we all have secrets 🗝 ༝
⤷ jasper hale x fem!reader ノ reader is a teen mom ⸝⸝ reader plans to attend college for digital forensics ⸝⸝ does not follow the canon storyline ⸝⸝ mentions of fear of house fire & kidnapping ⸝⸝ maybe ooc? ⸝⸝ poor motherly behavior (from reader’s mom) ⸝⸝ young marriage ⸝⸝ bella is not mentioned ⸝⸝ mentions of mates
you were freshly seventeen when you found out you were pregnant. despite using both birth control and a condom, something went wrong. you were one of the few who it didn’t work for.
your mother supported you at first. she planned to let you stay, help with the baby while you were at school so you could still get a good career to support your child, and more. but, that changed when her boyfriend (of mere months) decided to move in. he wanted you gone, and she agreed. everything she had said before went out the door.
so, here you were, eight months pregnant hauling boxes into your grandparents’ house. your grandparents, being only in their early sixties, helped. they had taken you in with open arms.
they had basically cut contact with your mother for what she had done to you, all because of a man she had known for months. they disapproved of it heavily; they were sure they had raised her better than this. they even apologized to you as if her choices were their fault.
they set your room up in the guest room, and planned to turn the neighboring room into a nursery.
“i’ll get it done before the baby’s here, promise, muffin,” your grandfather reassured, kissing your hairline gently.
he had always been handy, working in carpentry before retiring. you knew he’d have the nursery finished in a week, if that. thankfully, your grandmother was a talkative woman who knew many people, so you got hand-me-down baby supplies. clothes, furniture, toys, and bedding were all free—given by old ladies and middle-aged mothers who had kept stuff from their children.
you gave birth in june to a beautiful baby girl, lenore—taken from edgar allen poe’s poem featuring the name. you started senior year that fall. your grandparents, both retired, happily cared for lenore while you attended school and work.
you had managed to get a job at a café that you worked at on tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays, and saturdays. occasionally, you picked up shifts in between.
during your first day, you had befriended a girl named angela webber. her other friends didn’t seem as fond of your company, but she liked you nonetheless. she sat with you at lunch, gossiping with you as a group of students entered from the exterior doors.
“those are the cullens,” angela muttered.
“those two,” she pointed to a blonde and a bulky brunet, “are dating. kinda weird being their adoptive siblings. the girl’s rosalie, the boy’s emmett.”
you nodded, watching as the next pair walked in. a blond and a short-haired brunette, more distance between them.
“that’s jasper and alice,” angela added, “they’re close, not dating like the other two.”
one last one walked in.
“that’s edward,” she stated.
“their dad’s carlisle cullen, big doctor. they live in the woods, don’t usually talk to other people.”
you nodded along, eyes lingering on the one she had told you was jasper. you swore you had heard a teacher ask if a jasper was present in a prior class, but you weren’t sure it was him. the name wasn’t that rare, after all.
you kept lenore to yourself. nobody needed to know of your baby girl. you didn’t want coddled or bullied, so you kept it private. lenore was your precious little secret.
your following class, anatomy and physiology, was almost across the school. upon entering the classroom, you spotted jasper, sitting in the second row. you looked at the seating chart paper. you were sat right next to him.
you walked down the aisle, sliding onto your stool and setting your backpack onto the floor.
“i’m [+],” you greeted softly. he smirked just faintly.
“jasper.”
his voice held a southern drawl, one that made your spine tingle and your heart swell. his smirk was soft, more of a smile.
alice had seen it coming long before she lied eyes on you in that lunch room. she knew how you and jasper would meet, how it would play out, and about your little secret before she had even been an idea.
days passed swimmingly. you’d attend school, go to work on the days you had shifts, and return home to your sweet girl. when feelings began to emerge, you wanted to suffocate them. lenore didn’t need another failure of a man in her life, neither did you. what if he was just the same? some high school boy trying to catch a sweet piece of ass and not the baggage that came with you?
jasper sensed it when you sat down in class. the weight of your emotions came with you. the hesitation, the fear, and the love all swirled inside of you. two kinds of love overlapped, a romantic one and a familial one. a part of him wanted to know what was causing this storm within you, yet another part told him to leave you be. he shouldn’t know these things. why expose himself?
he began distancing himself despite his curiosity. he didn’t want you getting attached to a monster like him, no matter how much he himself wanted it. another factor in his distancing was the scent of you. it wasn’t bad, never that. it was too good. comforting, homey, something so much deeper and more complex. he knew you must have been his blood singer, but something else pulled him to you. something stronger.
he had missed the whole week before christmas break. you were worried, both about him and his grades. surely, he had to be close to failing at this point. so, you gathered his missing assignments from the teacher.
you managed to catch alice as she was heading out of the doors at the end of the day.
“do you think i could drop by later? jasper—i don’t want him to fail, and he’s missed a lot. i would just give you the papers, but he needs to copy my notes and i need them back so i can study over break,” you explained.
alice smiled sweetly, nodding.
“of course! let me get your number to text you my address,” she replied, pulling her phone out and flipping it open. you grabbed yours as well, exchanging contact information.
“oh, before i go, is jasper alright? do you know what he has?” you questioned.
“just a stomach bug. he was getting better, but he didn’t want to infect anyone else so he stayed home.”
you nodded, thanking her before walking off to your car to head home before taking jasper’s papers to him. you had taken alice’s words as truth. why would she lie? to save her family’s skin, but you didn’t need to know that. not yet, at least. she knew you’d know eventually, but she would not change course unless something was to go terribly wrong.
upon arriving home, you quickly entered the house, finding your grandmother in the kitchen making dinner while lenore sat her highchair. you smiled softly, setting your things on the table, kissing your daughter sweetly.
“i have to drop some stuff off at a classmate’s house and let him copy my notes. are you alright with lenore or do you want me to wait?” you inquired, looking at your grandmother.
“no, no, go, honey. me and this little missy will be just fine for a few more hours,” she beamed, pinching your daughter’s cheek and earning a happy squeal.
“thank you,” you muttered as you hugged her tightly, rushing off to your room to change into something more comfortable. your grandmother had been such a help, and you’d always be grateful for that.
you changed fast, putting on a looser pair of jeans and a hoodie. you pulled a jacket on over that, grabbing your things again before rushing out the door. sliding into the driver’s seat, you checked your phone. alice has texted you the address.
you drove around slowly, following a map your grandfather had given you. the house was down a long road, surrounded by thick trees on either side. on arrival to the estate, you noticed the sheer size of the home and the pristine condition of it all.
you pulled into the driveway, cutting the engine. you grabbed your backpack from the passenger seat, wincing at the weight of it from all the extra papers. you texted alice that you were here, then you got out and headed to the front door. stuffing your keys into your jacket pocket, you knocked.
in mere seconds, alice answered with a big smile.
“hi! jasper’s upstairs, i’ll show you,” she stated. she hadn’t told him you were coming, and you had forgotten to ask for his number to tell him yourself. but, he knew you were there the moment you crossed the threshold. he had smelt you before, but he had hoped you were just mixed up and turning around in their driveway. how wrong he had been.
despite the odd looks from the other family members, she led you to jasper’s room. she stopped outside of his door, knocking three times. she opened it, revealing jasper sat upon a scarcely-decorated day bed, reading a book. he didn’t look invested. he merely stared at the pages.
she pushed you in gently before closing the door. the silence was heavy as jasper looked at you, closing the book in his hand. he knew the only reason the other cullens hadn’t stopped you was because of alice. they all listened to her. wouldn’t you if you knew she could see the future?
“i brought your assignments. i didn’t want you to get it all when you go back if you had time on break to do it,” you explained.
“thank you.”
his voice was gentle, not rough despite apparently having a stomach bug. surely he’d be weak, tired, throat sore from vomiting, but he didn’t appear to be any of those things.
you sat on the edge of the bed, watching him stiffen just a bit more. you scooted back instinctively. you opened your backpack, handing over the stack of assignments.
“i have my notes too,” you added as he took the papers.
just as you handed him your notebook, an odd feeling settled in your gut. thoughts rushed through your mind: your grandparents being in danger, lenore screaming and wailing from her crib as a man loomed over her, the house setting ablaze—
“i have to go,” you stammered out quickly, “i’m sorry.”
jasper remained in his spot, simply watching.
you basically ran out of the house, ignoring alice’s confused calls of your name. you climbed into your car quickly, backing out of the driveway and speeding off.
alice burst into jasper’s room, “you made her leave?”
“i don’t want to hurt her,” he muttered, standing from the mattress. he struggled the hardest to withhold that hunger for blood, especially yours. it smelt so sickeningly delicious through your skin.
“you won’t, i’m sure of it,” alice replied encouragingly.
he’d have to be able to withhold his hunger, for your sake and lenore’s sake. alice knew that he could. when jasper loved someone, he loved them fully. his worst nightmare was hurting someone he loved.
on christmas eve, just two days later, your doorbell rang while you were watching rudolph—the old claymation version. with lenore on your hip, you stood up and approached the door. you assumed it was a neighbor bringing cookies, living by a bunch of older women brought that, so you kept ahold of lenore.
but as you opened the door, your heart nearly stopped. jasper stood just over the threshold, notebook in hand, siblings in the jeep on the road. they were all here, all to see you with your baby girl.
“babysittin’?” jasper asked with a soft smile.
you quickly nodded, “mhm, she’s my baby sister.”
jasper sensed the deceit. edward read your mind from the jeep. lenore cooed at the man before you, reaching towards him. you quickly readjusted her on your hip, keeping her close.
“i was just stoppin’ by to drop this off,” he held your notebook out.
you grabbed it quickly, “thank you.”
you both said your goodbyes, and you shut the door before he was even off the porch. they’d believe the lie, surely, despite how much your daughter resembled you.
as soon as jasper slid back into the jeep, he spoke, “she’s not her sister, ain’t she?”
edward shook his head. alice frowned beside them; she should’ve seen this, but she hadn’t. she had expected you to be able to tell jasper about lenore yourself.
“you should get her something,” alice suggested late that night, upon their arrival home.
“like what?” jasper’s tone was sarcastic. he wasn’t sure what to get you; he had never been a gift giver.
“maybe jewelry? she likes that. or maybe something for her sis—”
“that ain’t her sister, alice. y’know it.”
alice winced slightly.
“maybe you should just tell her,” alice stated suddenly, “tell her everything.”
“you can’t be serious. she’ll go mad, if she doesn’t think we are.”
“trust me, jasper.”
this was one of the very few times jasper questioned alice, but he trusted her.
“tomorrow evening, her grandparents will be at a christmas party.”
it was eight o’clock when your doorbell rang. pausing your movie, you left lenore on her mat to play with her new toys as you answered the door. when you saw jasper again, you were a bit stunned. the small box in his hand added to it.
“brought you somethin’,” he mumbled as you let him in. lenore looked up, managing to spot him over the back of the couch. she giggled and reached for him but quickly distracted herself with her toys once more.
“you didn’t have to—i didn’t get you anything,” you insisted as he took your wrist, leading you to sit with him on the couch.
“just open it,” he urged.
you opened the box, revealing a charm bracelet. it held three charms: a little strand of dna, an L charm, and an orchid charm. you pieced together the strand of dna as a representation of your career choice and the pink orchid for its symbolism of femininity, but how had he known lenore’s name was lenore? you had never told him.
“how did you—?”
“i know she ain’t your sister.”
you stilled, looking at him with an expression of utter horror. he grabbed your hands, and only then did you realize how cold his were. you hadn’t earlier, too busy feeling awful for not also getting him a gift.
he began explaining everything. he spoke slowly, like he was breaking earth shattering news to you. to him, it was just that. surely, you’d kick him out, never speak to him again.
he explained his whole life. the war, his time before meeting the cullens, when he met the cullens, and the space between then and now. he explained how he could sense emotions and manipulate them, how he had manipulated yours to make you leave that first day of christmas break. he explained why he had been avoiding you, what a blood singer was and how he struggled to withhold his hunger.
it all felt like a tidal wave, but his hands in yours—despite how chilled they were—soothed you a bit.
jasper continued explaining things. he explained how he understood you were his mate, but immediately insisted that he would never force or coerce you into being with him—especially after everything he had told you. he wasn’t going to force a sweet girl into this life, it wasn’t fair.
you glanced between him and lenore, chest rising and falling heavily as you contemplated everything. there were risks, oh so many risks. being turned could kill you, and would kill lenore this young. remaining human and being with him would pose risks of being attacked by others—others who despised the human race, who only saw them as blood sacks.
jasper had promised to protect you and lenore, whether you went with him or not.
“i’m not askin’ you to leave them,” he added, pulling your attention from lenore, “not askin’ anything of you. i thought it was only fair y’know about everything.”
you nodded. he wouldn’t make you do anything. the gift hadn’t been coercion, it had been almost an apology—an apology for all of this, everything he had just laid on you.
“is it crazy if i say yes?” you asked quietly. you enjoyed his company, he was one of the few people you had grown somewhat close to in school. you glanced at lenore again.
“no, but i don’t want you to say yes for me, sweetheart, i want you to say yes because you want to,” he stated. oh, that southern drawl was so soothing and heart-clenching.
“you’ll protect her, right?” you pressed.
“both of you,” he reassured.
“you can’t tell my grandparents any of that, okay? it stays secret.”
jasper nodded.
as if on cue, lenore crawled over, grabbing his leg to pull herself to stand. she flashed a gummy smile at you two before you pulled her into your arms. jasper pulled you against his chest, rubbing your upper back as he smoothed a hand over lenore’s hair.
everyone had their secrets. sharing them only strengthened trust.
it had been a year now. you did college virtually, and you lived between your grandparents’ home and the cullens’ home. lenore was talking now, not much but still talking.
“mama, water,” she’d pout, toddling up to you with her sippy cup.
“mama, where dada?” she’d ask when she awoke each morning when you stayed at your grandparents’ home.
she never referred to her biological father when saying that, only jasper. she had called him that one afternoon, and you immediately apologized—but he shushed you, insisting it was fine.
your mother hadn’t contacted you once since she kicked you out. not a holiday card or a letter checking in. nothing. maybe it was better this way. a woman who abandoned her child for a man wasn’t worth having as a mother.
your grandparents had welcomed jasper, cooing about how he was such a gentleman and so kind. he’d always ask why, saying what they praised was the bare minimum. you’d explain bare minimum was a lot, at least in your situation.
“do you ever question moving away?” you questioned late one night, looking up at jasper from your spot beside him. he had exchanged his day bed for a proper king-sized bed, making laying with him as you slept much comfier.
“‘course i do, but there’s always a risk,” he muttered, “we’ve always stayed together, for safety, even when we’ve moved around.”
you sighed softly. you needed to move for work. forks didn’t have good forensics positions, the town was too small. there would be no room for growth, exceedingly low pay compared to larger cities, lack of updated machinery, and likely repetitive cases. it’d be a waste of schooling, and a waste of time.
“but, we’ll go anywhere you need to,” jasper kissed your forehead carefully.
“really?”
“carlisle can get employed anywhere, he’s a damn doctor. we’ll be just fine movin’ wherever you need to.”
you laughed softly as a small chuckle escaped him as well. faint footsteps made you turn your head towards the door. the door opened and lenore shuffled on. she closed the door behind herself, scurrying over to the bed. she crawled up with ease, forcing herself between you two.
jasper’s hand came to rest on her back, rubbing gently.
“what’s wrong, baby?” you inquired softly.
“hear people talkin’,” lenore whispered, nestling further into the space.
the others were still awake. she must’ve been able to hear them from bed. you allowed her to stay between you and jasper, where she quickly dozed back off.
another year passed. now, you lived just on the edge of the city. you worked often, irregularly but often. some days you were able to remain at home while other days you needed to work within the building for numerous reasons. you now worked with a ring on your left hand; a dark silver band with gemstone rose vines wrapped around a heart-shaped ruby at the center.
your wedding was to occur that winter, just around your anniversary.
it was beautiful when it came. simple, small, but still gorgeous. they had done everything exactly as you wanted, and you only had to tell jasper once.
during the reception, esme had taken lenore up to the microphone for her to talk.
“uhm,” the little girl started, gathering her thoughts, “i’m really happy mama married dad, and i really like the tiara mama bought me.”
everyone laughed, receiving a giggle from lenore. she ran to you and jasper, crawling into his lap. he held her with one hand, keeping his other with yours.
your life had been rough, but at least everything brought you to this moment. you’d forever be thankful for alice snapping a picture just at that very moment as you stared at them lovingly, while lenore’s little eyes were locked with jasper’s amber ones. your two most precious people right before you.
and to think you had ever kept that precious little girl a secret from him.
first twilight fic in 4ever ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა
