to wipe the tears and snot from his shirt. Hooking a finger under your chin, he makes you look at him. “I’ll be with you until the end of the times. Either you give me a child or not.”
Fresh tears water your eyes as you feel your chest getting lighter with every word he says. It’s like a weight that’s been lifted from your shoulders.
“Do you promise?” You whisper and lean forward to kiss him.
He smiles on your mouth. “I promise.”
Din pulls you closer, deepening the kiss and moving his hand from your lower back to the back of your thighs. He tugs at you, hooking a hand on the back of your knee to pull you towards him as he lies on his back, making you straddle him. Your hair falls on his face, but he doesn’t seem to mind; your hands cradle his face as his travel between your hips and waist, occasionally digging his finger on your flesh. A quiet moan vibrates in your throat as he gives your ass a firm squeeze, caressing the skin under the thin fabric of your nightgown.
“I’ll never get tired of this,” He whispers, diggin his fingers on your soft flesh again and you laugh on his mouth, feeling your core suddenly burn with desire.
Grinding against him, you move your lips to kiss his jawline and neck, sucking on that sweet spot below his ear. Maker, he loves when you do this to him; he pulls the hem of your nightgown upwards to cup your bare ass, groaning and moaning your name. You pull back to look at him in the dark, the locks of hair framing your face and he looks at you with soft eyes. Then, your hands lean on his chest as you move to sit up, on him; his hands immediately push the spaghetti straps of your gown down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Din swallows, feeling his mouth go dry at the sight.
“I love when you wear this,” He says, his hands cupping your tits.
“I know.” You smile as you grind harder on him, feeling how hard he is and how wet you are at each movement, closing your eyes and moaning softly.
Looking down at him, you take his hardness out of his trousers and your hands and squeeze it lightly, pumping a few times before reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it up; he helps you take it off him and does the same with your gown. You lean down to press a kiss on his chest, now grinding your own wet cunt on his length.
“Fuck, baby,” He says. “You’re so good to me.”
“No, Din,” You answer, taking him again and guiding him to your entrance. “You’re so good to me.”
A loud moan escapes your mouth as you sink down on him, feeling him fill you completely. He grabs your hips and digs his fingers on your flesh, grunting your name as he pushes you down even more. His hips bucks upwards thrusting into you as you begin to ride him. It’s not like it’s been a while since you’ve both had sex, but tonight it feels different. It’s like you haven’t seen him after a long mission and welcomed him in the best way possible. The pace is slow at first, but Din increases the speed, making you dig your nails on his chest. He moans your name, slamming his hips on yours and you gasp, a sly smile on your lips.
“M-maker, you feel so good–” He grunts, his nails digging on your flesh. “I’ll never get tired of fucking this pretty pussy–”
“Fuck, Din,” You moan, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll cum–” A gasp leave your lips. “I’ll cum–”
“Does that feel good, baby?” He interrupts you, watching your breasts bounce in front of him. “You take me so well, you look–” A grunt escapes his lips. “You look s-so pretty on top of me like this, fuck.”
His words are the trigger you needed to reach your orgasm. You can feel it coming, deep down in your stomach, as you squeeze him down there. Din seems to sense it too, because he grabs the back of your neck, pulling you down to lie on his chest as he thrusts inside you deeper.
“Din…” You warn him, burying your face on his chest.
“I know, Meshl’a,” He replies, his arm holding your body to his. “Let it out, honey, let it all out.”
And you do. Your orgasm hits you with so much strength and intensity that your legs twitch around him. You moan and grunt, cursing softly and grabbing the sheets under him for support. You have no idea what hits you, but you know it’s the best orgasm he’s ever given to you. Din slows down his pace and put his hands on the side of your face, making you look at him.
“You okay?” He asks, concerned. Of course he noticed the twitch of your legs and the way you came hard on him.
“I’m great.” You nod, smiling at him.
He pulls out of you for a second, just to roll you both over on the mattress, hovering you and guiding himself inside you again. Your sensitive walls welcome him back, taking him inside and you smile, closing your eyes as he buries his face on the crook of your neck. He slams your hips together, and you tangle your fingers on his hair; you know he’s close too.
“Cum inside me, baby,” You whisper in his ear and he groans loudly, his pace becoming sloppy and slow.
You feel him throb inside you, a muffled moan echoes the room as he fills you completely. The warm, sticky substance, somehow, make you whole.
“Maker, I love you.” He pulls out of you with a groan and lies down by your side, breathing hard.
You immediately hug his torso, laying your head on his shoulder and pressing a kiss on his cheek, nuzzling his jawline. He hugs you back and sigh, staying like that for a moment, waiting for your hearts to calm down, your breathings be back to its normal speed.
“Back at the Crest,” Din starts, pulling you closer to him. “When I saw you with the kid on our bed, I– I couldn’t stop thinking...” He trails off and you move your hand to his face, yours still buried on his neck, encouraging him to speak. “You’re such a great mom.”
Tears burn your closed eyes, threatening to spill, and you swallow hard, tightening your grip on him.
“You’re so good to him,” He says, his voice cracking. “And to me too.”
You take a shaky breath, feeling the tears stream down your face and drip on his neck.
“I– I got so caught up in the bad news, that I forgot we already have a baby,” You say, fighting the tears. “Maybe– Maybe just a miracle will get me pregnant but… That’s okay, Din. Because I have you and him.”
It takes you a second to realize he’s also crying, his voice cracking as he speaks.
“I really love you.” He sobs and you pull back to look at him, brushing his hair away from his forehead, a gesture he’d grown to love during the years with you.
“I love you too,” You answer, pressing your lips against his.
Maybe you’ll never get pregnant. Maybe a miracle will happen, maybe it won’t. But you know that’s okay, because your family will always be there for you. Your small, weird family.
You sob into Steve’s shoulder, tears wet and warm. Heavy trembles tumble through your body while you lay under his hands. He almost thinks he’s crushing you; most of his weight is sinking into the plushness of your body. But when he goes to roll over—and bring you with him—you cling to him with a renewed ferocity.
A smooth laugh, deep and quick against your skin. You shudder under his mouth, earthquakes of want raking through you. When he takes you into his arms, it’s like he’s holding all of your atoms together, causes your entire being to vibrate.
Your fingers are so little compared to his biceps, small and fleeting tingles of pressure as you squeeze him. He goes to wrap them up with his own hands and you squeeze his fingers too. You’ve always been like this: soft, lovely. Wide legged and open-mouthed, full of optimism and ideas and happiness.
A home.
You’ve always been a home for him; Steve’s known you’d be trouble since you held his hand for the first time. Real trouble.
“You’ve always been alone.” You throw your arms around his neck, bring his head closer to your chest. He leaves love bites down to your breasts that leave you panting and hot.
Because first, there was Bucky, all charisma and charm and— death. Then there was Peggy, beautiful and red and an inspiration for Steve’s heroically misguided plane crash.
Steve was born alone. He “died” alone. He returned to the living alone. He’s always been one of a kind, a man out of time, doomed to live in limbo. And in the deep of his chest sits the eternal existing somewhere he does not belong— a forever feeling of inbetween.
Loneliness. He knows, it’s Loneliness.
“I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”
You whisper it as you wind yourself tighter around Steve. And now there is you. All brazen words and bright eyes, wild hair and soft lips. With a hand on his back and a hold on his heart, in tears because you want Steve to be happy. And you want him to be happy with you.
Steve could never be alone. He almost starts to think that he’s never been alone.
Redamancy • (noun) The act of loving someone who loves you; a love returned in full.
Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Twilight
Preface | Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four
Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten
Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen
New Moon
Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty | Twenty-One
Twenty-Two | Twenty-Three | Twenty-Four
Eclipse
Twenty-Five | Twenty-Six | Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight | Twenty-Nine
[In-progress • My life is a mess so updates are random]
Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Notes: I fell asleep after I decided to add a Jasper dialogue last night… I’m sorry it’s later than normal lol remember, I told yall Jasper has to make up for his being gone😌🫣
Word Count: 2373
Series Masterlist
• March 20th, 2006 • Forks HS •
Reader
The weekend passed by in a blur, I spent it wishing I got more time with Jasper, but he desperately needed to hunt. So that left me with Quil, if he noticed my far-away mind, he didn’t comment, the new video game he picked up Friday occupied most of his attention.
Friday. I jumped off a cliff with Bella, was rescued by Quil’s ex-best friend, and then the object of my every waking thought showed up at my doorstep.
Friday was a long day, to say the least.
Which brings us to today - Monday. I have to go to school as if it were a normal fucking day, like my weekend hadn’t changed the trajectory of my life. Like my other best friend isn’t in Italy right now fighting to save the man she loves.
Slamming the door shut to my locker, I turn towards the direction of second period when a hulking mass at the other end of the hallway stops me short.
The blonde next to him grins, gracefully walking in my direction as if no more than the weekend had passed since I last saw them.
“Life has been rather dull without you.” Rosalie brings me into a delicate hug, the smile on her face growing.
“I missed you too.” The words aren’t much more than a whisper and my heart twists in my chest, they’re really back.
My eyes haven’t left his and they’re so full of sadness. The hallway empties out, but neither of us has managed to move an inch or look away.
Rose nudges me, “Go.”
A simple word, but the command moves my feet. It started off as one step and then two, but then I’m halfway down the hallway in a full sprint. Emmett takes one large step and then another before I fling myself into his arms, wrapping my own tightly around his neck.
“I hate you.” The words aren’t true, but this ache in my chest can’t be described any other way.
“I know.” His words are muffled as he lifts me.
“I missed you every day.” Tears well in my eyes, making it hard to see the grin splitting Rosalie’s face.
“I missed you more.” He argues back.
Safety, that’s Emmett McCarty Cullen. He’s strength and power and softness that only a man his size with his heart could exude. He is the definition of protector - someone that would go to any lengths to safeguard those closest to him. And just his hugs alone could cure anything, the hug of a brother who cares immensely.
“You left me.” The tremble in my voice gives my hurting heart away.
He clears his throat, “And I put him through hell every day for it.”
“He really has.” Rose confirms, full on smiling at me.
Emmett sets me back down on my own two feet, holding my shoulders in his massive hands, “Never again, I can promise you that.”
“Emmett-” I start, but he isn’t having it.
“Nope, we’re already late for class and I have some catching up to do.” Winking, he offers me one arm and his mate the other, leading us in the direction of next period.
• March 21st, 2006 • Home •
Reader
“Hey, you got a sec?” Knocking on the door frame to my mother’s bedroom, I watch as she turns off her tv.
“For you? Always honey, c’mere.” She pats the bed in front of her, her full attention making me a little nervous.
I sit and work up the courage for a few beats. “He’s back.”
“I know, I saw Doctor Cullen at work yesterday.” Her calm answer surprises me.
“I’m not sure what to do, momma.” I pull at her old bed spread, hoping for some words of wisdom.
“Well, you have options.” Her warm hands cover mine and encourage me to meet her eyes. “You can kick him to the curb since he dropped off the face of the earth for six months.”
“Or?” I ask, provoking her to complete her unfinished advice.
“Or, you can give him another chance.” A beat of silence while I weighed her answer. “You don’t have to do it right away either, you can ask for space to think about it. You can make him talk it out too.”
I process the possibility of cutting him out of my life for all of half a second before my heart tells me it’s impossible.
“Talk to him, I know you need to.” My mother has always been able to read me like a book, it’s why it’s so easy to get along with her.
“Why give me options? Why not forbid me to see him?”
Her knowing smile grows, “Because you’ll do what you want anyways. And no matter how much I want to protect my baby,” she lovingly strokes my cheek, “you have to navigate this in a way that heals that pretty heart of yours. I’d be failing you as a parent to not allow you to figure this out.”
“Mom-” tears threaten the corners of my eyes.
“Don’t think that means I’ll cut him some slack.” She jokes, but her tone includes some seriousness. “He hurt my baby.”
“I love you, you know that?”
“Always sweet pea, I love you too.” She delivers a sloppy kiss to my cheek before reclining back to her previous tv-watching position.
Rising from her bed with a lighter heart in my chest, she stops me at her doorway, “I got your back kid, whatever you decide.”
I turn and give her a genuine smile, “I know, thanks mom.”
• March 22nd, 2006 • Forks HS •
Reader
Setting my tray down at the dubbed “Cullen table” I make direct eye contact with Edward as I stand before the siblings.
Don’t fucking do that again.
His face splits with a grin. “To which are you referring?”
Leaving her, leaving your family, going to Volterre with a death wish, you fucking idiot.
He actually laughs at my angry directive thoughts, the bastard.
You have people that care about you, you know. My eyes soften as his meet mine seriously. Including me. I’m glad you’re safe. And home.
He nods, unable to meet my eyes now.
“I’d hug you if you weren’t so adverse to physical affection.” Before I finish my statement, he rises from his chair to round the table towards me.
Shock roots me to the spot as his arms envelop lightly around my frame, my arms hesitantly wrapping around the tall Cullen after a beat.
“Thank you.” It’s whispered low enough for just me to hear and he’s returning to his seat.
Emmett’s jaw practically hits the floor, “You’ve never given me a hug-”
“Because your hugs are rather violent in their intensity.” Edward notates.
“But-” Emmett whines.
“No ‘buts’, I’m his favorite.” Sticking out my tongue at Emmett as I take my seat next to Jasper, the jealous vampire launches into a deep explanation of why he must be the family favorite.
“Thank you for starting something I will never hear the end of.” Jasper leans over to whisper in my ear as I grin at Edward who rolls his eyes.
“Glad to be of service.”
Reader
That afternoon I rode with Alice to the Cullen’s after school, something about an intervention with Bella and their family. And naturally, the curious part of me agreed to tag along.
The moment her car comes to a stop in their driveway, Jasper is opening my door and offering me a steadying hand.
“Do you know what this is about?” I ask, watching as Alice skips ahead of us.
“Not a clue, sweet girl.” He answers, leading me inside his family home.
His cool hand enveloping mine sends a pang through my chest, it’s like none of this is real - I’m just in some heavy dream. I’ve wished and hoped for their return with every fucking cell in my body, but now that they’re back? It’s surreal and I’m on edge - I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Standing loosely in a circle in the living room, our attention turns to Bella on the stairs, Edward looming behind her.
“You all know what I want. And I know how much I’m asking for. The only thing I can think of, for it to be fair, is to just vote.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about-”
“Shut up.” Bella shushes Edward from his grumbling.
Bella is asking them to vote on her becoming a vampire? A slight tremble begins in my hands, this isn’t exactly a debate I’d wished to be a part of. I mean, what would this mean for me? Would we eventually have one of these for me?
“Alice?” Bella asks, opting for starting with the one securely in her corner.
“I already consider you my sister.” She surges forward to wrap her in a hug. “Yes.”
One vote yes.
“Thank you.”
“I vote yes.” The rumble of Jasper’s chest under the hand I have placed there stops my breathing. “It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time.”
It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time. The words ring in my ears and burn my chest, repeating.
Two votes yes.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry to both of you for how I’ve acted. And I’m really grateful that you were brave enough to go and save my brother.” Rosalie’s next sentence a quiet confession within her answer, “But this isn’t a life I would’ve chosen for myself. And I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me. So, no.”
A breath, one vote no.
“I vote hell yeah.” Em spins her around in his excitement, “We can pick a fight with these Volturi some other day.”
Three votes yes, one vote no.
“I already consider you a part of the family, yes.” Esme happily gives her blessing as Carlisle steps forward to look at Edward.
Four votes yes, it’s almost unanimous.
“Why are you doing this to me?” He asks his adoptive father. “You know what this means.”
“You’ve chosen not to live without her, which leaves me no choice. I won’t lose my son.”
Carlisle’s answer is like a gavel being slammed down, sealing her fate, confirming what she wants.
Bella meets my eyes, even I can tell relief floods them as I’m sure anxiety fills mine. She’s going to turn into one of them - a vampire.
Jasper
After a few heavy minutes following the votes of my family, I turn to Y/n.
“Would you like to go home? It’s getting late.” I ask her, but her eyes are distant.
Immediately I gently probe at her emotions, but I can feel her trying to suppress them. I furrow my brow as I look down at her, why is she hiding from me?
I tilt her chin back and she removes herself entirely. Ice, I know as a vampire my core temperature is already low from the absence of blood in my system, but with her physical departure - it feels as though every ounce of warmth has been zapped from my very soul.
“I need time.” Her request is hardly a whisper and her eyes still refuse to meet mine.
Shock roots me to the floor, time? She’s asking for time from me. Not with, from. Away. Without.
And I must grant it to her. I’d give her anything in this world she would ask for.
I remove myself a step back from her even though my chest wishes to tug me forward.
“Emmett?” I ask aloud, not taking my eyes from her, he immediately answers by way of flashing to my side. “Take her home?”
“Of course, but-?” Curiosity tinged with sadness finishes what he fails to ask.
“Just get her home safe, please.” I step aside, forcing my eyes to my shoes as I clear the path to the front door for them.
Emmett escorts her outside and I swear, every bit of strength leaves and threatens to buckle me. I watch as the Jeep’s tail lights disappear down the driveway from the front windows.
“It’s the right thing to do.” Esme lays a hand on my shoulder as she watches with me, I hate the truth in her words. “She needs to process everything, we haven’t given her the chance and now this with Isabella, it’s a lot.”
“I know.”
Love. “Come here.”
I turn into her waiting arms, the overwhelming urge to cry hits me like a fucking freight train when her arms pull me close.
“She will be back, just be patient with her.”
“What if she realizes-”
“Nonsense, she’s hopelessly in love with you.”
I pull back to inspect her face, “What?”
She smiles at me in only the way a mother really can, “My son, trust me. Give her a few days, but she needs to know that love is returned.”
“How do you-”
“I’ve known since the day you first brought her home. I knew then she was yours before you ever figured out she was your singer, I’m a mom like that.” Winking at me, she pats my shoulder. “She makes you happier, lighter. It makes me happy to finally see that in you.”
Venomous tears make my vision swim, more often than not I take the fact that Esme mothers us in ways unique to every single one of us for granted.
Glancing down, I clear my throat like a typical male trying to avoid being emotional, “Thank you, Esme.”
“Dear, you never have to thank me, I love you more than you know.”
“I love you too.” I kiss her on the cheek, our talk having smoothed out my frayed nerves.
Time. I can give her time to think, to process everything that’s happened in the last week. But then she’s mine - she has to know how I feel about her. And if she wants nothing to do with me after that?
Well, I guess I’d give her that too.
But not until after I fight for her, because fighting for her is in my bones. Fighting is all I’ve ever known and it’s time I put it to good use.
Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Warnings: None
Notes: Holy shit I’m back and boyyyyy does it feel good! I missed you guys and I can’t thank you enough for the love and support🥹 Jasper and Reader need to go through this icky before getting back to normal and going through the craziness of Eclipse. This made me fuzzy on the inside to write because it’s healing this shit Bella and Edward never went through but needed to lol
Word Count: 2125
Series Masterlist
• March 24th, 2006 • Forks HS •
Reader
Two days.
Forty-eight hours since I told Jasper Hale I needed time, space. Insane, really. Insane that even though he’s gravity, he’s in every thought scrolling through my brain, I asked him for the very thing my heart abhors. The very thing my brain needs.
It’s exhausting, my rational brain warring with my irrational heart. He’s here, he’s home, I just need to soak up every second. But on the other hand… for how long? We still have the same issue - my humanity and his control.
My hand shuts my locker door not-so-softly and I stare at my fingers on the cold metal. They could be touching cold skin instead- fuck, this stupid beating organ in my chest.
Frustration drives me to dig my phone out of my pocket as the bell for fourth period rings, the hallway behind me emptying out quickly.
He answers on the second ring and relief loosens the knot in my chest fractionally.
“Hey girly, what’s up?” Quil’s chipper tone brings a grin to the corner of my lips.
“Kidnap me? Please?”
He must hear the desperation in my voice, since he agrees immediately. “Absolutely, I’ll be there in twenty.” A shout of protest echoes in the background and he apologizes quickly, he was in class I can’t just ask him to- “Lunch?” He asks, jogging now by the puffs of his breath.
“Quil, that's a thirty minute drive-” I protest, worried.
“And you need rescuing, figure out what you want for lunch.” He ends the call abruptly as the squeaky door to his junky old car opens.
Sighing at my phone, I pocket it and turn towards my next class. I can survive until he gets here, right? I’ve been climbing the walls for the last two days, the object of my thoughts noticeably absent from school.
That’s a good thing, right? He’s doing what I asked, allowing me the space I need to think clearly, without his persuasion.
When in all actuality, I can’t help but feel like the walls are shrinking.
He’s here, he’s home, he said he wasn’t going anywhere, his family is still here.
The affirmations trickle over my buzzing skin.
I saw Alice in second period. Emmett is sitting behind my empty seat in Trig - I just have to walk through the door.
How the fuck am I going to move forward, to figure out a solution with Jasper, if I’m also trying to tackle their abandonment?
I might as well be trying to move forward through mud - thick, dark, and fucking everywhere.
My phone vibrates about fifteen minutes before the end of class, I don’t dare pull it out of my pocket to confirm that it’s Quil.
My hand raises and immediately catches Mr. Varner’s gaze in the quiet classroom, “Yes, miss Y/l/n?”
“May I run to the bathroom, please?” I ask, trying to keep the sudden impatience out of my voice.
His nod is all I need to pack away my items quickly, behind me I hear the groan of the desk supporting the hulking frame of my other best friend.
“Y/n, what are you-” Emmett’s hushed whisper makes my pulse jump.
“I’ll be safe, promise.” I whisper back and practically run for the door.
A chair squeaks and Mr. Varner calls out, “Mister Cullen, she does not require assistance finding the ladies room, sit down.”
I flash him an apologetic smile as he slowly retakes his seat before I push the door open. I feel horrible, but I need the freedom waiting for me in the student parking lot.
Sprinting through the exterior double doors, a full-on smile overtakes my face as Quil leans over the center console to open the passenger door, “Hop in, loser!”
Sitting in the parking lot facing First Beach with the windows rolled down, munching on cheap burgers and fries, I feel like I can finally take a deep breath.
“Okay,” setting down his shake to begin his interrogation, I brace. “Not that playing hookie isn’t the best idea ever to kick off the weekend, but what’s wrong?”
“He’s back.” I stare at the last few bites of my burger as I set it down in my lap, the paper crinkling loudly.
“He as in-”
“Jasper.”
“Oookaaay,” he draws out the vowels, not really following the obvious dilemma. “You wanted him to come back, right? I mean, you were a fucking mess the last six months.”
“Yes I wanted him to come back! I just-” I hesitate, “I just don’t know how to feel about it.”
“If my boyfriend-” I level a look on him that he ignores, “He’s yours, hook, line, and sinker - c’mon. If my boyfriend up and abandoned me, and I hadn’t gotten over it in six fucking months, suddenly is back in my life, what’s there to feel other than relief? A reprieve from what you’ve been feeling without him?”
“Since when do you know-”
“Stop deflecting, I’m here to solve this shit because my best friend needs help.” He’s munching on fries like this is goddamn entertainment. “Answer. Now.” This fucking fucker.
“Fine.” I puff out a breath and stare at the waves. “We’re still in the same situation he left me in-”
“The situation you won’t tell me about?”
“Yes.” The exasperation in my tone brokers no room for argument on the subject, so I move on. “I feel like the rug is going to be yanked out from underneath me because of it. There’s no way, over or through this mountain, it’ll always be there.”
“Mountains wither over time; if creeks can be persistent enough to become rivers, then so can you. I don’t know what this mountain looks like, but have you ever asked him for help to explore it? To find a path in the trees one step at a time?”
I look at him, gobsmacked. He makes it sound so easy.
“Don’t look at me like that, I may not have experience, but I can tell you what I feel like is right. And it feels right to just talk to him. I can tell you what to do all day until I’m blue in the face, but only he can reassure you in ways no one else can.” The empathy in his face makes my eyes sting, fuck he’s right.
“You are a treasure, you know that Quil Ateara?” I give him a sad smile trying to reign in my stupid tears, reaching for his hand.
He gives it to me and squeezes, “Of course,” he says it like it’s as obvious as grass being green. “And someday I’ll be as wrecked about a girl and you can regurgitate this shit back to me.” His shit-eating grin contains a little mustard in the corner and I bust out laughing.
“Ancestors help her, she’ll have to put up with a lot when it comes to you.” I tease and he winks.
“I’m nothing but a hoot, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Cranking his museum piece of a car, he turns it in the direction of his house and we leave today’s worries in the sand to be washed away with the tide.
•March 24th, 2006 • Forks Community Hospital•
Jasper
The swish of the automatic front doors of the hospital snap me from the thoughts pinging around in my brain. The cold crystal in my hand gathering condensation brings me back to my mission.
Striding down the familiar hallway that contains Carlisle’s office, I stop at the door displaying his name. Peeking inside to confirm my hearing, my adoptive father is definitely absent from his worn leather chair. No matter, procrastination won’t win me anything.
Continuing down the hallway, my steps are nearly silent as the nurse’s station comes into view with the object of my mission sitting alone behind a massive monitor.
“It’s after visitation hours, you’ll have to come back-” She finally raises her eyes and her sentence peters off quietly, “tomorrow-Jasper?”
Y/n’s mother stands from her chair as she registers my face, eyes falling to the bouquet of flowers set in one of Esme’s many crystal vases.
“Take this one, she’ll know you mean business.” Esme deposited the vase on the kitchen counter in front of me this morning while I was lost in thought on how to talk to Y/n’s mom. Apparently flowers are still the way women prefer their apologies.
“Y/n is still at the Reservation-” She starts, assuming it’s her daughter the flowers are for.
“I know.” Placing the arrangement Rosalie helped me with on the counter, I turn my supernatural gift inward and mellow out my nerves. “These are for you, ma’am.”
“Oh.” Surprise fills the air as her speechlessness pulses for a few seconds, the beeping of heart rate monitors echo around us. “You didn’t have to-” Gasping, her eyes narrow when they meet mine, weariness floods her senses. “You’re not asking-”
I chuckle, knowing what this looks like, “No ma’am, I’m here to apologize.”
Nerves fill my throat in an unfamiliar sensation for a reason not related to this apology, she thought I was asking to marry her daughter.
I store that thought away in the recesses of my mind, I can’t even begin to fall down that rabbit hole of complication.
“I’m not the one who needs an apology.” Her tone is soft as she plucks at a deep red rose petal.
“Your daughter will get an apology from me for the rest of my life, if she chooses to let me continue to be in hers.” That grabs her attention again. “You deserve one too, you were with her when I wasn’t and it put an immense amount of unwarranted stress on you both. I hope you accept my sincerest apology, even if you decide I’m not worth your good graces.” I take a deep breath and speak from the heart with my next words. “In September I was given a challenge that I failed and it rocked my world in a way I’m not even sure I know how to handle even now. I thought that if I simply removed myself, she could continue on like she had before we met. I know now… I know now that was not the answer and it never will be.”
I notice her eyes begin to turn a little misty as she processes my words and it wrenches a little something in my chest, I didn’t want to make her mom cry.
“She makes me want to be better, do better.” I glance at the empty hallway, quiet this late in the afternoon. “I want to be someone she’s proud of, someone worthy of her, no matter how hard it is. I want you to be able to trust me with her, which is why it was important to tell you how sorry I am.”
After a moment of surveying my face, pure joy radiates from her pores as she rounds the end of the desk to face me fully.
“Of course I accept your apology,” she envelops me in what would be a bone crushing hug, “thank you.”
Relief courses through me as we separate, glad I decided to do this.
“I appreciate your apology and these gorgeous flowers,” she rubs my shoulder in such a soothing mom-manner before leveling me with a no-kidding look. “Whatever my daughter decides, goes.”
“Absolutely,” completely serious, “I am at her mercy and if she wants nothing to do with me, I’ll respect that.”
“I knew you were a good one.” She winks at me before returning to her seat with a smile. “Your dad should be finished with afternoon rounds, now that you got the hard part of your visit over.”
“It’s never hard, talking to a pretty lady.” Now it’s my turn to wink, she responds with a genuine laugh that makes me smile.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Mister Hale.” I take my leave as she resumes her typing.
Navigating back to my father’s office, I drop myself with relief into the chair in front of his immaculate desk.
“I’m pleased that went well, you did good.” He doesn’t even glance up at me, but the smile and his emotions oozing happiness tell me I did something right for once.
“One down, one to go.” I lean my head back in the chair and close my eyes, allowing myself to feel the relief of winning her mother over again.
“One down, one to go.” He repeats back, his smile evident in his voice.
I needed this win. I needed to succeed at something with this balled up mess in my chest.
